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How can we beat addiction without "surrendering"
Hi all,
Been about a month since I posted on the board. At that time I was almost 3 weeks clean from Lortab 10's about 4-5 per day. I know that doesn't seem like much but that was where I was at. It was my addiction. Still is in a sense. I fell off the wagon for a month due to excessive stress in my life at the time. That is totally no excuse for my relapse, but it did happen and I take full responsibilty.
Since then, I have been in "e-mail" therapy with someone I met here on the board and they have been truly a God-send to me and my husband. I am learning how to surrender to my addiction. I do not have the power to control it. If I did have that power, then it would not be a problem then would it?
My question I would like for us all to consider is: How can we possibly stay in recovery without surrendering to the addictions we have no matter what they are. I am not pushing AA or NA, but they do have a good program that has kept my brother clean and sober now for almost 18 yrs. He had tried "everything" to get clean and sober with no success until he surrendered and began to get to the root of his addiction. What is the root of my addiction? I am working on that at this moment.
I am just curious to what other ways an addict could recover without surrendering and working the thought process within themselves an someone else to get to the root of why we feel we have to use, whatever our drug of choice might be. I would be interested in hearing of the variety of programs or ways one can become clean and sober and stay in recovery.
For me, as I know it has been for everyone on the board that is an addict or has someone they love who is an addict, it has been a roller coaster. I am now Day 4 clean. It has been much easier this time around than the last. Wd's haven't been anywhere as bad as before. I have started the amino acid therapy and other added supplements.
Just wanted to share my thoughts about surrender. I am still working that one out as we speak. I can overcome and be in recovery, but I alone don't have the power to control demons. I am trying to surrender it all to God above who I know will get me through it one day at at time....
Peace and Love,
Until Then,
LL
Been about a month since I posted on the board. At that time I was almost 3 weeks clean from Lortab 10's about 4-5 per day. I know that doesn't seem like much but that was where I was at. It was my addiction. Still is in a sense. I fell off the wagon for a month due to excessive stress in my life at the time. That is totally no excuse for my relapse, but it did happen and I take full responsibilty.
Since then, I have been in "e-mail" therapy with someone I met here on the board and they have been truly a God-send to me and my husband. I am learning how to surrender to my addiction. I do not have the power to control it. If I did have that power, then it would not be a problem then would it?
My question I would like for us all to consider is: How can we possibly stay in recovery without surrendering to the addictions we have no matter what they are. I am not pushing AA or NA, but they do have a good program that has kept my brother clean and sober now for almost 18 yrs. He had tried "everything" to get clean and sober with no success until he surrendered and began to get to the root of his addiction. What is the root of my addiction? I am working on that at this moment.
I am just curious to what other ways an addict could recover without surrendering and working the thought process within themselves an someone else to get to the root of why we feel we have to use, whatever our drug of choice might be. I would be interested in hearing of the variety of programs or ways one can become clean and sober and stay in recovery.
For me, as I know it has been for everyone on the board that is an addict or has someone they love who is an addict, it has been a roller coaster. I am now Day 4 clean. It has been much easier this time around than the last. Wd's haven't been anywhere as bad as before. I have started the amino acid therapy and other added supplements.
Just wanted to share my thoughts about surrender. I am still working that one out as we speak. I can overcome and be in recovery, but I alone don't have the power to control demons. I am trying to surrender it all to God above who I know will get me through it one day at at time....
Peace and Love,
Until Then,
LL
Wow! Interesting stats. Only 4% over 45. I wonder what the explanation for that is? I know a hanful of "oldtimers" including myself who as we got older we (I'm 46) began to get aches and pains, tooth issues, etc and end up relapsing on opiates.
I wonder where the rest go? Jails, insanity or death? Or do they just not participate in meetings anymore. What do you think? I have no idea. I do know when I would go to meetings there were still many people with over ten years clean that were still at the meetings. Not as many but quite a few.
Thanks for sharing that with me. I think you should take a committment of service and just let them know when they elect you that theres a chance you may have to move or give up the service committment. I know here we have a hard time getting people to do service. We'd be glad if someone stepped up even if it were temporary.
People here know about my relapse. I don't go to meetings because more often then not I hear about another treasurers pot being stolen, or oldtimers 13th stepping newcomers, or members destroying hotels we have our conventins in or campgrounds we camp in. Seems so many aren't working the steps and don't mind saying it. It has sort of become a gathering place for people to talk the talk but not walk the walk in how they treat each other.
I will eventually either try another area or maybe AA (never thought I'd ever say that, I was always strictly NA).
NA here (in my area) isn't what it was back in 1986. Man, back then we were afraid to even steal a pack of gum because we thought that thinking would lead us back to active addiction. Nowadays people here with 10 years or more are stealing from the fellowship! Blows my mind.
