Hydrocodone Addiction Please Help Me!

[Celisha]

I am a 33 year old mother, no pre existing medical conditions, after giving birth last year I became dependant on hydrocodone, at first it helped the pain, then began to help with the energy, and before you knew it I was hooked, line n sinker. As of today I feel like a slave to these pills, and the mental aspect of knowing what I want and need to do seems like it would make it easy, as I have never had anything in my entire life with such control over me. I WANT desperately to be done, I want to be healthy again, for these two beautiful blessings God bestowed me with and for myself and my happiness. I take 3-4 10 mg daily, somedays less yesterday for instance I stopped at 2.5 yet woke up at 2 am suffering stomach cramps n restlessness. I have no where to turn, a treatment center is not ideal because I have responsibilities as a mother that I can't just put on hold, I  need to do this by myself at home and painless as possible( haha, right?!)  Any suggestions as what would help alleviate symptoms? I will also not be having assistance of a medical professional as far as prescriptions. I am looking for natural or over the counter help.
Thank You For Listening. Hope to find answers soon.

[Celisha]

Hi. I am on day 6, and feel so much better. I just wanna caution the Immodium, taking to much of this was the worst part of my detox, so only take the dosage on box. D-3 is a Vitamin, you can find it almost anywhere, I picked mine up at the local Dollar General. You Can Do This. You are aboard a Great Support Group here. I don't know as much as the Awesome people who will be here to support you, but I am here for you also, I have 6 days of experience, and I have never felt Better about myself. :)

[only1barbi]

Just curious, what is the 3D.  I have been following these posts and am amazed at what other people know and share and care for others.  I am on medication from a back surgery and know my day is coming so any help  I can receive (got lots of tips here tonight) would be grately appreciated.  The Immodium is a new tip I knew nothing about and will get some tomorrow as well as the Epsom salts - had no idea about that!

[Celisha]

Thank You. If it wasnt for u great folk on here, I woulda felt so alone.Your understanding,prayers,  faith, n words of motivation  empowered me more to do this. For that I am blessed and forever grateful. I will go to the meeting with or without, and I say that hoping my social anxieties will allow me to do it alone. I am hoping that is something that gets better in the days to come as well.
Thank You Again for your support! :))

[nursegirl6572]

GREAT job sweetie!  4 days is awesome!  You absolutely should be on the uphill climb very very soon!  It would be great if you could get him to go to a meeting with you.  If not, YOU still go though, okay?

Continued prayers and support to you!

[Celisha]

Well as of today, I am going on 4 days clean!! Yesterday I believe was the worst! Guess what, I survived it :) I can't stress how beneficial the vitamins n hot baths are. I have a long way to go, but after making it through what I feared the most, I know everything will work out. I am hoping to get my fiance to set in on an AA meeting this coming weekend, he as of now is showing no intention on quitting himself, I am not sure how this is gonna play in my recovery, but one day at a time is a lot less overwhelming to deal with right now. So that's where I am at. :) My body woke up happy today, no phantom pain, no headache, this is what a almost normal body feels like, I Love IT!

[Celisha]

I am only counting the hours to help anybody looking for info, but it has been 52 hours since my last 5mg dose of hydrocodone. I am still dead set in my decision. But my emotions are reaking havoc today. I am a bit edgy, and very tearful. I woke up feeling what I am pretty sure is normal, no pains or the need to pop a pill to get me going. Last nights late store trip, I supplied myself with a little more ammo, D-3, ibuprofen(the tylenol wasn't working, may be a bit tolerant to that) and some Benadryl. My arms n upper back ached today but I blame that on my boot camp attitude yesterday when I whooped my mind n body into action. I would suggest no one ever take the high dose of Immodium that is said to help, the worst part  right now is my stomach occasionally feels bad, but thanks to the Immodium theres no action there :( Dang It. I also forgot to mention when I started I bought Protein mix and have been drinking 2 a day, as well as the B6, now D3, epsom salt n ibuprofen. Hot soaks are Great especially with the Epsom still, not only do they provide relief n sleep but last night I felt important. Putting myself first, even for a long soak n then hot shower was invigorating. This drug was like an abusive spouse, I hated who I seen in the mirror, I hated myself and felt I deserved nothing. Couldn't tell you the last time I put myself first and took a time out for me. It feels Awesome.
I keep looking for answers as to if I should still expect anything to creep up on me, or am I in the clear with the physical symptoms?(of course not the fatigue)

[VICourageous]

Hi! You sound so sweet..You just hang in here with us..You can vent or share your experiences anytime..We can walk with you in every way possible..Weather it be to help with detox or being around people that are using..Just get the info and maybe the fiance will understand this too and will not want to mess up the brain Chems anymore!!! Do you think that he would go to a AA/NA with you??It does not matter they both are good..I have not had a drink in about 8 years but I just substituted my Buzz in another way. I find that the AA have alot of caring people and the spirit just flys around the room..Since he is still on the pills he does not have to feel guilty but he sure can begin to see the light about this disease..
So you just hang tight and keep up the fight..Let us know what is going on..OK..
Bless

