Help

[scaredmommy1]

My daughter seems to take one step forward and two steps back. Any suggestions for how she can move forward without the constant cycle?

[atthebeach]

hey mom, i asked the court when my son was 17 to put him in a rehab as part of his sentence for durg possession.(cocaine & pot) they did. my son hated me, said i never want to see you again, you are not my mother. you just lost your son. he stayed in jail for the days leading up to his going. i took him there. in the beginning horrible defied every rule,very difficult. at first he didnt want to see me, remember he hated me. then he begged me to come. then i went without fail every week. a 2 hr drive one way. his stay was 4 months. he became a model of success. when he came home things were ok for awhile
he started smoking pot and drinking like a fish. never touched coke again though.1 positive thing. for the next 3 yrs. did nothing but lay around,not work,joint in his mouth 24 hrs a day. paranoid, no motivation,anger issues,depressed. i finally kicked him out. i was a bih enabler to him and my husband also. (my husband has now been clean for 16 months) when i kicked my son out at 23 .he on his own, got a job he still has today
a yr and a half never had a job that long, doesnt smoke doesnt use any drugs. he has had a number of his friends od and die, some are in jail. my son thanks me now, that i put him away. he said mom you saved my life, i know that your prayers have been answered.
so i say to you there is hope. a court ordered program she will have to stay there or else go back to jail. she will not be happy but will learn to deal. be strong mom. be encouraged. as long as she has breathe there is hope. pray,pray,pray GOD is able
to do great and mighty things on her behalf.
i will pray for you and her both,
sending hugs and blessings
debbie

[gnarly_1]

HI  welcome to the forum.......I went threw this with my youngest daughter at the ripe old age of 13 she became a crack/meth addict......I use to go pull her out of crack houses at all house of the night I new where to find her.....things just kept getting worst the courts got involved my wife even wrote a letter to the judge to throw the book at her this time they had tryed probation rehabs you name it.....well her last time out she called after not hearing from her for 8 weeks and told us she was in cali living under a different name as a waitress 2 days later we got a call from the trama center here in phoenix she was involved in a serious auto accedent  broke her ankle and crushed a vertabra in her back......there was little hope of her ever walking again but threw much prayers and a mirical from God she walks....2 8in steel rods in her back and 8 screws that was when she was 16 the judge threw the book at her then told her she was in till she was 18 but she finely decided to get clean .....she found recovery in jail got her g e d and is now clean and 22 she has started a family and I couldn't be prouder of her so you may have to go to hell to get to heaven but God really does watch over us ....your daughter will get clean when she is ready...not a minute b/4 there is a very wise mane here that says ....'''the desire to get clean must exceed the desire to get high'' ....untill your there you got nothing no rehab's (4) of them could get Sara strait she had to want to change her life around she did a 360 but today she pays for it with back pain everyday a hard lesson to learn .....if you every need to talk im out here just message me .......Gnarly  

[scaredmommy1]

Please any suggestions or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. I try to practice tough love. Granted I am not  always good at it, but I do try. She currently is in jail and I have tried to put restriction on her even there. She wanted money for commisary, I said no. She would call me 20 times a day, I told her she could call me but only once a day. We finally settled on two.She needs to stop feelling sorry for herself. She told me that she started because of pain over an ex-boyfriend. She has some type of addiction to him. She is in denial a lot of the time. And then she will know she is a mess and needs help but she is lonely and scared and has definitely not bought into the higher power idea.

[paulking177]

It sounds like she hasn't yet accepted that she has a problem. I know its a cliche but shes never going to change unless she admits she has a problem and accepts some help. And its unlikely that she will admit to having a problem until the pain of using becomes more than the pain of carrying on as she is. For this to happen, she has to start feeling the consequences of her actions and you can help with this by showing her some tough love. How do you deal with her at the moment? Do you confront her behaviour? Do you discuss her problem? Or do you brush it under the carpet and allow her to carry on without being challenged. There are things you can do to help, but they will cause her some short term pain in order to get some long term gain.

[scaredmommy1]

She went, lasted five days came home. I ended up marchman acting her and she flipped out while they were taking her and ended up getting arrested. it has been a nightmare. She is in the drug court program, but not being compliant. I think that she believes that she can be a part time user; she cant. She is living with me, but is presently in jail for missing things and testing positive. Next step will be four month residential court ordered.

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome back,

What is going on with her now? Is she living with you? I remember she had gone to treatment but left? Give us a little update and we can help you.