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How can I do this?
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How can I do this?

My name is TJ, i recently graduated high school in 2012. I am 18 years old, and i am addicted to Hydrocodone. I have been taking these pathetic pills for about 6 months. I am so afraid to quit because of the withdrawls. i am so young and can't even start my life because i am too worried about the next pill. I desperately need help, i have been hiding this for so long from everyone and i want to quit to be the man my mom raised me to be. i am alone and depressed and have thought on several occasions of quitting. someone please talk to me and pray for me, i appreciate it more than you will ever know.
42 Comments Post a Comment
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3060903_tn?1390303996
Hi TJ, Welcome to the Addiction's Forum. You're in the right place for support. You're mom has reason to be proud of you son, you're doing the right thing for the right reasons, and you're going to have a wonderful clean and maybe sober life, with the help of other addicts. I certainly am  going to pray for you TJ, you have a great attitude and are an inspiration to me. I wish I had your resolve when I was your age, so many things would have been different for me. Does your mom know of your addiction son?

It would be very helpful for you to tell her and ask for her support through the withdrawals. You're young and strong, and you can get through the flu like symptoms that you're going to feel. Don't worry so much about getting through the flue, okay? We're here to help. Read the Thompson Recipe at the bottom of the page. Lot's of people have used it, and swear by it.

Where are you getting your pills? You need to cut off all sources, and most importantly, arrange for aftercare. Meaning AA, or NA. You need to make clean and sober friends,  Get the books, AA's Big Book will give you alot of support. Having a sponsor that you can call when you feel weak, is essential to many. You can do this TJ, thanks for posting. It brightens up my day immensely to hear that a young man is making this change. You're your mother's pride and joy for a reason I see. God Bless you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I've got 13+ years, long term sobriety is very possible. Listen and stay with the winners.
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3060903_tn?1390303996
Rehab is a great foundation, if that is at all possible. In patient or out patient. There is an Addictions Therapist available to you. Getting clean with other addicts in treatment is a wonderful experience. You're out of school, maybe try that route? I've been to a treatment centre and I'd recommend it to anyone serious about a getting a firm foundation for their sobriety. Best of Luck.
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4149717_tn?1389507161
Everything Nighthawk said was excellent advice! The Thomas Recipe will help alot with the symptoms. I just wanted to give you my support and just tell you that your not alone! Addiction is a disease that grabs on to many many people. It doesnt discriminate. Keep posting for support or if you have any questions, Were all here for you!
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you so much for caring. i havent had anyone care about me in the past 6 months. i was dating this girl for over a year and a half and wanted to marry her until she cheated on me with one of my close friends. thats when i started taking the pills. i get them from a local dealer and i am deleting all my contacts right now. my mom doesnt know about my addiction and i dont want to tell her because i know she will judge me. i need to quit so i can be a great son and achieve what i need to. my dreams have been to start a clothing line and have the world wearing my clothes. this addiction has done nothing but ruin my life. only 1 person knows about my addiction and its my bestfriend hunter. he hates it and wishes i would quit. i need to quit. thank you so much for your help. ive never met a more generous and caring person as yourself
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you so much, i cant explain how thankful i am for your help. it is so hard, i am so afraid of the withdrawls its not even funny. i want to quit so i can start my dreams and be the best man i can and show my dad who left me that i can be a better man than he ever was. thank you again from the bottom of my heart.
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3060903_tn?1390303996
You're so welcome!!! You can do this without telling your mom. Just to let you know though, if it were my son I would be so grateful that he allowed me to help him. The thing is that it's important to admit defeat and the more people that know, the more accountable you are. It's something to think about. Teresa told her mother, and expected to be judged, but was not. You may be selling your mom short. But listen, you can do this without telling her too. It is important to think about aftercare and meetings. Reading the books available, and I don't know if you might need her financial support to get around and get involved. THE most important thing is for you to get clean, bar none.  Get ready to detox and stay in bed for a few days with the flu. You can do it. We'll be here for you every single step of the way young man.

By the way, I can't wait to see your clothing line......how wonderful!!!!
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4149717_tn?1389507161
Its true, I fully expected to be shunned and feel more ashamed, instead I felt incredible love and acceptance! One thing I am starting to learn that is difference from every other time I relapsed before is that we are only as sick as our secrets! and its so true! The more people you have to be accountable to, and the more people who you can get on your "team", the better chance you have of beating this.

