Aa
I am Broken.....
and I can't seem to fix myself. I am loosing the battle these last few days. I am supposed to be tapering but that has gone out the window. This breathing issue I have, and the anxiety it has created are defeating me. Kicking my *** in fact. Usually I have a pretty positive attitude but right now I am at rock bottom. And all my Dr can do is write scripts for anti-anxiety meds and offer encouragement.
I try to do the breathing exercises and it works to a point but then when my mind is not occupied this issue pushes it's way right back to the front of the line. I can't sleep, I can't eat but once a day and I don't even taste it. I struggle with this and struggle and honestly I am at the end of my rope.
I have been perusing the web for answers and have come to the conclusion that this is not even a rare issue. I cannot understand why the medical community hasn't put more into solving this insidious condition. But apparently there is more $$ for the big phamra in peddling benzos than solving the problem.
Fortunately for me I am too much off a coward to even consider really laying down on the freeway....even if I do joke about it from time to time. But right now it would not bother me in the least if it all just ended. I am actually terrified of living. There just doesn't seem to be an end. No light at the end of the tunnel. Being friday nite, I briefly considered going to the bar and drinking till I passed out. But I can't even imagine dealing with this AND being hung over. Besides I haven't drank in 2 years and even the thought makes me nauseous.
Sorry to vent but after 2 hrs of sleep last nite and a day of struggling with this....I had to let it out. know there are people out there going thru alot of suffering with the wds right now. I really wish I was one of them. I thought this was going to be....well not easy, but doable. Now I just don't know.
Anyway, peace to everyone. If you happen to be the prayin type....throw one in there for me would ya.
-Jimi
I try to do the breathing exercises and it works to a point but then when my mind is not occupied this issue pushes it's way right back to the front of the line. I can't sleep, I can't eat but once a day and I don't even taste it. I struggle with this and struggle and honestly I am at the end of my rope.
I have been perusing the web for answers and have come to the conclusion that this is not even a rare issue. I cannot understand why the medical community hasn't put more into solving this insidious condition. But apparently there is more $$ for the big phamra in peddling benzos than solving the problem.
Fortunately for me I am too much off a coward to even consider really laying down on the freeway....even if I do joke about it from time to time. But right now it would not bother me in the least if it all just ended. I am actually terrified of living. There just doesn't seem to be an end. No light at the end of the tunnel. Being friday nite, I briefly considered going to the bar and drinking till I passed out. But I can't even imagine dealing with this AND being hung over. Besides I haven't drank in 2 years and even the thought makes me nauseous.
Sorry to vent but after 2 hrs of sleep last nite and a day of struggling with this....I had to let it out. know there are people out there going thru alot of suffering with the wds right now. I really wish I was one of them. I thought this was going to be....well not easy, but doable. Now I just don't know.
Anyway, peace to everyone. If you happen to be the prayin type....throw one in there for me would ya.
-Jimi
Well I am cheating and using the gum lol !!
Right you are....I was addicted to Afrin once. My doc had no immediate relief. Nasonex....which takes weeks to begin to work. He was very smart though and he had a great idea. One nostril at a time he said. Continue to use the Afrin in one nostril while healing the other with time and saline. Worked great. Took about 10 days but I got my nose clear and refuse to touch the stuff since. I am considering beginning Nasonex now. I have a bottle that is still good per the date.
YOu tack care too! peace
Right you are....I was addicted to Afrin once. My doc had no immediate relief. Nasonex....which takes weeks to begin to work. He was very smart though and he had a great idea. One nostril at a time he said. Continue to use the Afrin in one nostril while healing the other with time and saline. Worked great. Took about 10 days but I got my nose clear and refuse to touch the stuff since. I am considering beginning Nasonex now. I have a bottle that is still good per the date.
YOu tack care too! peace
Oh it's so good to see you! You quit smoking? Just like that? Wow! Just wow!
The stuffy nose. I wish I knew a great remedy!
I'm using 12 hour nasal spray, but only once a day, and skipping days if I can. That stuff is so very addicting!
Kinda stinks when nasal spray is addicting. Personally it's the only thing that works for me. But my BFF is on a 10 year bottle every few days habit of regular nasal spray! It too turns on you!
Seriously, I have trouble nose breathing too. During panic attacks, I breath through pursed lips, in order not to hyperventilate.
Take care u!!! :)
The stuffy nose. I wish I knew a great remedy!
I'm using 12 hour nasal spray, but only once a day, and skipping days if I can. That stuff is so very addicting!
Kinda stinks when nasal spray is addicting. Personally it's the only thing that works for me. But my BFF is on a 10 year bottle every few days habit of regular nasal spray! It too turns on you!
