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Husband Is getting bitter over detox off methadone!

My husband is really getting stressed out by my detox off methadone, he actually made a statement last night that sent chills down my back, he told me maybe you were better off on that stuff & you should go back onto it! I couldnt believe it? He just doesnt get it? Everyday he keeps asking me, how ya feeling? & of course I tell him I feel like ****! Their is no way in hell Im ever going back on methadone! I,ve worked to hard to get where Im at, & Im getting to close to the end of it, to ever reconsider. I think he just doesnt like to see me suffer, & he wants the old me back, the one who was carefree & appeared to be so pulled together, & I keep telling him this will pass, but he is losing his patientience & is becoming almost bitter towards me, he even wanted to take me out car shopping, as my acura is getting a bit old, but I just cant! I dont even have the desire for that, & that freaked him out, I just hope I dont lose my marriage over this? Now I see why they say, make sure you have a supportive spouse in your life prior to detoxing, I thought I did, guess I was wrong?  Penelope
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Avatar universal
When I stopped drinking I had someone close to me tell me I was no fun anymore and I should start back up. That's the kind of stuff I don't need to hear. It does sound like your husband wants the old you back and he does sound like he is trying to make you happy by taking you car shopping. I wish more people understood that it takes time after stopping to get back into the swing of things. I admire the way your sticking to your guns by saying you will never go back on methadone.

Try to remind your husband that things don't change overnight and that you will in time be back and stronger than ever. I not only think your marriage will survive this but be stronger too. .

Take care,

Dove

Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
If you want, I'll kick him in the booty fo a wake-up call. Seriously, get him on this forum! Let him read other's struggles to get and stay clean. Non-users have no idea that it can take that long to get back to even slightly normal. 3-4 months and then another year before normal is pretty much there.
Helpful - 0
356054 tn?1218552475
Hey P reading your post really hits home with me. My wife is dealing with me going through a relapse for the 5th time now. The last time I quit she left and didn't come back til I was clean. I told her this week of yet another relapse knowing she would leave me. I asked her to do one thing for me before she left. I asked her to research and educate herself on this addiction so she could understand what i'm going through. She did and now is supporting me 100%. She has decided to stay and help me anyway she can. This is huge considering the hell she has been through the last 5 years. So my point is try to get your husband to atleast research and learn about methadone and what the withdrawls are like and maybe he will understand better and be more supportive for you. I think once our spouses understand they become more supportive.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just got online and saw your post.  I am not a regular poster so I do not know your history  dealing w/ meth.  

I also do not know if you have been attending NA/AA meetings.  I am not a NA/AA nazi per se but I think early on in recovery (and w/ meth that can be awhile) it is so advantageous to attend these meetings to gain support from people who have walked down the same paths and have had the same struggles.  

Your hubby can not understand because he has not had the same problem.  It is almost like trying to explain what the struggles of being blind is to someone who can see.  Another blind person can understand but it is hard when you havent been in the situation.

If there is a women's group in your area that would be great for you to attend and gain some support.

Keep it up.  You are doing wonderfully and there will be a time you will look back and be able to say, "it was really worth it".

-Chuck
Helpful - 0
460948 tn?1232302122
The mood swings that goes along with being clean is hard for our spouses to handle. They are still thinking of us on drugs and when we say we just can't do something or we feel like **** I think they start to wonder if we will ever get back to normal. As Cathy said this too shall pass. All you need to concetrate on is staying clean and getting through this with flyng colors. Hang in there and things really will improve for you and your hubby. I'm here if you ever need to talk or vent!
Helpful - 0
340590 tn?1290952141
i am sorry you are going through this.  but, remember you are having some serious emotional swings right now.  you will be back to normal, hopefully really soon.  hang in there penelope, this too shall pass.
cathy
Helpful - 0
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