Aa
Help me please. I think my boyfriend is doing drugs.
I know this is very long but please read this I need help!
I am having a lot of trouble here and need an outsider's opinion on this. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now but have known him much longer. He was always very carefree, lived day by day, never seemed to care about himself or anyone else. He was almost reckless. He went thru a phase where he drank heavily everyday with his best friend. He would drink to the point where he would black out, drive home, wake up, go to school, and do it all over again. He continued this pattern for over a month. He also went thru a brief period of cocaine use. I think he only used cocaine a handful of times but it is still a huge deal to me. He then got into doing pills (crushing and snorting them) which became a problem for him. This took place around the beginning of our relationship. He recently finished a methadone program and to my knowledge has been clean. He was also selling drugs (I don't know what) around 2 months ago but stopped because I threatened to leave him if he didn't.
I am now highly suspicious that he is using heroin. This is killing me. I am losing sleep and have no motivation at all to do everyday things, which is so opposite of how I normally am. I am so unlike my boyfriend. I am anti-drugs. I occasionally will drink at a party. I've smoked pot but hate the stuff, it makes me bug out. Drugs scare the **** out of me and I hate everything that has to do with them. This is making me so worried and I'm really terrified about what could happen if this is true.
I truly believe that he has been injecting himself with heroin. I've felt this way for about a week now. It's not just one thing, it's several factors that just add up in my mind. For one, his friends are all scum bags. I hate them. They are grimy. There have been rumors in my circle of friends that the guys he hangs out with have been doing heroin. I have heard this several times from my closest friends.
I became suspicious one night at his house when he spent a long time in the bathroom. He told me he was taking a **** and I was standing outside the door because he asked me to come talk to him. When I was talking to him I felt like something wasn't right, I just had a gut feeling. I remember him telling me that when he would do pills he'd go into the bathroom and I wouldn't know. While I was taking to him he asked me to go get him a q-tip because "he had something in his ear." When I brought it to the door he opened it and was completely dressed. Then after a little while longer he told me I could go away because he was going to start making noises. I just felt like this was very odd because in the past he would just go to the bathroom with the door open and not even care. When he came out he seemed to be acting very weird. I heard him rummaging in his room in a plastic bag and when I came in he asked me to get out and yelled when I wouldn't. He said it was because he didn't want me to know where his money was but he NEVER had a problem with that before because I am completely trustworthy and he knows that. He appeared to be acting very odd and seemed high but I never like to jump to conclusions. He had difficulty counting his money and remembering numbers which is never a problem for him. The next morning before he left for work I heard him rummage in another plastic bag before going to the bathroom and spending a lot of time in the bathroom again.
That night I went thru the same sort of thing except I was outside with some of his sister's friends so I am not sure how long he was in the bathroom for. He told me he'd be out in a little while and when he came outside he seemed high again. He also took a hit off a blunt which is a red flag to me because I know he ONLY smokes weed when he is ****** up because he hates it and bugs out. He appeared sweaty, very tired, and I noticed he had trouble urinating. The next morning I heard him rummaging in that bag and clanking around in the bathroom. He thought I was half asleep and wouldn't notice. After he left for work I did some snooping and found syringes in that bag. One or two were used and there was also a q-tip. In the bathroom I found a folded up picture (which I took) with white powder on the back next to a cup. I also found a belt on the floor which was all wound up tight.
When I confronted him about the needles he told me they were his friends. He told me a few days before that he was holding needles and steroids for his friend and even showed them to me. The ones I found were in a different spot and he told me he didn't want to hide them all together. This honestly did not convince me.
Over the past week I noticed him seem high once and I also noticed a couple times that he had vaseline on the crooks of his arms. He is tired all the time, which isn't unusual because he works very early in the morning everyday, but it does seem that he is sleeping more than normal. He also refuses to cut his hair. This could be nothing but of course with everything else it worries me. As far as our relationship goes he is completely normal, treats me well, and nothing has changed.
