How Many Times?

[gizzy32]

In no way does this post condone relapsing, but the reality is that relapse does happen and each one seems to become tougher to get back up from. We must learn the reasons we  fell back and learn so it does not keep happening. I like these polls and the percentages it shows, so my question is how many times have you relapsed in the past. What was the biggest thing you learned from relapsing so you don't make the same mistake.

[tweetypie89]

The harder it is to get bk up when you relapse each one makes you stronger,and
you get more mind strong and you will hate yourself you will do it other wise you
wouldnt be writing to someone.Sometimes we get knocked down we have to get bk up and start again,on differrent path takecare lookafter yourself.

[chanandalerbong1]

i am currently right in the middle of a relapse myself... i think i have learned quite a bit though so im not really upset it happened... i figured out that i am highly co dependant on my wife. and just the opposite of what you would think... i dont depend on her for care, i depend on caring for her so much i dont have to worry about myself and my own stuff.... but i also realized i always have to be on my toes... i was terrified i would relapse on opiates.. i wasnt even thinking i could EVER relapse on anything but my d.o.c. but then the meth snuck up and bit me right in the you know what. actually thats a lie. i dont think those things just sneak up on you i think its a thought out process that we choose. maybe not like hey i really want to screw myself up but i mean i have 2 years under my belt. i feel i should know better... i dunno maybe im beating myself up but i think its important to own our addiction and take responsibility for our actions. i dunno. those are just my thoughts on it...

-Mason.  

[jillian6]

I have quit quite a few times.  This last time I got serious and started using these boards for support and I see an addiction counselor.  I asked my doc to drug test me randomly (I have to pass to keep my job) and I told my husband and older kids - I have tried to finds ways to be held accountable.

Like everyone said, I know if I took just one pill, I wouldn't stop.  I usually find my cravings the worst when I face situations I'm not comfortable with.  Now I am trying to accept myself and the fact that I need to relearn how to live drug free.  For me, it's been a long process and the last time I was drug free, I remained that way for 5 years but that was over 10 years ago.  That gives me hope that my brain will start working without the use of pills :)

[kim715]

I had so many relapses I honestly couldn't give a number,lost track of them.Things changed for me when I realized I couldn't do it alone.My other attempts at getting clean where half hearted at best.I mean I wanted to but I don't think I was ready to really commit to seeing it through.I think my way of thinking in the past was I wanted to so I would try and do it on my own without telling anyone I was trying to quit.That way if I did that was great but if I didn't I wouldn't be disappointing anyone,but myself of course,and to be 100% honest it was so none of my family or anyone I told could say to me...I thought you quit.I kept it a secret so as not to be held accountable when I messed up.I used the word when not if because looking back I was setting myself up for a fall by not making it so I was held accountable.

[carr]

This is my 3rd attempt at recovery. The first time was 62 days, the second 88 and this time is nearly 8 months. As of April 5th it was the 7 month mark. To prevent me from using, when I get the urge, I remember all the "good things" I allowed addiction to take from me. I remember where it got me in life and I'm still not through with the consequences of my actions. I am facing jail time and really just trying to pick out a "good time" to take care of it all. So, keep in mind all the bad junk that comes with addiction, such as withdrawals, the rat race, the chances we take for the dope and the harmful things we do to our minds as well as our bodies. That should be enough for anyone to stay strong and resist the temptation to use "just one more time".

Peace and Love,
Carrie

[Totsie59]

I am at day 54..I hope I never put another pill in my body...I talked to pharmacist, changed drs. flushed pills I had left...I made a plan..and so far  I have stuck to it...The WDS were sooo bad..I never want to do that again...worse than child birth...LOL

[jollyman069]

i relased one time now i am 43 days clean and sober.. i found out that i didnt have the will power to go back to the pain specialist and not loet him write me the scrip for meds..so when i decided to quit i told him i no longer wanted to take narcotics and he told there was nothing else he could help me with..and like outotown stated i know i cant take just a pill..so i am hoping by shutting off that source my recoverry will work outr plus i go to NA on fridays...i beleive aftercare is very importaant and i come on here everyday  if i dont post i do alot of reading and it helps  thank God for MH and all the great people here youall are a very important part of my recovery

[outotown]

I like the w/ds so well I just have to do it again and again!!! I have learned no matter how far I get in recovery I can and will relaps if I take just 1 pill, and NO I HATE W/DS and each time I say never again but I do. So I know I cannot on me I have to trust in my GOD and not me

[enough170]

i have relapsed once before, this is my second go at trying to quit, so far i have made it 39 days, i hope and pray that i will never use again, but the reality is we are only one tablet away from relapsing, i take each day as it comes hoping and praying that i can continue the fight :-)

[Porthos46]

you did't specify whether the relapse was back to the same drug. I suspect many of us are abusers of multiple drugs but admittedly the opiates seem to be the hardest for me physically...day number five and I got more than 3 hours sleep...it definitely seems to help being active and adding the physical tiredness of a full day keeping relatively busy to the mind numbingly soul sucking tiredness of the physical withdrawal..good luck to all on this road...and my answer to your poll question is over 10 over the course of the last 25 years...nothing to be proud of but the mantra for now is don't give up.

[gizzy32]

I really couldnt give a number how many times i relapsed in the past, it was just so many, but since I got serious about my recovery I have had 3 in the past year and a half, but going on 6 months clean again. The 2 biggest things I have learned is to keep getting support and to never ever let my guard down, that is when my addiction will fight me. No more relapses for me:)