[Celisha]

:) Thank you. Your words make me feel that much stronger. I am gonna win this battle. :)

[Celisha]

Thank you on the for your support. And for the info, I am worried about my relationship with my fiance also, and I am looking into the information you suggested. Also I went out and bought D-3 last night. The support on here is unbelievable and to be honest is the only support I am getting, but that's okay. Thanks again for your words of encouragement, advice and just simply the time you took to think about me. It's awesome. :)

[nursegirl6572]

You are a very smart, insightful girl, with an amazing attitude.  That will be SO helpful to you in this battle!

XOXO!

[VICourageous]

Hi Girl..You got some great Info from my Buds above you..I just wanted to add a few more experiences here..After the Baths I would get under a Heating Blanket..It helped with the aches & sleep..I came off of 3 meds at once and Methadone was one..So the bones ached too!! You sound like you are strong and I am proud of you..But I am a little concerned about your other half having the pills around..I would like you to look up all the information regarding "The Disease of Addiction and the Pleasures Pathway" You can order videos too!! I am no spring chic and have been using on & off since I was young..SO This information is keeping me safe today besides my God and Meetings.OH Ya I notice that FourJays did not say anything about the D-3..She turned me onto taking more and it helped a bit with the emotional thing...You just hang tight we will be here if needed..You might have some weakness and sleep issues down the line but it will pass..just let us know..OK

[Celisha]

Yes I amazed to hear so many ppl feel exactly what I feel, and saddened that so many have to suffer the wrath of addiction. Peace to You also. :)

[starshine7]

amen to that! I feel you, been through the same...I'm always amazed at how MANY people suffer from this hell!

Peace to you ~

[Celisha]

Or better yet, I feel like I am winning. This quote inspired me today "LIfe is Way to short too spend another day at war with yourself". And it certainly is!

[Celisha]

Thank you so much for your motivation, and support. I think keeping positive has found my way around a lot of situations, so I figured this one especially needed it. My fiance is a way deeper subject, that like you said I have decided to not focus on during my detox, but after my emotions stabilize and I see how I can handle his use as well as his pressure for me to just take a pill and feel better(which regardless of his temptations, I held Head strong last night) Any more info on after support groups? I don't know much about it, and I am still feeling a little withdrawn socially at the moment, but am hoping with my recovery that will also heal. Thanks again, it means more than I could have imagined to have support, I don't feel alone, and I think that is helping too. : ) It's 12 pm and its been since 6 am yesterday since I have had 5 mg of hydrocodone, I feel like I am doing it!

[nursegirl6572]

I agree with all of the posters, and just wanted to lend my support!!!  You absolutely can and should take the Immodium for the diarrhea that comes with w/ds, but only as per the instructions on the package.  You were trying to take it in large amts to ease w/d in general (which some people do).  I agree 200% that that is a bad idea.  Just take it as it is intended, to help with the scooters.  That's perfectly fine.

You have a GREAT attitude, and since you're on a pretty low dose, you will do very well.  You're smart to be concerned about your fiancee's use.  That WILL put you at a much higher risk for relapse.  You don't have to figure everything out right this minute, but it's an issue that will need addressed in some way down the line.

When you feel better, you must develop and start working an aftercare plan.  Aftercare can be in the form of professional therapy, NA/AA meetings, outpatient recovery groups, etc.  The more you do to work your aftercare, the more successful you will be long term.  You can never do too much, but you CAN not do enough.  From what everyone here says, and it makes sense, GETTING clean is the easy part..staying clean is much harder, and with your fiancee, you have some extra challenges.  That's where aftercare will be so very helpful for you.  The support people will help you explore your options, and how to safeguard your sobriety when someone in your life is still using.  

Very best to you...you're in my prayers.

[EvolverU]

All Blessings to you, girlfriend! Love the attitude. Sounds like you've got very good instincts. Getting out of the house and into the sun (hopefully, you've got some today.) will help with mood, too. Any kind of exercise, even walking at a good clip will help speed detox, rekindle endorphin function and might even help with sleep.

[Celisha]

Thank you for your encouragement. It is much needed. I took only 7 of the Immodium, I was searching for a miracle cure I guess, but quickly realized that the recommended 20 pill dose was outrageous, and thanks for the better insight on the Immodium effects, I have decided to leave them be, as I felt like flushing the toxins was ok,(as long as I can stay home). I am on the water, I feel dried out, so its easy to guzzle it down. And tonight I will be trying Epsom Salt, on my way to drug store yday I thought of it, but hadn't read anyone suggest it, so I didn't think I was right in it detoxing in my case. Thank You again, I feel Positive, and I am loving the feeling, kinda outweighs the negative some.

