How did you finally decide to quit??

[Spike2654]

ugh, as I sit here trying to get through my first 24 or so hours, knowing the worst is yet to come. I'm trying everything to think of why this is a good thing when my body and mind (GAWD, IT WON'T SHUT UP!!) tells me that I'm such a better person when I'm on my pain pills. Just was curious what your source/determination to finally be done was...

[nonights]

Msdelight you just described exactly my experience. Wow.

[takingmylifeback2014]

Hi Spike Glad to hear your feeling better then last week. :-) Keep going Girl!

[Spike2654]

I am SO glad that I posted this question and to ALL of you and your responses. As I come back to view this on a very cold Monday morning, it is so encouraging to just keep keepin' on. It's been since Wednesday morning that I had anything, and although it's not 'great', I can see that it's better...and better is yet to come. I have set an appointment up with a counselor next Tuesday to start some therapy and work on living. But, I am at work, I feel "ok" (heck, might even get some real work done today, ha!), I was able to go walk on our 80 acres yesterday and feed horses some carrots and apples. It was a beautiful sunshine-y day, and as I stood there in a simple situation of just feeding a carrot to our Maggie I thought "this is what it is about", natural, raw beauty of life. No fillers. Just life.

Thanks everyone.

[weaver71]

I guess it was my respiratory arrest and my wife refused to give me CPR ever  again. She saved me a few times already. I laid gasping for air on the floor looking at my kids bunk bed. I knew they expected to find a corpse in the morning. That 6 or so hours of struggling for my life made me realize I hadn't felt much of years, hadn't had a spiritual experience either. My mind was foggy and I had become a Self centered person. That was not the moment I quit, but when I realized I couldn't quit alone. I searched for help everywhere and 100's of sober people said it was worth the pain to get clean. I saw my dealers and doctors, who both wished they were sober and didn't think drugs were worth it anymore. After I realized my doctor was addict to the same drug as me, I decided to do whatever recovering addicts advised, no matter how it felt, starting with my best friend, then medhelp, then counseling and meetings and classes. When I really started listening to help being offered and ignoring my selfish desire to feel good, I finally quit. They were right, the pain of detox is a small sacrifice for what I have gained. It has been really rough at times and really great at times, but it's all better than treading water until death. There's the short version anyway. Hang in there, it is so worth it. Be good until it feels good and never stop growing. You won't regret it.

[AShellof_Me]

I echo so many of the responses above...! For me, I lost my brain... I couldn't THINK. I couldn't work. I lost my ability to think, function. I lost my home, all of my relationships, ALL of savings... I knew I could not sustain life that way any longer. I fell hard and fast. So grateful for what God has restored in my life.

[katmandu516]

The response to this question is so awesome.  Everyone bearing their souls and telling you their stories. I have to say, I see myself in every story. We are all so alike. And after reading all the success stories, really fills my heart with joy!  Thank you everyone for sharing!!

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

My son and husband.
The thought of (and getting so close to) losing it all had finally ate away any shred of selfishness I had left.
My health, marriage, and future was going down the drain.
If I continued I would've been in trouble legally as well.

I think someone else on here said it best. (Emorody!)
I was tired of everything in between my refills just being filler instead of actually living.
So happy to be where I am now!

[selfinduced]

My kids…..also, I didn't want to be caught in a natural disaster type event and be so zoned out and not be able to help others in need (hurricanes, tornadoes,flooding,brush fires). After 2 years I, still so proud od getting clean. I'll never take a clean drug free body for granted.

[brokenspiritandsoul]

I am with Rosy on this one...Sick and tired or being sick and tired!  I couldn't look in the mirror anymore because of the guilt and shame!  I was no longer worthy of my kids love. Looked in the mirror then at my kids then flushed what I had left. That was 117 days ago!  

[ROSYouralright]

I was sick & tired of being sick and tired!

[Ben727]

My life had become a giant house of cards. I was one bad break from losing everything for the last couple years I was using. I had a knee replacement surgery and I made the decision to quit once I got past the pain from that. Thanks for posting this question, and thanks to everyone answering. It's threads like these that make a difference for me.

