How is Chezz? Bmac? everyone

I have been away for a few days, with some kind of terrible flu/cold..I have thought about you guys everyday.  I am so sorry chez that I wasn't here for you this weekend, when I said I would be.  Bmac, are you still going strong?

Sheila

[CinCee]

Hey, are using the "recipe"?  I am on Day 3 and felt really awful this morning but dragged myself out and got most of it and I feel better this afternoon.  I really do.

We can do this!!!!

[athena]

I am so glad you are feeling better.I must be or I wouldnt be talking so much.Did you get the tyrosine?I accidentally bought lysine and havent went back to gnc.Think it will make a difference?Keep going,you have the worst behind you.

pixi

[CinCee]

No, I couldn't find that.  I had already asked too many questions by then.  I'm wondering if that's a typo?  I did get evening primrose oil - that supposedly has the gamma stuff in it.  Also it's supposed to be good for aches and pains and female stuff.

I also started using flonase which I get for allergy.  It completely controls the nose problems.  Very easy to get an rx for, too; they will almost always do it by phone.

[Goldenbear]

Yes I am using the recipe combined with klonopin 3x daily plus Gaba and milk thistle for my liver. I believe it is helping me a lot. I sleep ok and my WD is manageable up to this point. All things being equal my WD seem tolerable. Everybody on this site has helped me so much. I only hope I can inspire as many addicts as have helped me. I look forward to a clean future without using hydro.
Goldenbear

[CinCee]

So is there really something called tyrosine?  Could it be called something else?
I am going to try klonopin tonight.  The nights have been far worse than the days so far.  (And the days sure haven't been great, either!)  But it is getting better.

I'm surprised you're feeling so bad on day 4.  That worries me.

[athena]

When I first found this site,I especially read a lot of posts written by the two of you.I wish I had some magic potion to help you all with your pain.All I can offer is prayers and kind words of encouragement.I hope it helps.All of you have defenately inspired me to quit before it got any worse.Hang in there,Life is waiting for us!

[Chezz]

I am so thankful to be a part of this forum.

It has provided me with insight and knowledge that will last a lifetime.

These are some exerps from another poster that has helped me.
This came about because I finally realized this is much bigger than a simple addiction to meds.


Days turn to minutes
and minutes to memories
life sweeps away the dreams
that we have planned
You are young and you are the future
so suck it up and tough it out
and be the best you can


You have made all the connections
and finally understand the bottom line.  We are wired
to be addictive.  It is just the way we are made.  Sad
in some ways , but a simple reality.  (from Pon)

I finally FEEL COMPLETE. I have been hurting myself for so long. Now I want to heal.

I want to end the cycle.

I am so scared right now. I can't imagine a life free of "escapes". To actually live life to the fullest. To just LIVE.

I want to be FREE.

For me, that means I have to abstain from all "toxins".

I have hurt myself for so long. I don't know if I have the strength to be completely SOBER. I have always had a "crutch".

Can YOU imagine a life free of these things? To be COMPLETELY SOBER.

I have.................. I am scared. Yet I know this is the only way that I will be able to live FREE.

Because I am an addict.

One drink, one pill, one cig......for me they all lead down the same path.... ADDICTION.

I want to be free.
Chezz

[CinCee]

What section of GNC do you think the manganese and l-tyrosine would be in?  Are they herbals, supplements, vitamins or what?  I just don't want to ask.

[CinCee]

You are right, it does vary.  I have done this several times before from much higher doses and longer times than this time but this time has been the worst for certain things.  I think due to lower dose and shorter time I had potty trouble for only 2 days.  But the aches, rls (resless leg syndrome), general restlessness, climbing the walls have all been pretty bad, especially at night.  I am on day 3 and felt better this afternoon, but not so good this evening.  The aches were actually almost gone for a while.
Are you taking anything else?  Some here are hardcore chem-free.  Not me.  I am taking klonopin tonight.  Last night I took trazadone and xanax and soma and finally slept but had really hard time getting up this morning.
I'm also having some hot licorice herb tea with steamed soy milk.  This is not from any "recipe".
I think many of us come from severe pain.  I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it.  That's how it always restarts for me.  I wish there was an answer, but I sure don't know what it is.

