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Avatar universal

Help me help my wife, please

On Sunday I found out my wife has been taking 30+ Vicodin and some Xanax for the past 2 years. She only admitted to it because she was caught stealing the meds from work, (we are both nurses). She claims she has not had any meds since noon Sunday which would give her approx. 40 hours clean right now. My question is that she has neither c/o or displayed any s/s of withdrawal other than diarrhea and feeling cold. I searched her purse/car/coats and all Vicodin/Xanax was disposed of and she claims she has no more.
She was told by work she had to go cold turkey or face prosecution and by me that if she was taking ANYTHING I insisted on knowing regardless of the drug/reason. While she has been compliant with going to NA meetings the last 2 nights and speaking openly to me and answering my questions I suspect she may be medicating. Do her s/s sound harsh enough for withdrawal from the amounts she was taking? Thank you.
18 Responses
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1171174 tn?1263820856
i'd just like to commend you on standing by your wife's side, this ruined my relationship because i was a druggie to him,  i think its amazing that you are there for her  just  hold her and help her  go to meetings with her let her know you will be there and the two  of you will beat this together   best wishes
Helpful - 0
390416 tn?1275185087
Welcome...you are doing a good thing for your wife...she needs your support right now..she's lucky to have you by her side....
I too, am a nurse, and i know the states program can be grueling...anyway ,it is in my state..but it is definately a way to deal with the problem and get some help us to get to the core issues of why we use in the first place....i think that is all part of the process of being able to stay clean.


Glad you're here...keep posting..we're here for you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know you are hurt man but she really needs your love now more than ever.. she has made a mistake and she can recoover.. With your help she can recover so much faster and be a better person on the other side..
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Depression, lethargy and total lack of energy is normal too. Again read the Health Pages near top right
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The spelling post didn't keep me away, we were just out all day seeing a counselor and getting our ducks in a row, so no worries. I do know about the benzos and no cold turkey but she went c/t 2 days before we found out she was on them, nos/s of HTN or seizures at this time so Dr. recommended monitoring at home and no lorazepam for anxiety/withdrawals. She is remarkably calm and serene to the point of depression and I have asked and she has denied any thoughts of harm to self/others or any access to meds. At this time I believe her and know that I either have to trust her or lock her in a room. We are researching inpatient facilities in our area and waiting for our states program for addict nurses to finish their eval (tomorrow) and give us our options which fit into their framework then I think 30 days inpatient would be a big help so she could focus on herself and not keep being reminded of her failures every time she sees me or the kids. Thanks guys.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
We must have the same sponsor,

I was told the same thing, is it kind, is it nesc and is it true ?

But I also found that those who have to correct others also have to have control.

I am in the medical field and I can not spell worth a Cr@@.  That's why I have a franklin/merriam webster portable speller, but if I had to use that ever time I post I would never get to type a word...and get this I write Patient Plan of Care for a living.

Lives to short.


NOW TO IMPORTANT MATTERS.

Anti hippie,

I was doing 40 to 50 norcos 10mg a day and I went c/t and didn't suffer to many w/ds the second time around.  The first time I went c/t I did suffer w/d's so after about a week I picked up again.  the second time I went c/t my w/d's werent to bad, I had hot flashes(my husband thought I was in menopause) and some dirrahea (spelled wrong).  So maybe your wife is off the pills.  My husband was on benzo's and every one is right people should not c/t that stuff.  That should be tapered.  I'm surprised that the hospital doesn't know that about benzo's.  WE went to a DR and put my husband on a taper schedule for his klonopin and it worked.
Every one is right, the hospital staff can be your wifes police, you be her support.
she is probably ashamed about her situation and was afraid at first to come to you.
I did not tell my husband about my habit at first because I was ashamed, and I was afraid he wouldn't love me any more.  Show her you care and stay by her side. She will open up to you.  

Hang in there and tell your wife about this site.

cocobean
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have not seen you back on, please don't take that one post about the spelling and leave...WE want to help you and your wife....I can't spell worth a ****, and can careless when i am on here....Please let us know how things are going
r2r
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I love the way you say you are going to leave the cop stuff to the hospital, and you the helper....
U havn't answered about the xanax...She cannot go off of that c/t....I went off of benzos c/t with no knowledge and had a seizure, it was hell and worst then opiates...
you really need to check into that..
I guess right now you have to trust her, but very good that you are there for her...this forum will help u alot, and when she feels up to it, please tell her to try and get on..She is not alone...I am a good person, mother and wife, but i am an addict...it is nice to know i am not alone
r2r
Helpful - 0
451343 tn?1256250831
wow, i totally agree, in the grand scheme of things, spelling on this forum is the last thing that needs pointed out. this guy and his wife need compassion and support, not a spelling lesson. with that said, hope it wasn't harsh grieving, not trying to bash you. just want people to feel comfortable here. i know when i first came on the forum if someone would have corrected my spelling or grammer i would have felt like a fool and not come back. HOWEVER. to address the hubby, i commend you for standing by your wife and wanting to be her friend instead of cop or persecuter (sp?) i went through something similar that your wife is going through right now. i can tell you she is going to need a lot of love, at the same time trying not to enable her. i feel for her. let her know that i have gone through something similar and she can email me any time. coming on here and seeing that she is not alone is a great idea, so helpful. you are in our prayers. god bless cr_st_na
Helpful - 0
147172 tn?1226758178
Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, does the spelling really matter? I just found it quite silly to even point that out.  Now what happens if he feels foolish or self-conscous and decides not to come back and he misses out on valuable information and advice?

