How has your relationship changed since you stopped using?

[akmusic]

Just curious to find out how everyone's relationship changed.  Since getting off all the pills is like a life renewal, it can sometimes strengthen relationships.  However all the years of use can sometimes damage certain relationships beyond repair.  How was yours?

[whathefu_k]

I've realized now, that being on drugs caused me to be an *** to a lot of people and I will probably never get those friendships back.
Now that I am seeing things clearly again, I am moving forward as a truly good human being- and trying to redeem myself in life with everyone I run into.
It doesn't help to beat yourself up over things you can't fix now. I work towards the present and the future.

[suppdawg]

I have a friends that were both addicts and in a big way for many years. They loved eachother and really seemed to be compatible. Once they hit their mid 30's they decided to get clean so they could have a family. Both went to rehab and did very well. They had kids shortly thereafter and soon after they had the kids they were done.  They hated eachother. Simply put the only thing they had in common and holding them together was their addiction.

[green eyed lady]

Fortunately, or unfortunately for me sex was wonderful when I was high! Couldn't get enough...the unfortunate part is I had to leave my bf because he wasn't willing to get clean and I wasn't willing to live that way anymore so now I sit with no sex! I miss the intimacy with the ex more than anything.

Actually, life has been so much better for me. No more do I sit and watch others live while I sit at my house day in and day out. I was always numb, to the good and the bad. The bad was my ex who was an alcoholic and addicted to crack and even though it would hurt me when he lied regarding his using, it didn't affect me the way it needed to for me to be healthy. This all changed when I decided I wanted to be "normal". I ended up moving 3 hrs. away and I don't regret it.

I have found that it's much better to feel the feelings, deal with them and then move on. So much better than numbing myself and living in a fog and worrying about how many pills I have left. It's great to wake up in the morning and feel good (as good as it is waking up..lol). There really is no comparision to my life when I was using to the life I'm living now....I'd recommend it to anybody!

[Robin6298]

My b/f of 5 1/2 years never had a clue that I was dependant on pain meds.  The last two months is the only time I've been clean since we got together.  No one in my family knows either, so our relationship hasn't really changed.  When I detoxed, I told everyone that I had the 'Grandaddy' of the Flu.  Detox was 8 brutal, bedridden days, with two ER trips, in which the Dr wanted to admit me.  The trouble with that is as time went on, everyone was worried sick about me.  They started questioning this 'diagnosis', and really pestered me to stay in the hospital. To find out 'what was really wrong'.  They only did this out of worry, I know, but it was still hard for me to keep on lying to them.  I also had to leave orders with the ER doctor & nurses to tell anyone that came to check on me that I had 'the flu'.  He respected my wishes, thankfully.  So, to this day, no one knows but my Dr's and myself.  So, my relationship really hasn't changed, at least not yet.  My b/f wonders why I want to sit on my a$$ and do nothing now, letting some of the housework slide.  He's been pretty good about it, but I can tell he's getting sick of it though.  It's the 'blah', no energy period following the physical w/d, of course.  I've told him that I just haven't felt right since my bout with 'the flu' in Dec, and that I my Dr has ordered blood work just to check everything out.  I'm still awaiting the results.  This has placated him, for now.  My strength is slowly returning, finally.  So, hopefully, my b/f won't have to put up with a 'bump on a log' girlfriend for too much longer.  Lol!

[anewbeginning]

My first 2 weeks clean, I hated my Hubby & thought that I wanted a divorce. Now, 2 weeks later, I love him more than EVER!!! I don't know...I do know that what we hear & see being clean is with a clear head, so I figure...what it is, is what it is.

