How does this happen to so many?

[polly08]

I have a question that I am interested in researching and Im hoping you all can help out.

please dont feel you have to go into detail unless you want to.

how many here have endured some type of abuse as children?

obviously i have or I wouldnt wonder, am I a minority or do these emotional and physical pain issues that lead to drug dependency have deeper significance?

polly

[road2recovery]

yes i have...Do i think this has to do with my addiction..Somewhat...But there are other things that through counsouling i haver realized contributes to mine....
But i do think that there are many out there that have been through more, and never became an addict....hopes this makes some sense...
But i do think we need to deal with those issues and move on, because we cannot change what happened...But we can change now...:)
r2r

[Sarah231]

Nope, no abuse.

Nice life both as a child and as an adult.

I remember the first time I had a narcotic painkiller.
I was on vacation in Ocean City Maryland and got an ear infection.

It was LOVE at first sight!

[catmagnet]

I don't think I was supervised consistently, that caused a lot of confusion and resentment for a teen. Plus, this behavior runs in my family, I think some of the tendency is genetic.

[missm2]

Nope..no abuse. I have no one to blame but myself.

[polly08]

Hi Sarah231,

I am not doubting anyones motives but Im a curious person by nature I guess.
Could you explain why, it was love at first sight?
had you had prior drug use as a teen?

what was attractive about the experience as compared to your life as it was?

Just for the record, I dont blame abuse for my drug use in paticular. for me, chronic health issues have reuslted from that abuse, that have led me to use.
Thanks everyone for your honesty

[Dieing2Live]

growing up my father abused crack and when i was young he would come home fieing or on rages and he was extremely abusive to my mother and oldest sister. my oldest sister became addicted to coke, and i was addicted to oxycontin. around 2 weeks clean right now. i believe there is a part of genetics that makes u more prone to addiction, but whether you use the first time or not is our choice.

sarah: ocean city is where my addiction started, i was on my senior beachweek, i had taken them before but i brought a lot for beachweek and ever since....how ironic. haha

[Rose703]

Yep there was alot of different kinds of abuse with me. Strangely enough I never abused anything until about 3 years ago at the age of 38. The abuse of the meds came into play as I'm a chronic pain patient, and as my tolerance went up I found new ways to use, such as snorting the Oxy's.  The good news.....I'm 21 days clean today, Yeah!!

[Sarah231]

Hi Polly.
That is a very good question and I wish I knew the answer.

No, no drug or even alcohol use. I was in band for crying out loud. lol.

I just remember taking that pain pill and thinking how good I felt. And, man, wouldn't it be good to feel that way all the time!
I wondered if most people normally did feel like that???

But, as you all know......
that "feeling so good" feeling went away really quickly. The remainder of the time I used was probably mostly to stop the feelings of w/d and to feel "Normal"

Months turned into years because it was never a good time to quit.
Too much going on at work, holidays coming up.....
I'm sure you all know the drill.

Well, I quit last week and this is probably the busiest week of my whole year (yep, taxes) and boy are clients getting pissed. I drag to work and can barely function.
Nice timing, huh?

[Army220]

Nope,  No abuse here at all.  Both hard working, loving parents and two older brothers.  Solid family life.  

Surgery on my neck to remove my C1 did me in 4 years ago.  Ma and Dad still think they had the perfect child.  If I told them of my addiction they would'nt think any differently anyways.  They would support me 100%

Army

[catmagnet]

I was in band in high school--and choir--and baton twirler-and orchestra, etc. I'm not blaming my parents or anyone else, but I was the youngest and think sometimes I was "forgotten" a little. I never caused trouble , so no one knew anything. Just felt like I needed to add that.

[missm2]

Sorry.. after re-reading my post it may have sounded different to some than what I actually meant. I do realize that abuse as a child ( of any kind) can cause lasting damage. I should have left my answer at nope- no abuse.
I too...became addicted after several health problems and surgeries. Hope I didnt offend anyone.

[catmagnet]

I don't think anyone took it wrong-- I felt guilty reading my own post, too, that's why I added to it.

[corey411]

No abuse but little attention from dad. Low sekf esteem. I pretty much resolved that, had a wonderful relationship with my dad as I got older. Didn't get addicted till after that. Always seemed to be something lacking and could not understand how the world could be so unfair to others.

[ByeByePills]

Polly,
We all use for essentially the same reason.  We like to get high.  Opiates happen to make us feel really good, and we spend the rest of our addiction trying to get that feeling we had the first time we used.  No more, no less.  No genetics, no diseases, no excuses.  We just like to get high and use opiates.  At some point we all reach that plateau where we have to say enough is enough.  As with any addiction, our choices determine the outcome.  I have seen some on this board quit for good, and others struggle mightily.  I quit 7 months ago and plan on never going back, EVER.  Life is too short to spend in a chemically induced haze.

[polly08]

I would like to add that I dont think abuse is always physical. Sometimes a parent can be a funtioning addict, or just not present enough. My step dad was functioning...for a while. as he was less so my mother took on two jobs to support us. There was no one to parent me most of the time as my dad was passed out on the couch alot. Mom was emotionally unavailable.

My sister was like many of you the "good girl" but she was also afraid of letting anyone down, obviously she was more of the parent than her parents. She never got into trouble like I did, but i have seen signs that temptations to abuse alcohol exist for her. I hope to God that she proves me wrong.

i too made peace with my dad before he died at 60, he had rotted his esophagus with drink and ciggs.

