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Help w/OC addiction
Hey Guys,
My girlfriend has pretty much gotten me addicted to oxy Contins. We've been snorting like 2 80mgs a day for about I dunno almost a year now. I'm starting to feel like total garbage when I don't do them. She has been doing them a lot longer than me. I don't really have any interest in doing them any more - they are expensive and I've read stories that are disturbing about people dying etc. The ****** thing is I can't get ANYTHING done when I don't have them. I can't work, which I gotta do, with out them.
My question for this forum - whats the best way to quit without losing all my motivation to live and second, how the hell can I get my girlfriend off this ****? She wants to quit, but the addiction is quite shockingly strong. We need some kinda plan or help.
The problems with OCs are that they are highly available on the street, semi legal, and you can go out in public and perform daily tasks while on them. Take a look at Paula from American Idol. Looking into her eyes is like looking at my gf - she's wacked but still a productive member of socicet.
As opposed to something like cocaine where there is no way in hell you can go to work or be in public, see your parents, straight friends, etc, OCs allow you to live a semi-normal lifestyle while you're addicted. This makes them especially dangerous in my opinion.
Ugh, someone plz help me - at the time I'm of writing this I'm only 24 hours with out them and - MY GOD - I feel like jumping off a bridge. uuugh. I'm a 25 year old college educated male btw.
My girlfriend has pretty much gotten me addicted to oxy Contins. We've been snorting like 2 80mgs a day for about I dunno almost a year now. I'm starting to feel like total garbage when I don't do them. She has been doing them a lot longer than me. I don't really have any interest in doing them any more - they are expensive and I've read stories that are disturbing about people dying etc. The ****** thing is I can't get ANYTHING done when I don't have them. I can't work, which I gotta do, with out them.
My question for this forum - whats the best way to quit without losing all my motivation to live and second, how the hell can I get my girlfriend off this ****? She wants to quit, but the addiction is quite shockingly strong. We need some kinda plan or help.
The problems with OCs are that they are highly available on the street, semi legal, and you can go out in public and perform daily tasks while on them. Take a look at Paula from American Idol. Looking into her eyes is like looking at my gf - she's wacked but still a productive member of socicet.
As opposed to something like cocaine where there is no way in hell you can go to work or be in public, see your parents, straight friends, etc, OCs allow you to live a semi-normal lifestyle while you're addicted. This makes them especially dangerous in my opinion.
Ugh, someone plz help me - at the time I'm of writing this I'm only 24 hours with out them and - MY GOD - I feel like jumping off a bridge. uuugh. I'm a 25 year old college educated male btw.
My employee (Pat) an I became close "friends", and also business partners. The important ting to know in business is that "you can't build a house on a sand foundation", it's great that you are working so hard a getting things going (trust me I know exactly what you mean about all of the work) it's an extremly challenging process and it will take so so so much to get things going, but the rewards are great! You really need to quit this drug before you get this thing off the ground though, once you get incorporated and you start having to work 100 hrs a week and then do paperwork when you get home, you will quickly lose all of that motivation that you are getting from the drug(this is why my habit got so bad so fast, I needed to do more and more to keep myself going), also you will end up spending more time tyring to find the drugs, and stopping at the ATM than on the jobsite ot whatever your scope of business is, then you will have to work until 3 in the morning to get the same amount done. That's the thing about this drug it gets to the point that you HAVE to have it or you are unable to work, and your clients are sitting there wondering where you are and what's wrong with you. Not to mention over time you will start to spend your profits, and you'll notice that if you had $20,000 in profit one month you will have say $17,000 and so on because you are unable to stay on the job long enough to get anything done. You may feel motivated, but really look at the amount of work you get done....it's less because you are just kindof moving really quickly, and feel that you are sooo aware, but you realise that you are jsut making noise and not getting things done. Not to mention you end up spending everything you have saved over 4 years( a hefty chunk of $$$).
Back to Pat, yes he did give me the needle, but I stuck it in, I was sick for 2 days and couldn't take it anymore, he bough 2 80's, but I wasn;t around he planned to do them both then he felt bad that i was still sick and he was feeling better, so he called me and told me he had already loaded it up (in a new "dart" he called them) and if I wanted to do it I'd either have to drink it and just shoot it. I went over to his house thought about (while sick) for about 10 minutes and then i decided "we'll I'll just do it this once because I'm so sick", and I did only do it that once....for awhile. A month or two went by I got into a fight with my g/f and said screw it, loaded up an 80 in a syringe and shot it, the first time I only did half of it, so this was much......different. After that I was totally hopeless with the addiction I became addicted to the needle as well as the oxi, and my life shattered on down from there.
