Hubby is freaking out.

[opiateswon]

For the last couple of days my husband has been really craving a pill and has actually asked him to find him one, "just 1". I'm doing my best to stay focussed on my own recovery and support him as much as I can. A part of me feels like he's testing my decision to stay off of them and the other part worries that his will to be sober is not the same as mine. My choice to stop the prescriptions was based on free will and I feel like I have forced him to do the same. I actually think he has been using at work and last weekend and I have not confronted him. Since Sunday he has given me every excuse you can imagine to have just 1 more and I'm trying soooo hard. I love him more than words could ever express and I'm afraid he's testing that love. I don't have enough time under my recovery belt to councel him. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[opiateswon]

I went to work for awhile today and hubby started talking to me again. He seems ok and re-focussed if thats possible. I know he's doing a different job at work this week and it's alot more physical then usual for him. I got a meeting list from a friend today but I don't think I will ask hubby to go at this point. Time will tell right. Thank you all for posting advice.

[cathy5841]

If u can't go to meeting then a counselor or if money is an issue try a pastor they r often free. This forum is great but it takes more to stay clean. You both need it but doesn't sound like he will go. Recovery is hard even with a supporting hubby.  You really need after care!  You are doing awesome. Keep postin!

[avisg]

This is not an na meeting and it wont be enough to keep you clean if aa/na is not your thing find something else but you do have to find something if you want long term recovery

[avisg]

I agree with ga guy ,also you can only be responsible for your recovery you have to guard it with your life and that means no pills in your home .

[opiateswon]

Unfortunately for me, my recovery and attending meetings is limited do to who I am in my community. SOOO many people are forced to attend meetings and they complain about being there. This is my NA meeting and I am very lucky to have a great support system behind me in my recovery, even if hubby cant be one of them right now. I'm doing the very best I can.

[GA Guy]

I think some NA meetings would do you a world of good. You need support. Plus, many people there are also co-dependents with spouses that use or are in recovery. Find a meeting and go. It may save your life and marriage.

[opiateswon]

Thank you so much for your post! I have told him everything I have posted here and unfortunately he is avoiding it. He is not very tech savey and doesnt use the computer but I often share things with him to help him.Hubby has always taken more then me and I cant begin to explain the craziness we have faced in our marriage because of his NEED to have them. I filed for divorce resulting in him going on Soboxin a couple years ago. I brought the pills into our life through a horrible car accident in 2003 and feel so responsible for what has become of us. I know the worst possible scenerio to all of this and am at a loss for words. Thank you for posting. New or Old, it's great to hear any advice.

[JR714]

Have you tried getting him to join this community along with you?  For a long time I have wanted to stop and get off the pills, and it wasnt until I started reading all these posts good and bad til I finally decided that I was going to go through with it.  

Its amazing how powerful support from people who have been there, are there right along with you, and have gone through and are doing great now is!  

Have you told him what you just said here?  Its amazing how we as humans will feel a certain way, and can tell family members, friends, other loved ones about how they feel, but when it comes to the person its about, we don't.  

Its great that your so commited to your recovery, and you should be very proud of that!  Maybe  he doesn't understand why its so important to stop.  I know after reading alot of the articles and post from other people in here...It really made me realize how important it was for me to get off of them!  How much better life is going to be once I am!  And how I'm not in this alone!  

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck, and please keep focused on your recovery!!!  And keep posting!  

I'm sure others with more experience will reply here shortly, I'm just a rookie.

But hang in there!  

[opiateswon]

I've told hubby that it's too hard on me to stay clean and focussed when he's demanding I find him just one. I'm trying to talk to him the best way I can and told him that we may need outside treatment to help us through this. He has yet to respond. I really feel like he's starting to resent me for making this choice. We have not been intimate or had any intimate conversations in 14 days and I'm loosing hope that I can help him. I feel like I'm being selfish by saying I cant handle his addiction and stay clean. I still have hope for him, but I have to focuss.

[moonshyne777]

hmm, I would get firm with him. Tell him look if yu wanna do pills nobody can stop you but I am done with them so please don't ask me to put myself if that position of being the person to get them for you. What he's doing is unfair to you to say the least. You are right though, you need to focus on your recovery and he will only give up the pills if HE and he alone wants to.And we all know that one's too many and a thousands never enough. Are you in any kind of aftercare?

[GA Guy]

Get to aftercare. Simple as that. You're in an uphill battle as it is by trying to get clean together. It's going to be impossible without aftercare.