You have many cohorts here, anyway.  It's been helping me tons!

[Chezz]

Thank you. Thank you all for just being here. You all have helped me so much.

I remember the 1st day I found this site. I was so scared. I knew this would be more than finding info on w/d. I knew this would lead to something very much MORE.

I knew this would be a journey.

I have gained strength from all of you. Thank you.  
Chezz

[athena]

I noticed your post and seem to be the only one up right now.lol I dont know a lot about how long this s*(&*^&%^ feeling lasts but Im on day 4 and it seems to go back and forth.Feel ok/feel like you know lol You are a day ahead of me.From what Iv'e read,you will be feeling better very soon,especially if you are as determined as you sound.I wish you luck.This is really hard but it's doable lol Keep posting,im sure you will get a lot of help here,I just think theyre all sleeping right now.LUCKY THEM
Hope you have a peaceful night.

pixi

[CinCee]

Pixi, just for the record, I'm up.

[athena]

I see your still hurting.Me too,thats what im doing up.Nights are so hard.The RLS is terrible at night.I know what you mean about still having the pain that drives you to pills.If someone could just invent a great painkiller thats not addictive.Maybe I'll get a chemistry degree afterim clean and dont want to make my own hydro lol Just think,tomorrow we will all be one day closer to life...........Hope you all have a peaceful night.

pixi

[Chezz]

Day 1, 2, 3, 4 they all get better. The only way it can get worse it to take another pill.

I hope things ease up for you guys. I know how hard it is....cause I'm on day 5 tomorrow.
Chezz

[CinCee]

OK, here's a thought:  Any chance that theraflu is exacerbating the RLS?  I'ts probably the alcohol and the heat that's helping the most.  You could do something similar with some herb tea and a shot.  Just a thought.

[dreamin]

Thank you, well I decided to quit smoking.  I am on day 2.  This cold or flu whatever it was got into my lungs and I was aching and hurting from coughing so much.  I decided , if this is even a fraction of what people with emphysema or cancer go through, then they can have it..I QUIT!!!

I am sorry everyone was wondering..

sheila

[bmac]

Good for you.That's next on my list of habits to break.I've been
smoking for 20 years and I really believe it's just like the drug addiction,it is hard to break.But hey,if you can beat
the narcotic thing then it should be do-able.
Well I'm off to the dentist to have a cavity filled and this time it will be really nice not to ask for a prescription.
I bet my dentist is going to say What's up with you and not
wanting a script.I'm sure he will approve.Hang tuff today and
remember smoking is really bad for you(us)and you need to stop it!So stop it!!(God,listen to me)
                         Bill

[Synderella]

The melodies are currently playing on my computer now.  I am at work. . .at least my body is here. . .but mentally I am sooooo far away!  It

[rooney30]

You're a stronger peron than I by just making it into work. Today is my second day out of work. I don't know how I could handle going in without the lortabs. I just want to be done and over them already. Have you tried quitting before? What is it that you're addicted to? I'm new to this forum, so I don't know everyone's story. I know I saw your name in some of the postings, I should probably re-read them. At least you CAN hide in your office. I'm surrounded bt people verywhere, and get pulled into many different throughout the day. I'm petrified of going in tomorrow. Very close to making my drug call, but i hope that I don't do it. Don't feel bad about venting....I'm gathering that's what this forum is for. I'm thankful for finding this site. Keep venting if you want, and good luck with your day.

Steph

[diso]

Hello Deva, just putting a call out to see how you are today.  I have read that you are tapering down like me.  What amount are you at today?  I am at 60mg today and tomorrow.  I will then drop to 40mg on Thursday.  Down from 160mg a day last week.  Please let me know how its going.