Looking back on it I was slowly losing my business right from the start of the addiction, i thought i was getting so much more work done, and at first i was, but that won'y last forever, and you will find that the "benifits" start going away more quickly than they came, and it will just distroy anything and everything you have made for yourself.
One more tip on business before I head to the jobsite and play Daddy again, "never burn a bridge" you have to just bite your tounge sometimes and it hurts, but you have to. Sometimes people will try to not pay you, sometimes you can take them to court and win, and sometimes it's not worth it, it's just a fact in business that you will get burned at one point or anything, and you have to learn to just eat it. Another thing I would say is in an industry you have to be very honest...to your self...and to your clients, and to be a good leader you must lead by example. Just a couple common sense tips.
Good Luck with everything! Let us know what you decide.
Back to Pat, yes he did give me the needle, but I stuck it in, I was sick for 2 days and couldn't take it anymore, he bough 2 80's, but I wasn;t around he planned to do them both then he felt bad that i was still sick and he was feeling better, so he called me and told me he had already loaded it up (in a new "dart" he called them) and if I wanted to do it I'd either have to drink it and just shoot it. I went over to his house thought about (while sick) for about 10 minutes and then i decided "we'll I'll just do it this once because I'm so sick", and I did only do it that once....for awhile. A month or two went by I got into a fight with my g/f and said screw it, loaded up an 80 in a syringe and shot it, the first time I only did half of it, so this was much......different. After that I was totally hopeless with the addiction I became addicted to the needle as well as the oxi, and my life shattered on down from there.
Looking back on it I was slowly losing my business right from the start of the addiction, i thought i was getting so much more work done, and at first i was, but that won'y last forever, and you will find that the "benifits" start going away more quickly than they came, and it will just distroy anything and everything you have made for yourself.
One more tip on business before I head to the jobsite and play Daddy again, "never burn a bridge" you have to just bite your tounge sometimes and it hurts, but you have to. Sometimes people will try to not pay you, sometimes you can take them to court and win, and sometimes it's not worth it, it's just a fact in business that you will get burned at one point or anything, and you have to learn to just eat it. Another thing I would say is in an industry you have to be very honest...to your self...and to your clients, and to be a good leader you must lead by example. Just a couple common sense tips.
Good Luck with everything! Let us know what you decide.
The blame for getting addicted is our own and so is the job of getting clean. That said, here you will find support, good advice and people who honestly care about you and your recovery. Keep posting and reading and know that you can do this. Read the health pages and try to stay as active as you can because excersise really helps with a lot of the w/d symptoms and it also helps keep the mind busy. Good luck and God bless
I have to agree with Twist on this that you got yourself addicted. I'm sure your girlfriend wasn't holding a gun to your head everytime you snorted a pill.
Forget about that and work on getting yourself clean. It won't be easy if you have someone around using when your trying to stop.
Jules
Forget about that and work on getting yourself clean. It won't be easy if you have someone around using when your trying to stop.
Jules
Hi Twist.
First off thanks for sharing that very personal story with me. You are exactly right, I say to myself now - IV use... yeah right that would never happen to me, but then again there was a few time that my gf and I could not get OC's and we settle for black tar herion. That is something I was sure I would never do... but look at what I was doing... sitting in the bathroom with a spoon. Disgusting...
You story is shocking and moving and truer words have never been spoken. The part about your mom sitting next to you in the hospital definitaly strikes some major chords with me - I would DIE if my mom saw me at my lowest. It gets the water works flowing just thinking about it.
Secondly, for the past couple years I've been working on starting a business. I have a partner, who is like my brother, and he has no idea about my addiction. I've given everything in my life to this business, every ounce of energy and every dollar I made, and if I were to continue on this path I'm pretty sure I'd be throwing it all away, and I can't even begin to think about that without losing it.
You guys are also right about placing blame. I know I started my plea with an accusatory statement about my gf doing this to me. That is just immature and I'm only fooling myself by saying that. No one is responsible for this but me. If I really cared about my relationship even more of a reason for me to take charge of this crappy situtation and doing something about it for my girlfriends sake more than anything.
Reading my own words its really becoming apparent what I need to do. I was on the fence when I first posted, I really like doing this drug, I can work all night long and the sex with my gf on it is INSANELY bomb - those are really the two things I"ll miss most, but its really not worth it.
So how did your employee get you even further into this world? Was he the one that showed you how to inject it? Again Thanks for sharing with me. I appreciate these words coming from a unbiased source, as opposed to some tv commercial.
Thank you guys so much. I will keep you updated with my experience tomorrow.
This forum is great, I'm so glad I discovered it.
