How do I know if he's using herion again?

[newtimes]

I posted a question on here a while again about wether or not to continue in a new relationship after he'd told me he'd been a herion user for 3 years and had been on the meth program for last 6 months. Well I did ad we've been dating now for 7weeks.
I'm scared he's using again even whilst on the meth, does that happen?
Sometimes he starts to feel unwell and just takes of within minutes..."don't feel well babe I'm going home" I then don't hear from him for a night/day which is not how we normally are in our realitionship. He says he gets migranes and I know it is very possable that that is all it is. The other thing that worries me is that there has been once or twice that I've showed up unexpectadle to his place and his eyes are red and drowsy, I instantly think I must have woken him up but when I say that he just "no I was lying down". Could this be a meth thing or a sign he's using herion again?
I'll probably ask him straight out anyway but how the hell will I know if he's telling the truth anyway. Are there any sure tell signs that he's using again? even if only occasionally. I was prepared to have a relationship with someone that was getting his life back on track, I'm not sure I'm prepared to have a relationship with a herion user, expecially when my own kids are involved.
Is it possable that people go onto the meth program and then use herion whenever they can get or afford it ontop of their meth dose? does it still work? does the docter do regluar blood/urine tests for him to be able to stay on the program? and if so and they find drugs in thier system then what? do they stop the program?
Sorry for all the questions, I'm only just starting to get an understanding of exacally what I've got myself involved in here, unfortunatly herion is a bigger high then love.....  

[lizardonthebrain]

You can smell it when he or she sweats, herio

[Downey]

I have always said if you have to ask the question you already know the answer. If I'm unsure about something in my life I use that rule and I have found it to be true. I hope for you it's not. I also hope he knows how lucky he is to have someone that cares so deeply for him.

Take care,
Downey

[Leah1964]

You've gotten some great info and advice from the others who posted.  I just want to say to trust your gut and trust your instincts.  From my experience, if you are feeling something isn't right and you are having doubts, concerns...then they are probably founded.  Getting out of a relationship early on, no matter how painful, is much easier than months or years of emotional ties.  Good luck and let us know.

[sway1]

think of the drugs, methadone, heroin ar any opiate, as rose colored glasses. he will see things a bit differently and so feel differently and act differently. untill he gets those glasses off and keeps them off long enough for his eyes to adjust, you will be living in 2 different realities. i'm praying for you both to make the right choices. peace, sway

[newtimes]

i wonder if a meth user/herion user can have a successfull relationship with a non drug user, is there a level that we wont be able to content on?

[newtimes]

as much as it would absolutly break my heart I have this dreaded feeling that this isn't a relationship I should be in now, I love him so much but I have a feeling theres stuff going on there that I don't no about. I really really don't want to be taken for a ride.

[newtimes]

sway1 wow that's some pretty heavy stuff, now I kind of don't know what to feel, apart from sad. What sort of things would be holding back from me? he seems so open an honest am I just been a complete fool about this. I'm under the immpression that the meth just calms his pain and cravings and doesn't make him high.Am I able to have a successfull relationship with a loving person on meth? maybe the right thing to do is to call it of untill he's of the drug for a while, but then again whats the difference it would hurt like hell to break it of with him now and it woudl hurt like hell later. how do I get him to open up about the meth and the herion? is that possable?  

[dogatron]

I'm actually in support of the use of methadone who don't feel ready to be a person without drugs, but who DO want their life under a little more control. It is common for people to use heroin on top of methadone. Methadone is effective in stopping withdrawl but doesn't effect the receptors involved in the high of heroin- i.e. you can still enjoy heroin whilst on methadone. Some heavier users use methadone purely as a 'top up' to be more cost effective (in the UK most methadone patients get their prescriptions free, so it makes sense).


I would say that his habits will be what 'gives away' if he is still using- rather than physical signs. Methadone is a synthetic opiod and as such side effects are similiar. It would be unfair to accuse him of using (as if he hasn't he will feel demoralised) simply because he seems sleepy, etc.

The fact that you've had to ask, however, suggests a lack of trust and the presense of doubt. On top of this your responses appear to be justifying what you originally said worried you rather than looking deeper into these issues. Perhaps you would LIKE to believe there was no way he is using- but there is. Addicts (of anything) becoming very good at bullsh*tting. Even to those they love the most.