[bmac]

You are going thru the mindgame sh**.Don't give in,it gets much better.It took me until day 20 until I stopped thinking
'I'm a druggie,God I need drugs'.It will pass but you have to be strong.I know it sounds easy for me to say but I was there
a month ago.I'm at day 41 and I still think about narcotics but not in the same way.I am not craving them.I am hating them and when you reach that point it will be alot easier on you mentally.
I know it hurts and I know it would be easy to just drop a few pills but you would be starting over again.Now that I am here I wish I could take that from you.I know now that it gets better,you don't feel that right now.Your sanity is far more important than a stupid pill.As for the insurance thing.
Your doctor has to be the one that says it is a pre existing
illness.Your insurance company has to use his/her records.
If you have seen another doctor before this one,that doctors records will be used also.Money problems are the least of your
worries now.That can be worked out.Their not going to put you
in jail or destroy your life.The medical community isn't out to get you.They just have a big problem now with all the drug chasers and con artists using them for cheap drugs.Let that lye for awhile.Work on your problem not theirs.
       It does get better,there is hope.
                  bmac

[onestep]

Hey....your doing great ! You really would have felt like **** if you had stayed home..belive me. The way our minds are working while we stumble into sobriety...we try to run away from feelings right ? So taking something numbs those feelings...now with nothing it's a learning process....of course the physical stuff drives us crazy and sends us back into thinking that using is the way. Try to recall when you were younger before the pain and meds....what did you like to do ? What made you feel good ? Your mind remembers those things, but it has to get past the resent past of med use to the distant past of " good clean fun "

As far as night time...try to change your pattern....if you read in bed before sleeping...go to another room...then go to bed. Take a long walk with some fresh air an hour before settleing in..a hot bath before bed...try some lavender aroma therapy or calming tea....these things do work but it takes time. Your only ten days out...figure how long you were using....your doing great though.

i really understand about the insurance...it's getting out of hand...the bastards wouldn't pay for one of my operations...long story but it sucked.

Life will always have problems for us we know that...you will be tested many times but you can make it....I'm not a big religious type but every night I say the prayer " Now I lay me down " it reminds me of being young when life was good....many of us addicts didn't have great childhoods growing up...but there were good moments in our lives...we must remember them. Because the present existance is clearly not working and causing us pain...that's why we want to stop and move on....

I hope I'm making sense and it gives you some sense of encouragement....keep walking towards the light...leave the darkness behind you where it belongs.

[rooney30]

Hang in there synderella...onestep just made me feel a ton better. today is day 2 for me and i feel like i'm really going to make it now. of course, this feeling could easily change within minutes, b/c that's how my day has been going so far. One minute, everything is fine, the next minute i'm ready to search for more lortabs. I just look at how many people are way worse off with addiction,not to mention having to deal with raising a family, and they are getting through this horrible struggle. We can all do it. I want to be the person that I was before the LTs took over, and there is no way of me getting back there unless I quit cold turkey now. I can't taper, I'll just pop them like candy if I get a hold of them. See, already, i'm thinkinG again about getting some in my system, but i need to just STAY STRONG...one day at a time. Just forget about any other stresses or problems out there and ficus on getting clean. Once we're clean, everything else will fall into place. Good words of advice again onestep...i'll be in touch.

[Chezz]

Thanks Sheila for wondering. Today is a little better pain wise. I just hopes it gets better in the next couple days. I am also going to get epidural steroids as soon as my Doc can get an auth#.

It hurts to sit. So I haven't been able to sit in my office for very long before I get a little reminder runnning down my leg that it is time to lay down with my heat pack.

I hope things are going good for you with the smoking thing. I would like to quit too. I have cut down by a half, just from not taking the pain meds. I am also on Wellbutrin/Zyban.

I will try and check this and write as much as I can. Thanks
Chezz

[Chezz]

Syn - I know the mental stuff is a b#$. Maybe you can go back and read some of your posts to get your strength back from them. You were so positive and KNEW this was it. You talked to your doc, and also your supervisor. You HAVE to make it.

I know you will make it through. You have gone too far to have to go through this again. And next time you might not be as comfortable, or it could be 10x worse.

