How do we not relapse when things go wrong?

[southernbelle]

I'm going through such a rough time...I relapsed.  My pain is TRULY intense, but I have to admit that if things weren't so bad right now I probably would have had the strength to "tough it out" and not take anything for the pain.  But I'm facing the death of a dear, precious loved one and the EMOTIONAL pain is intense.  What do you guys do to not relapse?  I feel so sad right now.  It hurts so bad to think of him in the ground.  Gosh, he made the world a better place.  Believe it or not, he was a drug counsleor/parole officer.  He also worked at a boot camp for at-risk teens.  He was so special.  It just hurts so bad.  What do you guys do to get through things like this?  Love to all of you, mean it.

[groovygirl]

Every time you relapse, you are closer to quitting for good.  It takes most people several times to get there, so do not give up.

I'm sorry about your friend.  I never know what to say about death...I'm sorry doesn't sound like much.

Just don't beat yourself up over this...you are human, and you will make mistakes.  With the emotions you must be feeling, I don't blame you for relapsing.  When you are ready to try again, you will know it.  Until then, spend time with you friend and cherish the memories.  I'll keep you two in my prayers.

[FesterTool]

Hey.
To stop myself from getting more I locked myself in my room. This may/maynot help you. If I didn't have to see the drugs or the familiar surrounds that attached accompanied them, I was able to focus on something else: TV, cooking, this forum. It helped me, but everyone is different. Good luck!

HEY BIONIC BILL(BMAC) AND PIXI!!! WHERE ARE YOU??? Hopefully doing just fine! Talk to you all later.

Staycool!
Festertool

[Bodymechanic]

I don't think anyone has this answer. Addictions are a very difficult problem to deal with on their own.  Add a pain problem and things become even more challanging.

I don't worry about or even think about quitting for good any more. It does no good.  I try to measure the quality of my life as a whole with the addiction being just a very small part of it. Refusing to take drugs and being miserable for it makes no sense to me.  The people in the 12 step meetings are some of the most discontent and unhappy people I have ever met.  I have never heard more emotional pain and more whining than I have there. My point is, that total uninterupped sobriety at any cost may not be worth the price.  At the same time we cannot afford to get out of control with our drug use. It is a fine line that we walk.  In the end all that is really important is that you can face the woman in the mirror.

Peace

[southernbelle]

your logic always touches me.  i love your posts, they really help me.  your realistic approach to our struggles is so helpful to me.  thanks for being you!  thanks to everybody else, too.  we are all in this together, and i appreciate the support.  i know we can do this, it just seems so difficult at times.  love to each of you.

[mrrstracy]

My prayers are with you and your friends family. If I could count all the times I relapsed, I would give up. But I know that each time, I learn something about myself and I get stronger everytime. So take the hammer out of your hand and quit beating yourself up. I know you will make it as long as you keep trying and don't give up. Think about it, don't you feel a little stronger everytime? Your friend I know will be missed but you know what "They needed another angel up in heaven!".

Your're in my prayers,

Tracy

[mrrstracy]

How are you doing Hippee. I wanted to let you know that your God sons been on my heart alot lately and in my prayers. How are you holding up?

Tracy

[hellbent]

My problem is the opposite. It's when things get going good that I have to watch for relapse. I am still putting things back together from a 5 year run, so it's not that big an issue now. What about when I have enough money saved to take some time off? What if I ever am able to live my dream and move to hawaii and just kick back and surf? How will I stop myself from getting pills again? I try not to think about it too much, as it probably won't happen soon, but it's always in the back of my mind.

[LizzyM]

I had a relapse last week..not with pain killers but with pot and alcohol.  I felt "great" that night...but had a hang-over for 3 days.  Made me realize that it really wasn't worth it.  I too was stressing out, had a throbbing headache, so I tried drinking Rum and Coke and took a couple of hits off of a dooby and got really wasted.  I hardly ever drink..not because I'm an Alcoholic but because I just don't really care for liquor.  It's been 4 yrs since I drank like that.  Oh my gosh, and my sister who was visiting got me on video!  It's not pretty.  I wasn't mean to anyone or did anything to hurt someone..I was just plain silly.  I don't think anyone here would like to hear the details. so I'll skip to my point..(ha ha) After that night I had a throbbing headache, hit my head and hit hard depression again when I was just getting over it.  I think someone said here that we have to relapse to really quit..and I think that is so true.  We have to learn our lesson somehow so that we are reminded not to go back.  I proably will never "live down" the silly things I did that night.  My friends and family thinks it's hilarious, while I think it's embarrasing..but, I'll get over it..they're all having a good laugh right now.  Me and alcohol just don't mix!  Love to all..keep hanging in there!