Either way, your making the right choice and that is to stop this train your on!
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4341997_tn?1380655144
Hi TJ...and welcome!  It's so awesome that at your age you want to get clean and off pills!  i was on hydro for many years and have 42 days clean thanks to this site and the people on it....i see a counselor and recently started NA meetings as well.....just please know that you CAN get thru WDs....just think of it as the flu for a few days.....we are here for you and will help you get thru them! Just please keep posting and ask any questions that you need to....we will be here for you!  you are young and will get your life together...you have alot of years ahead of you and goals so that is a great incentive!  you can do it!  i know you can!  
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey Soldier, Rushing , but had to chime in. You may have said but I just scanned responses. How many pills and what mg do you take a day. I promise the fear of w/d is much worse than going thru them. Is your friend Hunter willing or able to help you while detoxing? I have to say I have a son your age and if he were to come to me with this problem I would hug him so hard. As young adults we think and worry our parents love is unconditional. It isn't. Unless your Mom would add to your problem, please consider telling her. I t will just make the journey easier. You are a remarkable person to catch this at this early stage. We all care and will be here for you.
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you so much. i am trying so hard to quit and i just told my sister about my addiction and she is so proud of me and is willing to help me through it all. i prob will start WD tomorrow morning because the last pill i took was this morning around 11. i am ready to quit and am excited kind of as weird as that sounds. im ready to be clean and be all i can, i cant thank you enough and please keep replying to me to walk with me through this :( thank you again
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you so much, everything you say is making me shed tears, i am so grateful for kind people like you for making this easier for me. i prob will start WD tomorrow morning since the last pill i took was this morning around 11. i am ready and want this all to be over so i can be healthy and back to my old self. thanking you wouldn't be enough, i greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm not sure of your time zone, but if your still feeling ok and your last pill was 11am, your going to be fine. Just keep telling yourself you have the flu. and it will go away in a few days. Remember hot baths, lots of liquids, lean protein and even if you don't feel too sparky, make yourself get some physical exercise each day. Music is a huge distracter as well as movies. Don't overthink this thing. Make it simple and just get thru it. Attitude is everything. As Gnarly says, "ya gotta just be ok with not being ok for a bit". Your going do fine.
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4341997_tn?1380655144
you're so welcome!  I just want you to get back to your old self and be happy!  you have alot of life to live and this site is awesome!  the people on here helped me 6 wks ago when i was scared and alone....it really will be like the flu for you since you are young and strong....just keep posting here and don't be scared.....many many people have done it and so can you!  we are here for you!  just let us know if you have any questions....keep you head up you are doing a great thing!  
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4584658_tn?1356827715
such a great quote and i am ready for the WD, i just need you guys to keep helping me. i am so grateful for you. how long do the WD usually last?
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you so much! how long do the WD usually last? i prob will start mine tomorrow and im afraid yet excited that i actually am ready to quit this time. if there is any advice you can give please send it my way, thank you so much
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4149717_tn?1389507161
The worst of them are about 3-5 days, but everyone is a little different
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4341997_tn?1380655144
the worst for me was first 3-4 days....then it would get better...but i was on them alot longer than you and i'm older so it might not be that bad for you...just get supplies before you start if you can....gatorade, ensure or boost or carnation instant stuff...you might not feel like eating but you HAVE to hydrate...if not you will feel worse....check out the Thomas recipe at the bottom right corner...just get what you need from it.....sleep when you can....eat when and what you can...soup, crackers....anything...fruit, bananas are great....and Imodium (immodium) is a must cuz your tummy will be upset....please feel free to PM me if you have any questions you don't want seen on here by the public.... i will help you any way i can!  i know it's a scary thing.....but i KNOW you can do it...we will be here every step of the way....i promise
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Avatar_f_tn
Everyone is different and it depends on how much and how high the dose was. For most people it's 3-5 days. Many can work thru w/d's and be ok. I layed in bed for a few days then had to resume normal life. Each day gets better and better as long as you eat something or at least drink a protien drink. I w/d many times before I knew what it was and just thought I had a bad cold. Once we know wheat it is, it seems worse. Just don't worry, hey...you may not get any symptoms!
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4584658_tn?1356827715
thank you for believing in me! it means so much to me. i hope my WD is only for a little, and i got protein, im going to try to get immodium if i can as well. i have a jacuzzi and i am going to drink lots of fluids. i just need my supporters (you) and i believe in myself i can do it.
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4584658_tn?1356827715
i cant say thank you enough for believing in me. i think im ready to do it, wait scratch that i am ready to do it. i wont pick up another pill ever again. if im in pain i will take the pain as it comes because pain will go away but losing my life or people i care about wont go away. you're saving my life.
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4341997_tn?1380655144
oh yea....a jacuzzi will do wonders for you!!  i was taking hot baths 2-3 times a day at first.....it's great for achy muscles and to relieve any stress....and we will be here for you!  try not to worry about the WDs...they are usually not as bad as we think they will be!  and you may not even have that bad of symptoms....just keep posting and we will get you thru it!  
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1718855_tn?1386167244
Well dude, sounds like u r on the right path now u have to stay the course...u ne ver said how many pills u were taking , how many a day?
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4204073_tn?1361835076
Hey kiddo...Im so proud of you for recognizing your problem and nipping it in the bud so soon.   Many of us started and stopped so many times over the years and soon 20 years have gone by!   And it only gets worse as the years go by.   You can never let your guard down with any substance.    Your wd time and intensity will vary depending on what you were taking, how much and for how long.   I would guess that in 3 to 4 days you should be feeling better.   Just keep asking questions and reaching out for help and we will walk you through this.   Sending you hugs!  
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4584658_tn?1356827715
i was taking about 4 norcos a day:/
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4341997_tn?1380655144
well 4 a day isn't that high of a dose.....just so glad that you decided to quit before it escalated to alot more.....and it would have.....it does for all of us....