I am a spelling freak as well and while I see tons of mistakes, some common, some not, but if I took the time to correct every one of them, I would be online 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

My sponsor once told me (and I try to practie it) that I should ask myself 3 questions before opening up my mouth.... 1.  Is it true, 2.  is it kind, and 3.  is it neessary?
Helpful - 0
397118 tn?1219762250
I don't think just a little diarrhea and feeling cold are enough symptoms I was using around the same amount of hyddocodone 7.5mg but no xanax and I waited 27 hours before I took my first suboxone and let me tell you I was more than just that I was so bad I even passed out b/c of the chills and pain all over at that point I took my first sub the I was fine. Good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know you say you are a nurse, but FYI - liver "enzymes" "BUN/creatinine".  Sorry, I am a transcriptionist and therefore a spelling freak.  I would not have mentioned it except you state that you a professional and probably with your work it could come in handy to be able to spell the different medical terms.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Welcome and i want you to know that I am offended by  your user name.....lol
I am a Hippie or "Flower Child".

There have been some great posts here and one thing that is very true and her work should know this never should a Benzo user stop Cold Turkey!
Yes stopping Vicodin C/T will be very uncomfortable but won't kill you.

Her work should offer her help, what state are you from there are laws that protect
people with a medical condition addiction should qualify.
Helpful - 0
306455 tn?1288862071
If your wife has been takeing 1 xanax every day for 2 years, she need to taper off them, not cold turkey. The Vics can be done cold turkey. By 48 hours she should be in full withdrawels, day 3 and 4 being the worst. Look into the health pages at the top for the Thomas receipe, it will help her get thru this.Lots of good info there for both of you. You both need to read about PAWS too. And get her on this forum. So many people would not have made it without this forum, she needs to talk with people that really know whats happening, not just physically but mentally. Good luck.
Helpful - 0
306867 tn?1299249709
Your a smart man. That is such a great idea to let them be the cops.  Ask her to come read on the forum.  It really will help her.  Best wishes to you both.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
She states she took 1 Xanax every night for sleep and denies any X2 days, I didn't find out about the Xanax until this evening (30some hours since last) and her VS's mental status has been stable, I understand about the drug testing but I also want my wife to know that I am her husband/friend not persecutor. Her work is going to be drug testing her randomly up to 10X a month so I am going to let them be the cops and I can play helper. Also we are going to get her liver enzimes and a BIN/creatinie clearance drawn next week after her system has cleared to see just how badly she screwed up her sysytem. Thanks for the responses, it is really appreciated.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi there.  Back in the old days when I was only addicted to Vicodin, I know my withdrawal symptoms were not nearly as severe as they are now that I am taking Percocet and Methadone.  So, if she is taking 5 mg Vicodin, that would be like 15 Norco a day.  If she DOES have pretty severe diarrhea and having chills, then she is in withdrawal.  Unless you are willing to have her drug tested, you are probably going to have to take her word for it.  She definitely should be feeling like she has the flu though, and I would think she would have zero energy along with the other symptoms.  Thank God, she was caught before her addiction went to the next level.  I am impressed that her employer is not firing her, she must have been a valued employee before the drugs took over.  Good Luck.  Oh wait, you said she was taking Xanax but did not say how much - well I am sure you know that it is not good to go cold turkey off of a benzodiazepine?  Hopefully, she wasn't taking that many Xanax - that would be bad.

Love, Cindy
Helpful - 0
306867 tn?1299249709
Hey, welcome to the forum. The first thing I need to tell you should never go cold turkey off xanax. It is very, very dangerous !  She could have seisures or stroke. Is your wife sleeping ?  At this point she should have all the flu like symptoms and RLS.  I'm pretty sure drug stores sell drug test. You could have her take one in two more days. 4 days should be enough to get the Vic's out of her system. So sorry your having to go through this . This addiction is an awful . Can you have your wife come on the forum.  It really will help her. There are so many great people here and she will see she is not alone in this.  Keep reading and posting.
Helpful - 0
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