You already have come so far......
Chezz

I feel for you. I know how hard the mental games are. And Onestep was right. You are probably much better off at work than at home dwelling on it even more.

[onestep]

No problem my friend...for me it's one minute at a time...however as time goes on it gets longer and longer between thoughts....think of it like growing a new tree or plant in your head....it will take time and good things to make it grow...sunlight being outdoors....good food and vitimans for strength...water..water ...water to flush out the old soil...excersise like the wind bending the stalks or branches to become strong....in time this plant..tree...your brain WILL become stronger and so will your desire to keep it that way.

I knew someone that found a picture of themselves before getting addicted...they kept that in front of them at work..in their car...etc. to remind him of what he wanted to get back to....he has been clean 3 years now and still has that picture in front of him. He moved forward by looking back...that can help sometimes...not looking back at the bad all the time...I lost my arm and leg at 14...when I look back it's a drag at times, but I did have fun and did some great things....I've done great things since loosing my arm and leg too....life goes on my friend....choose to have fun...there really is enough **** happening to us without pilling more on.....go for it...you will not be disappointed with the outcome.

[CinCee]

I have had epidural steroids several times.  Sometimes they give an IV with verced and fentanyl.  When I had it without the IV, just oral valium, it went just fine.

Also, I've been offered prednizone for pain, but I have heard it causes depression so I haven't tried it.

Are you taking an antidepressent?  They are supposed to be very good for pain if you can tolerate them.

Good luck.

[Chezz]

I have also had epidurals 3x. I also asked my doctor for this the 1st day I saw him about my back. I am finally going to get them done ASAP. That was 2 months ago, BTW. They didn't work until after the 5th month. I can't wait that long this time. The pain is driving crazy.

I have also gone to Nuclear Medicine and had radiation injected in my arm. Then they can do a bone scan. It is pretty neat to see. I wasn't too happy about the radiation though!

I called my Doc this morning(otherwise my wife was) to find out if there is anything non-narcotic that can help. Hopefully there is something out there I haven't tried.

The pain has been getting worse still. The numbness on the top of my foot, and my big toe, feels so weird. It isn't the same pain I am having higher up. Plus  I have never had it go below my knee.
Thanks for the help,
Chezzz

[CinCee]

Chezz, have you tried prednizone (oral steroid) and/or antidepressent?

[Chezz]

one more thing. Verced and fentanyl? That is a mind eraser, usually done while doing concious sedation. I have had that for another procedure. Not for epidural. I bit the bullet. It can't hurt worse than the shooting pain down my leg. I could feel the needle hit the nerves and everything. I helped direct him by where the pain was going. Left leg, right leg, ect. It hurt like he@#$%. Anything to make the pain go away.

just like I told my pain doc a few years ago, I haven't ever had anything done to me that has hurt worse than the pain I am already in.

I hope you will stick it out. There are alot of people finally speaking up here which is great.
Chezz

[CinCee]

Yeah, it's quite the IV coctail.  I've had it about 6x with edpidurals (cervical and lumbar).

The thing is, when docs offer me this stuff or rx, I just cannot say no.  The temptation is not about getting high; it's about pain relief.  That's how it starts.  Very quickly though, I start running out too soon, doc hopping, the whole nine yards.

You are so lucky to have your wife helping you.  My husband just thinks I have the flu.  Well I AM sick, all right!

I'll be thinking about you tons, because I know what it's like with the pain.

[Goldenbear]

It was good to get on line and read your threads. I was concerned with you when I didn't see any posts from you yesterday. It was great to see your wife post for you in your absence. As we have related to eachother I am rounding day 4 and I feel like a truck hit me. I have been as busy as a beaver. I am really Achy with some serious ebee jeebies, Cold sweats, cramps. Really grumpy, but clean. I think about the Lorcet a lot. That is what scares me the most. Post drug abuse must be as hard as getting clean. I hope your day gets better.
Goldenbear