just keep us posted on how you are feeling etc.....the WDs are doable, especially from that dosage if that's all you were taking......we are here for you for support or if you have any questions.....  :)  keep posting!
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3200158_tn?1386596317
little brother,, your doin just fine..give it about a week for wdraws.......look at you reaching out,,,, connecting with all these great gals.......im sorry you got yor heart broke,.bud  but you gotta know, thats what hearts are for.....aint no excuse for substance abuse.....i know that sounds a little clinical,,,   but .  W TF .   keep on keepin pn .   .............kenny
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Avatar_f_tn
Morn'in Soldier, Hope your still on track and not feeling to bad. Kenny addressed something very important. You'll have much more emotional hurdles to overcome in your wonderful life ahead. Ya don't want to get the misguided idea that pills or any substance will make those times any easier to deal with. You've now shown that you can and do solve problems as they come up. Look at you now getting this behind you. Tap in and let us know how your fairing ok?
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495284_tn?1333897642
All of us here are incredibly proud of you Soldier.  You keep that positive attitude going and you can achieve anything you put your mind too.  Your hopes and dreams can become your reality~sara
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4149717_tn?1389507161
How are you holding up today?? Post an update when you can to let us all know! Im really pulling hard for you!
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Avatar_f_tn
You can do this.. Stay strong
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480448_tn?1383222375
I just wanted to also add my support.  You are a very intelligent, and insightful young man...that comes screaming through in your posts.  Congrats for finding the courage to tell your sister too, that's amazing.  The more support you can get, the better.  

I agree with the others about your Mom, she probably would be your biggest cheerleader and source of support.  She would want to know and would want to help you.  I'm a Mom, and would want my kids to come to me, no matter what.  Of course she will be maybe a little surprised and sad...but she won't judge you.  She'll realize you just need some help.  You're young with your whole life ahead of you...it's great that you figureg this out before you were years into it.  Only good things will happen from here.

I'm anxious to hear how you're doing.  You CAN and WILL do this.  We're all behind you!
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1645684_tn?1356653200
Like many others here have stated, you have a good outlook and deffinitely seem to have your head on straight, especially for your age. I had been attempting to get clean since I was about 16 and finally got it this april shortly before turning 24. I don't see many people my/your/our age really grasp recovery and want it too badly so when I do it means a lot to me. Send me a private message if you want to talk and I'll even throw you my home phone # to talk man. Someone here did that for me on this site a long time ago and he will always be remembered and appreciated for that. The least I can do is try to pay that foward. And also like some others said, the DT's from a few norcos are nothing like coming of 100mg of methadone or a gram of heroin a day. Which is where your addiction will progress to in the future if not dealt with now. Keep the faith TJ and don't hesitate to contact me.
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you everyone for your support, I couldn't bring the courage to quit, i feel like such a coward, and want to take my life. I plan on quitting Monday, Monday is my day for sure, i have to quit this, i'm done with this life style. i met a new girl, who is amazing and i am in love with her. I wanna quit for her. i wanna quit for ME most of all, and my mother. thank you so much for your support it means the absolute world to me, much love from my little heart.
-TJ
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4341997_tn?1380655144
Glad you are back TJ!!   is there a specific reason why Monday is the day?  Why not today?  Please know that your life is SO worth living...please don't take that away from yourself and your family....stay here with us....we can help you!  I PROMISE it does get better.....just let us help you! Many before us have done it and i know you can too.......you just have to want it!   Keep posting for support either way!  we really do want to help you succeed!
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4626633_tn?1382600722
TJ, please think of telling your Mom! I have a son your age. I would do anything for him!
A mothers love is something you don't understand. It's the strongest love out there.

I'm willing to bet she would do anything in her power to help you!