Seriously, I have trouble nose breathing too. During panic attacks, I breath through pursed lips, in order not to hyperventilate.
Take care u!!! :)
Hey man....yeah there is still some fight in this 'ol dog. How you hangin in there? Hope all is well.
Salaam alaikum
Salaam alaikum
Barb thanks for the prayers.
I do have mild copd, which is why I quit smoking the other day. I realized that was just self defeating. But my Spirography (Spelling)? was good and all other tests seem ok.
I just have to realize the fight is NOT to be able to get that deep sigh....but to NOT need it. This is where I have erred on this thing. But working hard on the diaphragm breathing also nose breathing. Which I've heard is important.
Knocked down half a 15.......gonna try to knock off another 7.5 in a few days. My biggest fear is my nose getting stuffed up. But I am really trying to get in the mind set to CT off 40-45 mg within 2 week. I think that will be doable. Got any suggests on stuffy nose lol? I hope quitting the smoking helps.
Thanks for all the help and peace -Jimi
I do have mild copd, which is why I quit smoking the other day. I realized that was just self defeating. But my Spirography (Spelling)? was good and all other tests seem ok.
I just have to realize the fight is NOT to be able to get that deep sigh....but to NOT need it. This is where I have erred on this thing. But working hard on the diaphragm breathing also nose breathing. Which I've heard is important.
Knocked down half a 15.......gonna try to knock off another 7.5 in a few days. My biggest fear is my nose getting stuffed up. But I am really trying to get in the mind set to CT off 40-45 mg within 2 week. I think that will be doable. Got any suggests on stuffy nose lol? I hope quitting the smoking helps.
Thanks for all the help and peace -Jimi
Hey Jimi how's it going? Glad ur feeling better n calm def gets us far. Im happy to hear u still got sum fighting in you!!
Thank's for the support guys. Really appreciate it. I just need to vent a little. Calmed down last nite and actually slept good. Today has been a much better day so far. It's all about keeping calm. I just need to get it into my head that to solve this breathing issue doesn't mean being where I can get that deep breathe when ever I want it. that isn't even natural or healthy. It means not having to get it. That is the fight I face.
Gonna drop a few mg on the oxy tonite. try to get back on track with a taper.
DEMONTHADONE- Thanks for the prayers bro, I appreciate that.
Gnarly - Good to talk to you after all these years. Not sure if you even remembered me. Hope you are well I am using the benzos VERY sparingly man. Don't even wanna go down that road. I actually haven't had one since last Sunday. Been using benadryl mostly.
Peace all
-Jimi
Gonna drop a few mg on the oxy tonite. try to get back on track with a taper.
DEMONTHADONE- Thanks for the prayers bro, I appreciate that.
Gnarly - Good to talk to you after all these years. Not sure if you even remembered me. Hope you are well I am using the benzos VERY sparingly man. Don't even wanna go down that road. I actually haven't had one since last Sunday. Been using benadryl mostly.
Peace all
-Jimi
Hey Jimi so sorry to here your anxiety problem I really feel your pain im bi/polar and have to tuff out the anxzity...after 950 days clean I relapse on clonpine so watch those benzos they only work for a short wile and the detox is h ell to pay I twitched and dident sleep for7 or 8 weeks im not kidding it was brutal look up breathing tecnecs and try one till you find one that works for you it makes all the diference for me I hope you make it to the other side you been fighting this thing lon enough .....keep posting for support good luck and God bless you can beat this..............Gnarly
Jimmy dont give up bro!! Thats just the meds (demons) messing w/ u. If u need to talk send me a msg. Im here for ya. Stay strong n show that self pity crap ur favorite finger. Ur in my prayers brother!! If u have a bible try reafing luke 10:19 n see the authority u have. Its my f.ave this wk
They just took blood from my arm so apparently this wasn't done. I'll talk with my doc about it.
I still keep thinking I am going to be awake and anxious anyway...so why not jump. I have clonadine and clonazepam. I still can't help thinking that the pain meds are a trigger because of the timing. Could just be in my head.
The only real worry I have is it feel like my body is just going to give out.....a heart attack or something.
You have been a huge help tonite Barb. Thanks for everything. god bless
-Jimi
I still keep thinking I am going to be awake and anxious anyway...so why not jump. I have clonadine and clonazepam. I still can't help thinking that the pain meds are a trigger because of the timing. Could just be in my head.
The only real worry I have is it feel like my body is just going to give out.....a heart attack or something.
You have been a huge help tonite Barb. Thanks for everything. god bless
-Jimi
They are just tired. Remember this isn't life threatening.. It seems it though to the person having it. And the anxiety of having an attack in turn makes the attack worse, if you can't calm your mind and breathing down.