[viper9t61]

wow..........i was just on the net looking up things on opium withdrawls.........see im not the only one going through this.  sorry people......... wish it was just me !  i got hit by a drunk driver almost 4 years ago.........(how time passes when your haveing fun )lol    ended up with 9 1/2 inch screws and a couple of titanium plates in my neck........and a spinal cord injury.  of course..........along with this comes some discomfort.hmmmmmmm.ok,  ok,   should refrase....pain..... !!!!!!!!!!!!  even though ive always been one of those adventures souls   from playing the rough sports, and even grew up being a bull rider....i really didnt know what true pain was.............(well  had never passed out from it before any way) i have now...quite a few times actually.!...........so of course  the helpless doctors can only seem to give out pain meds.........(not that i blame them)......what else is there in this day and age ??????  any way ............( which leads me in this forum )       after 3 1/2 years of takeing ocxy...............i just got tired of being sick and tired.......heck.i hurt any way............why be a addict to ? lol   any way in about an hour  ( i can give the minutes too )  lol   i quit cold turkey 5 days ago................. im not worried about sucomming to the temptations of getting back on them  ( way to bullheaded for that) lol    i was just curoius, if any would would have a ball park idea, ( i realize its differnt for all people)  but how long the ranges are for opium withdrawls are ?    im sorry if im  asking in the wrong place here..............thanx

[Goldenbear]

Here are the vitamins that i have been taking according to Thomas recipe; Chelated Zinc 30mg x2, Chelated Manganese 20mg, B6 400mg, Proportioned Magnesium complex form 500mg, Milk Thistle 2x daily, L-Tyrosine which is a free form amino acid (GNC has them for about $10 for $50) I take what Thomas suggests which is 4000 mg a day for my 1st ten days. Gaba 500mg x3 daily plus Stresstabs with Zinc. Remember to only get chelated vitamins listed, they bond to cells easier which helps in absorbtion. I feel that the L-Tyrosine and B6 are the real helpful vitamins. I can feel them hit my body about an hour after I take them. It almost feels like the Lorcet in many ways...
My real problem is that I loved my Lorcets soooo much I miss them. My mind is playing with me trying to get me to weasel another script. My aches and pains remind me I am an addict and I need to stay on course. Also, if you have the Klonopin it will help you sleep. Hot water has also helped me very much. From all of the threads I've read my feeling is the physical aches and pains should be gone by the 10th day. I hope.
Goldenbear

[Chezz]

I am scared. I am lonely. I am tired. I am an addict.

For as long as I can remember I have been hiding behind some sort of

[bmac]

Thanks for the thought.I am on day 41.This weekend was really hard but I made it.I hope Chezz is ok,his wife posted yesterday
and said he was pretty bad off,but he is strong and he has a good wife and he has us.I hope he will come back today and let
us know.How about you.The flu sux.I took the flu shot last week and I hope it helps.I have never taken it before.I did see my surgeon yesterday again and he still thinks I need to be on
MS contin/Kadian.But I hadn't decided what to do.I will make that call in the next week ahead.My knee replacement will probley
be Oct 14th or 15th.I really want to do it narcotic free but
in reality I'm sure when I wake up I will be screaming for that morphine pump.But I no longer obsess over it.It will be fine.
I will leave the hospital in 4 days and without a prescription for pain.Once again let us know how you are,we wonder!!!
                             bmac

[athena]

I thought you were a few days ahead of me.Only day 5 for you?I hope you have a better night tonight than last.

pixi

[athena]

I wish it were the theraflu.I may get addicted to thatlol The theraflu is what kept me going for the 6 mos before i got treatment for hep.I really thought it was the flu.Why does everything have to feel like the flu?Wish it could just feel like a cold.

pixi

[Chezz]

I think its 5. I am not counting the days. I am counting my blessings.

There is so much more I have learned from this. About myself, about other people.

When I go to bed tonight. I will be counting my blessings that I am SOBER.

For me, that is something I haven't been able to say to myself in a long time.

I hope it gets easier for you...I am glad that we have each other to lean on when it gets tough...
Chezz

[CinCee]

I understand what you're saying about the theraflu but consider this:  Benadryl and sudafed don't always give me RLS.  It only happens sometimes and then I take benzo to overcome it.
So just MAYBE, even though it never caused it before...