But please please keep posting!! We are here for you!!
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Avatar_f_tn
TJ....I followed your story and it truly broke my heart.  I have a son(actually 2) your exact age and I would do anything to help them.  It would kill me to know they were going through something like this and I wasn't able to help them.  Please think about confiding in your mom and letting her help you.  

You can absolutely do this!  Stay focused on the goal!
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Avatar_f_tn
Tj, I want to give you my opinion also on telling your mother. Believe me when I say that when you are a mother, nothing and I do mean NOTHING that your child ever does, makes you stop loving them or supporting them. Sure....she may be upset with you, but can you honestly tell me she's never been like sooo pi$$ed at you she couldn't see straight? And she got over it right? And parents don't judge their children, after all, they are an extension of themselves. And I also believe you must tell her so that there is some accountability. It's so much different when you tell a very important person in your life what you're trying to do, because once you have, you try harder to achieve that goal. I'm 39 yrs old, and five days into my w/d's I called my dad and yeah...I did say 39...and told him everything...just because I know I can't let him down too and choose pills over life. It doesn't matter what age you are, your parent(s) have your back!! Think about it :)
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1235186_tn?1339127464
hi TJ, my daughter is 21 years old. she had been abusing drugs for a few years. I knew she was. she always denied it. she stole money and jewelry from me. she was in a dysfunctional relationship with a guy who introduced her to opiates in the last year and a half.

as mom's we have an intuition about our children we know when something isn't right with them.  when they hurt, we hurt, when they are sad, we are sad. I think your mom might already know that there is something wrong. . has she ever mentioned anything to you about it?

my daughter made a decision that changed the course of her life 4 months ago. she went into a Christian rehab and is still there. she is doing awesome. I want to tell you that I am very proud of her for going. she knew she needed to do it for her. addiction only ends in terrible ways, jail, institutions, or death.
when I see an obituary of a young person that wasn't in an accident and didn't have an illness I know they died of an overdose. it is a real consequence of drug abuse. in my surrounding towns we have had more young people die  then I care to remember who have overdosed. friends of my 2 oldest children have died.
your mom will be happy that you were honest with her and asked her for help. if something would have happened to my daughter and I know that I didn't get to help her I would have been heartbroken.
we are here to support you and encourage you.
get rid of all the pills you have, cut off everyone you know who does drugs.
don't worry about a girlfriend right now. you need to get yourself clean.
ask your mom to let you go to a psychologist, talk to a pastor, go to an aa or na meeting. reach out to a trusted adult for help.
I am praying for you,
Debbie
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4149717_tn?1389507161
Hi TJ, Im so glad you found your way back here!! I have been thinking about you and worried that you were ok! I know that its hard for you but youre so young and you have your whole life ahead of you. As others have said, your mom would be heartbroken to know your suffering like this! You should try and talk to her if you can. EIther way, I am glad your back and please keep talking to us!! We are all here for you!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Honey, please don't say that you're thinking of taking your life over this.  It's NOT worth that.  Quitting is basically easy and won't hurt anyone.  If you aren't here anymore, your mama and sister would be crushed.  So, let's just work on quitting, and that way you can be all that you want to be and accomplish all sorts of wonderful things in your life!

I think that you should just stop right now!  Monday is still two days away!  Anything can happen when we use for even a day.  I don't want that to happen to someone so young and obviously sweet.  You clearly care a lot for your family.  Your sis will be proud of you like mine is of me!  I used for probably 15 years, but I've been clean for almost 3.  You can do it too!!!!  And you'll have your entire life ahead of you and won't have to waste years on drugs the way I did and the way a lot of people here did!

So let's work on quitting and stop talking about not living!  You have a LOT of living ahead of you honey!
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4584658_tn?1356827715
Thank you everyone for the help. it means the absolute world to me. Im sure you all will be happy to know that today is my official quit day. i deleted all my dealers numbers, and threw out all my pills. i did something horrible recently that changed my life. Someone sold me fake pills for a lot of money, me and a buddy ran in that guys house with loaded weapons and threatened to take his life if i didnt get my money back. i realized this isnt me. this sint what i do. im the nicest guy you will ever meet if you ask anyone. i care about people i dont even know. im glad i decided that today is my day to quit. the WD are horrible already. does anyone have any suggestions on keeping the WD down? once again thank you all so much for helping me and not judging me in any way. You all have a big spot in my heart and love you all  so much
-TJ
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470217_tn?1360568961
Good for you for not wanting to continue on this path. I put off quitting for nearly a year, I was so afraid of withdrawals. Withdrawals can be bad, but I've read more than one person write that the withdrawals weren't as bad as the FEAR of withdrawals. There are lots of great suggestions on this forum for making it easier to go through.

How much have you been taking?
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