[MizDemeanor]

I am so happy that my sex drive seems to be back and in overdrive! LOL While I was on pills I never felt remotely interested. I'm lucky my partner stayed with me really. I became what I refer to now as "Cardboard Girl". Everything for me was all about the pills and feeling that high. I never got to the point I didnt get high, but my tolerance was climbing every day so I know I would have. I still have cravings and I almost did something stupid recently but I didnt. I'm in my fourth week now off 100-120'ish mg of Vic per day for 2 years. (didnt start that high just kept going up and shopping docs, etc)
Im really lucky that my gf loved me enough to go through this and still stay. She was really pissy for a while once I came clean to her, but she had obviously known since I went from type A personality to cardboard.
Whew what a ramble, sorry. Just want people to know that you can really "feel" again, sex, happiness, real emotions once you are off the pills. I remember worrying that I had damaged my brain chemicals and that I'd never "feel" anything again.
Good luck to everyone and keep on keeping on!
Peace.

[worried878]

I can now see how unhealthy a realationship was that I have been in and out of for 3 years   We havent talked since Christmas but he always manages to snake his way back in my life...but then again, I have always let him....I know now that he is not healthy for my recovery...but the sex was hot!  lol   even on pills

[luvmyfrogs]

i thought i was the only one who lost their sex drive when i take my pills.. i went from wanting it all the time (3 years ago) down to i can live without it.. i try not to go without it though for the sake of hubby and during/ after i do feel so good!!

[toxictome]

hhmmm...i got ON pills because of the realtionship w/my b/f...and after we broke up i decided to get off pills...didn't need them to make me feel better about myself anymore because he was gone....GO FIGURE!!!   I knew it wasn't a healthy relationship to begin with...I should have run the other way...then I wouldn't have needed the pills.... LOL

[mintz]

I can tell you that sex is so much better  he he he.  The feeling comes back all over again.  Not that sex was bad on the meds or at least for me.  Sex has always been good!  I have noticed that I listen better to my spouse and I HEAR what she is saying.  Also, I can remember better and doing more to help.

[lostsoul2]

Hey, I'm a man and I like to feel loved!!!  I wouldn't have sex with someone I wasn't in love with, and her in love with me....I don' beg for sex.  If my wife wants it she'll initiate it.  If she doesn't, I know better  than to push her!  Being hooked on pills killed my sex drive for the most part, and so she was always the one wondering when the hell we were going to have sex again.  Quite a role reversal.  I was the one that asked her if we could just cuddle for the night!!  

[oxygirl487]

i hope so too but its like we woke up and realized we dont like each other to good lol....hes not violent or anything like that but he says things that hurt me daily.....he wasnt like that on pills or maybe he was and i just didnt care lol.....i wish u and the b/f could work things out i saw ur post and its sad.....but we have to put ourselves first and thats what im gonna do and u need to also......if i sit here and do nothing i will start using agin im sure of that.....hope things get better for u ..u deserve it after all uve been thru.....

flutterby: how r u working on that sex drive thing? lol.....i need to know...hubby sex drive is thru the roof while mine is non exsistant to say the least......that is a part of our problem...men need sex to feel wanted and loved women just want to feel loved and wanted without being begged for sex lmao.......it kinda makes me feel like thats all he wants..can i get an amen? ......sorry guys....no offense to u all.....

[Flutterby111]

My husband has been really supportive NOW...wasn't while I was going through W/D's for some odd reason....likes to watch me suffer????!!! LOL....but he's been so sweet now.  I'm working on getting my s*x drive back, he deserves some loving....it seems normal....we fight like normal, and love like normal again...but I wasn't hooked for years and he wasn't a pill popper, he's a pothead-which I don't mind all that much, I'd rather him smoke than be a craba$$. lol

[dove3053]

I hope things work out for you and your hubby. Maybe it just takes time to reconnect. My bf didn't quit and is not going to so, that makes me sad and mad. I guess that's all our relationship was based on was pills.

dove

[oxygirl487]

since hubby and i quit together c/t our relationship has changed dramtically....it seems as though now we hate each other lol.......dont know why its just that way i guess...my relationship with my kids on the other hand has improved 100%......im more involved in things they do and they r loving it......i just hope hubby and i can work this out or it is gonna end in a bad way..........i dont know how much longer we can live like this.....were u n addict or just curious or?..its a very good ? and thank you for bringing it up....