Hey Amanda again- Took an extra pill last ight feel really bad about it

[Amanda270]

I know today is my last one i have but i was supposed to conserve for 1 more day of weening. I feel really bad about it but, I know that I am done. I have 1half left and that is it. My boyfriend gets kee surgery next week and is going to get painkillers and prob. ask me to get some for him. Any helpful hints as to how to avoid using them again??

[vicki595]

Hey Amanda...Hang on to that resolve you're feeling right now,okay?  This is such a long,hard road and we all know that...

Keep posting,reaching out,and asking questions. There's much wisdom within this forum so please take full advantage.

I'm coming in "a little late for the party" here but Bama was doing just fine on her own!  LOL!

Stay close!

[Chemicallydependent]

I kicked heroine ct without any support at all and I did at 19. Going to detox isn't the only way to get clean. But tbh i had to dump my gf ditch all my "best friends" and delete every dealers number and flush every sembelence of narcotics. You can only get clean if you want to be clean. But the cold hard truth is. Your an addict. Like me and everyone else here. If I see drugs I do drugs. Not saying it's not possible to quit around them but I sure as **** know I could never do it. Gl sorry for the bluntness

[thebellepoque]

Actually, just to be clear, my nickname is The Belle Epoque, but I dropped an e. Its french for "beautiful era" My name is Mandy. I think ultimately we both want the same things for Amanda, I think everyone who posted here today was..and I truly mean it, good luck to you in Rehab!!




M.L.

[thebellepoque]

WHOA,,Well, I'm surprised that you took my comments the way you did and thats what you got out of it,but I think that comment to me had more to do with you, than myself or my character. Good luck to you in Rehab and best wishes


Amanda- We're here for you. Please keep posting. It is a priviledge to fight for your life...and yes, I've been where you have been..and absolutely what they are saying is good too, I think everyone on here has posted good suggestions, helpful tips, good stories..and thankfully we live in a country where thats possible. How are you feeling right now?

[Emily_MHManager]

Let's all make sure the comments are supportive and not about side disagreements or whatnot.

I'm sure most of you have heard this, but "take what you need, leave the rest".  If you don't agree with something, that's ok.  The great thing about the Internet is that you can ignore what doesn't work and focus on what does.  What works will often be somewhat different for everyone.

Emily

[littlebit010101]

Bama best wishes to u...I wish u the very best u so deserve it...good luck my friend and peace, love and happiness...

[bama88]

I never recommender her to leave today. I think she needs to think. And you want to argue on this girls.post. I think she needs to know what can might and will happen if they both stay on this road. Thats my opinion. I left in peace and here you go.and get argumentive. I dont have time for this belle im.going to.rehab. Ive got my own problems. Didnt you read. Or do you just fight. Grow up belle and see the big picture. Im 45 days clean of oxy. I know if i stay home i will.relapse. I know me. I see what path this young girl is in. Its her life. Her choice. She got herself in and she can get out. Just like i am doing. Frankly i dont care what she chooses. At least choose. And as for you belle. Go stick your head in the sand and keep hiding. Your not ready for the truth. I am out of the fog after eight long years and can see my path of distruction. My kids my family my marraige. But you know best belle.

[Amanda270]

Thanks for the support. I get the feeling you've been in a similar situation?? The honest truth: I do not plan on going anywhere right now. Not until he gets his surgery and I at least give him a chance to get clean. I can respect what they are saying though because it may come in handy in the future if I am in that situation. I am no stranger to the fact that my bf is a control freak. I am an addict and codependant so we all have our downfalls

[littlebit010101]

Good for u hon..oh Amanda is my babys name which she is 26 but still my baby....u got this...that voice was the only thing that kept me going...I wanted me back.....will be here....

[Amanda270]

Yeah i def do...it's the only thing stopping me from using. Thanks for the support

[littlebit010101]

Amanda do still hear that voice???... Don't let go of it and hold on to it for dear life....u won't ever regret it....best of luck hun...listen to ur heart...