I'd like to hear about other areas and how it is. I hope it is still an honest program there.
Have a great day and don't forget to write a gratitude list when you are feeling down. There are so many great tools like that I learned in NA.
I wonder where the rest go? Jails, insanity or death? Or do they just not participate in meetings anymore. What do you think? I have no idea. I do know when I would go to meetings there were still many people with over ten years clean that were still at the meetings. Not as many but quite a few.
Thanks for sharing that with me. I think you should take a committment of service and just let them know when they elect you that theres a chance you may have to move or give up the service committment. I know here we have a hard time getting people to do service. We'd be glad if someone stepped up even if it were temporary.
People here know about my relapse. I don't go to meetings because more often then not I hear about another treasurers pot being stolen, or oldtimers 13th stepping newcomers, or members destroying hotels we have our conventins in or campgrounds we camp in. Seems so many aren't working the steps and don't mind saying it. It has sort of become a gathering place for people to talk the talk but not walk the walk in how they treat each other.
I will eventually either try another area or maybe AA (never thought I'd ever say that, I was always strictly NA).
NA here (in my area) isn't what it was back in 1986. Man, back then we were afraid to even steal a pack of gum because we thought that thinking would lead us back to active addiction. Nowadays people here with 10 years or more are stealing from the fellowship! Blows my mind.
I'd like to hear about other areas and how it is. I hope it is still an honest program there.
Have a great day and don't forget to write a gratitude list when you are feeling down. There are so many great tools like that I learned in NA.
There is to no parrallel to one addict helping another. Empathy as opposed to sympathy. We love ya "because" you are an addict, not "even though" you are an addict. In my 19 yrs in 12 step program I helped sooo many (well my higher power supplied the power, I just did the footwork) and there is nothing that compares to it. Who else could understand us better than one of our own? Just like the parents who lost children. Who else could help with that better than someone who has been there? I would have no idea how to help someone who lost a child, can't even imagine that pain. It's every parent's nightmare.
Well I helped people and then went and relapsed. SO I guess it is good to know that once we are addicts, we may become free from active addiction but the potential is always there. When I got clean in the 80's the counselors told me it was like (ok, weird analogy but worked for me at the time)
a cucumber that becomes a pickle. You can take the pickle out of the pickling solution to keep it from shriveling up any further but it will never become a cucmber again. Hmm, I was very happy being a "pickle" after that....ok I'm gonna go now cuz i may be sounding ridiculous (talking about pickles and stuff) lol!
Well I helped people and then went and relapsed. SO I guess it is good to know that once we are addicts, we may become free from active addiction but the potential is always there. When I got clean in the 80's the counselors told me it was like (ok, weird analogy but worked for me at the time)
a cucumber that becomes a pickle. You can take the pickle out of the pickling solution to keep it from shriveling up any further but it will never become a cucmber again. Hmm, I was very happy being a "pickle" after that....ok I'm gonna go now cuz i may be sounding ridiculous (talking about pickles and stuff) lol!
Okay,
I have 2 things to say.
1.) Ausome Post and reply's, good job, regardless of believe...it got alot on thinking, and testomies up oo your post, and we all need help! AMEN!
2.) Shoot me an email, when you get a chance: < ktodd_savedbygrace***@**** >
Thanks my friend!!!!
God Bless,
Todd
I have 2 things to say.
1.) Ausome Post and reply's, good job, regardless of believe...it got alot on thinking, and testomies up oo your post, and we all need help! AMEN!
2.) Shoot me an email, when you get a chance: < ktodd_savedbygrace***@**** >
Thanks my friend!!!!
God Bless,
Todd
BTW...my best friend did reach out and help others from all over our state here in Mississippi. She is an officer in the group Compassionate Friends and has made a world of difference in the lives of so many parents who have lost children. Only a yr ago, I lost a little girl who I babysat for the first yr of her life. She was only 4 at the time she died in a car accident. Her father is now a very active member of the nationwide group called Compassionate Friends.
Just thought I would add that. She still suffers to this day and always will, but she has her "pity-parties" as she calls them, then gets up and is on her way to help another grieving family.
Imagine how we could help others and really how we are helping each other on this board. Stay strong everyone.
Until Then,
LL
Just thought I would add that. She still suffers to this day and always will, but she has her "pity-parties" as she calls them, then gets up and is on her way to help another grieving family.
Imagine how we could help others and really how we are helping each other on this board. Stay strong everyone.
Until Then,
LL
Wow! Interesting stats. Only 4% over 45. I wonder what the explanation for that is? I know a hanful of "oldtimers" including myself who as we got older we (I'm 46) began to get aches and pains, tooth issues, etc and end up relapsing on opiates.
I wonder where the rest go? Jails, insanity or death? Or do they just not participate in meetings anymore. What do you think? I have no idea. I do know when I would go to meetings there were still many people with over ten years clean that were still at the meetings. Not as many but quite a few.