Today I got around to testing the substance I found in his bathroom. I used an at home test I bought at a drug store. According to the test it is heroin that I found. For me this was like total confirmation that all my suspicions were true. I tried to talk to him but I am getting nothing out of him. I told him I am not trying to argue, I am not mad, I am just trying to talk. I told him I know the truth, it's right in front of my face, that I found heroin in his bathroom. I even showed him the test but he just denies, denies, denies. He claims the heroin must belong to one of his sisters friends who were at the house that night. He even showed me a mark on his arm and told me he scraped himself with something at work. I don't know what a needle mark looks like really so I couldn't argue that. I told him over and over that I know the truth and I don't believe him and I wish he would stop lying but he tells me he's not doing anything, and "thank you for caring so much but nothing is wrong and the conversation is over."
I just don't know what to do. Even thought I am so sure in my mind that he is using heroin there is still the tiniest part that believes him. After writing this whole thing out I feel that I am stupid to believe what he tells me. How do I get him to confess? I don't want to break up with him. I just want to know what's going on and I deserve to know the truth. I need him to admit this to me so I can know that I am not crazy and so that I can help him. I am so scared because I know the risks that come with using heroin. Do you agree that I am not a psycho, I am not making this up in my mind, that this is for real? How can I get him to admit this to me? He has had a hard time talking to me about drugs because I just don't understand because I have never been there. Should I try being more compassionate and understanding? Or should I be more assertive and tell him not to talk to me unless he plans on telling me the truth because I just can't take this anymore? Any type of advice would help here really. Thank you so much if you read all of this.
I am having a lot of trouble here and need an outsider's opinion on this. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now but have known him much longer. He was always very carefree, lived day by day, never seemed to care about himself or anyone else. He was almost reckless. He went thru a phase where he drank heavily everyday with his best friend. He would drink to the point where he would black out, drive home, wake up, go to school, and do it all over again. He continued this pattern for over a month. He also went thru a brief period of cocaine use. I think he only used cocaine a handful of times but it is still a huge deal to me. He then got into doing pills (crushing and snorting them) which became a problem for him. This took place around the beginning of our relationship. He recently finished a methadone program and to my knowledge has been clean. He was also selling drugs (I don't know what) around 2 months ago but stopped because I threatened to leave him if he didn't.
I am now highly suspicious that he is using heroin. This is killing me. I am losing sleep and have no motivation at all to do everyday things, which is so opposite of how I normally am. I am so unlike my boyfriend. I am anti-drugs. I occasionally will drink at a party. I've smoked pot but hate the stuff, it makes me bug out. Drugs scare the **** out of me and I hate everything that has to do with them. This is making me so worried and I'm really terrified about what could happen if this is true.
I truly believe that he has been injecting himself with heroin. I've felt this way for about a week now. It's not just one thing, it's several factors that just add up in my mind. For one, his friends are all scum bags. I hate them. They are grimy. There have been rumors in my circle of friends that the guys he hangs out with have been doing heroin. I have heard this several times from my closest friends.
I became suspicious one night at his house when he spent a long time in the bathroom. He told me he was taking a **** and I was standing outside the door because he asked me to come talk to him. When I was talking to him I felt like something wasn't right, I just had a gut feeling. I remember him telling me that when he would do pills he'd go into the bathroom and I wouldn't know. While I was taking to him he asked me to go get him a q-tip because "he had something in his ear." When I brought it to the door he opened it and was completely dressed. Then after a little while longer he told me I could go away because he was going to start making noises. I just felt like this was very odd because in the past he would just go to the bathroom with the door open and not even care. When he came out he seemed to be acting very weird. I heard him rummaging in his room in a plastic bag and when I came in he asked me to get out and yelled when I wouldn't. He said it was because he didn't want me to know where his money was but he NEVER had a problem with that before because I am completely trustworthy and he knows that. He appeared to be acting very odd and seemed high but I never like to jump to conclusions. He had difficulty counting his money and remembering numbers which is never a problem for him. The next morning before he left for work I heard him rummage in another plastic bag before going to the bathroom and spending a lot of time in the bathroom again.