[thebellepoque]

That is really unnecessary. Urging her to upheave her life and home situation and then you are now giving up and stepping back because you don't like what I had to say or took offense to it? I'm saying..What I think she needs is stability. Yes we are all here for her. We have all given her our stories..and we will still be here to listen to hers..and not vow to "keep my mouth shut" and throw snide comments like "oh i msure you know more than me" We will stick it out and ALL be here for her...and Amanda, those are the right reasons to quit.Keep repeating that when you come in contact with his Percocets, or see him take one. You want more out of life and you're going to get it.

[Amanda270]

Love u bama..I will pray for u too. I wish u all the best <3 xoxoxoxoxo

[Amanda270]

Aghhhh!! Gys we r all here for eachother no fighting / bickering amongst one another. I appreciate and respect everything all of u have to say. Please let's be here for eachother. Let's not do this.

[bama88]

Amanda i love you. And i will.pray for you. What ever you choose. I just want you to see my nightmare. I wish you the best. Please dont let him control you. I wish you the best. Read about me and know i will pray for you.

[Amanda270]

I am stopping becuase... I am sick of not being myself. I cannot look at myself in the mirror anymore. I hate the sight of my face. I got really bad mood swings from the pills and yelled at my nephews. I know that I am going through my life like a shell of who I am and I amsick of it. I want to deal with my demons so I can really be happy and move on. I want to enjoy things again and not only find happiness in these pills. I do not want to hate myself anymore.

[thebellepoque]

If that is all you got out of my comment, then alright lol

[thebellepoque]

and I'm sure you know that when you love someone, as you love Amanda, sometimes you need to let them fly, and find out for themselves..and the best support is to be there when she lands.

[bama88]

I wouldnt ever really hit her. I know shes going thru too much. I get that. But she needs to hear the truth no sugar coating. This is a serious dangerous situation. Shes crying out for help being sucked under by withdrawls and surgery and her boyfriend. I dont want to see her fail. I want to see her live. Free and clean. I am not being mean. I want her to see what i went thru and what her boyfriend will.likely do. Addicts are addicts. I know shes shakey and weak. But do you want her to end up like me? Or my husband? Well if you do than im done. I wont say another word. What do i know? I dont know anything about knees. I dont know anything about living with an addict. I just made all this up. I hear her crying and screaming inside to be free. Yet hes part of the problem. I can feel her pain. Its obvious to me. But love can be tough. Love hurts. Addiction kills. But sense you want me to back off im not gonna say another thing. You know way more than me

[thebellepoque]

We don't know this person, maybe the best thing is not for her to pack up and run off to anywhere. It may not be an option right now for her, or maybe its the better option for her in her current situation. You covered your tracks made up for your mistake and your boyfriend has his pills.

[texaslady68]

belle, we love Amanda and are only giving her known advice.  You hear it all the time it is hard to be sober, especially newly and live with an addict.  We know what is on her shoulders I am only 10 Days clean.

[Amanda270]

Go bama and dont look back you are getting butterflies because your brain is excited your heart finally started listening. Thank you for all the advice u rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thebellepoque]

It is not vikki's job, or any of ours to "whack " her on the head..and everybody needs to ease on up. There is a LOT on Amanda's shoulders right now. Just because what you and IBKleen and others had to do to get well, does not mean its the only way Amanda will succeed too. None of us our addiction counselors, just people supporting one another because who the heck are we kidding? We all know. We ALL know how it feels.


Amanda, may I ask you a question? (other than that one lol)

Why do you want to quit?

[Amanda270]

I dont get loratab um...maybe some1 else. IDK. I am def going to get clean though. I pick life w/o drugs. Life w/o being sick and tired. I am really proud of u. U r starting a new life. It is prob super nerve wracking  but, in a good way. I am freezing right now 2. and the breathing thing is starting again. I am at work so I have to put on a happy face but my back is drenched in cold sweat. FML