Thanks for sharing that with me. I think you should take a committment of service and just let them know when they elect you that theres a chance you may have to move or give up the service committment. I know here we have a hard time getting people to do service. We'd be glad if someone stepped up even if it were temporary.
People here know about my relapse. I don't go to meetings because more often then not I hear about another treasurers pot being stolen, or oldtimers 13th stepping newcomers, or members destroying hotels we have our conventins in or campgrounds we camp in. Seems so many aren't working the steps and don't mind saying it. It has sort of become a gathering place for people to talk the talk but not walk the walk in how they treat each other.
I will eventually either try another area or maybe AA (never thought I'd ever say that, I was always strictly NA).
NA here (in my area) isn't what it was back in 1986. Man, back then we were afraid to even steal a pack of gum because we thought that thinking would lead us back to active addiction. Nowadays people here with 10 years or more are stealing from the fellowship! Blows my mind.
I'd like to hear about other areas and how it is. I hope it is still an honest program there.
Have a great day and don't forget to write a gratitude list when you are feeling down. There are so many great tools like that I learned in NA.
I wonder where the rest go? Jails, insanity or death? Or do they just not participate in meetings anymore. What do you think? I have no idea. I do know when I would go to meetings there were still many people with over ten years clean that were still at the meetings. Not as many but quite a few.
Thanks for sharing that with me. I think you should take a committment of service and just let them know when they elect you that theres a chance you may have to move or give up the service committment. I know here we have a hard time getting people to do service. We'd be glad if someone stepped up even if it were temporary.
People here know about my relapse. I don't go to meetings because more often then not I hear about another treasurers pot being stolen, or oldtimers 13th stepping newcomers, or members destroying hotels we have our conventins in or campgrounds we camp in. Seems so many aren't working the steps and don't mind saying it. It has sort of become a gathering place for people to talk the talk but not walk the walk in how they treat each other.
I will eventually either try another area or maybe AA (never thought I'd ever say that, I was always strictly NA).
NA here (in my area) isn't what it was back in 1986. Man, back then we were afraid to even steal a pack of gum because we thought that thinking would lead us back to active addiction. Nowadays people here with 10 years or more are stealing from the fellowship! Blows my mind.
I'd like to hear about other areas and how it is. I hope it is still an honest program there.
Have a great day and don't forget to write a gratitude list when you are feeling down. There are so many great tools like that I learned in NA.
Hi,
I think you did an great job on a "all around aspect of addiction and surrendering"!
I stepped out, so others could share and reply, and you hit the whole questions from both sides, which are correct.
We are addicts, and we do need God - Bottom line. I know you explained it at several different angles, and that is what was so heartfull with all your honesty.
Just wanted to say thanks for all your sharing and input, it was very well balanced, but yet at the end, got to the main point!
God Bless and have a good evening!
Todd
PS: I left this post above for you also, and tzlady had a nice reply also.
I think you did an great job on a "all around aspect of addiction and surrendering"!
I stepped out, so others could share and reply, and you hit the whole questions from both sides, which are correct.
We are addicts, and we do need God - Bottom line. I know you explained it at several different angles, and that is what was so heartfull with all your honesty.
Just wanted to say thanks for all your sharing and input, it was very well balanced, but yet at the end, got to the main point!
God Bless and have a good evening!
Todd
PS: I left this post above for you also, and tzlady had a nice reply also.
Just wanted to say thanks for all the comments regarding my post. When I said "surrender" I meant that I admit that I have a problem and that I cannot control my addiction or my thinking without the help of my Higher Power, which is Jesus Christ my Savior. That being said, I have to surrender EVERY aspect of my life to him, not just my addiction. My mind has to become like the mind of Christ so that I will be fully prepared for what might come my way in certain situations. For myself, I have no control over my addiction. That is why I am having to surrender not just the addiction to Him, but my whole life.
KTodd, thanks for sharing your faith as well as the others who have shared. I am still just an "embryo" in this addiction things. One day at a time for me. If/When I do decide to do meetings, it will probably be AA instead of NA due to the advice that the people who are in NA seem to be a bit more "younger" than me and I might not feel accepted there. I have attended AA meetings with my brother and I seem to enjoy the topics of conversation and the input the addicts give to others.
I agree that we all need each other, even though we have many varying opinions. The fact is, when we reach the point of sustained recovery, we need to not let our experiences with these demons in our lives go without a purpose. We can help others on the road to recovery.
My best friend lost her son 10 yrs ago in an accident. He was only 8yrs old. She cried, she suffered. I once told her in one of our 3 am conversations that she should not let his death go in vain. There are others out there who have lost children and will lose children unfortunately, and she had a gift to reach out and help them find a way of dealing with the grief and helping them in the healing process. We too, as addicts can and need to reach out to others, We do not need to let our pain and suffering go without a purpose when so many others need and want help. But, we can't force it on anybody. We can just share our experiences, our knowledge of what we know to be TRUE and pray for ourselves and them daily.
