Help

K I need 2 hear every Horrible story that anybody has to tell me about being on oxy's while pregnant, I keep fu*&#8*g up!!! I'm trying so hard 2 get off them, then I just screw up and take a bunch again.  I'll be clean for like a week then go on a 4 day bender then clean up for 2 weeks and screw up again.  I have no one to talk 2 about this, my husband does not even know I'm on them again.  Getting help is out of the ? in my house it's 2 shameful to the family he says, plus everybody thought I was over this, including my dr's.  I have them convinced I do not have a problem, they actually prescribe me 30 a month which is suppose to be safe for the baby but I usually finish those within 4 or 5 days and I buy more (off the streets) the next time I go on a bender.  I'm sure I'm going 2 hear some really mean things from everybody after I post this and maybe that's what I need but if I really new how this was affecting my baby I think that would help more, I have yet to hear really anything bad about baby's born 2 mom's addicted to oxy's except how horrible the withdraw are for them (the baby) but for some reason my head keeps thinking as long as I'm not taking any like the last month of my pregnancy or taking them how I'm suppose to be, the baby won't go through withdraws.  But I know this has to be having some affect on my baby.  And yes I have several back and neck problems I do need them, I am in pain, but I don't need to take as many as I do at one time (up 2 60 mi a day) when I go on my benders.  I'm only suppose to take 5 a day.  Thanks for your help.

[sweatinit]

OxyContin babies.
Reason#1 :
"You hold these babies and take them and rock them and can't console them."
REASON #2:
"Her whole body was just red and she tensed right up and shook real bad."

Enough said?!?

Your baby didnt ask for this. You need to get help to stop this crap right now! Shameful to your family? Are you kidding me??

[dominosarah]

As long as you keep this a secret this will keep happening.  Your secret isnt just affecting you, there is a baby involved.  I appreciate your honesty and i am glad you have this forum to talk to us.  I just wish you would listen to us.  They are finding out more and more about babies born to addicts, they have learning disabilities, attention issues etc.  We could tell you horror stories but what good would it do?  Until you are ready to face this problem nothing will change.  Now i will ask you, who is going to be the voice for this innocent baby?     sara

[dominosarah]

I just read thru your thread again.....Shameful??  How shameful will it be when CPS steps in?  Getting help is out of the question?  Wont be any question as to why CPS is there then will it?

[roughroad]

Premature birth and then death. I think that ranks pretty darn highly on the 'bad scale'. I have seen it with my own eyes when my daughter was in the NICU after her 'healthy' premature birth. The baby in the bed next to her was born at 23weeks from a mom who was on opiates. My mother worked there so I knew the scoop. Baby died at 38weeks after months of agony. I have never in my life heard such a cry from a baby as I heard from this one. Please please get help for your baby!! Who cares about shame when a little life is in the balance??

[BrotherFrankie]

I have never in my life heard such a cry from a baby as I heard from this one.

[throwindatowl]

Im so sorry hear your in the possition you are in. Im not perfect and am having a really hard time not getting off oxys but staying off. I have a little girl. Im a daddy so realateing to you 100 percent I cant do.
  About a month a ago I had quit and needed support. I got alot of support. You will to. This site is great for that. Youll also get honesty. You want that I can tell. Anyways A woman posted a post that had me crying for along time. Ive heard people say, I wouldnt wish wds on my worst enemy. Or wds hell on earth. The woman had given birth to an addicted baby. Addicted to oxys. In her post she sounded like you. If you cant see or feel the pain there must not be any. When she saw her poor baby I wont get graffic, the guilt she felt was overwhelming. She was suicidal. I was very worried about her and her baby. If I remember right her baby was not ok. They had to but her on meds. First day of life and having to give your baby drugs must be a hard thing to live with. The truth always comes out in the end. I understand if you just cant tell your family. There is alot of other people you must tell. You must. Go get help somewhere, your sick. If you had a fever for days and the doctor told you the baby was in danger come to the hospital would you go? Probably, you can feel that. Dont ruin your childs life or even the first minutes of life. I remember my little girl being born like it was a minute ago. It would break my heart if she had been born addicted to drugs,in pain,and with her life in danger. Id go see a doctor and be f n honest with them. Then Id go to a meeting. Or counsoling. ASAP!