[southernbelle]

I'm wondering how you are, too.  Where have you been?  I've been thinking about you and sending positive energy your way.  Hope all is well.
To everybody else - I love you all.  It's so nice to have this forum, isn't it?  It's a way to connect and talk about something others have in common with you...Love and peace to all of you.  The holidays are fastly approaching, so it's so important for us to check in here as often as we can and support each other.  The holidays are hard for a lot of us.  We'll miss loved ones, be stressed out, and generally need support like this.
The doc said something that I had thought on yesterday at the funeral, but had pushed to the back of my mind.  What would he think if he knew my problem?  Knowing him, he'd rush to my aid, help me as much as he could...but the bottom line is he wouldn't have wanted me to struggle with this. Thanks to all of you for being understanding.

[Bodymechanic]

You said no one would be interested in hearing the details....ummm I would. Could you send us all copies of the tape.  I promise I won't make fun of you...no really.

[Rex1]

I can only give you what I am using myself, but I think it's enough to at least help.

First, as Mike said, if at all possible, stay busy - distract your mind, knowing that this is a roller coaster ride that has an end. We all have to remember to get off, not buy another ticket!

Second, hots tubs work pretty well for me for body aches.

I think "mood" is the key to success, and so the Thomas recipe has helped but today I had a pretty bad day, so I will keep taking the vitamins, knowing that time is on my side, tommorrow will be better.

Finally, force yourself to run through the laundry list of truly good things in your life, which there must be some. The Bible even says rejoice in tribulation. I hate that verse! But...

We are here for you, and we're not going anywhere. Tomorrow is a new day, with new hopes. And thank you for being here for us..

My roller coaster ride is just know starting to board. I know I am going to hate it, but I AM GETTING ON THE DAMN THING, and exiting for good when it is over - no matter what!

(God loves you, and He's a good God!)

I truly hope you feel better.

Your sign in - is SouthernBelle and not sure where you are in the South, but I was in Atlanta for 13 years before coming to San Diego. So here's two Jeff Foxworthy jokes to cheer you up - hopefully.

"You may be a redneck if you walk your son to school because you're both in the same grade!";-)

"You may be redneck if your front porch collapses and it kills more than three dogs" ;-)

Rex

[Rex1]

One more thing,

Don't say relapse, just say you had a setback. And let me ask you this - "How can you have a setback without progress?". Right? A setback means that your WERE MOVING FORWARD and then you moved backwards temporarily.

Back on the horse you go - don't give up.

Rex

"You may be redneck if your mom walks out from the bathroom and says to you "Hey come 'ere - you gotta see this!"

Sorry...;-(

[Rex1]

My brothers and sister have a bet to see who is going to appear on the TV show COPS first.

I just know if I keep on doing what I am doing, my face will be on the screen, with the familair tune in the background "Bad Boys - Bad Boys, whacha gonna do?"

And I will be looking down the barrel of a 44. The cops can't find the guys who broke into my neighbors car, but they'll be there (with a cameraman, no less) the second I am wasted in public. and then BOOM! I lose the bet, forever the butt of jokes.

Seriously, I have not done booze in 7 years and pot in 20. And the bean of hope for you is that once I was off of these guys, I NEVER missed them. What worked (for me now,) was prayer and a doc to lay it all out for me. When a doc says to you "Well, I think you'll be dead in less than a year", he gets your attention, especially when you have kids!

Forget the past and be even more comitted to quitting - make your comittments here if you need to and we'll help all we can.

