Home Drug Test

[Pam]

Does anyone know where I can get a home drug test? I have a family member with a history of addiction who I suspect is using again.  Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.

[Andrew]

You might want to try any shop dealing in Merijiwana accessories such as pipes, bongs, etc....  Although the use and merijiwana is prohibited, the sale of such items is not.  These stores usually carry such things as drinks which cover up drug testing.  They might have a test kit of their own.....you never know!

[Jason]

You can get these home drug tests at any drug store, and they are fairly inexpensive, and usually very accurate.

[Mariah to Tom]

Hi everyone!  My doctor's appointment is in 2 days!!!  I'm so nervous & thought about canceling.  I even called there to cancel!  But then I got over it when I was talking to the nurse & told her I wanted to keep my appointment.  So, I'm going.  I know I have to & putting it off would just make it harder on the baby & me.  I'll let everyone know how it goes.  Thank you!
Mariah  :)

[tom to Mariah and Pam]

good luck, Mariah. I'm proud of you!

Pam:

This is of course entirely your business and none of mine but ...

I'm wondering, if they won't even admit to using, what do you think you will be able to get them to do if the test is positive? Dealing with drug addiction requires the cooperation of the addict. It doesn't sound like you exactly have that.

I am conflicted about drug testing. I believe it amounts to bodily invasion. At the same time, I know there are situations, jobs and environments where drug use can be catastrophic, such as in the case of bus drivers or train engineers. I know that you have to have drug-free employees in, for instance, pharmacies (can't imagine why I thought of that one). I just wish there was another way. It creates such paranoia and frequently stigmatizes. Some people (and companies) use the drug test punitively -- as a punishment in itself.

I know someone who didn't get a job because they were nervous and couldn't pee on demand. Because they took more than 45 seconds to start going, they "failed" the drug test and lost the job opportunity. This materially impacted this person's family's standard of living.

If we support drug testing, we should also enforce an "employee's bill of rights" to protect people from misuse.

I know someone else who reported his perfectly legitimate use of a medication that happened to include a minute amount of Librium. Two days later, he was escorted off the job by armed security guards. He had to hire a lawyer and pay for his own re-testing to get his job back. This doesn't happen every day, but the possibility is always there. Just my two cents …

Anyway, I'm sure you have a good reason, Pam. Good luck. I hope it turns out the way you want it to.

[Kerri to Shelly, Brian and Brighty]

Tom,

I appreciate your comments and understand your point of view regarding drug testing. I have learned alot about addiction by dealing with my loved one and also through this forum.  I also realize that no one can help an addict unless they are willing to help themselves.

The reason I was interested in a drug test is, I hate to admit, a  little selfish on my part. I need to be able to trust again. See, the addict is my husband who has been battling his addiction to pain pills for many years. I only found out about it this past year and it has almost destroyed our marriage. I am finding it almost impossible to be able to trust him again because of all the lies he has told. He has "supposedly" been clean since July, but I have been so suspicious of him using again and lying about it that I am falling apart. I have been very supportive and have helped him several times through detox.  But he has gone back so many times that my support is unfortunately running out. And every time he has gone back to using, he's lied right to my face about it and I believed him.

Needless to say, my heart has been broken many times over, and I sometimes feel like I just keep going back for more. And I feel like a fool because I couldn't tell he was on them.

So, I have been watching him closely and have been suspicious lately. Of course, everytime I bring it up, gently- not accusatory- he denies it. I can't believe him so I just want proof- positive or negative- to set my mind at ease. If it's positive, then I will try to get him into a program. If it's negative, then I will be able to trust him, atleast a little.

Sorry to ramble on, like everyone else in this forum, it helps to talk about it. Thanks for your concern.

[loanne]

hi pam.  i understand about the trust thing. my husband and i are both alcoholics in recovery.  i remember those days of distrust and abuse of trust, and the chronic relapses.  that was when we were not using aa.  these days, i have learned from alanon and aa that i can only change myself.  i suggest using alanon.  you will learn to let the alcoholic/addict conduct his own affairs and to focus on yourself.  eventually, if he is using, he'll be unable to hide it.  this is a progressive disease, and it will only get worse each time.  you need to keep the focus on yourself and not let his addiction rule your life.  just my opinion of course.

