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Avatar universal

Help...methadone??

I have had back problems for a very long time.  I do a lot of lifting (heavy lifting) with my job.  I went to my doctor in 2007.  She wrote a vicoden percription. 500mg - 2 a day.  I did not know what a pain killer was.  I had had no prior experience with them.  She kept me on them for 2 years with no MRIs or any proof backing her decision of the percription.  The MRIs were finally done in 2009 ( when my good insurance kicked in) and all evidence of serious problems were identified.  I have seen specialists and surgeons with no willingness for answers.  My doctor then put me from the 500mg vic to perkocets.  1500mg >> 4 times a day.  I believe they are 15s.  This turned into never enough.  I found myself turning to the street and purchasing whatever I could fine.  Mostly 7 1/2 vics.  In huge amounts.  100 at a time or more and I was still barley making my fill date.  Its all I thought about.  My eyes open in the morning and Im wondering if I have enough to get me through the day...a few days.... a week??  Do I need to make a phone call and find more??  I found myself so sick of living this way..  I am a very succesful business woman.  Family business I have been running for 17 years now.  I stay very good at what I do, but I am spending all of my money and finding myself not being the old me I remember being before I started all this.  I am very active....snowmobiling, camping, hanging with friends, but now find myself wanting to hang out in my room alone and watch a movie so I can pop pills and chill.  So, I finally decided I am done.  Got a very strong mind set and said no more.  These are not going to run my life any more!  I found methadone pills from a friend and I have been cutting them in 1/4s.  I can get through a day taking 2 - 3 of those 1/4s.  So I guess my question is .... am I doing this right?  I am on day 3 of taking the methadone which is the longest Ive been without a perkocet or vicoden.  So in one sense I feel proud Im doing this and in the other I am afraid Am I just picking up another addiction?  I dont want to live this addicting life anymore!  How long should I stay on the methadone?  Am I taking a small enough dose that I will be ok coming off of it?  My goal is to be off the methadone and feel normal again by Thanksgiving.  Is that possible?  I could really use some support and some answers from someone who knows more?  Thank you all for listening and any advise would be greatly appreciated.
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Avatar universal
Hey guys.  Thanks for your feedback!  It really helps to hear opinions and know someone out there understands and cares!  Ok..Day 9.  Have not touched a perk or vic!  It does feel awesome.  I thought I was taking meth but I am not.  It is actually suboxon.  I am only taking an 1/8 of a pill every 10 hours or so.  Sometimes even longer than 10 hours.  Im not sure if this is a good thing or not?? But I am feeling like the old me.  I missed her...a lot.  I will feel leg pain and my back is friggin killing me!  I can get grouchy easily but all an all I feel ok.  Im surprising myselfg! I dont know if that small amount of suboxon is helping (sure it is) but my mind set is very strong.  I can do this.....I know I can!
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Avatar universal
HI  welcome to the forum .......so glad to here your going off the methadone it is an evil drug and one that should only be taken with the worst of habits in order to save your life the withdrawals from it last for months and your dope sick a good portion of the time get off this stuff b/4 it gets its fangs in you ......if you must you can taper off the percs tell your doctor what you want to do and have him write you for the small ones then evey couple of days take one less till there gone .....we cant talk about doses or tapering beyond that on the forum it breaks the guidlines but you get the idea it is helpful if you have someone you caan trust to give you the pills most of us will blow the taper and just gobble them up if donne right the taper is uncomfortable but doable the main thing here is to have a positive mindset you  nnot going to be chained to a pill bottle anymore you can do this with some help and support ....we always recamend N/A or A/A its free and the programs work this is a lot ez to do with outside support some just use this forum it will get you threw the basics but aftercare should be a must stick around read the other post and post often we all want to see you succeed good luck and And God bless......Gnarly
  
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Avatar universal
I understand how you don't want to leave your son!  How old is he?  But even if you choose to do an inpatient detox, he's going to get a better mother at the end of it.  It's only a short period of time in the big scheme of things.  It's hard to be in withdrawals and parent.  So you must have pain if you have a lifetime script.  You'll also need to figure out a way to deal with your pain once you're off the medication.

I'm glad you're going to talk to your doctor as he/she can really help.  I'm also really happy you're going to stop the methadone.  Some people take it for pain and it was suggested for me, but after reading up on it, I decided it wasn't where I wanted to go.  I would rather have some pain.  (Though for other people it may be the right choice.)

I hope you'll keep posting.  There is great support here.  Whether you're going to taper or go CT, get the things suggested in the Thomas Recipe and make sure you stay hydrated.
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your responce Mellie.  I am very confused and honestly very emotional over this whole thing.  I really want to stop and dont have the slightest clue how to.  I am going to listen to your advice which I really do appreciate you taking the time to give.  I was trying to avoid detox/rehab due to me being a single parent to my son.  I do have some support to help me with him if need be but I would hate to leave him for a long period.  I am all he has and thats my main reason for quitting this!  I have a lifetime prescription basically that I do not want any more.  The precription is 15mg - 4x a day.  I wrote that out wrong. I am going to stop taking the methadone and reach out to my primary which I think is the safest way to go about this.  So again thank you very much for your caring feedback.
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Avatar universal
"Am I doing this right?"  NO!!!  This is a really bad idea.  "... Am I just picking up another addiction?"  YES, and a far worse one.

Please, please stop.  Read the posts here about methadone.  This is nothing to play around with.  You cannot buy these off the street and take them.  It is really dangerous.

I'm a little confused.  Were you taking 1500 mg. a day?  Or 15 mg. 4 times a day?  (Of the percocet?)

In either case, decide what you want to do.  Do you want to cold turkey or taper?  (I'm guessing taper since you took the methadone.)  Either way, look up the Thomas Recipe and pick up the stuff it mentions.  It will help ease the withdrawal symptoms either way.  Tapering is hard for a lot of addicts but the withdrawals are milder than cold turkey but they are also longer.  At some point you have to quit totally.

Do you have a primary care doctor?  If you tell them what's going on, he/she could help.  Is inpatient detox/rehab an option?

There are few posts from people who are happy they went on methadone.  For some people, it is a good choice, but only those with very bad habits and only under the care of someone who knows what they're doing.  If you've only been taking them a few days, you won't experience withdrawal from the methadone but you probably will from the percocets.

I'm sure others with experience will post on this.  Gnarly is personally familiar with methadone and he can tell you what it's like to get off.  He does not paint a pretty picture of this ... he knows what he's talking about so I hope you'll listen.

No one wants to deal with withdrawal, but the physical part is only part of it.  Staying off everything for good can be hard.  You have to really make changes and take charge of your recovery.  You'll get loads of support here.  Many people have got off every kind of drug there is but some are harder than others.  Methadone is one of the really hard ones.  Withdrawals can last a very, very long time; much longer than withdrawing from percocet or vicodin.
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