I thank God everyday that He loves me. I don't even love myself most of the time. That is another issue I am working on on a daily basis. One day at a time.
I wonder so much how in the HELL did I get here, and WHY. But God has his purposes. Everything happens for a reason. He doesn't want us to abuse ourselves and He wont let us stay there as long as we want to help ourselves and cry out to Him for that help.
Again, thanks for sharing...
Until Then, Peace and God Bless
LL
KTodd, thanks for sharing your faith as well as the others who have shared. I am still just an "embryo" in this addiction things. One day at a time for me. If/When I do decide to do meetings, it will probably be AA instead of NA due to the advice that the people who are in NA seem to be a bit more "younger" than me and I might not feel accepted there. I have attended AA meetings with my brother and I seem to enjoy the topics of conversation and the input the addicts give to others.
I agree that we all need each other, even though we have many varying opinions. The fact is, when we reach the point of sustained recovery, we need to not let our experiences with these demons in our lives go without a purpose. We can help others on the road to recovery.
My best friend lost her son 10 yrs ago in an accident. He was only 8yrs old. She cried, she suffered. I once told her in one of our 3 am conversations that she should not let his death go in vain. There are others out there who have lost children and will lose children unfortunately, and she had a gift to reach out and help them find a way of dealing with the grief and helping them in the healing process. We too, as addicts can and need to reach out to others, We do not need to let our pain and suffering go without a purpose when so many others need and want help. But, we can't force it on anybody. We can just share our experiences, our knowledge of what we know to be TRUE and pray for ourselves and them daily.
I thank God everyday that He loves me. I don't even love myself most of the time. That is another issue I am working on on a daily basis. One day at a time.
I wonder so much how in the HELL did I get here, and WHY. But God has his purposes. Everything happens for a reason. He doesn't want us to abuse ourselves and He wont let us stay there as long as we want to help ourselves and cry out to Him for that help.
Again, thanks for sharing...
Until Then, Peace and God Bless
LL
Hey.
I understand where oyu are coming from.
Here are some facts. Taken from "WORLD SERVICE BOARD OF TRUSTEES BULLETIN".
Of the 5,000 NA members responding to an informal poll taken in 1989:
11% were under 20
37% were between 20 and 30
48% were between 30 and 45
4% were over 45
Of the 5,000 NA members responding to an informal poll taken in 1989:
64% were male
36% were female.
This poll is from '89. Maybe the demographics have changed.
I understand where oyu are coming from.
Here are some facts. Taken from "WORLD SERVICE BOARD OF TRUSTEES BULLETIN".
Of the 5,000 NA members responding to an informal poll taken in 1989:
11% were under 20
37% were between 20 and 30
48% were between 30 and 45
4% were over 45
Of the 5,000 NA members responding to an informal poll taken in 1989:
64% were male
36% were female.
This poll is from '89. Maybe the demographics have changed.
Great posts from all. I spent almost 2 decades in NA. Love the program, but am disillusined with the going-ons with the alot of the people there. Its alot like FLaddict said. Maybe I'll try AA now that I'm older. I do know that the steps explain the "surrender" concept better than I can.
Step one is admitting that we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable.
Ok. This doesn't mean we have lost everything, though some may have. It just means we admit theres is a problem We have surrendered to the fact that when we take drugs in any form, the compulsion and obsession returns and creates active addiction. I know I felt powerless when I had to plan my life around my drugs. Can't go to this party or that function, I'll be out of pills. Going on my lunch break to fill a script instead of eating lunch with my colleagues. Whatever that means to you. Of course when I was on heroin it meant more than going to fill scripts on my lunch break. Back then I had no job, car, etc. I had lost everything. It is different this time around with these opiates.
Step 2 is "came to believe in a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" It doesn't have to be God, but it can be. It can be whomever, whatever. Some people just believe in the "power" of the group of NA members, whatever was keeping them clean. And the insanity part. Oh yeah, we are there while in active addiction........knowing something is killing our liver, spirits, lives, yet we just cant' stop. That isn't being empowered or in control.
Anyway. Surrender to me is just realizing the parameters of our addiciton. It is admitting soke of just can't stop just by using our "best thinking".
Again. It isn't for everyone. There are other ways. I have seen more people come to 12 step pragrams and stay clean when they work the steps, formally, with a sponsor. writing out personal inventories., making amends to those they have hurt. Just seems that others choose to come to NA to sit in meetings and repeat what they've read from the books or heard from others and not really absorb it or work the steips and then they go back out and relapse.