[samantha]

Pam, I completely understand your fears. I am in the same situation that you are. After the continuous lies, it makes it nearly impossible to look at him and believe anything that he says. I am told that it is the addiction that makes him lie, but that doesn't make it any easier for me. He is currently in a rehab program, however, I realize that there is always a possiblily of a relapse. At this point, I am not sure that I can keep going through this cycle. It definately takes a toll on the relationship. No matter how much you love someone, there is only so much lying and dishonesty you can take. I've tried to be supportive throughout the entire addiction, but i know that my dissapointment and anger about the situation comes through as well. I too have thought about "surprise" drug testing. My feeling is that if he is truly clean, he won't object to the test, if he is using, then you can expect denial as well as anger towards you for even bringing the issue up. In the past when i have confronted him and he was using, he became extremely agitated and angrily denied it.  Let me know how you are doing.

[Kerri to Shelly, Brian and Brighty]

Samantha,

Thank you for your concern and understanding. It is good to find someone in my same situation. Atleast be grateful that he is in a program. My husband has tried to beat this addiction on his own and it doesn't seem to be working.  I have tried to talk him into going into rehab, but he won't do it.

Your feeling about the surprise drug test is exactly what I was thinking too. If he agrees, then I know that he is not using. But, like you, everytime I have approached him about using, he gets angry and defensive and denies it, lying right to my face. We have had so many blow-out fights because of this and my distrust is really tearing me and our marriage apart.

So, if he reacts that way, then I can pretty much bet that the test will be positive.  I haven't found a test yet, but will start looking at the drug stores. I know I can order one from the internet, but hesitate to do that. I also haven't decided when and if I will use it. I really want to believe that he is not using, but every instinct I have is telling me that he is. And I have learned to trust my insticts. Atleast I can trust something.

So, thanks again for your reply and I will keep you updated on what happens with the test.

[joan]

Sorry folks but I have a question that is completely irrevalent to this thread.  I got a prescription from my doctor and its some kind of patch.  I can't make out the first letter but it is spelled -idoderm patch.  Any information on what this is will really be helpful.  I really don't want to fill it if its not going to be any good.  Thanks

[FROM SAMANTHA TO PAM]

Pam, it is nearly impossible for someone to beat this on thier own! I too, believed that he could beat this on his own. He really thought he could too. He lasted only a few days and went back to using (even though he told me he had stopped)

It is just too hard to do without support from trained professionals. The best way to detox is to go through a medically supervised program. This allows the user to be weaned off gradually so that the withdrawl is not as traumatic to the mind and body. Your husband doesn't sound like he is ready to make that change in his life yet. Unfortunately, these changes usually come once someone has bottomed out, either losing someone they love, ruining thier health or facing criminal charges.

It is so hard to sit by and watch. It may sound harsh, but i will not sit by anymore. I cannot watch this cycle keep repeating itself. I will be 100% supportive, but I have my limits too. It has almost destroyed me and that is not fair. You need to do what is right for you.

[joan]

Well, I found what that patch was for.  It's called lidoderm and all it is is lidocaine, you know that stuff you rub in except this is a patch. What a rip off.  The patches are so big if I put them on all the places that hurt I'd look like a mummy.  Anyway I called his office and they called in a 100 10m Lortab for me.  Thank God.

[Kerri to Shelly, Brian and Brighty]

Well, we had a drug test of sorts and it has set my mind at ease a little. And it was actually him that brought it up!

Anyway, here's what happened. When I came home from work yesterday, he said he had something to show me. He went into his closet and pulled a small plastic bag from a pocket of a suit coat. The bag had 2 buttons for the coat and one small oxy pill. He wanted to show me that he found the pill (left in there from a few months ago) and he didn't eat it. To prove to me that he is still clean (it's been 3 months). And he actually let me flush the pill down the toilet! Does this qualify as a test?

Afterward, we had a long, open, honest discussion about the whole situation. HE noticed how distant and suspicious and angry I have been (I have even stooped to going through pockets, drawers, and even his truck, which he noticed). He realized that this would soon destroy our relationship if nothing was done about it. He said he would do anything to get me to trust him again... even take a drug test if I asked him.  He is going to start going to NA meetings and get back on the excercise kick that really helped him get through the initial few weeks of detox. My suspicion and mistrust has, of course, affected both of us and he said it's killing him to know that he is resposible for driving me crazy - which is how I have been feeling lately.

