I AM VERY SCARED AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

My Story........
I am a Heroin addict.
About two months ago I stumbled across this website and wanted to try the Thomas recipe, but couldn't find any pills of any sort besides my clonidine and a few seroquel.  So with the help of some alcohol and marijuana, I tried to detox myself.  It didn't work.  About a week into it, I caved and went to score some more Heroin.  I had given up.  A week or two later, I called Aldie Counseling in Doylestown, PA, and put in an application for the methadone program as it was the only thing that got me clean last time around.  I went in for an interview and they informed me that I had an outstanding bill from 2003 that I had to pay before I could move further ahead.  A week later, I came up with the money.  It took them another week to give me an assessment, and another until I would be able to get my first dose.  So right after my assessment, I went down to the city to score one last time to last me until I could get dosed.  That was Friday March 27th.  After I had made my purchase of 3 bundles, I was on my way home when two state troopers pulled up behind me, dragged me out of my vehicle, searched me found one bundle on me and two in the center console, my works was on the passenger seat in a glasses case.  I was about to fix up when they pulled me over.  They left the works in my truck and gave me the option of leaving my truck there for me to pick it up when I got out or to impound my vehicle.  I told them to leave it there.  They said that an undercover had seen the buy.  That night, I went through the worst withdrawel in jail.   The next day my parents bailed me out for $200.  I haven't touched Heroin since.  When I got home I called my doctor and told him the story and he gave me some vicodins to tide me over until I got to a blocking dose.  I have been doing fine on the methadone, but now I am really scared of going to jail.  I have a few non drug related misdemeanors as a minor in Bucks County and I was arrested in Philadelphia.  I don't really have money for a lawyer so I saw the public defender and they said that I am being charged with possesion of 1.17 grams of heroin, but that it could change to possession with intent to deliver at the hearing, because of the amount, which would change it to a felony.  I am only an addict and I have never sold a bag to anyone.  I just want to continue my treatment and get clean.  They said that they might offer me an ARD or a section 17 because I am a first time offender.  I am scared and don't know what to do, I won't survive in prison.

[Melody_Cracker]

Dose of what?You say that you could'nt wait to get to the methadone clinic to get help and that it'd be a week for your first dose...What is it? I can't believe you have talked to your doctor about this and you have not been prescribed Suboxon (It works wonders!!) Don't be so scared about going to jail/prison, usually on first offences, your ordered to go to rehab. You state that you could not afford a good lawyer so you are having to go through a public offender...I had to have quite a few of them, not all of them are so bad, so don't lose hope thinking youve got to settle with "not so good". Btw If you DO get locked up, be sure to act insane for your "fix" then they HAVE to call in a doctor to give you SOMETHING because it is illigal for them to let you go through cold turkey withdrawls..I know that because Ive been locked up quite a few times and trust me, when it comes to that or suffering, you'll do what you've got to do. Keep me posted, I'd really like to hear back from you.  Melody

[allaboutmary]

Gather all the proof from the clinic that you applied to for help and make sure the judge sees it.  I'm gonna bet you will get probation if you can show you were looking for help and just about to start a program.