First off thanks for sharing that very personal story with me. You are exactly right, I say to myself now - IV use... yeah right that would never happen to me, but then again there was a few time that my gf and I could not get OC's and we settle for black tar herion. That is something I was sure I would never do... but look at what I was doing... sitting in the bathroom with a spoon. Disgusting...
You story is shocking and moving and truer words have never been spoken. The part about your mom sitting next to you in the hospital definitaly strikes some major chords with me - I would DIE if my mom saw me at my lowest. It gets the water works flowing just thinking about it.
Secondly, for the past couple years I've been working on starting a business. I have a partner, who is like my brother, and he has no idea about my addiction. I've given everything in my life to this business, every ounce of energy and every dollar I made, and if I were to continue on this path I'm pretty sure I'd be throwing it all away, and I can't even begin to think about that without losing it.
You guys are also right about placing blame. I know I started my plea with an accusatory statement about my gf doing this to me. That is just immature and I'm only fooling myself by saying that. No one is responsible for this but me. If I really cared about my relationship even more of a reason for me to take charge of this crappy situtation and doing something about it for my girlfriends sake more than anything.
Reading my own words its really becoming apparent what I need to do. I was on the fence when I first posted, I really like doing this drug, I can work all night long and the sex with my gf on it is INSANELY bomb - those are really the two things I"ll miss most, but its really not worth it.
So how did your employee get you even further into this world? Was he the one that showed you how to inject it? Again Thanks for sharing with me. I appreciate these words coming from a unbiased source, as opposed to some tv commercial.
Thank you guys so much. I will keep you updated with my experience tomorrow.
This forum is great, I'm so glad I discovered it.
I thought I would share my story with you in hopes of making you quit now while you can. I've been sitting here thinking about when I was in your shoes, and what I wouldv'e thought about if someone had shared this story. So here goes....I was new in business 2 years when i hurt my back....I went to the doctor and the pills just got more and more strong vicodin-percs-roxi's-oxi's. I new nothing about pain pills before this. For a long time I just took what was perscribed. Eventually one of my employee's ask me for one, I gave it to him thinking nothing out it. I found out later he was an addict, he got me hooked up with his guy. At this point I was taking 2 80's a day. My girlfriend started noticing things and called me out on it. I didn't quit when i could have. a year and a half later I started shooting oxi's which I told myself NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I DO THAT, but I did, I'm sure you will tell yourself the same, but trust me things happen. My addiction quickly got so much worse2 80's became 4 on the weekend, then 4 everyday, 4 80's became 6 and so on until i got to an average of about 9 or 10 an day sometimes 13 sometimes 12. It got so bad that I lost my company as stated above and my girlfriend. I was spending $500 a day. I ended up in the hospital because my body just shut down, the ambulance and the whole nine yards. When I got there they told me that I have TB, then they thought menengitus sorry for the spelling on that. I had none of them i spent 21 days in the hospital in a clean room with doctors coming in, in biosuit looks costumes. In the end I found out they thought I had TB because with the amount of the amount of oxi I was injecting into my blood I was getting some of the chemicals building in my lungs. While i was there my mother stayed at the hospital she flew 1300 miles....she never left she would cry every single day thinking I may die( that jsut gave me goosebumps) I was on morphine, a fentnyl patch, and some otehr stuff they shot in me to keep me calm. even with the morphine i was sick the entire time. This stuff happens man....I'm telling you it really does and it will wreck you life so fast you will not know what hits you. When you think it's over it's not I have migranes 5 days out of 7 not sure if it's from the oxi but it started immediatly after I was in the hospital, the pills stripped my personality away, I just never feel the same, and may never again, I worry all the time I'm obsessive about everything my work, my house, everything. This stuff is serious and not something to play with. This is my story, and I hope it gives you a jult and tells you I need to quit. If you're saying i would never get that bad I swear to you that i lied to myself the same exact way looking at Pat my employee. I SWEAR TO YOU IT WILL HAPPEN I don't know how to make it any more crystal clear to you....it will get you in the end quit now please.
you got yourself addicted not your girlfriend. and if you don't quit now you WILL lose everything that I promise you. I was addicted to OC's myself (8-11 80's/day IV use) I'm not trying to put you down, but you need to stop right now. It won't THAT bad coming off 2 80's, you'll lose 3-4 nights sleep and feel crappy for a week or two but it's worth it. You may think you can control it....I did......but you will learn as I did that you cannot. I lost a business, a girlfriend of 6 years, and much much more, and you will lose what you have. Please stop....for your own sake.
