I Slipped.

The following is a post I responded to, but it's a good topic, too:

I stopped using exactly 1 month and 3 days ago. It was wonderful. I was in extreme discomfort, because I really need some type of pane pill. But I got off the the Vicodin, and was taking muscle relaxants which was ok. Not great but doable. Then Wednesday, I got 5 Norco's from my daughter. Did 4 that night and had 1 Thursday. That day at work was hell - I was going through full . blown w/d. So, last night, I went and found me 15 Norco's. Did em' almost all, too. I have 3 left. Can't sleep because the drug makes me speed. And here I am again, going through w/d's!!! It doesn't get easier, it just gets harder. and I am suprised that I am going through this at all, I only did it for a few days. I guess that is the nature of our addiction. So, let's hang out together today. We can do this, right?

Thankfully I have muscle relaxants, and lot's of vitamin/supplements. This was helpful last time. I hate that I am going through this again. I am so ashamed, It seems like I will never be able to be fully over this addiction. I was doing so good, too.

[IBKleen]

I don't get this..is this someone else's post that you are re-posting?

[GoingToMakeIt]

I'm lost too.

[shelly405]

It's my post, I responded to someone else's post with this. It is just what I wanted to post, so I cut and pasted. Hope you dont mind. This really happened to me this week.
Shelly

[IBKleen]

Now I understand....I got so confused.

Anyway, WOW!

I am glad you are on the right track again. Please be careful with the muscle relaxants, ok?

Keep posting hun!!! We are all here for you....

[troubleinohio]

shelly Im sorry you relapsed. it seems to be happening to alot of us here lately. It must be the holidays. HOpefully after they are done, all of us relapsers can get clean and stay clean this time. wishing you the best.

[addictedme]

After all the holidays are over there will be more holidays,,we need to make the holidays a reason to be clean, not an excuse to use,,gl

[GoingToMakeIt]

Oh I see. I am sorry you gave in. The war isn't over. You have the strength to pull this one off. I'm pulling for you!

Merry Christmas and a very clean New Years!

[shelly405]

Thanks for the support, which I knew I would get here. I am going to stay close to the computer today. I really need you guys right now.
I hurt...
Shelly

[johnnykelly]

Sorry to hear about the usage, The mind is for the most part in my opinion the reason we use again after even the most horrendous accidents,domestic violence and just the f-IT philosopy. The brain has the defence mechanism of rationalizing,(IT will be Different this Time) It usually is,its the same or worse,we try to recapture the glory days when a few pills gave us artificial stimulation,unfortionately we crossed over and cannot go back,even though we try,try again.that the insanity of addiction,doing the same thing and expecting a different result.I am just like you been there done that. All the best,John

[catrunning]

That could have been me.     I've CT'd so many times that I've lost count, only to relapse.   For me, the most recent time, I was clean for almost a week, then got a case of severe bronchitis and naturally, the good doctor precribed vicodin-based cough syrup for me because my cough was literally tearing me up.

To be honest, this was one of my few "legitimate" reasons for getting a prescription.   That fact, in and of itself, scared me enough into tying to get clean for Christmas.    So, instead of using the holidays as an excuse to do more (my m.o. in the past), I'm using it as a gift to get straight.   Today is day 7 ct for me.    As everyone has closed shop for the holidays, this guarantees that I'll be clean through Christmas!     (It hasn't been fun, but I think I've turned the corner).

A thank-you to all you posters.   Lurkers like me really  do take strength from those who are brave enought to post their own struggles.

[Becca911]

Sorry to here about it, but don't give up. I hope to make it myself, so we all have to hang in there together. I am new at this tapering thing maybe that would help right now, but I am no expert.
Don't be ashamed, it happens. I am finding out we are all human and make mistakes we just need to learn from our mistakes.
And I have found out I am not alone and that really, really help me.
Hang in there, Becca

[shelly405]

Hi Gang,

Today is my first day sober - Agagin. I took my last 3 pills last night. I just couldn't handle knowing they were in the house, and you know I can't throw away drugs.When I woke up I took B-COmplex, MSM and Ester-C. Then a little later Red MArine algae, Omega-3's and Bee Caps. I don't feel all that bed right now, just want some more and a nap. I took my kid to a skatepark until 5PM - It's 3 now. I am going to get in bed and cry a little. Thanks everyone for your help and encouragement.
Shelly