[abritt121222]

Sounds to me like every one of the comments are correct and you have a very good reason to be worried but like the other post said he is not drug free if he is on methadone and is probably still getting high from the methadone since you mention the ways his eyes look and how he looks like he has been sleeping every time u go over there and he is not expecting you i never used herion onlly pain meds but the way i looked and all that was pretty much the same as a heroin user and the way my girlfriend could ALWAYS tell if i was using no matter what i tried to do to hide it was she would notice i would get really red i would sneeze alot i would always want to do something and have alot more energy(not more than i do now since i am clean but thats how she could tell i wasnt in withdrawals)and for me i would drink beer more than normal and since you said your kids are involved i would say even if you think u wanna try this relationship for your kids safety stay away from this guy and do not let your kids have anything to do with him

[medic09]

If he is on methadone he is not drug free. Just keep that in mind. I couldn't say it any better than Sway did. I am in the medical field, and I knew the horrors of methadone, so the first thing I told my dr was "don't suggest methadone I won't do it" and she was equally appalled and said she would never put me through that.
Personally, I don't believe anyone trading one addiction for another is in recovery. It's just a different drug, NOT a better one. Sorry. I just don't want you to be under any illusions. Just because it's through a clinic/program doesn't make it right. And I have never met a single methadone user who would recommend it.

[sway1]

1st: the migraines/ headaches might be rebound headaches which are actually caused by taking opiates. it's extremely frustrating. you dose yourself up trying to kill the pain but succeed only in prolonging the pain. if you KNOW it's a "rebound", it's equally frustrating, because then you know the drugs won't work. best case, the headache goes away, you take your meds and everything goes back to normal. worst case, you wait out the pain for so long that you begin withdrawal symptoms. when you finally medicate, it comes back up via vomit. this all happened to me less than a month ago. this is one crazy disease!

2nd: let me say this before i start, i am a true believer in love and its power to help people overcome the most impossible tasks. you guys sound like the real thing. i truly hope you are, and that this will all be history very soon.
a study as opposed to a relationship..... you are the one who's paying attention, keeping track and learning so much about the disease. you might be learning more than you ever want to. we(addicts) will do and say anything and go to drastic measures to protect our using situation. once there is an outsider(non-addict) who has gotten up close and personal, in other words, involved in our addiction, we can get super protective of our using. i know i said that twice. 3 times still won't be enough. it can become a function. keeping you on one side and our secrets on the other. we will keep little back doors to escape thru when you get too close. we start having a kind of relationship with this function. the whole time making sure you keep that"he keeps me on a pedestal" feeling. we can stop the true feelings that the relationship was founded on, and just take you for a ride, leaving you with enough information about our disease to get a degree and a whole lot of pain for your troubles.
  most addicts would advise you to separate until he has stopped using and has some clean time. then and only then, you could get back together and see, very slowly, how you both feel and what is actually left of your love.
forgive me for running on like that. best wishes. peace, sway

[newtimes]

can you tell me more about  astudy of addiction rather then a relationship, I'd like to know as much as possable about everything that involes being in a realtionship with an x user.

[newtimes]

I've spoken to him about my concerns and he's pretty reasurring that he's not and doesn't want to be on herion again, he knows he has to much to loose. He still has his migrane and is frustrated that pain killers don't work for him, I've suggested getting some kiropratic work done on his back (as he has back pain from an old accident). I feel like we have a really good relationship we talk about the program and I have done allot of research on it and spoken on this forum before, I find it a really good support. We connect on many other levels, the program is a small part of it, we are both very much in love. I'm a carer by nature and loving and caring for him come naturally, he also is beautiful to me and treats me like a queen.
I no in myself that the first sign of drug use will be the time to turn and run, I understand and have told him that it's the not relapse of herion that I'm worried about but all the lies and deseption that come with it. He has gone 7 months now without herion I want to stick with him reach the first year together.
Any suggestion on how to manage the migranes? the herion and meth have given him a very high tollerance to pain killers so most the standards don't work. Personally treating the cause rather then finding a drug that works would be a better outcome if possable.
Thank-you for your words, it is very hard to explain the whole circumtances on the forum. But my deep gut feeling is that he is on a road to recovering and that this journey together will make us very strong, we take our relationship one day at a time even though we both know the future together looks really good. I lost my best friend last week suddenly (not drug related) and he has been a really good support for me during this time so I know it is not a one way relationship.

[sway1]

hi there. let me tell you what i know. most meth programs monitor urine and will withhold or cut you off from getting meth. however you can find meth on the street, thereby upping your dose w/o getting in trouble w/ clinic or program.  pinpoint pupils, itchy symptoms, especially on the nose and face, gravelly voice are 3 ways for me to tell if someone is high up in their milligrams. both heroin and methadone have these effects though. i don't know of anyone shotting meth. are there needles involved? you may have said, but i just woke up. the voice is usually the first thing that jumps out at me, then i check for the scratching and the eyes.
   i hate to tell you but, what you are probably in is more of a study of addiction than a relationship. these things have been known on occasion to survive on past the user stopping, but only if that is his true goal. love is a bigger high, but it takes a LOT of clean time for an addict to regain sense to what and how and how MUCH they feel. early on, feelings can be disproportioned as well as misdirected.
   you should turn and run like crazy. until like at least a year of aftercare and abstinance from drugs, he isn't going to be able to have a stable relationship with anyone except maybe his sponsor. is he in NA?
peace, sway