I'm trying to kick a hydrocodone habit. It's day three. Physical withdrawls haven't been that bad. It's the depression and anxiety I'm struggling with.....life seems boring and pointless without the drugs. I miss it. I feel like I just ended a long term relationship. I'm truly heartbroken. Any thoughts? Advice? Also, this detox was originally against my will. I've been spending my entire paychecks on lortab off the street. I'm now broke. However; I do have a career and will have money in the bank by this weekend. I'm scared of what I will do once I have money again. And I know my dealer is going to blow up my phone as I already owe her money as it is. Advice? Thoughts? Please?
Day 3 was the toughest for me. If you can get thru today...it gets a little easier. your brain is craving and will do what it can to get you back on. Please take it an hour at a time. There are some good pages to read on Health Pages about withdrawal and anxiety. Get out if you can.
I'm so happy someone actually replied to my post You see this has been my deepest darkest secret for years now. I'm almost leading a double life. Wow, it just feels good that someone acknowledged me and knows exactly what I'm going through.
You can definitely do this but it takes some work on your part and you need to stay focused and stay motivated.
First,pay that person off and delete the phone number. Tell the person not to call you again. It's a very important step!
I know it feels like a huge loss;I understand that very well. Exercise will help you enormously! You need to get those endorphins working on their own and they need a jump. Be sure to eat and drink well. Get proper rest and stay disciplined.
It gets easier but you'll have thoughts and urges throughout the process and it could be for months,years,or forever. If you know that going in, you can make a plan to work through it now so you can draw on it in the future.
There are days when I struggle or have thoughts...In those early days, I vacuumed A LOT! It helped me(something about the noise and the movement). Later,I added exercise which I don't like but it works. Now,I leave the house and walk until I'm better and it doesn't take long most times.
Also, know what triggers you. That's so important. If you can identify triggers you can side step them. Some examples are: lonliness,boredom,hunger,etc...location is important. Where are you when you get a craving? Think about that. For a lot of people it's always at home so look at that and get out of the house!
I mean it though: get moving! You'll thank me tomorrow!
Wow I can relate to your story. I'm so ashamed of the money I spent on drugs since my relapse 2 months ago. I work hard for my paycheck too and wasting a mere penny to harm myself is wrong on so many levels. I could list a hundred reasons why I should stay clean. I can list another 100 things I risk to lose if I don't. Poverty and sickness doesn't reflect the liklihood of a successful recovery either. Other people's love is not strong enough. Will power is not my saving grace...not in the long run anyhow.
Recovery is a spiritual awakening (I don't mean religious). It asks me to nurture a relationship with myself. Relapsing seems to have kicked the crap out of my self-concept. I have a choice to be my worst enemy or work on the friend thing. Recovery is indeed the most difficult work I will ever do because my mind, body and spirit need equal attention.
It's gonna take self-LOOOOOOVE, self-forgiveness and self-care. So what does that look like in action? Vicki gives great examples. Regualr meetings helped me to 'recover' myself the first time (10 year chip)...and the second time (1 year chip) so I'm convinced they will get me outta this rut too. Missing meetings is already a relapse! NA meetings and this forum hold me accountable. Honesty is paramount (No fooling a room full of addicts anyhow ;o) When we share, we can move forward. Keeping a journal also helps
We all NEED sobriety, but it's the genuine DESIRE that motivate us to attain it. I'm sending well wishes your way!
Thank you for the encouraging words! It sounds like you are a vet when it comes to this. I'm sorry to hear about your relapse. From your experience alone, I know you'll pull through. I've been trying to give myself more attention through reading and writing (I'm a creative). It helps sometimes....but what rings clear in your message is being nicer to ourselves. Self-love, etc.
Hey,Is there any way you could set up someone to take care of your finances this weekend or you could even go stay with someone.If having money is bad you could find some way to not have money or access this weekend.I know exactly how you feel I spent 20 k on oxys +prescriptions this last year.I am now 47 days clean.It really will get better for you if you stay off.Keep posting and let us know how you are.Good luck buddy
I agree with Ricart - is there someone that you can give your money too so they can hold it for you? Or is there something you need that you could go spend some of it on so that you dont have money for drugs?
Use it to pay off your debts and never talk to your dealer again. You are so early in your detox that you will be very tempted to take a pill.
Good luck - hang in there. Just think how good it would feel when this is over.
Hey secondguess, I am very proud of you. This is not easy but you are doing it one day at a time. We have all felt shame because of our double lives. When I started telling people the hell I put myself through for the last 2 years, they couldn't believe it because I wasn't stumbling all over the place. It's truly amazing when your in the throws of your addiction how we will go to any means to get our drugs....spending all of our money, lying...the list goes on.
There is a lot of power in one addict helping another addict. Yes, we still must go through our own personal regrets but at least we don't feel alone anymore which is key for recovery.
Keep it up and put that paycheck in the bank...maybe treat yourself to a massage or a really nice meal if you can swing it..
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