Help with a chronic pain patient who also is addicted to prescribed pain pills

How do I help a person who is addicted to pain pills and yet has terrible arthiritis and does have chronic pain?  She has a long history of pain pill abuse including a stint in the Betty Ford clinic.  She takes methadone, percocets and xanax.  She is constantly depressed and the quality of her life is terrible.  We made an appointment to see the doctor who is prescribing all these pills to talk to him about weaning her off.  Her resolve is strong one day and gone the next with embarrased pleadings for extra pills.  She finds the stash and steal them and then over medicates.  She is 71 and her son lives with her and doles out her medications (I'm the girlfriend).  She wears him down and from time to time he gives in and gives her an extra percocet (prefferably with an extra xanax).  How do I personally help?

[addictedme]

Tough situation. 1st off is this a pain managment Dr ? If so and he"s not suggesting any kind of physical therapy like pool therapy which helps alot then he"s just a pill pusher. Also she needs a dr who explains chronic pain to her. Acceptance that you will be in pain sometimes is a big deal. With something like arthiritis the meds are to lesson the pain not get rid of it completly 24/7,,thats where acceptance comes in. For you I"d suggest nar anon or narc anon or any program for loved ones of addicts. They"ll teach you that theres only so much you can do. Again,,your in a tough situation dealing with addiction,chronic pain and you and your bf"s love which doesnt want to see her in pain,,chronic or the depressing pain of addiction. She"s lucky for your concern for both,,gl

[cocobeanlisa]

I agree with addcitedtome,

It's hard for chronic pain patient's that abuse their meds.  That's correct her
DR should have her in Physical therapy, heat. message, whrirlpool and other things.

A lot of DR's will prescribe a pain patch for patient's, this way it's harder for
them to abuse the medication.  I would recommend that you and your Bf go to
a alanon meeting and find a different pain DR  and explain to the DR the
situation they might find a way to help.

cocobean

[AS_Steve]

  The best way for you to help is to have her and the son read through the posts here and see what other people's addictions have caused them to lose. My story alone should be proof enough that there is nothing good about using abusing pain pills as a way of life. I live with a painful spine disease and the past ten years of abusing Oxycontin has cost me my marriage, my home, my career, family, friends and mostly my will to live. It slowly kills all of your feelings until one day there is no meaning to your life other than maintaining your addiction.
  I made the decision to finally quit and it was finding this forum that did it for me. The people here are very supportive and all have stories of their own which unfortunately all end the same. Does'nt mean it's ever too late to start a new life.

  You're in the right place, good luck,

  Steve