Maybe, like FLaddict says, I took my will back. I thought that I was older, and legitimately needed the pain meds, and took them. I still would because I know how badly my back can hurt. But I knew that I should have had someone help keep me accountable for how many I was taking and I didn't do it. sooooooo................thats why im here.
Blessings.
Step one is admitting that we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable.
Ok. This doesn't mean we have lost everything, though some may have. It just means we admit theres is a problem We have surrendered to the fact that when we take drugs in any form, the compulsion and obsession returns and creates active addiction. I know I felt powerless when I had to plan my life around my drugs. Can't go to this party or that function, I'll be out of pills. Going on my lunch break to fill a script instead of eating lunch with my colleagues. Whatever that means to you. Of course when I was on heroin it meant more than going to fill scripts on my lunch break. Back then I had no job, car, etc. I had lost everything. It is different this time around with these opiates.
Step 2 is "came to believe in a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" It doesn't have to be God, but it can be. It can be whomever, whatever. Some people just believe in the "power" of the group of NA members, whatever was keeping them clean. And the insanity part. Oh yeah, we are there while in active addiction........knowing something is killing our liver, spirits, lives, yet we just cant' stop. That isn't being empowered or in control.
Anyway. Surrender to me is just realizing the parameters of our addiciton. It is admitting soke of just can't stop just by using our "best thinking".
Again. It isn't for everyone. There are other ways. I have seen more people come to 12 step pragrams and stay clean when they work the steps, formally, with a sponsor. writing out personal inventories., making amends to those they have hurt. Just seems that others choose to come to NA to sit in meetings and repeat what they've read from the books or heard from others and not really absorb it or work the steips and then they go back out and relapse.
Maybe, like FLaddict says, I took my will back. I thought that I was older, and legitimately needed the pain meds, and took them. I still would because I know how badly my back can hurt. But I knew that I should have had someone help keep me accountable for how many I was taking and I didn't do it. sooooooo................thats why im here.
Blessings.
there is no easy way out of this. If there was? why would anyone want to stay in that misery? it takes hard word. The hardest thing to work on is ourselves.
It is a life-long process. A spiritual process. It is a day at a time process. All we get is a daily reprieve from our disease. We have to do work every day. Didn't we do work every day to get high? How far did we drive to get our drug? How much time did we spend chasing it?
How many hours did we spend thinking about and counting our pills?
It is a long process but it's a beautiful one too. We get to learn about ourselves. We understand more of the world around us. We learn to care for others, we learn to share for and with others. We learn unconditional love. We learn about faith and hope. We learn about learning from our mistakes?? weird.
We begin to enjoy love. We learn how to accept responsibility for our mistakes and make amends where wrong has been done. We learn to FORGIVE. We learn to understand rather then be understood. We learn sympathy, empathy and compassion. We learn to help others. I personally am less self-centered and more God centered.
Please understand. I was really sick. everything i metioned above i lacked. Some addicts do not reach the pain and desperation that i have.
It is a life-long process. A spiritual process. It is a day at a time process. All we get is a daily reprieve from our disease. We have to do work every day. Didn't we do work every day to get high? How far did we drive to get our drug? How much time did we spend chasing it?
How many hours did we spend thinking about and counting our pills?
It is a long process but it's a beautiful one too. We get to learn about ourselves. We understand more of the world around us. We learn to care for others, we learn to share for and with others. We learn unconditional love. We learn about faith and hope. We learn about learning from our mistakes?? weird.
We begin to enjoy love. We learn how to accept responsibility for our mistakes and make amends where wrong has been done. We learn to FORGIVE. We learn to understand rather then be understood. We learn sympathy, empathy and compassion. We learn to help others. I personally am less self-centered and more God centered.
Please understand. I was really sick. everything i metioned above i lacked. Some addicts do not reach the pain and desperation that i have.
s just like what FLaddict and you said..."sometimes I wish I could take my own advise!"
Exactly why we need other recovering addicts in our life. So that they can give us this advice when we are to wound up in our destructive thinking.
We have a disease of addiction. It is a disease of obsession, compulsion, denial and self-centeredness. We have to accept this fact that we are obsessive, compulsive, live in denial and are totally self-centered. How can we get help if we don't know what's wrong with us or are in denial. Once we recognize that we do have these symptoms ( these are our core most obvious symptoms) then we can seek help.
Seeking for help is a process on it's own. A spiritual process. All we have to believe in is something that is greater then us that can restore us to sanity.
I personally don't believe in a demon or a Satan that has taken over our lives. Some people do. So if you believe in that then why not believe that there is a power that is good, loving and caring that can restore us back to sanity (heal us). But just believing in this power is not enough.
We have to turn our will and our lives over to this power. Call it what you will. I call mine God.
Then we have to work on ourselves.
It is a process.
Becoming addicted was a process to.
many of us are looking for that magic formula. I do not believe it exists. It is hard work. We have to change.