[bbaby737]

WOW... Thanks so much everybody for your blunt and very honest responses...  When I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago I posted about my addiction and I got a lot of don't be to hard on yourself and good luck responses, its was nice but not what I needed to hear.  Thank you most to roughroad, 23 weeks that's unbelievable I"m 14 weeks right now I cant imagine having this baby in 9 more weeks.  I feel like the most horrible person right now, I called my mom and told her she was so upset, crying and then she hung up, I hope she calls back, I guess the next step is to tell my husband, he's already said he would leave me if I enter myself into a program, (the hole shame to the family thing) but I have to do something, I wish I knew where to start.  I'm going to try to pull myself together and stop crying my husband should be home from work soon.  I will keep everybody updated on my decisions.  And I'm still open to any and all advice Thanks

[dominosarah]

You are doing the right thing by telling your family.  They may be mad for a bit but that is okay.  This is about you, the baby and getting better.  Keep talking with us~~sara

[wantthissobad]

You know what a least you are admitting you have a problem and you want help so bad but you can't go to your husband. You have to stop if your baby comes out addicited and shows signs they will call protective services. You can do this you have 2 people you have to take care of and that is you and your baby! Good Luck.

[dominosarah]

How did your talk with your husband go?

[Sainai]

I just watched tv show "the doctors" where they showed premature drug addicted babies born going thru horrible withdrawal! What a terrible thing to see and these poor innocent babies did nothing to deserve this. You ate sick like any other addict likee me u need help for u and ur baby. Love will conquer all. Good luck xxoo

[bbaby737]

The talk with my husband - He was very very mad that I told my mom, she still hasn't called BTW, but he just said I could get this under control, but no programs, just like I knew he'd say, I didn't tell him about this forum I'm sure that would have made him even more mad, he kinda made it sound like this was really not that big of a deal, and I just needed to knock it off, and get it together, I've been telling him I needed help now for 5 yrs he always says the same thing.  I don't think he really understands he's never done a drug in his entire life, so of course he's never had a problem.  Anyway I'm looking for a NA class I can go to right now, I can't believe I'm having such a hard time finding one, I thought they would be easier to find.  Anyway I'm still trying to figure all this out and decide what I should do, the only thing I know for sure right now is I'm not taking any Oxy's today, or anytime soon, I'll let you all know how things are going Thanks again

[dominosarah]

People who dont understand addiction usually comment the way your husband did but you told him and i hope you feel better.  Give your mom some time to let this sink in.  That is great you are not using today!!!!  You can do this!!  Keep looking for NA meetings as they will help you alot too......Keep us posted.      sara

[vicki595]

Okay...listen:  IT IS DANGEROUS TO THE BABY TO STOP THE DRUG COLD TURKEY.

You really need to tell the doctor about this. There are many things he/she can do to help you and protect the baby.   Without any support,you will keep going back to the pills.  This is how it will play out:  You'll be addicted throughout your pregnancy. Your baby will be addicted. When it's time to deliver and you're at the hospital, the nurses will test you for drugs. This is standard procedure. When you blood comes back showing you're on pills,the authorities will be notified and you'll have a very hard time
trying to keep that baby.  AND your baby will suffer more than it is now.

Please do the right thing!

[DayToTry]

But at this point she said she already isn't using.  Not sure how many days its been since she used but if she's already went thru withdrawals I sure wouldn't go back on it.  

The thing is bbaby you've got to stop this back and forth thing you're doing.  Like people have said that is dangerous for the baby.  Every time you start and stop you are putting that baby at risk.  If you truly have already stopped then at least tell yourself you can hold off doing them for a few months till the baby gets here.  Don't think of yourself -- think of that baby of yours.

Then ... you never know you just might like being straight!