That night I went thru the same sort of thing except I was outside with some of his sister's friends so I am not sure how long he was in the bathroom for. He told me he'd be out in a little while and when he came outside he seemed high again. He also took a hit off a blunt which is a red flag to me because I know he ONLY smokes weed when he is ****** up because he hates it and bugs out. He appeared sweaty, very tired, and I noticed he had trouble urinating. The next morning I heard him rummaging in that bag and clanking around in the bathroom. He thought I was half asleep and wouldn't notice. After he left for work I did some snooping and found syringes in that bag. One or two were used and there was also a q-tip. In the bathroom I found a folded up picture (which I took) with white powder on the back next to a cup. I also found a belt on the floor which was all wound up tight.
When I confronted him about the needles he told me they were his friends. He told me a few days before that he was holding needles and steroids for his friend and even showed them to me. The ones I found were in a different spot and he told me he didn't want to hide them all together. This honestly did not convince me.
Over the past week I noticed him seem high once and I also noticed a couple times that he had vaseline on the crooks of his arms. He is tired all the time, which isn't unusual because he works very early in the morning everyday, but it does seem that he is sleeping more than normal. He also refuses to cut his hair. This could be nothing but of course with everything else it worries me. As far as our relationship goes he is completely normal, treats me well, and nothing has changed.
Today I got around to testing the substance I found in his bathroom. I used an at home test I bought at a drug store. According to the test it is heroin that I found. For me this was like total confirmation that all my suspicions were true. I tried to talk to him but I am getting nothing out of him. I told him I am not trying to argue, I am not mad, I am just trying to talk. I told him I know the truth, it's right in front of my face, that I found heroin in his bathroom. I even showed him the test but he just denies, denies, denies. He claims the heroin must belong to one of his sisters friends who were at the house that night. He even showed me a mark on his arm and told me he scraped himself with something at work. I don't know what a needle mark looks like really so I couldn't argue that. I told him over and over that I know the truth and I don't believe him and I wish he would stop lying but he tells me he's not doing anything, and "thank you for caring so much but nothing is wrong and the conversation is over."
I just don't know what to do. Even thought I am so sure in my mind that he is using heroin there is still the tiniest part that believes him. After writing this whole thing out I feel that I am stupid to believe what he tells me. How do I get him to confess? I don't want to break up with him. I just want to know what's going on and I deserve to know the truth. I need him to admit this to me so I can know that I am not crazy and so that I can help him. I am so scared because I know the risks that come with using heroin. Do you agree that I am not a psycho, I am not making this up in my mind, that this is for real? How can I get him to admit this to me? He has had a hard time talking to me about drugs because I just don't understand because I have never been there. Should I try being more compassionate and understanding? Or should I be more assertive and tell him not to talk to me unless he plans on telling me the truth because I just can't take this anymore? Any type of advice would help here really. Thank you so much if you read all of this.
So this guy I have been dating /friends with for a really long time I believe is using something. About 5 years ago he was addicted to pain meds which started when he just about cut his finger off .. Since then he said he is clean he said he went through the terrible withdraws but he's clean now and would never use again.. But here lately he just doesn't seem right he sweats a lot while eating or pretty much doing nothing and he looks really tired . I confronted him about taking any pain meds and he got very upset with me saying no he doesn't take anything. I just don't know how to exactly know if he is using .. Help me please he makes me feel like I'm going crazy
I noticed these posts are from a little over 3yrs ago...I'm just curious how this story has played out, because for the past yr I have been in the exact predicament with my boyfriend and have been his primary support system, I loved him too much & couldn't imagine not sticking by the man I love when he needed me most. I am NOW currently choosing to walk away... he has since turned on me after making this decision, by stealing from me (2 flatscreen TV's, one of which belonged to my 11yr old son, a ps3 that I later found at a pawn shop & had to purchase back) These are only a few items of the many. His excuse for his behaviors is that he believes I am sneaking men in my house at times when he is sleeping & has actually chased "men" out of my yard & placed recording devices in my house/car & forced me to listen & explain myself....there was nothing to be heard but silence & static. I guess I'm curious if this woman had any different outcome...if her love for him made a difference in his addiction.
I can answer some of that....
I found a crack pipe under my husbands dresser the night of our wedding. He told me it belonged t someone else and he was going to destroy it. I then found baking soda and torn steel wool pads under the seat of his car and fragments all over. He said...he was going to do some but never did...He was tearful and crying and saying he was proud of himself for not using, etc....I belived him again....