I can also tell you that when my daughter was a baby and we were getting ready for a long flight the pediatrician suggested giving her benadryl to help her sleep thru it, but said make sure to try it first, because some kids go through the ceiling on it.  And wouldn't ya know, she's a teenager now and it still SOMETIMES sends her up the walls.

[athena]

Im going to skip it tonight and see what happens.You may be right sherlock lol I mst be the cleanest person in america right now.All the hot baths.And im wrinkled like a prune.Im trying to laugh at this fine mess I got myself into.I gave up the johnny Mathis this morning...couldnt stop crying.Geez,next i'll want to quit smoking.


Chezz,didnt mean to confuse you.Im sure im off on the days.You are defenately going to make it.I do know that it's easier when you have others to share the pain.

pixi

[CinCee]

I quit smoking 16 years ago.  I still dream about it at night.  It took 3 tries over about 8 years, once off for 2 years.  The first try was the hardest.  It got much easier after I knew what I had to look forward to.  And there was no such thing as Zyban then!

I'm so dang old.

You are my mentor right now because you are one day ahead of me and still hanging tough.

I'm just surprised you still have RLS.  I was hoping that would let up soon.  Really soon.  I tried to go out and walk but it was just too cold, 58 degrees I think.  I just didn't think it was worth getting chilled.

So you're skipping the therflu.  Are you taking anything else?  If not you will be my queen of w/d!

[athena]

You were so smart to quit smoking.I think that would be harder for me to quit than hydro.The only thing I have taken is that lysine and calcium.I hate to take anything that makes me tired.Thats how I got into this mess,I wanted energy.Since I know you are following a day behind me.I am going to stay the course.I wish it was cool out here tonight.Where do you live ?Canada?Im in the great smoky mountains.I haven't enjoyed the mountains much since I didn;t know what to do with all that energy from the hydro. lol I think the lupus makes the rls thing worse so dont worry,it's prob. just me.Im 39 how old are you?These pills have made me feel old.

pixi

[CinCee]

I am 4- something, I forget.  That's how old.  Just kidding.  I am 46.
Yeah, I'm pretty close to Canada.  I just looked at the thermometer.  It's 50 outside.
Being close to Canada is how I got the Soma - it's not over-the-counter, it's ON the shelf.  Just in case you don't know soma is methocarbomol (sp?) - a barbituate, the docs call it a muscle relaxer.  Also in Canada, codeine is over-the-counter in very small doses - less than a tylenol 3.

So we're no TOO far apart in age, are we?

When I look in the mirror I think I look more like a junkie than I did when I was using, an astonishing 3 days ago.

I don't want to be tired during the day either.  I have issues with that, too.  And it's OK with me if I don't sleep, I just want to lie still and rest.  The 1/2 klonopin I took 3 hours ago didn't help much.  I don't want to take more of that because it does last so long.  Same with trazadone, which is what treatment centers use - I know that made me tired this morning - it always has.  That's the good thing about Xanax; it's gone in 6 hours, at which time I usually wake up instantly.  I've just had to take so much more than usual the last 2 nights that I thought I'd try the klonopin tonight.  Maybe it's too old - been in the cabinet a long time.

So now I've gotten back up and took a .25 baby xanax, one soma, and am having another decaf herb tea with soy milk.  My last resort will be a little trazadone.

But tomorrow I really need to get back to work - I work at home.

I thought of putting a shot of booze in the tea but that may be stepping over the line for safe mix and match.

BTW, you are my idol whether you take anything for sleep or not.

[CinCee]

About the smoking:  Hydro w/d is MUCH harder.  As I recall there was only one day of physical stuff - after that it was all mental.  All you have to do is really,really want it.  I started at 14 so I had no idea how to live without it, but I learned.  I think the relapses came from being around others who smoked.  That would not be so common now.  My big motivator was watching my mother's quality of life drop to zero from emphyzema, and then she died a painful death from lung cancer that metastisized to her brain.  She was 60.  She was OLD when she was 50.  She never knew her grandchildren.