[el_em_en_oh]

DO NOT QUIT COLD TURKEY.

You'll kill your baby if you stop taking them C/T. Adults can tolerate withdrawls (although they're uncomfortable as we can attest to), but a fetus will DIE as a result of withdrawls.

You need to go and see a doctor about this NOW. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not this afternoon. NOW.

I'm not going to sugar-coat this and tell you how proud I am of you for deciding to quit, because I just can't bring myself to give you that sort of experience, strength & hope right now.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Addict or not, you KNOW the difference between right & wrong, and what you're doing is wrong (and you know it, or you wouldn't be here asking us to be hard on you).

Get in your car, and go to a doctor RIGHT NOW.

I feel sorry for your baby.

[bbaby737]

K this is whats going on, I got my script filled Thurs, before that I had not used any since Nov. 5th, I found out I was pregnant on Nov. 3 I posted on this web site I was pregnant on Nov. 4th, so I know all these dates for a fact. I had been on about a one week bender at the time, taking up to 60 mg a day, It took me 2 days to step down off that bender Nov. 4th and Nov. 5th, I had not used since then til Thurs, I took a couple of vicoden today so I didn't go through any withdraws and I seem to be doing just fine I'm just tired.  Please remember I am prescribed oxy's by my Dr. that DOES know I am pregnant, so I'm sure they expect me to have them in my system.  The reason I posted is I knew there had to be negative side effects to taking them while pregnant but could not find and had not heard of any that's why I asked, My Dr told me my baby would be fine and if the baby did have any withdraw symptom it was easily treated in the hospital, but he did not expect that to happen since I am only prescribed 5 mg a day - My Dr. did not know I was taking them all in the first few days and then none for a few weeks, and after hearing everything you all are telling me this is never going to happen again.  I just needed to know the facts.  

[Sainai]

Go to Aa if u can't find na Where I live there r tons of Aa and hardly any na meetings so  all of us addicts go to Aa cuz its e the same thing I swear Everybody there will understand and help u I promise u can do this

[vicki595]

Listen...you're making excuses here. The fact is you're taking too much in an off an on again fashion.  The doctor believes you're taking only 5mgs.  You're playing with this.
I know exactly what you need to do but I'm not telling you because you need to tell your doctor what you're doing to the baby. The first trimester is THE most vulnerable time for that baby and you're going on a bender???

Do the right thing. You'll feel a lot better in the long run. But,taking them and stopping for several days and then starting again is bad for the baby.  I feel sorry for you but that's how it is.  No excuses here. Call the doctor and tell the truth.

[Misswise]

I know someone who came off heroin sucessfully via methadone. She however at 37 weeks pregnant got arrested for possession of class a (heroin) at a dealers house! Her partner is unaware, social services will now inform him (thankfully) and potentially remove the child once born! If nothing else she has almost certainly detrimentally damaged her relationship! Secrets are never an option when someone is trying to recover. If you can't be honest with others, you're probably not trully being honest with yourself. Perpetuating the denial you exist in will keep you in the grips of an addiction. Seek help. You only get one life and so does your child. Make sure it's a good one.

[roughroad]

look.... you have done the hard part and told your husband the truth. I am sure he doesn't quite understand the seriousness of this situation from his reaction so I hope you tell your dr very very soon...like before the end of this week. I get that you can't do rehab because of the 'shame' but who would really know other then your husband? Can you not just go to the psych ward of the local hospital and tell everyone else it is a stress related emotional breakdown or something? You will probably need to have this pregnancy more closely monitored because of what you have done so this needs to be talked about to your dr asap. If yo don't want your family to know, well I understand, but nobody outside of your household really has to know the specifics.

[Sainai]

Yes very good idea from roughroad! My husband took me  to emergency room on  drugs after I crashed my car. I was not hurt but wanted and needed to get clean so they put me in psych ward and then advised me on rehabs aa etc. There ishelp out there just do it if not for u then for ur innocent baby PLEASE!!!b4 it's 2 late