They are still studying this. Right now, they think it's psychological rather than a respiratory disease.
However, having a sleep study is a great idea. An Arterial Blood Gas.. You would know if you had.. The needle goes deep in the wrist or groin. It's only real accurate way to get a co2 and bicarbonate reading. And hurts like ****!!!
Maybe you should address this first. I can only say for me.. I would have to.
Once it's under control.. And it will be!!!! It would be so much easier mentally on you. But I don't want you prolonging pills.. I can't give medical advice on here.. Just go with your head and heart.. You WILL beat both these problems.
Please keep posting. Prayers :)
They are still studying this. Right now, they think it's psychological rather than a respiratory disease.
However, having a sleep study is a great idea. An Arterial Blood Gas.. You would know if you had.. The needle goes deep in the wrist or groin. It's only real accurate way to get a co2 and bicarbonate reading. And hurts like ****!!!
Maybe you should address this first. I can only say for me.. I would have to.
Once it's under control.. And it will be!!!! It would be so much easier mentally on you. But I don't want you prolonging pills.. I can't give medical advice on here.. Just go with your head and heart.. You WILL beat both these problems.
Please keep posting. Prayers :)
Lol I meant to say "Wyoming" is not a bastion of Medical expertise....horse doctors mostly...
Yeah is not exactly a bastion of medical expertise.
Yes Sats normal and they did bloodwork and said it was ok. Not sure exactly it was. Never have had a sleep study.
I also have allergies which has made me by nature a mouth breather. What I can't understand is why I am just fine when I get up in the a.m. IF I have had a good notes sleep. It's late afternoon, evening when it hits. sometimes a long walk will bring a breakthru. Sometimes the breathing exercises will greatly lessen the feeling of needing the big breath...but I can't get it.
The strangest part of all is that when it comes.....a great big sigh, it is totally effortless. Like no problem at all. And then 5 minutes later it can feel like I have a chunk of concrete in my airway. Is that cause by the tightening of the upper chest muscles or just they are tired?
Thanks :)
Yes Sats normal and they did bloodwork and said it was ok. Not sure exactly it was. Never have had a sleep study.
I also have allergies which has made me by nature a mouth breather. What I can't understand is why I am just fine when I get up in the a.m. IF I have had a good notes sleep. It's late afternoon, evening when it hits. sometimes a long walk will bring a breakthru. Sometimes the breathing exercises will greatly lessen the feeling of needing the big breath...but I can't get it.
The strangest part of all is that when it comes.....a great big sigh, it is totally effortless. Like no problem at all. And then 5 minutes later it can feel like I have a chunk of concrete in my airway. Is that cause by the tightening of the upper chest muscles or just they are tired?
Thanks :)
Jimi.. Not sure where you live but your Respiratory Therapists suck! Can't believe they haven't heard of!
Ok.. Yes, normal sigh breaths are 6-10 an hour. But you will get there! I promise! You really have to work with the therapist, learn how to breathe properly.
I promise it can be overcome. You may have an episode every couple years yes, but not everyday! And I know it's scary. I have seen the look on pts faces. Pure panic.
Just remember, your breathing exercises will bring your CO2 back to normal during an attack.
I have personally noted an increases when Stress/anxiety comes in play. Smoking isn't good either. Not preaching, don't know if you do or don't, I do, what a hypocrite I am :)
Have you had a sleep study ( overnight) and arterial blood gases drawn during an attack?
I know you said earlier your Sats were normal.
My heart goes out to you. Anxiety from quitting, along with this would be overwhelming.
Do you have a Dr that you can trust?
Here for you :)
Ok.. Yes, normal sigh breaths are 6-10 an hour. But you will get there! I promise! You really have to work with the therapist, learn how to breathe properly.
I promise it can be overcome. You may have an episode every couple years yes, but not everyday! And I know it's scary. I have seen the look on pts faces. Pure panic.
Just remember, your breathing exercises will bring your CO2 back to normal during an attack.
I have personally noted an increases when Stress/anxiety comes in play. Smoking isn't good either. Not preaching, don't know if you do or don't, I do, what a hypocrite I am :)
Have you had a sleep study ( overnight) and arterial blood gases drawn during an attack?
I know you said earlier your Sats were normal.
My heart goes out to you. Anxiety from quitting, along with this would be overwhelming.
Do you have a Dr that you can trust?
Here for you :)
Thanks all for the kind words. I really needed that.
Barb those are the figures I have been reading. Would you believe that my dr had heard of it (didn't know much about it, but at least he knew it existed) but the Respiratory Specialist had no clue? It is so frustrating because it came out of nowhere. I mean, in the past.....I had had moments. But they passed. It wasn't until I started to dwell on it that it really hit me like a sack of bricks. I have been out of work for two months now.