Exactly why we need other recovering addicts in our life. So that they can give us this advice when we are to wound up in our destructive thinking.
We have a disease of addiction. It is a disease of obsession, compulsion, denial and self-centeredness. We have to accept this fact that we are obsessive, compulsive, live in denial and are totally self-centered. How can we get help if we don't know what's wrong with us or are in denial. Once we recognize that we do have these symptoms ( these are our core most obvious symptoms) then we can seek help.
Seeking for help is a process on it's own. A spiritual process. All we have to believe in is something that is greater then us that can restore us to sanity.
I personally don't believe in a demon or a Satan that has taken over our lives. Some people do. So if you believe in that then why not believe that there is a power that is good, loving and caring that can restore us back to sanity (heal us). But just believing in this power is not enough.
We have to turn our will and our lives over to this power. Call it what you will. I call mine God.
Then we have to work on ourselves.
It is a process.
Becoming addicted was a process to.
many of us are looking for that magic formula. I do not believe it exists. It is hard work. We have to change.
Do you know what you are surrendering to? If you do not know, how can you surrender?
I used to ask that question a-lot from addicts? How did you surrender? How did it work for you? One friend answered, " You jut know when you had enough pain".
What are you surrendering to?
The fact that you are an addict? OK. then what?
Step 1 in NA says " we admitted we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable".
Powerless over our "disease of addiction".
Has your life become unmanageable? A direct result of active addiction.
Surrender means we stop fighting ourselves. Surrender to the fact that we cant do it alone.
But if you surrender to the fact that you can't do it alone. Who is going to help you? Do you have a program?
Maybe the word you were looking for is "acceptance"? You accept that you are an addict. You don't have to do anything after that. You could still use if you want to.
I used to ask that question a-lot from addicts? How did you surrender? How did it work for you? One friend answered, " You jut know when you had enough pain".
What are you surrendering to?
The fact that you are an addict? OK. then what?
Step 1 in NA says " we admitted we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable".
Powerless over our "disease of addiction".
Has your life become unmanageable? A direct result of active addiction.
Surrender means we stop fighting ourselves. Surrender to the fact that we cant do it alone.
But if you surrender to the fact that you can't do it alone. Who is going to help you? Do you have a program?
Maybe the word you were looking for is "acceptance"? You accept that you are an addict. You don't have to do anything after that. You could still use if you want to.
Hi there,
Thank you very much!
I'm happy to here your in the Hand's of Christ!
Funny though, just like you said, why would be on this forum if we give it all to God? Because like you...after 2 years of bieng sober from alcohol, slowly the meds stepped in (for medical purposes), but lost sight of Who Delivers, and started to not realize, I was falling into a whole different addiction,...yes temptation came, and I fell.
Christian or athiest....we all have free will. Just as Christian's and non-Christians fall short, we all were made with free will to choose, and because we are not perfect, anyone dealing with a temptation can fall short. (and I',m not ashamed not admit that either)
But, I truly know from experience, and millions of others, if we rely on are unperfection, when we have God who is Perfect, than I agree with surrending it all to Him, because He knows me better than myself, and He always will help, if you ask Him.
It's just like what FLaddict and you said..."sometimes I wish I could take my own advise!"
kimmieb, your reply was so ausome and loving (just as FLaddicts), I'm glad that your name was choosen before the foundations of the world!
PS - I love Third Day, and that song- keep Fighting the Good Fight of Faith!
If you want to shoot me an email my address is: ktodd_savedbygrace***@****
My heart and prayer's go out to all,
w/ love Todd
Thank you very much!
I'm happy to here your in the Hand's of Christ!
Funny though, just like you said, why would be on this forum if we give it all to God? Because like you...after 2 years of bieng sober from alcohol, slowly the meds stepped in (for medical purposes), but lost sight of Who Delivers, and started to not realize, I was falling into a whole different addiction,...yes temptation came, and I fell.
Christian or athiest....we all have free will. Just as Christian's and non-Christians fall short, we all were made with free will to choose, and because we are not perfect, anyone dealing with a temptation can fall short. (and I',m not ashamed not admit that either)
But, I truly know from experience, and millions of others, if we rely on are unperfection, when we have God who is Perfect, than I agree with surrending it all to Him, because He knows me better than myself, and He always will help, if you ask Him.
It's just like what FLaddict and you said..."sometimes I wish I could take my own advise!"
kimmieb, your reply was so ausome and loving (just as FLaddicts), I'm glad that your name was choosen before the foundations of the world!
PS - I love Third Day, and that song- keep Fighting the Good Fight of Faith!
If you want to shoot me an email my address is: ktodd_savedbygrace***@****
My heart and prayer's go out to all,
w/ love Todd
I moved to FLa in 2002 not 2004.. not that it matters just.. I am kinda type A so I had to correct it.
