I am Afraid

[SOSNOW]

I have been drinking for some time.  Most of my family members drink. My parents did.  I do not want this for my kids.  I was under the impression that I could just slow down and not accept the label "alcoholic" or be a weekend drinker.  I am beginning to believe that my way is not working.  I thought I could just slow down.  I am afraid that i am going to hurt myself physically if I don't get help. I guess my first of many questions is what to do first?

[justlikeyou]

first you must realise that 'living sobre' can be really good :)

nothing to be afraid of.

[charlenekt]

You're smart to realize the danger you're headed for, this soon. I denied that I had a problem for years, and drank, hiding it (or so I thought) from my kids and family. I ended up losing a lot (licenses, car, job, etc.) I went to AA but to be honest, I didn't apply myself to it 100%. It didn't work for me, but I'm sure that's why. I have many friends who have been sober for years because of AA. For me, it took a serious DUI to get me to go to a Bible-based "boot camp" type rehab. That did it for me. Not the program itself, but completely surrendering my life and everything about it to the Lord. After all, He created me. Who else but He knows how I should live my life. And He walks me through every single day when I ask Him to. I never thought I'd quit drinking. Every day I had the attitude of "just one won't hurt". Every day. No matter what. No one could convince me that I wouldn't stop at one. Even though I never stopped at one. Each day I thought it would be different this time. Our minds are certainly baffling things!
I'm not suggesting religion or church. I'm suggesting surrendering to your creator. Some non-denominational churches have substance abuse support groups. I'd seek one out if I were you. Let me know how you're doing, ok?
kt

[tztlady]

Have you considered going back toAA and really applying yourself?  We all have to be "ready" for the 12-step programs to work.  That means not only going to a meeting but speaking up and saying who you are and why you are there (if not at group level then to someone at the meeting).  

It really is a program of change.  It is a life program and even though I am not at meetings anymore I still rely on the tools that were given me in NA on a daily basis.    Go there and really get "in" to it.   If it doesn't happen for you at the first meeting you attend then try another.  
Don't worry if you feel uncomfortable, that is normal.  Addict or not, many of us feel uncomfortable going to a place full of strangers for the first time.

Keep posting.  There is an unbelievable life out there that doesnt include drugs or alcohol.  I wish you all the best and am here if you need to talk (as are many of our very knowledgeable and compassionate members)
tzt

[beachtowel]

Welcome.....

You really should go into an alcohol detox.....

It is not safe for long time heavy drinkers to go cold turkey...siesures are very possible.......

[fishmeal]

Surrender is first.  I agree.  We have to.  We have to admit defeat. Your initial question, "I am Afraid" is well said and a good start.  I do now fear my drinking where as i did not before and really got into a lot of trouble because of that.  I would suggest looking up and AA meeting near you.  If it is your first meeting, Please be aware that they are, in many ways different.  Each meeting has it's own "character" and if you are dismayed by one please try a different one.  

I believe in Jesus Christ so I go to a Christian AA meeting.  I have tried not going to meetings and just going to church but got to drinking again and again so something had to change....

Give it a shot?  Nothing to loose but a little time and like they say in the meetings, "We can always refund your misery."

It's not all that dreary as I might be making it sound....AA people are a fun and lively bunch and you will be surprised at how welcome you are... many times it has been said, "Newcomers are the most important person in the room."  Becuase we keep what we have by giving it away.