Aa
Holly crap are you kidding me
Are you kidding me what the crap, I was doing laundry and just trying to keep moving as much as my body will allow at this time, my bf and kids are not home right now first time I have been totally alone in the house sense starting my dextox I was lil scared at first but did good. family came over which I was tickled to see but heres the kicker I was sitten in the living room just watching tv and behold he comes up to me and hands me three dang perks, I looked at them like OH NO and the goose bumps started hardcore and sweat beaded up on my body I was drenched my heart literally raced out of my chest I could feel the air leaving my lungs. and the voice in my head started to scream at me but I did not take them. I calmly gave them back to him and said I cant have that and please dont ever give me anymore I know that I havent told you I dont see them much and had not told em.I have told them now... I said I cant be around them or have any ever I told him everything cried and said its your choice if you want them but for me its a no go. I will have to cut ties from you if you cant understand that I cant have them around me. which he understood and said he was proud and he diddnt mean to upset me which he diddnt upset me I just have to protect myself And thank God he got those dreadful things out of my house he is welcome here but pills are not. I had the strenght to say no shew I know that its always gonna be there and I just cant turn back now I just cant. I wish we had after care here but nope not where I live its way to small of a town and full of this ****. no rehabs or meetings I have to depend on this site and myself and my family and friends and my aunt god love her she is a recovering addict herself she has three years under her belt and is trying to teach me her 12 steps she is my middle of the night text when I feel like I wanna break she talks me off the ledge as she calls it. cause god knows theres no way I can do it all bymyself/......
Yes. I am so proud of you. I know how hard it can be to just say no. I been there and I wasnt as strong as u. Wow. We were just talking about this. And how many pills Im gonna find around the house when I start cleaning. You should be so proud of yourself! I am so glad u said no! You deserve a big hug!!!
Wow, great job staying strong in the face of temptation. I know it's hard. You should feel very proud for overcoming that
I'm very proud of you! I am sure there will be other opportunities....and out of the blue like that,you handled yourself very well.....and I am confident you will the next time also! Good going, solo!!
youa re doing so freakin great! great attitude! you will make it!
keep up the good work, keep your eye on the goal, and when the kids are back remember to keep up taking care of YOU, keep nutrition up.
hugs, lily
keep up the good work, keep your eye on the goal, and when the kids are back remember to keep up taking care of YOU, keep nutrition up.
hugs, lily
You hit the nail on the head.....you are breaking the cycle of addiction in your home. What better gift to give your children. I so commend your unselfishness in doing so. Much admiration.
thank you all I appreciate all your support it has been my rock I must say, cause I really cant do it alone I dont think anyone can. and yes I'm very determined I just cant fall now been through hell and back and dont ever ever ever wanna be there again. cause once my mind and my body are back there are free and clear and I dont ever have to go through that again. or see the dissapointment in my kids eyes as mommy is so sick or have to sit and say I messed up and did it again and see that look on their faces. You see my motivation isnt all for myself its for my kids and family who held my hair as I got sick or helped me in the shower and put up with the craziness of detox or listened to me cry. I wont put myself or them there again. you see I grew up in a house full of addicts my mom god love her was in and out of rehab my step dad was one to I thought I saw enough of that crap to stay away but nope I diddnt I ended up right there. but I have the choice to not be there again and choice not to be cause I like where I'm right now and you cant take that away from me. only I can
Thank you Kyle505 you are right that was sooooooo dang hard, but so far my day eleven has been great, I sweat and chill goose bumps are my new look, legs cramp but its soooo much better than it was the anxiety today has been not as hard except for my holly crap moment but thats what it was my moment where I had the choice to use or not and I can jump for joy I diddnt do it. I will do laundry instead and wait for my babies to come home and enjoy my lil evening and know whatever happens tonight is gonna happen my body is gonna do what its gonna do gotta get the garbage out. but i can wake up whenever I do go to sleep and look in the mirror and say good girl you did it. you just said no and that is also empowering all in itself and I do hope someone who is going through this can look at what I have wrote or someone elses post and see that there is hope you can do it. cause by gosh we are living proof that it can be done. Love and light to you
Solo, Your going to make it!!! Way to take control. You saved yourself all the emotional backsliding those messily pills would have caused. PROUD, PROUD!
This is the best post I've seen in a while. This is what addiction is all about. All the excuses in the world don't matter in the end. It all boils down to self will. Either you chose to use or you don't. What a decision!! To give the pills back after they are already in your hand. Wow...You seem to be very determined. Keep this up! awesome!
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