Hydrocodone taper please help again

[acesmom]

This is my third time on herw asking for help in the last few years. Last time was 2 years ago. Well I never finished that taper. So I'm back to ask for more help. I was on 40 mg a day and down to 15 a day. I did this is a few days. Well today I am trying just 10. U feel awful but so far funtioning. I go bck to my job in 20 days  and would love for this to be over by them

[acesmom]

Good morning everyone thanks for your continued support

[4js_nay]

Ok I am on day 3...not by choice as I can't pick up script until later today. I have been in 30mg a day for 7ish years. I guess my question is are these spacey feelings, anxiety and shakiness almost over? If so I won't pick up the pills. I ran out on Saturday and forget to call doc on Thursday cause it takes them at least 48 hrs to get it ready. I just don't want to be a slave to them anymore. My husband had asked me if u was addicted and I said no....I honestly didn't think so until yesterday.  Now I'm freaking out!!!!

[acesmom]

Thank you again everyone. So far today I have take about 8 mg of hydro 10 bc I shaved a little off each half. And will do the same right before  bed.  Tiki what did you taper down to before you stopped and what wand when was your first symptoms after stoping. I'm feeling tired anxious angry and tingling arms. Danny thanks foe your reply

[TikkiTT]

I've quit twice...first time cold turkey and second time, taper.   I never abused my prescription and though I was prescribed 8 a day, I never took that many.
Cold turkey was definitely uncomfortable....anxiety and sleeplessness were the worst.   Plus constant feeling of nausea.    It took about a month to get over the lethargy.    I dreaded quitting the second time, so I did a slow taper.   I didn't start the taper until I got down to 3 pills a day.   (Hydrocodone 10/325).   I dropped half a pill a day and stayed at each level for five days.   The physical symptoms weren't as bad.  I could even sleep.   I still had lethargy following ending the taper and depression and the worst sadness I have ever felt.    I was on vitamins and supplements and I guess they finally kicked in, and I felt fine after about two weeks.   I guess everyone is different, but that is how it was with me.   I went back on them for surgery and PT.   I don't think I would ever take them again.   I know I can quit them again if I have to take them for some reason, but I don't want to go through it again.

[Danny111]

I think the mental stuff is the worst.  If not that then it's definitely the inability to get a decent nights sleep.  The sleep seems to always be the last physical issue to return to normal.  

The worst of the physical wd's are over by the fourth or fifth day and you'll then have a noticeable improvement daily. If you were taking your pills as prescribed you really shouldn't have horrible wd's.  I mean they'll suck either way but you'll definitely be able to deal.

[acesmom]

Danny what was the worst symptom you had to fight thru.  I'm not even doing cold turkey and I am so anxious irritable and arms hurt tingle ans just feel uneasy in my skin

[Danny111]

Hey acesmom,

Yes I could function, although I certainly didn't enjoy it.  I was using large amounts most of the time.  It was always difficult/impossible to sleep for the first few days and hard to force yourself to get up and do much at all and of course fricking depressing.  But I always found that I could actually do more than I thought I could once I got started.

[acesmom]

Thanks danny were you able to function during wd

[Danny111]

I quit cold turkey numerous times I should say until the last.

[Danny111]

I quit cold turkey.  I could never do the tapering.  It took more discipline than I was capable of and I felt like a week or two of strong wd's was better than a couple months or lesser ones.  That being said everyone has a path that works best for them and many people on here have successfully tapered and quit.

One thing I always found was that the fear of the wd's was worse than the real thing.  I guess that's just the drugs/addiction f-ing with your head.  

[acesmom]

Last post was supposed to say a little less today not a little more

[acesmom]

Good morning everyone. Thank you for all your advice and time yout took out of your day to respond. The only answer I have to being different is that I am tired of being a slave to a med I know I don't need. I woke up early this am about 4 but laid in bed till 7. My arms are a little aches and an old car accident injury in my ankle is acting up but I'm ok. Yesterday I took about 13 or 14 mg of hydro hard to exact bc I'm cutting pills. Today I plan to stay around that or just a little more.

[NeverAgain127]

You're right!  How did I miss that...menopause brain again!

[salizander]

Her thread title says hydrocodone.

[NeverAgain127]

Are we talking about oxycodone?  Because if so, you and I could be the same person.