Now there's a drug that really should be illegal.

But that said,  I personally think you should only take on one thing at a time.

[Chezz]

I think I am going to try and kill 2 birds with one stone. I hate smoking.
Chezz

[CinCee]

If you do that, with no benzos or zyban or anything, we are going to have to give you some kind of supreme medal.

I could not be so brave.

I am trying to tell myself that we all have different approaches and they are all OK in a 1960's sort of way, but... I feel like a baby compared to you!

[athena]

I thought you must be north.We are having unusually warm days and nights here.I also watched my dad pass at 60 from emphysema.My mom is 60 and has it also.Maybe it's not the hydro I should be concerned with lol Codeine on the shelf? I think that makes you much stronger than me.That would be more tempting than going next door and begging to a friend.I will do neither lol We are not far apart in age.I use to feel so young and alive 2 short yrs ago.Thats why I have to quit.The pills have also kept me from getting out ,having fun and havent been on a date in yrs.My sister keeps telling me that if i dont find a guy soon,I'll lose my looks and be alone lol She doesn't realise that thats what those hydros make me want to do.I fantasize about living on a secluded island in the south pacific after my son is grown.Maybe I wont want to be alone so much anymore......I am sorry for the reason your here but you are truly helping me get through this night.I keep trying to doze off and cant.The rls thing.Other than that I really feel good.Energetic and cheerful.I hope that eases your worries about tomorrow.Well Iv'e rambled enough,think i'll give bed one more try.Good night to all.

pixi

[Chezz]

I haven't drank in probably 3-4 months. I never drank when I took the meds. Didn't like to. Then I would F$#% my buzz up from the meds.

The rational thinking we all go through!!!!LOLOLLOL

Anyways, Like I said before. I don't remember the last time I drank and I don't want to.

Alcohol is "uncontrolled" and will f#@$ kill your soul.
Chezz

PON- another poster, put it best. I just have to find it.

[percsnomas]

Welcome....we don't care if you post upsidedown in the margins as long as you post.  As far as boring us please. Everybody's story here is of equal and paramount importance.
You'll get all the support you desire here....and congrats on a great start(however it was brought about)

[viper9t61]

perc.................thanx ,  i appreciate  the thought............not sure when ill be getting back here, ( my new  nite time passtime )  reading every ones story,  wow................... just wish i could help.....!im self employed and have to be on the road for while,  .......just not sure when ill be back on here.........3-4 days im guessing.   i wont be takeing my  (DRUG BAG along)  ...........  so dont want any body to be thinking i didnt make it............I PROMISE  ...............I WILL .............TAKE CARE ONE AND ALL..............AND THANX !!!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  AND P,S  just incase anybody ask.........its not viper.......... because im a snake...........lol

[athena]

Good luck out there on the road.You seem to be doing so well off all those meds.you must have a lot of drive and determination.If you get too tempted,just find a laptop and we'll try to straighten you out.lol

[Chezz]

Can anybody tell me what to expect when I quit. I have smoked for about 10yrs. I hate it. My wife doesn't.  

I am also a pilot(private). Kind of hard to smoke in the cockpit!!! It can be done though. Actually you would be surprised what pilots get away with in the cockpit!

Anyways, back to my question. I have cut down from about 1 1/2 packs while on the meds to about 8-9 cigs a day with no problem.

Any help? For me this will probably be the hardest thing to rid myself of.
Chezz

P.S. I saw what you said Cee, more info though!!  :)

[suzieneedshelp]

Man one thing at a time.  Jess adviced me not to quit smoking while you are quitting your habit with the drugs.  It makes sense really.  You will do it when u have totally conquered this struggle.  Give yourself one vice for now.  Well thats my opiniion hon.
Suzie

[Chezz]

I've been under alot more pressure than this. My last job I worked 12-16 hour days. I was a Country Manager. That's the time when the pain went down both legs. I had some major principals in town. I had to drive them throughout Tokyo, with f$#^^ing pain running down both legs. I was in the middle of Tokyo, and I almost lost it. The pain was soooooooooo bad.

