How do i get my husband to want off methadone?

[HelplessnDone]

My husband was addicted to pills and now has been on methadone for a year this month.  He started at 100 mg and now is at 120mg.  When he went to the treatment center we were seperated.  I left when i found out there was a drug addiction and decided my children needed to be a priority.  He first went to IOP and was clean 30 days before relapsing.  .  I saw him hit rock bottom and he decided to contact a treatment center and do something about his addiction...for himself.  I decided at that time I would support him and stand by him.  Now, the methadone is becoming an issue.  He falls asleep constantly, he has no drive, he doesn't listen, its all about his comfort, he is fine where he is at but doesn't realize that it's not just about him. he is not affectionate, has no drive for sex, he is always exhausted for everything.  I could be having a very important conversation with him and he has no idea what i just said, no emotions, nothing.  It's like im dealing with a person that is completely checked out.  He has never gone to NA meetings, doesn't have a sponser and is just ok with the methadone.  I told him i wanted to go with him to see the theapist at the center, that he sees once a month and he said he would let me know when he is ready.  We'll its been four months and nothing.  He doesn't include me in his recovery and I wonder if this is how it will always be. I have decided that the methadone has got to go.  he shouldn't be on it and really needs to get off this ****.  I'm not sure how to tell him and not sure what to say if he says no.  If anyone can tell me what they think and am i thinking of this correctly...does anyone have other ways that i could be thinking of this? is his behavior normal?  I'm not sure if i need to give him an ultimatum...i dont know but what i do know is that it the methadone has to go...help....thanks

[Rachaelann86]

My boyfriend and I have only been together for 3 months, and I didn't know he was going to the methadone clinic until about a month and a half into the relationship because he thought I would leave him. I don't know what his dosage is, but he goes every day. He spends $400 a month at the clinic. Falls asleep a lot, has gotten into car accidents, where he "slid off the road". Calls himself an alcoholic and drinks quite a bit. It's gotten to the point where he blows through so much money on god knows what that we're about to not make our rent. I've never had a drug problem. So I don't know what to do. He says he wants to stop taking methadone, but he doesn't want to stop going. He could go every other day, (he's done it before) but he doesn't. He just recently got laid off and pays child support, and the clinic being $400 a month, I'm not sure what to do anymore. He says he doesn't want to stop going as much and go through withdraws because he can't have that on top of all the stress about the bills.... But going half as much, would save $200 a month. Now that we have our own place - & I'm supportive you would think he would want to try to get off the methadone. I feel like maybe he's making excuses. I don't know how to speak to him about it without him thinking I'm attacking him. His ex of 9 years left him partly because of the pill/methadone addiction... And I don't know what to do now either. He knows I'm patient, and I want him to wean himself of methadone the "healthy" way....so I feel like that's an excuse to keep going everyday. Like I said I don't know what his dosage is... But I feel like we need to talk about it soon, I just don't know how to make it a positive conversation and not make him feel like I'm setting an ultimatium. Like "if you won't stop next week I'm leaving you" I know you can't stop taking methadone like that. I just really need help with this situation. I'm lost.

[Norco1947]

Have you asked him to read your post ? that will maybe open his eyes a bit . I know what reading it would do to me .
When on any drug we lose clear thought , only pills matter .
Best of luck ... Ron

[alex894]

I think, you just try to get rehab for your husband, and experts will give you the best solutions for that...

Good Luck

[TreePeach]

My husband too is a methadone addict. I swear he sleeps all day & night & if we are lucky to see him up it's for a few hours. This week alone he didn't come out of the bedroom except for one day! He has gone from one addiction to another! He hide the dosage amount from me - he was suppose to be getting off & I found out his dose is triple now, doesn't want me to go to his doctors visits with him.  He doesn't work-on workmans comp which will end soon & I don't think he will ever be right. The kids are sick of his empty promises, their friends asking about him & he saying he is Always sick! I know he has
snorted it. I makes me sick I am to to the point where I hate him!  I have heard everything from him but it never changes just the drug. Sickening how addicts ruin lives & don't seem to care.

[jtreadwell]

I completely agree with what you are saying.  My husband has been on 100mg of methadone for over 2 years now and he kept it from me for over a year.  He didn't tell me about it, I just happened to find his lock box when I was on maternity leave and opened it.  When I confronted him about it, he told me that he was scared to tell me about it b/c he was afraid I would leave him.  I accepted the fact that he needed it at the time, but over the past year he has been making promises that he is ready to get off of it, yet he is still at 100mg.  It's always an excuse when he gets home from the clinic as to why they didn't lower his dose.  I believe that he doesn't want to get off of it for fear that he will resort back to drugs (meth and pills).  I too can agree with what you say about sleeping all the time and being zoned out, b/c my husband does work, but he sleeps a lot on the weekends and there are many times that I will be talking to him and didn't hear a word I said.  I've tried to talk to him about getting off of the methadone, but I honestly believe that he doesn't want to b/c he is addicted to it.  I hope things work out between you guys and I just wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel.  God bless and good luck!