I took 40 mgs a day, prescribed, always prescribed.   I was on them for over 8 years.     I'd run short sometimes; either i took an extra one, or the pharmacy gave me less than they should, and I start to get early w/ds...mostly aches and pains in my back and legs, and my eyes would tear up constantly.

I wanted to stop; one day I just said "no more." I started to wean down...30 a day, (for 3 days) then 20, then 15, then 10.   I was miserable.   Felt like crap and said "okay, enough."  I flushed the final few and just jumped.

Don't be afraid of the withdrawals...you are giving them too much power over you.   Truth be told, at your level of use, withdrawals are going to feel like a bad stomach flu for 2 weeks.   You have kids...you've probably caught colds and viruses from them before.  

Think of this the same way, except when you get the flu, there is really NO purpose to it...you have to just suck it up and wait it out until some nasty pathogen gets beaten up by your immune system.    This time its a totally different story...it's "pain with a purpose."     Think of each day of discomfort as YOU giving birth to a new self.    

Anything really good, really valuable and lasting, is not going to come easy.  Doesn't matter if it's a job you want, a degree you're going after, or getting clean from drugs.   The climb is going to take patience, and a willingness to feel crappy...but only for a while.  

When we take that pill, we forget...it will wear off.   We'll want another.  

You only have to go through this ONE more time, and then never again..you're done, finished, over!    Dig deep and find that love and respect for yourself that will give you the strength to do this.  

Every day is a milestone.   I say...dump all the pills, and tell you're doctor not to prescribe any more to you.   Then come on here and start counting days with us.    You're going to have to 'be okay with not being okay' for a while.   10 days and you'll be over the absolute worst of it.

You're not a coward...look at your kids.   You'd go through 10 months of misery to give them a better mom...10 days is nothing, girl!   You can do this...I can just FEEL it.

Whatever you decide, keep coming on here and tell us how you are feeling.  No judgments.  

Hugs,
-Robin

[acesmom]

I'm about to go to my son's football practice. I'm fighting not to take my last dose before I go and save it for when I go to bed. Need some encouragement please

[EvolverU]

So..what I'm really asking you is what would you like to be different in your life? If you take it as prescribed & the only thing that bothers you is detox itself -- what is it that's driving you over & over to try to stop?

It's got to be a powerful drive. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to detox (physical discomfort & emotional rawness) & whatever it takes to change your life in order to stay clean.

Fear is natural. Most have it before they detox. Those crazy emotions you had won't last forever.

Have you thought about the reasons you want to do this & how to make it different this time so it'll work?

[acesmom]

How did ypu all do it

[acesmom]

I don't like knowing I'd I don't take this pill I am going to be sick. I don't take it to get high but the overbearing sick feelings of trying to stop make it so hard. Maybe inam.just a coward. I was hoping to hear if if I did slow gradual taper I could do this fairly easy

[acesmom]

I think bc I know I can manage the pain without it. I am definitely physically dependant in it. And I guess emotional maybe bc of the crazy  emotions I get when I try to stop

[EvolverU]

So, do you feel that you're an addict? I mean..not just physically dependent but psychologically/emotionally? What is it that has been driving you to stop? Can you describe it?

[acesmom]

And clean time was about 3 months rhe first  time second time I never completed the taper got down to less than 1 pill a day

[acesmom]

I think it was the actual wd itself. I'm scared  to death of it. I have children ans not being able to function scares me to death. They don't deserve that. I have never taken more than myself script and don't run out it is just getting thru the wd

[EvolverU]

So, did you have any clean time in between your attempts? I know you mentioned in another thread that your mood during w/d's caused issues between you & your husband. Is he supporting you this time? Is he prepared to go through this with you? It's okay to be like that -- detox is an emotional roller-coaster--almost everyone goes through that ride. It's healing & the beginning of living life on life's terms & truly feeling your own emotions. Don't fear it. Try to see it as an initiation into the life you crave -- as the birth pangs of the new you!

What do you think it was that caused you to use again? If you want this to work, it's important to look @ this & figure it out. It's also key that you shift gears 'cause if we do the same thing over & over we will end up in the same place. To believe otherwise is magical thinking, right? So, I guess it's time to look @ what made your last couple of attempts flawed & how you can plug up those holes. You can absolutely do this! Let's make this one stick! :)