I Need Help!

[madisonjssmom]

I need advice...I had a minor surgery 2 months ago and was taking hydrocodone and I did not stop when I needed to stop. I have now been taking about 10 to 13 hydrocodone a day 10mg. My question is that I have 10 pills left is it possible to do a  taper with only 10 pills? I tried to not take any today and the withdrawls kicked in really bad.

[madisonjssmom]

Yes briancharge that is RLS and it's awful I have not had it  in a very long time though. They say hot baths help I've also heard of wrapping the legs in a heating pad. I'm here for you if you need anything

[brainchange]

lu--very helpful posts. Thanks. madisonmom hope you are doing well. I'm right there with ya.
I hear of restless leg syn. I have been like thrashing around in middle of night--kicking really. just all tight and terrible. Can't explain it. Is THAT restless legs? sorry for being ignorant about all this. just always thought I was "fine' and "functional" and didn't pay attention. I am not fine and the functioning is an illusion. Functioning at work and fact that no one knows I'm messing with stuff does not mean functioning to my fullest self.

[lulu747]

Fear of withdrawals is always worse than the withdrawals themselves.  This is just your addict brain trying to keep you using.  Think of it this way- you are going to have to go through it at some point- why not do it now when your use is low?  It will only get worse.  And as much as it Suc*s- the ONLY way OUT is THROUGH.
xo
Lu

[madisonjssmom]

Thank you Lu..I know my use was not long  but  I'm still scared of the withdrawls . Congratulations on your success

[lulu747]

Your use has not been very long this time, so your withdrawals should not be as bad as the last time.  Personally, I detoxed the first time in 2008 and it was awful.  But I didn't do any research- I just wanted off the pills as I was scared I was becoming addicted and not just dependent.  Well, I didn't have a plan on how to manage my pain and I was facing another surgery, so after only 6 months I was back on the pills and there I remained for 3 more years, 2 more surgeries, and my tolerance going up and up and up.  I found myself after my last surgery in 2010 on 75 mcg of Fentanyl and 40-60 mg of hydromorphone for break through pain.  I was in an abusive marriage and so even after I was healed from my surgery I stayed on them- not wanting to deal with the feelings and trauma of my marriage and medical situation.  Finally, I left my husband and slowly began the process of tapering down.  It was miserable.  I felt like death every day.  Once I was able to switch to an oral opiate my doc put me on Oxycontin- and exactly like the first time I went Cold Turkey I realized that these pills made me high and I was in a dangerous place.  This time, I set myself up for success by confiding in my doctor and getting her to put me on Clonidine.  This is a BP med commonly used in opiate detox.  My doc and I planned a taper but I could NOT stand it.  I had a migraine head ache every day for months.  So on December 4 2011 I decided to jump off. I was on 100 mg of oxy and 40 mg of hydro. This is a significantly high dose- about double what I was on the first time I went cold turkey in 2008.  I was fortunate to be living at home with my parents and they were amazing.  I gave my dad a list of the supplies I needed from the Thomas Recipe and I hunkered down, ready to get my life back once and for all.  I surrendered to the process and it made it MUCH easier.  Even though my use was higher and longer than my previous attempt, my detox was much smoother.  Part of this was that I had a good plan, the other part of it was that I wanted to be clean and free so bad that I just SURRENDERED.  I posted on this site constantly and received so much help and encouragement and support....It was 7 days of pretty hellish flu like symptoms.  The worst being the RLS and insomnia.  But I felt so much better mentally and emotionally, detox was a rebirth for me and I remember it fondly.  Sounds crazy, I know.
I got very involved in aftercare- I made my recovery my #1 priority and as a result, I transformed my life and myself.
I told myself every day
You are doing this
You are doing this
You are doing this.
And I did.  AND SO CAN YOU.
Believe in yourself and take the leap.  The net will appear and you will never, ever regret giving yourself the gift of life.
Sending support....
Lu

[sodonemom]

You are welcome. I too am very afraid of the WD. That is why I am so against pills because I know first hand what they can do to you. You said you were on pills years ago. Did you have to go through a bad WD? I ask how people how to do it because I have never been successful....yet. I keep trying though and hope this is the time I make it.

Take care and good luck to us all!

[madisonjssmom]

Thank you sodonemom.. I've been off the pills for a few years now and this surgery sucked me back in. I'm not even wanting them now I'm just scared of the withdrawls I know how bad they can be. It's been 18 hours since my last pill and still not feeling anything.

[sodonemom]

Please, please please for your children's or child's sake STOP! This will only spin out of control and before you know it 5 years have gone by and you will have nothing left. Think the withdrawals are tough now? It is nothing compared to what it could turn into.

I don't mean to be harsh. Just do yourself a favour and stay away from pills. Ok?

[madisonjssmom]

Yes when the withdrawls started yesterday they were bad I have not had a pill since 5pm yesterday and I'm not feeling anything yet but I know I will

[dominosarah]

I would put my energy into making sure this doesnt happen again.  The wd's will be what they are.  Just ride them out.  You can and will get thru this.

[kyle505]

Jifmoc is right - stop now. You are already pushing addiction. But I do disagree about one thing...Although your detox won't be as bad as someone who's used for years, it will still be bad. You are craving the pills. You will have to deal with the physical side of withdrawal as well as the mental part, and the mental is much, much harder. BUT - the detox will be over in just a few days. You'll do it. And then learn from this. You've dabbled in addiction. Stay away.
K

[jifmoc]

Hi! In my opinion you don't need to taper and you only have 10 pills left so that won't really help. Most of us do not have the ability to taper anyway. You have only been using for 2 months? You are very lucky. Your withdrawl will not be long or bad at all. That's the good news. But, since you so quickly went up to such a high amount, you really should just go cold turkey and be done w/ this. You really may want to check out some aftercare because of jumping to that amount in only 2 months. Look up the thomas recipe on this forum. You will be fine. Trust me, just rip this bandaid off. You don't want this to get worse!