Its kind of nice to know there are other people struggling with this problem. Flamingogirl - at first my initial reaction to your post was "Wow you're lucky your husband has a script" but after consideration I guess that is going to make it harder on you guys and more tempting. For me and my girlfriend to get them we need to hit the streets and pay 50-80 bucks for an 80mg oc. This is definitaly going to make it easier for us to stop and is a motivating factor. I looked at the "Thomas Recipie". It sounds like an interesting idea but is kind of in depth. I think I should be ok with the weening/tapering plan. I've received an offer from someone on this board to help me develop a plan, and I will I think I will take their offer. I dont really know anyone that I can trust in telling my problem - my friends smoke weed and drink but think OCs are the dirtiest drug out there and consider ppl that do them akin to crack heads or heroin addicts.
I'm going to start my first day of recovering tomorrow. Woo hoo - I'm really looking forward to this. I wish I had the luxury of taking a week off work, but I have to tuff it out I guess. Thanks again guys for the support.
I'm going to start my first day of recovering tomorrow. Woo hoo - I'm really looking forward to this. I wish I had the luxury of taking a week off work, but I have to tuff it out I guess. Thanks again guys for the support.
hey i am in the exact boat as you accept my husband got me addicted to ocs i snort 3 40mgs a day a little les than you, but im trying to wean down by i only taking 2 20mgs and a couple perks so far it hasnt been bad until today my husband ran out of his script and i was trapped at work wiht nothing. omg im still at work i work 12-9 so i feel horrible. my coworker got me some xanex and that helped calm me down a lot bc my anxiety was through the roof. i dont know this is really hard. i would suggest you try to taper if you have the willpower it is really hard but i have my husband hold my supply but he takes way more than me and he always ends up runnin gout but he wont let me hold onto them bc they r his pills. this addiction **** ***** i too went through a slight coke addiciotn i snorted coke eveery day almost for a year but once i was ready to stop i did and it wasnt hard at all but these pills are the hardest things i have ever dealt with. iw ish you luck. you need to sit down with ur gf and have a long talk with her and u both need to really want to stop and support each other though this? is there anyone u trust who can dole out the pills to you and ur gf?
I am right there with you. I have been able to live a very productive life while on Oc's vics for 4 years. Both my hubby and I are addicted. I am going to get clean now and he will when I am a week clean or can get at least two days off of work. We have kids so one of us has to function well.
I planned a light week for work, still being a bit of a slacker. I gave myself one week to get totally clean. I was snorting about the same as you, I would also get oxycodone and v'a. I just snorted to oc's. So this is day two of my detox and it ***** a bit but i will be done. I ate about 20mg oc and two v's yesterday. I had a hard night of runs and aches, I got the Thomas stuff and have only taken one dose. No big dif yet. I have lowered the aquaifer with all the hot baths that i have taken. That seems to have helped. Today I had a tiny bit of oc and 2 v's I will take one more v today and one about 3am. My plan is just to have 3 v's tomorrow and 2 thurs one friday and none sat. We will see, I stopped snorting two days ago. I will let you know how my sucess goes. Good luck take it slow and easy put life on hold for a week. Besides it is really crappy in WA right now
I planned a light week for work, still being a bit of a slacker. I gave myself one week to get totally clean. I was snorting about the same as you, I would also get oxycodone and v'a. I just snorted to oc's. So this is day two of my detox and it ***** a bit but i will be done. I ate about 20mg oc and two v's yesterday. I had a hard night of runs and aches, I got the Thomas stuff and have only taken one dose. No big dif yet. I have lowered the aquaifer with all the hot baths that i have taken. That seems to have helped. Today I had a tiny bit of oc and 2 v's I will take one more v today and one about 3am. My plan is just to have 3 v's tomorrow and 2 thurs one friday and none sat. We will see, I stopped snorting two days ago. I will let you know how my sucess goes. Good luck take it slow and easy put life on hold for a week. Besides it is really crappy in WA right now
Tapering sounds good... what would be a good plan? What about eating them as opposed to snorting... What can I do about this ultra lame feeling I have? Its really really crappy. I was just reading others experiences on here - pretty much the same as I'm feeling right now - anxiety, physical pain, I feel like puking, migrain, all kinds of weird stuff going on with my body - I don't like it very much.... I have never had withdrawals like this - I'm pretty much a solider, easily battled a coke addiction, and this stuff is kicking my ***.
I always thought paula was on something last year..this year not so much....anyway...this is very doable....but u need to quit snorting or chewing tham pronto...it will be hard to quit if ur girlfriend continues to use...it will be harder and harder as well as time goes on and ur tolerence builds....#1 is u need to take responsibility for ur addiction...blame is not useful in recovery...if u feel really bad when u CT...perhaps you can taper off....I would be glad to help in any way i can and the forum is a great place for support...go to the health pages and read the thomas recipe and the tapering article...keep posting
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