Rex

[LizzyM]

ummmmmmmmm...yeah.  I'll just make you all a copy if you really want to fall out of your seat laughing your heads off.  And, I think you can probably catch me on Americas Funniest Videos!!!  I don't get in trouble with the Law, just the camera..LOL  Besides, I mooned the camera several times in my G-string...not pretty ..what was I thinking?  I won't even tell you what I did to someones beer bottle..no no..my clothes were still on..perverts!  Let's just say I have a very big mouth..even if it's a long neck beer bottle...LOL..enough details.
Hope I don't offend anyone here with some of the MINOR details.  I have to find that video and BURN it!!!!!

[Bodymechanic]

Why did you stop....I was just starting to get excited.  Especially the part about the beer bottle.  

You might want put that tape and that memory on the shelf. You can watch it every time you think about getting drunk. It serves as a vivid reminder of what you never want to be.

[LizzyM]

I wish I HAD the tape to put away on a shelf...BUT, it was my older sisters video camera and she was just visiting me for 6 days from Florida.  She told me she would edit it..but, of course I am already am hearing it from my brother in law (her husband)  He was hysterical laughing just now on the phone.  Nice...and about that beer bottle...I was just trying to show my best friend Diane something( actually teach her)  that's all..honest.but, in the middle of a dance club....hee hee And Diane did some pretty wild things to ME on that video...no.no..we are not lesbians..but the video tells another story..you know how videos can LIE????  
Well, I saw the video before my sis left..and it's not pretty!! to me at least.  I heard everyone laughing in the backround when I was just on the phone with her....I SWORE that I would NEVER drink again!!!! And now, she and her hubby want me and my family to come for a visit???  yeah right..like I'll ever show my face in public again...That tape is DEFINATELY a reminder NOT to party like that again!

[southernbelle]

Thanks for your support--I need it.  It's been a rough week...work is stressful, I'll be hitting the road again next week (I travel a good bit for work), and dealing with everything else.  I'm doing the best I can do.  Sometimes I think that's all we can do...just the best we can.  Sometimes it's exceptional, other times is less than poor, but for the most part, I just do the best I can.  Love to all of you. Let's keep it clean and honest, with support to everybody.  Thanks to all of you.  Have a good weekend everybody.

[Bodymechanic]

My whole life is dictated on simple premise "what is the next right thing to do" I even make lists about it. Sometimes broken down to the hour. If I have done the best I could that day, and many times, in my eyes it is not very good; I know in my heart that God will always protect me and tomorrow will be a better day. I add to that... What did I learn today?  Who did I help today?

I'm starting to sound like Hippee

[groovygirl]

You're up early for a Saturday morning...unless you wrote this before you went to bed.

It's stormy out again today...this weather really gets me down.  

So, what have you decided to do about Buprenex?  Are you going to try it, or have you decided against it?

[Bodymechanic]

I have a consultation the first week of December.  I am going to do something besides what I am doing now. So far I see buprenx as the best option.  I ordered some over the internet but I still want to work with a doctor. The internet has been my doctor for too long already.

[mrrstracy]

Hey don't feel bad about the video. I made one with my ex-husband and it went big time!! They put it on "Wild Kingdom"

LMAO!!! Tracy

[hippy]

hey bell , sorry to read the post of your friend passing, and also your own struggles.
we all have to continue on, we always need to get our eyes
on the postitive in life and on our higher power and off
of ourselves.there is worse things then death, that is being seperated from our children for a considerable length of time.
i have felt the pain of not getting to see my childeren for over a year, very painful.
' i hope you are feeling better.

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my pc was down for a few days.

[Rex1]

You mentioned a party.

Im heart of hearts, this I believe is my problem. Someone forgot to tell me an important fact - the party has to end sometime.

While in Miami, I partied to end all parties. I had some incredible highs, fun, great friends, you know, no responsibilities - just fun, fun, and more fun. Sometime during this period, I convinced myself that life is a drag without a drug of some kind.

First pot, then Qualudes, then Alcohol, then Vicodin. Great job, great wife, great kids, great city to live in. Was that enough - Oh NO! Life aint worth living unless your living the high life. It's boring otherwise, I told myself. (And may God damn Satan forever for these lies he helped me believe!)I take sole resposnibility for this though.