And what is really frustrating is that there are moments when it seems I am making progress. Then they disappear. And I lose all hope.
The sleep thing drives me mad. It's like if I could just put two and two together every night. Get one last good breath and then go to sleep. But either I am exhausted and can't get that breathe....or I can, but then won't sleep.
But see that's the thing, right? YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED to be sighing 1000 times a day lol....it's not normal and it's not even healthy.
It's like what the hell happened? And why? It just seems so simple on one hand.....and hopeless on the other..Idk
Barb those are the figures I have been reading. Would you believe that my dr had heard of it (didn't know much about it, but at least he knew it existed) but the Respiratory Specialist had no clue? It is so frustrating because it came out of nowhere. I mean, in the past.....I had had moments. But they passed. It wasn't until I started to dwell on it that it really hit me like a sack of bricks. I have been out of work for two months now.
And what is really frustrating is that there are moments when it seems I am making progress. Then they disappear. And I lose all hope.
The sleep thing drives me mad. It's like if I could just put two and two together every night. Get one last good breath and then go to sleep. But either I am exhausted and can't get that breathe....or I can, but then won't sleep.
But see that's the thing, right? YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED to be sighing 1000 times a day lol....it's not normal and it's not even healthy.
It's like what the hell happened? And why? It just seems so simple on one hand.....and hopeless on the other..Idk
I didn't mean to hit post. You have been on my mind.
I hope and pray you feel better.
I hope and pray you feel better.
Jimi--I can sooo identify with all that you have written here. Just all of it. I have gone through these days where I didn't get up most of the day, just couldn't eat anything, felt like crying but hollow in the first place and not I am also too chicken to do away with it all although I have rehearsed it in my mind a thousand times and kept thinking, no I would probably botch that up too. I used to drink alllllllot till the same two years ago too. I've tried weed as a replacement and pain pills cause I have pain issues. Stopped the weed but still address the pain through perscriptions but you know how that is. Yes, I am a believer in prayer and please help me there too. Just two many heavy things have happened to me in my life and continue to happen right now. Oh I wish we were together to hug each other and give each other that most needed hug. Maybe talk at length with someone who has been there done that bought the t shirt. Sometimes I get so lonely and depressed but then I try to think how more blessed I am than the homeless, poor or people that are blind, totally paralized or some horror like that. I'm here for you, I really am. Let me help.
I have worked with people with your problem. It can be put in "remission". I think I learned up to 5-10% off population has it. guess you can figure out my prior job at the hospital. I can't answer which to tackle first.. Just say here for you.
I understand the ANGER about lack of studies. I have an autoimmune disorder so rare, it's not even here on med help. There are only a few specialists for it in the USA, none in my state. And funding for a cure? Forget it. Not enough money for big pharma
I understand the ANGER about lack of studies. I have an autoimmune disorder so rare, it's not even here on med help. There are only a few specialists for it in the USA, none in my state. And funding for a cure? Forget it. Not enough money for big pharma
Hi Jimi.....so sorry you are still dealing with the anxiety....it hit me pretty hard about a month after CT.....for about a week....then it started to ease off and it's better now......i still get it but i can work thru it.....
just wanted to lend my support....i know it's hard but i believe you will get thru it....just hang in there the best you can and know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel....as far as going CT everyone is diff....maybe deal with the anxiety issue first if possible? maybe see a diff doctor and get a diff perspective on things. Hoping the best for you and let us know how you are doing....we are in your corner!
just wanted to lend my support....i know it's hard but i believe you will get thru it....just hang in there the best you can and know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel....as far as going CT everyone is diff....maybe deal with the anxiety issue first if possible? maybe see a diff doctor and get a diff perspective on things. Hoping the best for you and let us know how you are doing....we are in your corner!
Wow actually I got caught up in a wave of my own self pity (pathetic) and forgot my question.....
Should I tackle the breathing/panic issue first? Then CT......or CT and then take on my other issue?
Opinions?
Thanks and god bless
-Jimi
Should I tackle the breathing/panic issue first? Then CT......or CT and then take on my other issue?
Opinions?
Thanks and god bless
-Jimi
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I'm glad to see you today!
I think you're right about quitting. You just have to be ok with knowing you'll have some anxiety ( or a lot) for awhile, but you won't have a heart attack!
As long as you have no serious underlying medical issues.. And apparently you don't!
I'm so happy to see you. Prayed hard for you last night. If you're the praying type, say one for me too please!
Barb -- Roll Tide Roll--