[gnarly_1]

Hi and welcome to the forum...well you got your hands full...if your hubby dont see it as a problem then there is nothing you can do to MAKE him get off it...you could sit him down and tell him how you feel...tell him what you see it doing to him and your relationship ..I just came off 150mg and had alot of the same problems, you do
realize them you just dont act on them....methadone dosent get you high but
sorta leaves you under a "fog" that you just dont realize till your off it..the thing is
he has to want off of it...you got to want it bad to do it at all it is tuff to quit..
find out why he is staying on it...he might just be scared of the withdrawals
if he does decide to get off remember it takes time..it took me 8 1/2 mo to do it
I used a formula given to me by a neo/natal nurse that brings babys off heroin,
methadone,ext and it goes 10%drop every 72hr..it worked for the most part
prity painlessly but there where times that I would have to stop for a week or 2
to alow my body time to adjust to the lower dose if he follows this formula he
will find it fairly painless and the withdrawal at the end although uncomfortable
is very doable ..at least discuss it with him  and if you can get him to this forum
there are lots of people here willing to help others out of the methadone trap
there are many who have done it and are in the process of doing it so he will be in
a safe place to share his thoughts and feelings..good luck and god bless...Gnarly    

[mr.lucky66]

Like a previous poster stated, if he doesn't want to get off, it won't work. I think methadone is way over used these days at at too high dosages. It pains me to see vicodin addicts now hooked on methadone , sedated and sleeping all the time. It is better for some people but not everyone. This is my pet peave, we now have a whole generation of methadone addicts. Before, it was reserved for heroin addicts so they could stay out of jail, now it's given to just about anyone who wantes it with a postive opiate urine. I hope your husband decides he wants more out of life and makes a decision.

[Electra1982]

First of all, I'm shocked they started him off at 100mg, thats WAY to high. Anyone should be fine between 40 and 60 regarless of your sex or weight. I just finished methadone maintenance last week. It is very very hard to come off of methadone. Most likely, he will stay on it for a very long time. It took me 8 months to get down to 4mg. You're supposed to go down 5mg a week (or 10% at a time) and once you hit 30, you should be able to jump to zero ( I didn't know that untill recently) . I'm 104lbs, 27 year old female. If I can do it, he can! If he is at a dose of 120mg a day, I'm not suprised he is sleeping all the time and being lazy- he's zoned out. If I can make a suggestion: Switch over to suboxone! suboxone is much healhthier for your body and he will feel normal, not tired all the time.

[casey73]

Just a thought.......while I may not be thrilled to be on methadone it is much better then being in pain.....it seems odd to me that he is so "out of it"  on methadone as myself (and many of my friends who are on it) are essentially "normal" other then the fact that we often still struggle with addiction......has he considered lowering his dose???? Initially I was put on 30 then 45 then 60 then 75 then 90 (3 days at a time) ....for me 90 was way too much...I have also heard this from others...had a friend who kept falling asleep while smoking at this dose  Now that IS dangerous......Eventually I lowered it to 40, with the rule of thumb being that I knew I was on too much when I would sweat constantly and be very tired; but not enough when I would wake up with the classic sore knees ( and need to do pills)....40 has proven to be perfect as 30 is honestly too low unless one is one other medications, and 50 makes me fall asleep way too much! (by the way i am female aprox 160 lbs, so for him 40 might be way too low, but i am certain that the amount he is on is far too high, and that is the real problem as methadone is not a drug on which one ever gets high (believe me if it was people would be doing it for fun) ...it is simply a way to avoid withdrawal from opiates while maintaining a "normal" lifestyle that does not include dealers, crime, money problems etc.

[Holliee]

I am also on methadone but my husband and I are in agreement about my treatment and our life is pretty normal. He has never done drugs or dont drink. If your husband is not ready to get off methadone this will NOT WORK. Methadone is a tapering drug and it would take him quite sometime to taper off that amount and still at end he will have w/d. There is a man on here that was on 150 I think and it took him 8 months to get off all methadone w/a taper plan. He has to want to be off everything included methadone or he will find a way to hide it from you and stay on it or something else. I am sorry your having such a hard time and I wish you the best and may God Bless you and your family.

By way what was your husband on before methadone and how much was he taking a day? Does he go to clinic daily or get take homes>

Holliee