Well, I would give anything right now for boring. I am working for boring, and praying for boring. Sobriety may be boring at first, but I am convinced that the parties - all of them - are over, need to be over, and I will make them a thing of the past. I will redefine a party as a gathering where I have fun, but also make my kids and God proud. IS that possible? Stay tuned...

Good luck to you on the road back - we'll be here, Lizzy.

Rex

[misd]

Hi, First and foremost I want to say I am so sorry for your loss, I know first hand what it is like to relapse. I have done it once before but at the time I was going through some health problems and had alot of pain with my uterus and I had endometriosis. I had a complete hysterectomy due to the fact that my uterus was attached to my bladder, I still have pain but I havent touched the first thing in 21 days. My husband was in the hospital with what they think was a light stroke. He is only 30 years old, He was in there a week and Ihad the chances to get a pill and take it but i chose not to. I know what I went through to get this far and I chose not to go back and start that horrible process again. Just try to stay strong and think of how your friend would feel if he knew you relapsed. Im not downing you because i have been there, but buck up and take the pain, it will be worth it in the end. Stay strong and keep us posted. Hope everything turns out ok for you.
I also had the choice of the drugs or my kids and husband , I chose my family. God bless you and keep you.
misd

[mrrstracy]

Missed you! How's your God son? He's in my prayers.

Tracy

[Rex1]

Hey welcome back.

Truly hope your are feeling better!

Your PC was down for a few days huh?

Still trying to get that footpedal working, eh? Let me be the first to tell you, that's called a "mouse".;-)

Also, the thing that slides out when you push the little button is not a coffee cup holder, that's called a "CD-ROM drive";-)

Sorry - couldn't resist retelling some PC helpdesk laughers - real phone calls, mind you!

If your PC is really acting up, I recommend using the following on it: (direct quote from the movie The Terminator)

"Uzi 9 millimeter"
"You sure know your guns pal!"
"12 guage Autoloader"
"Now that a great gun - you can go pump, or Auto"
"PhaseWatt rifle in the 40 Watt range"
" Hey pal - just what you see here - so which is going to be"
Arnold: "All!"

Rex

[LizzyM]

Hey Rex.  I hear ya!  It's not worth it to keep partying.  There is fun without alcohol and drugs.  It just takes time to realize that.  
Hey Tracy..told you I wouldn't leave ya!!  I'm still here at the forum..I won't abandon all the people who have helped me here.  But, at the  other forum, there are members who have helped me also, so now I'm blessed to have 2 forums!!  LOL  It's too bad there have been tiffs between people here.  I have never encountered that or even witnessed it here.  And, I refuse to be in the middle.  I just like everyone!!  No one has ever been mean to me here or there.  Peace to everyone...

[Rex1]

Where's the other forum located, or are we not allowed to mention it here?

Rex

[LizzyM]

I don't see why I can't mention it here?  You have to apply an application there to be accepted.  As far as I know, some people who had problems with other people here an decided to go to a new forum.  Everyone there is really sweet and nice..
To try to get in go to www.ezboard.com..the new addiction support forum.  I do know this, you can say what you want, nothing gets censored so it may not be for all people if they cannot stand foul language, and if you cause problems there you get booted off.  I like it there.  You can exchange pictures and put a face to a name.  It's a different kind of forum so like I said, it may not be everybody's cup of tea....I like it there and here too..so I go back and forth.
I hope no one here or there has a problem with me mentioning the new forum.  I am definately not the kind of person to get into tiffs or cause any trouble..so I hope I don't get blasted for mentioning this new forum...peace to all..hope everyone is having a great day!

[athena]

Hey how are ya fes?Last time I talked to you you were going through the death of your mom.I hope life is treating you well.Are you spending much time with your dad?Are you still clean?bmac is doing great.We email pretty regular.Email me if you want to at ***@****'s so good to know your ok.I have wondered how you were and kept you in my prayers.


luv
pixi

[athena]

Hey festertool,That email addy won't work.Try ***@****



luv
pix

[FesterTool]

Ok. Will do! Yes, still clean. Talk with you later.

Staycool!
Festertool