THEN....In his room at his moms house, in the trashcan....I found A torn in half beer can with lighter marks on one side and a white pasty substance on the other side, which was confirmed to be coke./baking sods...i.e. crack....
LATER...I asked him about it and he said he didnt know what I was talking about....Yelling....Then he said he had only done it once....He then blamed me for being untrusting and causing problems, gave my wedding ring back and packed his thing and left.
This man has DEVISTATED my life. I wish I would have broken up with him a year ago when he gave me numerous opportunities. I have 3 jobs and work so hard I cant stand up...he works 1 job and claims to never have any money to help pay bills...there are things missing from my home which cannot be explained. A Laptop (which he says he stepped on) I bought him a 300.00 pair of sunglasses for christmas...they were "broken" as well. Both of our family cameras are missing....even my kids psp she got for Christmas....gone....Im such a fool...
I found a crack pipe under my husbands dresser the night of our wedding. He told me it belonged t someone else and he was going to destroy it. I then found baking soda and torn steel wool pads under the seat of his car and fragments all over. He said...he was going to do some but never did...He was tearful and crying and saying he was proud of himself for not using, etc....I belived him again....
THEN....In his room at his moms house, in the trashcan....I found A torn in half beer can with lighter marks on one side and a white pasty substance on the other side, which was confirmed to be coke./baking sods...i.e. crack....
LATER...I asked him about it and he said he didnt know what I was talking about....Yelling....Then he said he had only done it once....He then blamed me for being untrusting and causing problems, gave my wedding ring back and packed his thing and left.
This man has DEVISTATED my life. I wish I would have broken up with him a year ago when he gave me numerous opportunities. I have 3 jobs and work so hard I cant stand up...he works 1 job and claims to never have any money to help pay bills...there are things missing from my home which cannot be explained. A Laptop (which he says he stepped on) I bought him a 300.00 pair of sunglasses for christmas...they were "broken" as well. Both of our family cameras are missing....even my kids psp she got for Christmas....gone....Im such a fool...
Hi there! I k ow this forum is 3 years old, but I came upon it because I beleive I might be in a silimar predicament. Jenny, I was just wondering, since its 3 years later, how did everything work out with you too? Our situations at this point are almost identical.
My biggest concern is that I have NO idea how to confront my boyfriend and ask him if he is using again. I'm very much aware of the fact of how difficult breaching this subject will be at first, and I just want to get through it without causing him to be upset with me or anything. I would be more upset with him if he was hiding this from me than anything else.
Lately he's been very sweaty, and tired. He also disappears to the bathroom for extended periods of time at least 2 or 3 times a day. He disappeared into the bathroom a lot when we first started dating before he came out and told me he had been using. He stopped for about 2 months or so, but he's doing it again. That's really what's rasing a red flag the most for me.
How on earth do I ask him if he's using again? What if he actually isn't and I'm just being paranoid? Could I be wrong?
If anyone could just help me out, that would be fantastic. Please...
My biggest concern is that I have NO idea how to confront my boyfriend and ask him if he is using again. I'm very much aware of the fact of how difficult breaching this subject will be at first, and I just want to get through it without causing him to be upset with me or anything. I would be more upset with him if he was hiding this from me than anything else.
Lately he's been very sweaty, and tired. He also disappears to the bathroom for extended periods of time at least 2 or 3 times a day. He disappeared into the bathroom a lot when we first started dating before he came out and told me he had been using. He stopped for about 2 months or so, but he's doing it again. That's really what's rasing a red flag the most for me.
How on earth do I ask him if he's using again? What if he actually isn't and I'm just being paranoid? Could I be wrong?
If anyone could just help me out, that would be fantastic. Please...
I was heartbroken that my husband moved in with another woman so I had a spell to bring him back home and stop the affair he had with her. In just 2days he left her and went to live at the motel. He called to say so and get news of the kids. The discussion was pleasant, as if he was changing to become the man I knew when we got married. It was exactly as you said…. Now he’s back home and is absolutely crazy about me. I am so thrilled by this spell that I cant find the right words to say how I feel right now. All I can decently say is that you changed my life and saved the most important thing in my life: my family, way to contact my savior is ***@****.
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