Heroin and subutex withdrawal - please help

I guys, this is the first time I've posted in a forum like this so I hope someone can help.

I was a heroin addict for about a year. My doctor prescribed subutex but in truth I was using both drugs - heroin for a few days and then subutex to deal with the withdrawal. I realised I couldn't continue in this way, so I was lucky enough to have a friend who could lend me a very remote cottage for a month where I could clean up (I also quit antidepressants and alcohol).

I quickly cut down my subutex dose over the course of two weeks, until I was taking no more than a crumb (probably less than 0.2 mg) each day. Then I stopped entirely, and despite some withdrawal symptoms I ended up feeling ok.

I was convinced that I was completely recovered, even started taking 5 mile hikes, felt better than I had done for years. HOWEVER a friend came to visit, and one day (about a week after stopping the subutex) I felt this overwhelming tiredness which I immediately knew to be connected to withdrawal. I couldn't move, couldn't do anything. So - not wanting to ruin my friend's holiday - I took 2mg of subutex, which immediately got rid of the tiredness and even made me feel mildly euphoric. Over the course of 4 days I took 2mg on 3 occasions, in order to be in a reasonable state for my friend's holiday.

However, now she's gone and I've quit subutex again. I've been amazed to discover that, apparently on the basis of those few days, I've been going through withdrawal AGAIN - chills, RLS, 'flu symptoms, etc. It's been seven days now and although I feel a little better, I'm still utterly exhausted and suffering from chills.

Can anyone explain this to me? Was it that I never properly completed withdrawal in the first place? I just don't understand how three 2mg of subutex over four days could have a withdrawal lasting seven days and counting.

Btw I have no subutex left or anything else to ease the symptoms as I'm in the middle of nowhere.

Thanks for reading, guys.

[hellc@mst]

Hi there. I think the time it takes to become susceptible to withdrawals becomes shorter and shorter each time we use after achieving a period of sobriety. While it is unusual to me that you experienced withdrawals after only using for such a short period, it is no huge suprise.

When we use to the point of abuse and dependance it is as if we rewire our neural circuitry. This rewiring is permanent( my opinion) so when we relapse it take little time to develop a dependancy and the same tolerances we had before. There will be a "honeymoon period" when we relapse where we are able to capture glimpses of that first high we got when we first began using but this is always short lived.

The continuum of the length of time it takes to develop dependance, length of time it takes to relight an extinguished dependancy,severity and duration of withdrawal symptoms etc... is endless with any number of different experiences depending on any number of variables. Even the exact same conditions can have completely different outcomes for different people.

Although there is no definitive answer as to Why you reexperienced withdrawals after such a brief relapse, you now at least know that you will always be vulnerable to this no matter how long your active addictions remains in a period of remission. It was a warning shot across the bow and should serve as a reminder to you of what you may expect if you relapse again, no matter how brief or small.

I wish you all the best. Kind Regards Jeremy.

[davenabal]

Thanks for your thoughtful and articulate words, Jeremy. You're right, I'll take this as a warning. Luckily I feel better every day and I think I am almost back to full health now, despite the rocky transition.

Best,
D.

[Molokai]

I wish you lots of good luck with the urge to use.  I myself have been taking opiates from codine to methadone and subutex and has run out of subutex a few days ago.  Although the doc prescribed pecocet (percocet) it does not really help all that much.  I think subutex is a very strong medication.   Dependancy on pain meds and opiates just does not go away.  I tried to move to a new place and start and new life only to find that i still need my meds to feel normal.  Sometimes i feel like i ruined my life.  The best advice i heard is that once an addict - you should stay on meds for the rest of your life.  I think that works the best.

[Rlpatty]

Hi everyone how are you?  I am an ex motocross racer with lots of painful injuries and I got heavily addicted to my pain meds. I got help and got on subutex and at first started on a low dose. At first it was great with pain but slowly noticed myself increasing my dose.  Around October of 2010 I was taking any where from 12 to 16 mg a day and my mg intake kept increasing. I tried to tell myself I did not want to go over 16mg a day. So I would try to take very small chunks and seriously 20 to 30 minutes later my pain would be so bad and headaches would be so intense I would have to take more. I was like a zombie all the time and when I found out my wife was pregnant I wanted to come off completely bc also of crazy mood swings I was having. I worked my way down to about 8 to 10mg and I feel like I'm going crazy everyday with nousia, headaches, body pain, I have a very low sex drive upwards my wife which is just odd bc she is not that far along yet and I have always been super attracted to her. I would rather go to a chiropractor or some other alternative to deal with my injuries.  I just want out of this trap I have caused myself with this subutex, I'm miserable everyday and I want to be the best husband and father I can be. I'm terrified this detox feeling will never stop or if I start taking more again that there will be no end to the detox feeling and I will keep increasing my mg. I just want off of this stuff man it's seriously not cool.  I have a small script of benzos so should I take those and quit the subs cold turkey? I just want to be me again without subtext. Can someone HELP PLEASE?!?!