[EvolverU]

Hey Celisha! You're doing great. Are you saying that you took 20 & then 7 Imodiums on two different days? Please, don't do that you'll back yourself up. They can be very dehydrating at high doses. You need to stay well hydrated. I can't stress the importance of this enough! (2 to 3 litres per day of plain water.) Even if Imodium could help w/ withdrawals, you'd have to kick down the line. You can't take an opiate to kick an opiate. Besides, in my own experience and in my experience with other addicts - (which is considerable.) - Imodium will not mitigate your symptoms at acceptable doses. So, only use it as needed. Follow the directions. You need to flush the toxins from your system. This won't happen without hydration & extra Imodium will counteract that.
Also, you might want to add plain salt or Epsom salts to the hot baths to 'pull' toxins from your body. It also has a slightly sedative effect. So, put those headphones on and take as many baths as needed. Treat yourself well. You deserve it! I think you put your finger on it when you said you suspected that you might just be reaching for pills out of habit. This is understandable but will just slow your healing.
Hold Fast, my friend! We're here.

[Celisha]

Well Day 2, in a way, granted I took .5 mg yesterday morning, suffered alot of muscle aches(tylenol not working) hot baths are awesome especially for the muscle cramps n restless legs, slept all night after soaking. So far as of this morning I have not taken any hydrocodone, although I have this pesty 1/2 here taunting me. Instead I took 1/2 tylenol just to give my body a little of what its missing now or because of my throats desire to swallow a pill. Also took Immodium yesterday, not certain on the claims of banishing withdrawl symptoms, I was afraid it was to good to be true. But I only took 7 yday as opposed to 20 that I seen recommended in a lot of posts. I also started b6 yesterday, of course today too. This is deffintely uncomfortable, but is not as horrible as I anticipated, which makes me afraid that with the 5 mg I took yesterday, and since I was a continuous user for about 15 months that maybe I am not fully withdrawing yet? I actually felt okay when I woke up this morning, it was the strangest feeling, about 1.5 later the neck aches started n feeling a little queasy but thus far thats it this morning. I am ready for this to be behind me for good.

[Celisha]

Yeah I broke down in tears a couple of days ago and just told him everything. I am not the type to cry, so I think he understood I needed this. But no matter how much we discuss stopping, I think in his mind he is still worried about the next high. I think he is willing to be supportive, but I am afraid if he doesn't 100% get on board he could be my demise, or perhaps I have to walk away. More changes that I am scared to death to face.

[WODAgirl]

In my experience, this will be very hard for you. I began having cravings around day 6. Have you talked with your fiancé about your decision? How supportive will he be? Is he willing to quit? Remember, keep your eye on the prize.

[Celisha]

I have already started the emotional rollercoaster this morning, I am very thankful my Google search found this site. It is an incredible feeling, realizing I am not alone, hearing ppl experience what I am, and hearing stories of those who over came it. I am getting my Thomas Recipe together, luckily had B6 on hand, so have taken it. Right now  I have had 5 mg since 6 pm yesterday in which my total daily dose was 25 mg. I am having horrible stomach cramps n what comes with it. Muscle aches around my neck. And sadness. Thus far I am in total control, I hope I can keep level headed.
My fiance is addicted to Oxycontin, and I am hoping that even though he says he feels the way I do that he does. I don't know what to do after I get clean n he still uses, will this rebound me? Anyone have experience with this also?
Thank You all for you thoughtful and extremely helpful input, I have a feeling a lot of my success will come from the support of this group.

[FourJays]

Hi Celisha and welcome.....congrats on your decision to quit the hydrocodone!  You will NEVER regret this!  I can totally understand the fear of the detox and withdrawal; this fear is what stops or delays so many of us from 'just doing it'.  It is not fun, you will probably feel crumby for a few days.  But it is temporary, and these are just symptoms, nothing more.  If you check out the Thomas Recipe (link on the bottom of this page), as well as the Amino Acid Protocol, you will find some suggested remedies that can help quite a bit to ease the physical discomfort of detox.  I found that physical activity - anything, even a short walk, helped a lot.  If possible get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine.  You may not feel like eating much, but you really need to get the nutrition and keep yourself hydrated.  Protein shakes, Ensure, Boost, etc. are great if you are having trouble with appetite.  I found Vitamin Water, "Revive" formula to be a Godsend in that first week.  It has 100% of daily B's and C's as well as potassium and electrolytes - bought it by the case then, and still drink it every day (5 months later).  A lot of this is a mental battle; if you can just stay positive and "keep your eyes on the prize"; a week or so of feeling bad is SO worth what you will get in return for the rest of your life.  You can do this......and know that it only has to be done ONCE!  Keep posting with questions and for support along the way - we are here for you!  Good luck :))