How do I get started

[coffeegirl125]

Hi everyone! I am a newcomer-well, not to opiates, but to online support. I battled with opiate addiction many years ago, went through hellish w/ds many times, then stayed clean for years. I did, however, take my ETOH use to the level that I ended up at the ER with BAL's of 3.94 etc. I'm sure the staff wishes I'd just gone ahead and had one more drink so I would have come in in a coma, not just an obnoxious drunk. It's been 5 months since my last drink, BUT I went back to the "ole tabs and percs. Great. I now find myself back in that nightmare. I am full of guilt, self loathing and FEAR of w/d. I have a small supply of pills, cannot afford to take time off to ct and have NO ONE I can confide in. I can see my level of functioning declining and must get off them NOW. In the past my w/d physical sx were so bad that it was hard to pick up a phone for days, much less login to a computer. I'm scared and feel there are few good options. I would welcome any advice. Thank you!!

[coffeegirl125]

Thank you, and thank all of you. I feel better now because I DO have people to talk to. And yes, I am running, but I'm not sure from what. I have been dx with major depressive disorder, but there has GOT to be a way to feel happy without the props! I feel encouraged

[liscamdave]

Definitely Addiction Specialist or counselor. I started therapy after my last relapse and it has done tremendous things for me. It really can be beneficial in helping you understand why you keep turning back to pills. Good luck.

[PoochieRachetToe]

Sounds as if the last thing you need is another pill. You really are going to need to power through, again. You're going to need to take it one minute at a time. I do think you should see a Doctor to help you through withdrawals, but after that. You need to see an addiction specialist. I am curious as to what you are running from? You have been running from something in your life for a long time. In my opinion, you should really address what is causing you to feel that you should live life in a fog. It really is no way to live. The silver lining is, once you get a clear outlook........ the sun is more brilliant, nature is more vivid, water is more stunning...etc. Take back your life. You were never the only one living this way.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  You can do it.  You have been through it before, so you know what to expect.  If you cannot take off work, is there any way you could see a doctor and get some help from them?  I took clonidine (a bp med).  It really helps WDs.  It doesn't take it away, but it makes them tolerable for me.  AND...best of all, it is safe, unlike lots of the benzos.  

[Haddock_Entrap_Propulasion]

Normally I'd say try to taper, if you can, but I don't know how realistic that is under the circumstances.  You're right, there are basically no good options here.  If you can't function while you're on that stuff, then you need to stop, and you'll have to deal with the suffering that's gonna go with that.  You could see about getting suboxone or something to help mitigate the withdrawal symptoms, but if you need to stop "NOW" then that probably isn't practical either. It's gonna be hard no matter what you do, but try and stay in touch with the people on here, even if using a computer is painful; humans are basically social creatures, and having access to support is immensely helpful.  
Good luck!