Help required

[Findmywayback]

Hello to everyone who took the trouble to read this. Lately I've been feeling great fears in relation to my former alcohol abuse. That's right: I say former, because after what happened last time, I am never drinking again!

Okay, so here's my story: I've always been a depressed person and in the last year or so I really let myself go, with drinking (before that, from about age 18 I had the odd glass or two, but it didn't control my life.): monthly and sometimes weekly a lot, never anything too strong, mostly beer: like four or five cans a night.
Funny thing was: I didn't believe I had a problem and thought I was in control... turns out I wasn't, cause after I majorly let myself go during the holidays, I felt different in my head. It's been almost two months now and it's really scary, because my mind seems blank during the day, my short term memory went to hell and I have trouble focusing on new things. It's like I'm not even human anymore. Some days I feel like it's even getting worse.

Another thing that really troubles me is that I'm still young: just 21 and I feel handicapped. My family also doesnt seem to understand the seriousness of the situation. I already had a ct-scan and it was negative, but I didn't tell the doctors everything, out of shame and fear.

I used to be very smart and now I feel like I've thrown it all away. The really sad part is that I've tried to quit twice before it was too late, but as soon as I got confronted with the 'evil' liquid, I couldn't help myself.

But on to my main question: can anybody ( preferably around the same age as me) reassure me even a little, from experience? Like, do you get even slightly better with long-term sobriety? I'm already doing my utmost: like taking vitamins, eating healthy, drinking water, sleeping enough... but then I feel like: is there still a point? Please, please help!

[avik7]

You def get better! I had depression something awful. I went thru post partum depression with psychosis. I was on an antipsychotic, antidepressants, and anti anxiety meds. I was also self medicating with opiates and I drank. I was 23 at the time. I started using at the age of 13 at that point my drug of choice was cocaine and pot. But started getting hooked on pills at age of 15. My addiction was really bad around the age of 20. I was able to quit when I got pregnant bc I had 2 miscarriages and inwas afraid the drugs would cause something to happen. But as soon as I had my son I was back to square run (yes I know I was a pos) when I was on all those anti-meds (psychotic, depressants, and anxiety) and taking pills and drinking I was a ******* zombie. I couldn't remember **** and I could care less if I was dead in a ditch. I ended up in rehab 5 1/2 yes ago and got my **** together. They put me on suboxone and i was able to be a contributing member of society. I went to counceling  and an opiate recovery group and worked on myself. That was the main thing. Working out all the crazy wacked out **** that I believed to be reality. I'm now 9 days off Suboxone (which some say is just another drug although it helped me tremendously). I feel so good. I beat my depression and my major anxiety issues I do not take any type of meds anymore. I worked my *** off and it paid off. I've never felt more clear minded and level headed in my life. It's quite bizarre but amazing. I will continue aftercare for a long while now that I'm off suboxone. I will see my individual councelor and continue my opiate recovery group. Getting off your doc is a big part but staying sober is the bigger picture. You can do it and you will feel better. Just work it really hard. Anything Is possible!! Stay on here and post post post when your feeling weak, powerless, or just have questions!! You can do it. Your young and could have a fulfilling life ahead of you. I'm only 29 and so glad I got it together!!

[WantToBeBetter]

Look up PAWS. It happens when you quit drinking and memory loss is part of it.  You will get better absolutely. Look that up. Best of luck. You will be feeling great in no time.

[NeverAgain127]

Yes, of course it gets better.

That being said, it only gets better if you don't start drinking again.

Please, please consider going to AA.   Your chances of staying sober w/o a support group are slim. Not impossible, but also not probable.

There are tons of AA groups out there...you may have to a dozen before you find one that suits you.  But consider it.

Also, the problems with your memory concern me.  Please tell your doctor about it, and this time, 'fess up. You're an adult now, and part of being sober is to take responsibility for your actions.   There is no shame in having an alcohol problem...and your physician will be impressed that you want to STOP.

Good luck honey.  You might want to post on the Alcohol Forum also.

Hugs,
-Robin

[kellygirll]

absolutley positively it does get better with long term sobriety I'm not sure what happened to you I'm not quite understanding it but yes sobriety makes everything better and you are still so young just a baby and haven't been using for that long you have such an advantage there and from what you describe it will only get worse i think you should come clean to your family and attend AA meetings the sooner you  nip this in the bud the BETTER i promise you best of luck to you!! xoxo