Well, in my thinking, who do we surrender to? Who is going to help us once we surrender? God. He's the only way. He's the answer to that question, in my humble opinion. It doesn't make much sense any other way really....
You're absolutely right. We can talk about surrendering and giving up our power over our addiction, etc., etc.,......but everyone seems clueless (not meant in a deragatory way, so please don't take it that way) as to HOW we do that, and to WHOM we surrender. I think it's pretty obvious.
It's interesting though to hear everyone's thoughts. I can almost see the path of their journey from what they say. Some are here, some are there, some haven't gotten anywhere yet.....but I think we all end up at the very same place if we give it up and do it "right."
Lots of praying involved, too (I think Emily(?) mentioned how much she relied on that)
Anyway, again, an opinion and a strong belief. Good to hear others, too. Thanks to everyone for their input. I swear, I think it's what keeps us sane and functioning sometimes when we're in the throes of addiction or w/d's or somewhere in between.
Blessings and prayers for everyone to get to the place Yoda is at now....and then go even farther.... :-)
~K.
You're absolutely right. We can talk about surrendering and giving up our power over our addiction, etc., etc.,......but everyone seems clueless (not meant in a deragatory way, so please don't take it that way) as to HOW we do that, and to WHOM we surrender. I think it's pretty obvious.
It's interesting though to hear everyone's thoughts. I can almost see the path of their journey from what they say. Some are here, some are there, some haven't gotten anywhere yet.....but I think we all end up at the very same place if we give it up and do it "right."
Lots of praying involved, too (I think Emily(?) mentioned how much she relied on that)
Anyway, again, an opinion and a strong belief. Good to hear others, too. Thanks to everyone for their input. I swear, I think it's what keeps us sane and functioning sometimes when we're in the throes of addiction or w/d's or somewhere in between.
Blessings and prayers for everyone to get to the place Yoda is at now....and then go even farther.... :-)
~K.
then we have to work on ourselves with the help of this power.
And correction about destructive thinking. Not all the time destructive. But my best thinking has got me here. Even when I was not using i was making bad decisions. So I need other people in my life who can see me for what i am "an addict" and understand where i am coming from and help me make good choices.
And correction about destructive thinking. Not all the time destructive. But my best thinking has got me here. Even when I was not using i was making bad decisions. So I need other people in my life who can see me for what i am "an addict" and understand where i am coming from and help me make good choices.
Sure God sounds good. But how will he help you? How do you want him to help you? What do you need help with? I do not believe that lots of prayers will do it. We have to change ourselves. It is a long process and takes lots of work. I go to na meetings almost every day. I learned what behaviors and thinking patterns i have to change or adjust. I know who where and what i have to stay away from. I have acquired tools that i can use when i am in a situation that is not safe for me, or how to deal with that situation-who can i call, who can i really on, what have i heard at a meeting through another's addict sharing who was in a similar situation and how he got through it w/o picking up.
And that is where God comes in. I spoke with another addict today and we talked about God.
God will help those who help themselves. That is bottom line. You have to be willing to change. When the pain gets great enough then we do something about it.
And that is where God comes in. I spoke with another addict today and we talked about God.
God will help those who help themselves. That is bottom line. You have to be willing to change. When the pain gets great enough then we do something about it.
I agree (my opinion only :-)) with KTodd's post above -- it all needs to be given up to a higher power (i.e., God and JC if you're a fellow believing Christian). Now why haven't I, as a Christian, been able to accomplish that yet? Well....I think it's because although I SAY I'm ready to give it up to him, I really haven't. I'm still trying to maintain my own control, thinking I can do this on my own....eventually....some day....maybe tomorrow?....but in reality, guess what? I won't be able to....and it's not because of any weakness -- it's just because it's the way it is when you're a believer. God doesn't want us to be addicted, to be hurting, to be in pain....but he DOES want us to come to HIM for strength and healing. I'm a baby Christian, and I'm still learning that and accepting that.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me....." Notice it says ALL things. Not some things. Or things that are kinda easy and not so tough. Or things that don't have to do with addiction. It says ALL things.
Hmmmmm...food for thought.
Again, like others, I'm not trying to be a preacher (I don't know that much yet to preach!), and I completely respect everyone's own journey of faith. I just believe this wholeheartedly, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the question that was posted.
KTodd, way to go. You've found the way and better yet, are continuing to help others find it. It's not YOU who are doing the helping though (and I know you already know that, being a Christian). You are merely the vessel. The hands and feet of Christ. That is awesome, and I'm so happy for you and your new sober life. I'm tellin' ya, only HE can actually take away that burden of always WANTING -- always wanting another drink, another pill, another high.... You found Him and therefore you found the way out of your addiction. We are not strong until we fall down on our knees one day in the depths of despair and cry out to Jesus with every remaining breath we have. When we ask for help, he gives it to us. He makes us strong. He makes us able to say NO MORE. BUT, we have to ask....and we have to be WILLING to receive. We have to have that ready and open and willing heart and mind. Knock, and the door will be opened, seek, and you will find.