We will celebrate our one year anniversary on October 9th. Aside from the addiction, we really do have a wonderful relationship. Unfortunately, our 1st year was clouded by this terrible problem. For me, talking about it with him really helps me trust him more and our discussion last night has given me renewed hope and a little more trust. We both know that it is going to take a long time, and it may even be a lifetime battle. But I love him enough to not give up just yet.

[FROM SAMANTHA TO PAM]

I don't want to discourage you, however, I have fallen for the "flushing" trick too many times. He has now revealed to me that the times he did do this he had a stockpile of about 100 pills. Flushing one didn't affect his supply, but he knew it would make me think everything was OK. Unfortunately, an addict will go to any legnths to hide thier addiction. Now that he is in treatment, he is now coming clean about what he has done in the past 2 years and I am amazed at what he was able to put over on me. I hope for your sake that he is being truthful, but I wouldn't rule out a surprise test either.

[FROM SAMANTHA TO PAM]

I don't want to discourage you, however, I have fallen for the "flushing" trick too many times. He has now revealed to me that the times he did do this he had a stockpile of about 100 pills. Flushing one didn't affect his supply, but he knew it would make me think everything was OK. Unfortunately, an addict will go to any legnths to hide thier addiction. Now that he is in treatment, he is now coming clean about what he has done in the past 2 years and I am amazed at what he was able to put over on me. I hope for your sake that he is being truthful, but I wouldn't rule out a surprise test either.

[Kerri to Shelly, Brian and Brighty]

Samantha, Thanks for the insight. Did he really set you up like that? Having you flush a pill in front of him to make you think he wasn't using? And he did it more than once? Wow. I guess the thought did cross my mind that maybe he was setting me up. It was a little too convenient, timing wise. Of course, I pushed it out of my mind real fast. But, I guess I will continue to be cautious with my trust. And maybe I will even ask him if that's what happened... I know what the answer will be, though...  "no, honey, of course not" or angrily, "how could you think that?"

Well,  thanks again for the support. I hope all goes well with you and yours. Do you notice improvement? Are you trusting him yet? How long has he been clean? What was he on? You don't have to answer, I'm just curious. And I find it helps me to hear about other situations to give me a more rounded view of things.

I think I am going to buy a drug test, just to have on hand. And maybe I'll even make him take it, just to set my mind at ease. He did say he would go to NA meetings if I wanted him to. But I don't want him to go just because of me. He needs to go because he wants to be there. But, if I ask him to, maybe he will get something out of it anyway and continue going on his own because he wants to. Who knows. All I know is that I love him and I need to try to make this marriage work. I want to celebrate our 1st year not with suspicion but with happiness. Even if it is just for that one day.

[FROM SAMANTHA TO PAM]

Yes, he did quite a job with my trust. He was using Vicodin and recently (2 1/2 weeks ago) went into a medically supervised treatment program. I am already starting to see positive changes. Its amazing how much he and his personality were affected by using. It really changed him. The trust is not back yet..he has to earn that. I'm not expecting a complete change overnight, but seeing him progress will definately help. I did tell him that there is the possibility that I will ask him to take a drug test from time to time. I really don't want to have to do that, but if I start to doubt him, having that option will definately help. He has said to me that the craving and need for the pills became greater than anything else. Even though he knew he was hurting himself and me, he was unable to stop until he finally hit his own personal rock bottom. No matter what you say or what you do, an addict will not face the problem until they are ready to. If they attempt to stop just to please others, it probably won't be a very effective attempt. What did your husband do AFTER detox to help himself? How long was he using for? I hear mixed things about AA or NA..it definatley isn't for everyone. I do hope you can enjoy your anniversary. let me know...

[diana]

Drug test him.  You must know the truth or you have nothing.  In my case, 2 small kids are involved that come first!  He watches them while I work at night, and I can't take the chance of heroin again.  I never thought he would lie so much AND pay to have a drug test from the clinic altered.  Fooled once, not twice.  Just tested a week ago.... clean!  I still keep my eyes open wide.... trust not fully back yet.  Put the good Lord first.... that helps.