I feel like i have alot of additions, soaps, sex, etc....
I am definately searching myself to learn the roots and causes that trigger these yearnings.

Counseling is helpful but seems to do little to stop me when i want to avoid pain, be it emotional or physical.

As dicplined as Ive been about my pain med use, it doesnt stop me from feeling that something is out of kilter, not right. And the meds made that bearable. But they also mask what is wrong or out of focus.

Thats where I find myself now, the physical pain from my stomach to my fibro is very real, but I know that after all the psych meds Ive ever tried, nothing ever made me feel as normal as my pain meds.
thats what feels so scary now, i guess, is how dark the feelings of withdraw are and the knowledge that there is no medicine to cure what caused me to want that feeling of numbness.
thanks for all the responses, you guys rock!

[confused456]

I did not use to get high as stated above and yes I was abused a lot and do not like to talk about it. Yes it has been part of why I use and I am just now trying to come to terms with things I thought I buried long, long ago.

[flmagi]

No abuse here, life was wonderful, fine and dandy. Started the pills for pain, then a while after got hit with Huricane Charlie and it brought a streak of bad luck to my whole family, so I stayed on them for pain, numbness and they made me super woman.  Off them now but black cloud still hanging over head.

[allaboutmary]

I live very close to flmagi and the black cloud is over my head also.  lol     Started pills for pain. Thought I found the "fountain of youth"  Fell in love with having all that energy. Work longer, clean house, exercise, it was great.  Then it started to suck real bad.  It's like I sold my soul to the devil pills and now must suffer with the curse of addiction for the rest of my life..

[Shotrock]

You Go Girl, work that up-do...... Agree 100% made me feel great, loved the buzz, never could get there again.. Day 31 feel Great......( when do I go from days to weeks )?

[mommy52713]

my father and mother were both alcoholics. my dad died when i was nine. started having kids at a young age. i have five brothers and sisters and we have all used pills, alcohol,ect. i need to change this so my kids might have a chance.

[lostparent]

Hi

I am new to this.. My daughter is in recovery for the first time.

Here is what I have learned... and I am sure this is all subject to debate.

It is Nature, not Nurture.  Addiction is genetic.  It may not be first or even second generation, but somewhere in the gene pool there is addiction.

There are three areas of use... be it alcohol, or other drugs

- Social, or recreational
    Use does not interfere with day to day activities

- Abuse
    Binge or excessive use.  Most people without the propensity for addiction will stop at this point cause the feel like ****

- Dependence and Addiction
    Where the use is beyond abuse and it starts to interfere with your life.  opiates are addictive by virtue of the way they interact with your chemistry... so as I understand it, even those without an addictive propensity are exposed for addiction if taken long enough.  


That is not to say the psych issues do not fuel the process.  There is always a justification for one's actions, or blame for one's actions

[Shotrock]

You have the power to make the Choice! Its up to you, no excuses!  Your Choice......

[lostparent]

For everyone who is clean... congratulations!!!

I can't say I know how hard it is, but I am living this through my daughter.  

The physician at the treatment center put it in perspective.  He is 8 years clean form opiates.

Despite our best intentions, we are powerless to the addiction of opiates.  We believe that we can quit at any time.. just not today.   That is why we all need help... be it this website or professional.  group support is proven to be the very best.

He put it bluntly.  "If I prescribed the strongest laxative to everyone in the room and told you not to go...  despite your best efforts, you would simply not succeed."  We all need support

[josh231]

im 19 years old and my parents had never hit me but this type of thing does run in the family also i also remember the first time i took a pill it was last day of my spring break i took one i felt ok the next day i tok 2 and from that day on it was like aw why not whitch sucked about this is i didnt know about addiction and i didnt think it could happen to me i kept sayin oh i can stop when ever but then when i tried it was hell i knew it was somthing i had to do so i stoped after almost 3 years

[ILoveLukey]

Never any abuse by parents whatsoever.  The most loving parents I could have hoped for. I attributed by addiction to "me" and "me" only.  Never any drug or alchohol abuse in my my family. For me it is called "had cronic pain, took painkillers, took more painkillers, etc. HELLO, I am now an addict. Need help..............

[mimi1313]

I saw my dad abuse my mom when I was about 3. He was also an alcoholic. My mom's sisters all do drugs and so do 2 of my sisters.

[HYDROSUPERMOM]

I think everyone can dig back in their life and fine a reason.  I lost my mom at 16.  I have and still smoke pot.  I think that should be legal-but that's another story.  I do not blame my current opaite use or my past cocaine and crack addictions-many, many years ago on that .  I do think my mother had an addictive personality, but hers were work, coffee, and cigarettes.  I never saw her take more than a tylenol or even go to the Doctor.  And like me never really drank.  I never had w/d's from crack and cocaine just had to sleep it off for a day or 2.  But opaite withdrawl is horrible, the cravings for crack and coke were much sronger though.  I'm 5 weeks clean and I have no urges.   Like most of us I needed it for a medical reason and loved it. And having a chronic condition-again like most of us-can get it easy.  But also as we all know eventually you need more and start really playing up and adding new ailments.

[HYDROSUPERMOM]

ps  good luck

[bubbaganoosh]

For myself its a cobination of things, bad choices and some trauma like loosing my s/o in an accident, few other things too that caused PTSD, but even prior to that i loved to drink, but i found some things just take the pain away far to easy, it would have been easier to go through the motions.