Help me get off these painkillers again, i relapsed!

I have been taking lortab, percocet, vicoden for a total of 7 years. I started the same as most...given by a dr for pain and so on. About 3 yrs ago i quit cold turkey, and that was the worst thing i have ever went thru! I see people are writing two days to seven days....but for me and ive heard from many my withdrawl (withdrawal) was about two weeks. The first week was horrible, you start to think paranoid and emotions run rampant. The pain is unbelievable and sleep or even moving is almost unbearable. It did help to start and walk a little if only to make my body tired in hopes of sleep! Gradually and I mean very slowly ,y body began to recover. I was back to myself, proud, money in my pocket and energy without popping a pill. I became me again! After a year of being clean i began using lortab again....I dont understand what made me do it. why would i do this again? Im confused because i swore this off and here i am again. I feel like im weak because im terrified of going thru the withdrawls again.Please help me deal with this because i have many friends and family but i dont want to dissappoint them and tell them. I have to stop or ill die, i know this, because i take a ton of them. I take about 8 lortab 10's a day and im scared!

[reallyneedhelp76]

Ok, you need to stop beating yourself up.  I always tell people that detox is like dieting, one big mac a fat but does not make, so you can't help what you did in the past but you DEFINTELY CAN change what you do today.  So, you know you need to stop, the thomas reciepe herbs are VERY helpful take all of them right from the start.  And also, not a lot of people say this but i think that a big issue we users need to address is WHY we started using, not for pain, but why we kept using after the pain was gone.  Have you ever addressed that issue?  and remember your not alone, people are here all the time, so post, post post!!!! We're all supporting you!

[sudie58]

hi,dont beat yourself up too much, i relapsed quite a few times, and so do lots of us, we have this disease called addiction, and we always need to be aware of this, i think when i realised this it did help so much, you need some aftercare, its very hard getting clean, but staying clean is also very hard, we need things such as NA/AA, counselling, therapy anything that can help us think a bit differently, you will get there,  dont be too scared of withdrawal, it isnt always as bad again, take care and god bless.

[0421]

So start again, I did and each time after that, keep trying to stop, never stop trying to stop, that is the failure of it all. If you fall down get back up don't stay down. Have a post plan, I see a thyapist just someone to talk things out with. good luck and prayers to you, Bethany

[BrotherFrankie]

I dont understand what made me do it... i do.. because u are an addict..

u see, this club has a never ending membership.. bus drivers, dr's, teachers, mom's, dad's, and gasp ... even pastors.. we are all in it for life..

every day is a new day.. u r not abnormal, u r OK...

so, now some type of tools may be needed to maintain sobriety.. a sponsor helps a great deal..

u r loved
brother frankie

[constantbeauty]

Always spoken like a champ.  

Just saying.

[BlueOpiate]

Yup, member for life right here.  That's what I didn't get for a long time.  I thought once you beat WD and stay clean for a month, you win!  No such luck.  This is a life long, never ending game that you can only win the day you die of old age, clean.  It's very easy to lose this game we play, it's always easy to make one wrong move and bam, back to square 1.  Don't beat yourself up.  Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and come up with a plan to quit.  You know what works and what doesn't, you know what to do and what not to do, you know what YOU can do and what you can't do.  You are a vet at this game.  Is tapper a possibility?  Do you have someone who can help you?  CT an option this time around?

[tired61]

Thanks everyone, i never knew that people u have never meet could care soo much. Im starting today and i know its gonna be hard but now i feel like im not alone, and a little less like the failure i feel like. You all are amazing, to reach out to me and practicallly hold my hand. Im gonna try, thats the best i can say at this moment. Im real scared and truthfully i think its more about the issue of facing what ive done after im clean. You know when you think back of yourself and realize what you did. Reality ...thats what im scared of. What made me start this ( really need help76).? I dont know... I mean it couldve been my surrounding my childhood..but then i think its to common to sit and blame everyone else! So i dont know...I had a ****** life, my father commited suicide next to me and was a heavy drug user..I grew up poor and struggling...but thats most everybody having a bad time at some point. So i dont know...Im gonna embrace that question tho and try to find some meaning. Stay with me guy and girls I really need yall! Thanks-shannon

[gnarly_1]

HI......I always hate to read about relapses but in the world of addiction they happen...after we detox we need to remember our addiction dosent just go away....many try and go it alone
without any sort of support system this may work for a wile but rarely works long term once you relize the pills are not the problem but only a symptom of addiction you can begin recovery....it is the very way we think and reason that has to change we need to face off with the demons where running from .....Shannon from your last post I can feel your pain this is probably what your trying to bury hook up with a good substance abuse consolor or start going to N/A and work threw some of this stuff if your willing to face off with some of it this my be your last detox where all here for you dont be scared its always worst in our minds then it turns out to be...go threw it with a positive attitude and a plan for aftercare and youll do fine good luck and God bless......Gnarly