Pressures fun, you just have to Focus it. My focus/energy right now is being Positive and taking things as they come. I might as well taper and quit.

I probably won't be able to do it my 1st time. I don't expect to. Although I have said that before and succeeded. You just gotta want it bad enough.
I'm not starting today or anything. I am talking in the coming months.
Chezz

P.S. you love birds need to take it outside in the hall. ;)
hehehehehehehhehehheheh

[Chezz]

This struggle is conquered in my book. Day 5........going on a lifetime.

When I do something, I don't turn back too easily. As long as I don't have pain, I have no use for the meds.

I will admit my situation is a little different than everybody elses.

When I was on them, I was taking them for pain. But I also got addicted/dependent in the process. Hard issue to separate. I was still addicted just like everybody else. I just got sick of taking them. When I got to 9 a day(with the occasional 10-15), everyday, I had to put a stop to it.  

I don't crave them. Although someone's post of 10mg percs, perc'ed my ears.    ;)  Never had those.

I like myself too much when I am clean to go back.

My struggle is staying competely sober. Drinking has been an issue and I recognize that now. That is going to be my struggle.
At least that is what I keep telling myself!!!
Chezz

[Chezz]

P.S. Thank goodness I didn't have "outside" access. Otherwise I would have had "a habit the size of Texas".

I only had one doc. It is a very controlled situation. I could have kept on going. He offered patches. He wanted to treat the pain and addiction. I decided I would be better off with some pain, than to continue to live my life revolving around the next RX.

I was also running out too soon. I got sick of the w/ds every week!!!!!! There was nothing I could do.

Like I said, lucky I didn't have "outside" access!! LOL
Chezz

[GOD]

You're right about DRINKING being the MAIN issue here. I can tell you that I didn't feel "Human" until a bit of sobriety from the booze. All the other **** is just a playful chemical dance in your brain. The Liquor is soul-stealing. After ALMOST 1 year (off the Booze), I feel SO MUCH BETTER! My fears have almost all evaporated, and I feel the power of the lifeforce flowing through me. I can "will" things to happen...(no, I'm not being crazy.. I MEAN IT) It is a connection to the HUMAN level that CAN be acheived.

Jessesarpy

[viper9t61]

would it be stupid to ask how every one is doing today ?  lol  day 6 half gone.........(well.now that i think about it)  its technicaly been over the 6th the day mark.     i really appreciate the input and advice.......i just feel so bad for some else haveing to go through this.......hard to imagine . i did quit cold turkey......i really hadnt even thought of going off it before..........i just happen to get a touch of phnuemona.......and couldnt keep any thing down for a couple of days...........but in some...........  hard to explain way......my mind and body new it was time.........its been almost 4 years ............a lifetime.......or at least part of a waisted life time !  120 doses of vicodin,  and   40 mg  of ocxy  (3 times a day) each month  for close to 4 years  (januuary)  .     i didnt give it much thought.........i kinda like the nike commercials  ........JUST DO IT......  so i guess thats what im doing.       i hope as a newbie here,  im not boreing any body or over stepping my bounds,  by posting in the wrong part of this forum.    ( i think i can understand that some in here ,  might not be there happy go lucky selfs for a while )lol   but ..........i know........ this too shall all pass,         i wish every one the best........amd thanx for the company on the sleepless  nights

[pon]

All...I know I have disappeared for a few days...traveling for work...18 hour days....

BUT, wanted to say this in a big way.  ALCOHOL is the worst.  I am a recovering alcoholic, 12/02 will be 15 years sobor for me.  I fell into the vikes by accident and am now 23 days sobor from then.

Alcohol was the worst drug I can ever imagine.  It destroys your body and mind more severely than any other and the w/d and sobering process are long and agonizing...

Any one here who is addicted to opiates...whatever...stay away from alcohol, it will snare you even more quickly when you are free from other addictions...

I would sooner put a gun to my head than ever have another drink..it would be less painful than the slow death of alcohol addiction...

pon