[Real180]

I watched a movie while I was going through WDs called Looper... I don't know if any of you saw it (decent movie) But a quote in the end really describes how I felt about my addiction I think this is the quote.... "In that moment I saw it all -- I saw where the current path would lead -- it led to a circle that kept going round and round -- so I changed it"...   That is how I felt about my addiction if I didn't quit..    

[VICourageous]

I am pushing closer to 60 and Death was Knocking on my door! I wanted to add a few more years of living, not dieing..lol

[Emerody]

I had been wanting to quit for some time. Our prescription was getting harder and harder to fill because of all the regulations. Until finally the pharmacy wouldnt fill it anymore. I was tired of living my life prescription to prescription and everything in between just being a filler. I wasnt really living or enjoying things. I made a choice on December 18th to go to rehab, left work and admitted myself that night. Best choice I ever made as I sit here 31 days sober off of painkillers and suboxone. I havent had a single thing but vitamins put into my body and that feels amazing.

[takingmylifeback2014]

LOVE THIS!!! So True Msdelight

[Spike2654]

thank you for your posts. you are all amazing, strong people that deserve the best. you all are truly an inspiration.

[gunn73]

my daughter

[OxyTired]

When my wife caught on that I had found the stash of pills that she doled out-the oxycodone was for back pain-the shame of it all, and the futility was too much. I had years in AA and booze was no longer an issue. Had lived through a terrible benzo withdrawal and now at 60 years old was still in the same cesspool.
My wife asked me if I wanted to try to continue the oxy as prescribed. I told her in all honesty that would not work after gobbling them down like candy for a week, my addict side would never accept that.
I said I was going tp be pretty sick for awhile, and asked her to accept me through another recovery. It was a lot to ask, she has endured my addictive side for years.
I think not wanting to go through all the crazyness and sickness over and over again pushed me towards a100% committment.
I don't do "what if"s anymore, or dwell too much on a crummy past or a future day not yet here.
I just work on "today," with the normal ups and downs that come with being human. I seem to be able to respond a lot better now to life's challenges with a clear head.
I like this question, "How did you finally decide to quit?" you asked, because I ask this of myself from time to time. I have good solid reasons NOW, but I think THEN part of the decision was a power or truth outside of my thinking at the moment I finally threw in the towel. I knew somehow substances would always win if I went into the ring with them. I lose every time when I think "I" have control.
So I require lots of help. My family, friends, MH folks, program people, spiritual people. Truly strength in numbers.
Stii just one day at a time (way oversaid) and way true.

[kyle505]

Your head is telling you lies. You know that so don't listen, or at least understand that they are lies meant to push you to relapse.
My decision wasn't as dramatic as most. My shame became overwhelming. One morning I couldn't look at myself in the bathroom mirror anymore. The years had caught up with me. Simple but monumental. It was cold turkey soon afterwards.
K

[katmandu516]

Left my husband, took a one way trip to Texas, to meet a friend I met on FB, until I finally sobered up enough to realize I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I called my husband and he flew down and got me. It was so scary, being in a strangers house, getting high as a kite, that I don't even remember most of it.  I nearly died. Being close to death and far from home will sober you up real fast!!!

[petsrule]

Love this topic cause it reminds me of why.  ditto to so many situations above and got tired, tired and tired of depending on a drug to live.  Well, what I thought was a life....

[takingmylifeback2014]

Hi Lovie - I was told to NEVER say ONLY on this site lol 23 Days is HUGE for us!!!! :-)

[nonights]

I quit cause we had s plumer at work and someone turned the water faucet on while water was off and didn't turn it back off and water flooded and I didn't know if it was me I didn't remember if I had even tell you where I was. Scared me to death. That's when enough was enough. Hang tough this will pass

[ariley13]

I quit drinking, my true drug of choice, because I was killing myself, literally. I also had recently lost my father to alcoholism and decided I wasn't going to end up like that. When I quit the opiates, it was more an issue of dependence vs addiction, but it could have gotten out of control easily, because I am an addict. I quit because I was out on the road with my truck driver bf and our truck broke down 2,000 miles from home. I missed my doctor's appt and was forced to go through detox. I suppose if I wanted to I could have found some opiates somewhere, but I didn't. I can tell you from my years of active alcoholism and many attempts to quit, that it finally came down to life and death for me. I couldn't stand myself, or what I had become. That outweighed the long, nasty detox process and I finally made it through and stayed sober. Thank God!