How to confront my Boyfriend

We have been dating for about 2 years, and he has always smoked marijuana recreationally. Every once in a while he will smoke for a few days in a row and after this, when he is not doing it for a few days I notice him start becoming very short and distant with me. He also seems to cut himself off from the rest of the world. I would even say he seems deppresses and unhappy with his life. Our relationship really suffers when this happenes. He always tells me he doesn't do it very often, and there isn't a problem. He also says that he has no intentions of ever cutting it out of his life completly. How can I confront him and let him know that I think he has a problem? I am afread he will become defensive. He looks at it like when other people (including myself) drink socially or to relaxe. Does anyone have any advice on how to confront a problem like this?

[AS_Steve]

  Since nobody else is jumping in on this I'll give you my 2 cents worth. The symptoms you are describing don't seem typical of smoking pot. Are you sure there is'nt more going on with him? Perhaps he is not telling you something like other drugs he might be using. I might get blasted for saying this but I don't see occasional pot smoking any worse than occasional drinking. If anything his mood should be up and his appetite should be healthy. I personally don't smoke (pot) but know people who do and they are outgoing, happy and are in good relationships.
  Have a heart to heart with him and find out what is really going on.

  Steve

[saturncal]

I guess I should have mentioned he has a past of drug use. He used to take extacy pretty much daily for a few months. This was about 7 or 8 years ago, but has had a perminante effect on him. I have read articles saying people with emotional problems should be more careful when smoking because it can cause long term effects. I don't know much about any of this. I just want to be supportive to him and I want our relationship back. Thank you for your advice.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Some people can use pot as a self-medicating drug to keep them calmer. It also could be a s Steve said, there could be more to it. After 2 years you should be able to speak to him about your concerns and views.

[AS_Steve]

  Did'nt mean to condone the use of pot but from all Ive seen and read it is not very harmful in itself but it does open the door to using harder drugs. When I did smoke pot in my early 20's all it did to me was make me laugh, enjoy sex even more and had me munching on Doritos like there was no tomorrow. I honestly believe that there is more to the problem than just the pot.

  I'm no expert though, if I was I'd be charging $150/hr for my time.

  Steve

[saturncal]

Thank you both so much. It makes me feel better. And we should be able to talk about it. Like I said, I am fortunite enough to have never gone through anything like this. I have never touched drugs (except for weed a few time) so it is very hard for me to understand his past, and also what is going on now. I appreciate your time.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Grease the skids before you talk. It simply means to speak respectfully with lots of love and caring before you bring the matter to him.

[AS_Steve]

  It's the reason we're here, to help eachother.

  Good luck,

  Steve p.s.   Don't worry...beeeeeeeee appppppy

[ShatrdKY]

I knew a guy who had taken xtasy for a while(off & on for about 8 months) and he had become "emotionless" and "distant".
He was aware of his own condition and explained it like this: "I just don't care to react to things like i used to; like when someone looks at me and says what's wrong i'm really happy! when someone asks me what i'm mad at i have no idea what they're talkin' about!
it's just how i feel. i feel nothing!"
He also aquired a nervous "tic" in his neck.
I think the X may have burnt out his emotional awareness or something like that, He's still a pretty good guy though.
I'm not saying your boyfriend has this condition; just be aware that it's possible he just  don't have any outlets to express his emotions and the pot helps him do so, then when the pot isn't there he could be feeling bad and not even realize it.
Start by asking if the pot helps him, if so; tell him you understand then tell him how YOU feel .
Honesty is the best answer!