To everyone hurting and trying and faltering and falling down and trying again and sitting on the fence "waiting" for that right time, open your heart and seek. KTodd did it. You can too. So can I. We just have to willingly surrender and realize that we are not God!!! Some things are just not meant to do alone.
Congrats, KTodd, and here's wishing the very best of outcomes to everyone else here on this forum trying to break free of an addiction.
If anyone happens to listen to Christian comtemporary music (any K-Love listeners out there??), there's a song by Third Day (I think) called "Cry Out to Jesus." There's a very particular line in that song that speaks directly to anyone trying to break an addiction. I LOVE the song. Listen to it if you have the chance.
Blessings,
~~K.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me....." Notice it says ALL things. Not some things. Or things that are kinda easy and not so tough. Or things that don't have to do with addiction. It says ALL things.
Hmmmmm...food for thought.
Again, like others, I'm not trying to be a preacher (I don't know that much yet to preach!), and I completely respect everyone's own journey of faith. I just believe this wholeheartedly, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the question that was posted.
KTodd, way to go. You've found the way and better yet, are continuing to help others find it. It's not YOU who are doing the helping though (and I know you already know that, being a Christian). You are merely the vessel. The hands and feet of Christ. That is awesome, and I'm so happy for you and your new sober life. I'm tellin' ya, only HE can actually take away that burden of always WANTING -- always wanting another drink, another pill, another high.... You found Him and therefore you found the way out of your addiction. We are not strong until we fall down on our knees one day in the depths of despair and cry out to Jesus with every remaining breath we have. When we ask for help, he gives it to us. He makes us strong. He makes us able to say NO MORE. BUT, we have to ask....and we have to be WILLING to receive. We have to have that ready and open and willing heart and mind. Knock, and the door will be opened, seek, and you will find.
To everyone hurting and trying and faltering and falling down and trying again and sitting on the fence "waiting" for that right time, open your heart and seek. KTodd did it. You can too. So can I. We just have to willingly surrender and realize that we are not God!!! Some things are just not meant to do alone.
Congrats, KTodd, and here's wishing the very best of outcomes to everyone else here on this forum trying to break free of an addiction.
If anyone happens to listen to Christian comtemporary music (any K-Love listeners out there??), there's a song by Third Day (I think) called "Cry Out to Jesus." There's a very particular line in that song that speaks directly to anyone trying to break an addiction. I LOVE the song. Listen to it if you have the chance.
Blessings,
~~K.
As some of you may know I was a member of AA for years after being a hardcore heroin junkie from 15-19. I had lost everything a young bright girl had to lose at that age. One morning in sept of 99 I woke up in my car in the worst neighborhood in Philly. I had what they call in AA 'a moment of clarity". I surrendered. I gave up every notion that I was somehow in control of my addiction or my actions for that matter. I went to rehab (again) and they broke me down and built me back up. I threw myself into AA I went to AA because the NA in my area at the time was having some issues.. 13th stepping.. no one with any real time clean.. etc.. Because I surrendered I had almost no problems staying clean. Using drugs was not even an option that came to my mind ever.. I went to some hardcore BIg Book thumper meetings and had a sponser that was into the old timer way of getting sober.. I started working steps right away.. I even did a formal 3rd step. And because of my age I was one of those people who "grew up " in the program. After some time I started working at a rehab because helping others was something that I benefitted from so much (still do benefit) Years passed and I got busy.. I felt I didn't need AA anymore.. much like Christopher Robin grew up and didn't need Winnie the Pooh anymore.. In 2004. A few years ago I packed up left an awful abusive relationship and moved to Fl to start over.. I never went back to meetings. Within 2 years or so I thought I could take pills for pain after multiple mouth surgeries.. I took my will back. That same will that when I gave it up saved my life. I took it back. Now here I am 26 yrs old. newly married, and I have been addicted to pain meds for 2 years.. struggeling to get off..
So thats my experience on surrender and giving you will up.. I give alot of good advice.. I wish I could take my own sometimes..
So thats my experience on surrender and giving you will up.. I give alot of good advice.. I wish I could take my own sometimes..
And longing4life, I am glad to hear your opinion, and would love to have you tell as you go along learning about AA...would like to learn more about it!
I will check this thread a bit later for the recommendations....gonna go watch a movie with hubby.
No emmy, you didn't seem harsh at all. Just your opinion and I accept that. Thanks for sharing,,,,,
No emmy, you didn't seem harsh at all. Just your opinion and I accept that. Thanks for sharing,,,,,
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