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I am going to detox at home, will I make it????
Hi All,
I am new to this website and I must say that reading all these posts has brought me so much comfort. I have felt so alone in my struggle since no one in my life has a clue as to whats been going on with me for over 10 years. I am the rock in my family, the one EVERYONE turns to so that I can "Fix" everything. Believe it or not, throughout my addiction, I have NEVER not been there for everyone. I guess I would be considered a very high functioning addict. And from what I have been reading, there are so many high functioning addicts out there. Being able to function has of course helped me along in my addiction, since I was never "Found out", but it has also left me feeling totally alone. I have been trying to get off of Norco for almost 2 years but have been unsuccessful. I have decided that this time I HAVE to be successful. I want to be drug free more than I want anything in this world.. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have never openly admitted or said the words "I am a drug addict" but today I do so. Over the past couple of months I have been talking to myself out loud saying things such as "I am a drug addict, I am addicted to pain medication, get your **** together girl, its not normal to take 25 Norco a day, stop killing yourself, you DON'T want to die so stop taking all these pills" Just saying those words out loud has helped me a bit. I have put off coming off the pills, because I don't want to have to go through withdrawals, but now I am making it my number one priority. I deserve so much more than being a drug addict, having to worry about where my next prescription is coming from. I don't have insurance so this addiction has cost me dearly. I am currently on unemployment so having the opportunity to be home during the W/D's is definately going to help. Since my son in law who lives with me is just getting over the real flu, I figure now is a good time so when I get sick, my family will just assume that I picked up the flu from him, but my question to you all is how do I get started. Can anyone give me a specific plan to follow? I would like to wean off rather than go cold turkey because even though I may be down with what appears to be the flu, so much is still expected of me. My brother who was a widow already, passed away and left me custody of his 2 youngest children and my disabled dad also lives with me so I don't get a whole lot of "Me" time. I am SO READY to begin the process of getting my life back but I just don't know how to start. I have about 40 Norco and 80 Ultram available to me but I just don't know how to start this. I usually take (when I have them) 25 Norco a day and no Ultram but if my access to Norco is limited, I take about 6-8 of those a day and then about 4 Ultram. When I don't have any Norco, I take about 8-10 Ultram a day. I haven't gone 24 hours without at least one of those medications in almost 10 years. A couple of years ago I had myself down to 6 Ultram a day, but I don't remember how I got there. Could one of you amazingly strong people give me a little guidance? I am scared out of my mind, but I am determined to get my life back from a bottle of pills. I am only 40 years old so if I beat this addiction now, I have my whole life ahead of me. Thank you so very much for listening and posting, I have been reading this board for 2 days now and I think all your messages is what has given me the last push I needed to get this ball rolling.. I am so sorry for this long post, I have so much to say since this is my first time EVER talking about my addiction to pain killers......
I am new to this website and I must say that reading all these posts has brought me so much comfort. I have felt so alone in my struggle since no one in my life has a clue as to whats been going on with me for over 10 years. I am the rock in my family, the one EVERYONE turns to so that I can "Fix" everything. Believe it or not, throughout my addiction, I have NEVER not been there for everyone. I guess I would be considered a very high functioning addict. And from what I have been reading, there are so many high functioning addicts out there. Being able to function has of course helped me along in my addiction, since I was never "Found out", but it has also left me feeling totally alone. I have been trying to get off of Norco for almost 2 years but have been unsuccessful. I have decided that this time I HAVE to be successful. I want to be drug free more than I want anything in this world.. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have never openly admitted or said the words "I am a drug addict" but today I do so. Over the past couple of months I have been talking to myself out loud saying things such as "I am a drug addict, I am addicted to pain medication, get your **** together girl, its not normal to take 25 Norco a day, stop killing yourself, you DON'T want to die so stop taking all these pills" Just saying those words out loud has helped me a bit. I have put off coming off the pills, because I don't want to have to go through withdrawals, but now I am making it my number one priority. I deserve so much more than being a drug addict, having to worry about where my next prescription is coming from. I don't have insurance so this addiction has cost me dearly. I am currently on unemployment so having the opportunity to be home during the W/D's is definately going to help. Since my son in law who lives with me is just getting over the real flu, I figure now is a good time so when I get sick, my family will just assume that I picked up the flu from him, but my question to you all is how do I get started. Can anyone give me a specific plan to follow? I would like to wean off rather than go cold turkey because even though I may be down with what appears to be the flu, so much is still expected of me. My brother who was a widow already, passed away and left me custody of his 2 youngest children and my disabled dad also lives with me so I don't get a whole lot of "Me" time. I am SO READY to begin the process of getting my life back but I just don't know how to start. I have about 40 Norco and 80 Ultram available to me but I just don't know how to start this. I usually take (when I have them) 25 Norco a day and no Ultram but if my access to Norco is limited, I take about 6-8 of those a day and then about 4 Ultram. When I don't have any Norco, I take about 8-10 Ultram a day. I haven't gone 24 hours without at least one of those medications in almost 10 years. A couple of years ago I had myself down to 6 Ultram a day, but I don't remember how I got there. Could one of you amazingly strong people give me a little guidance? I am scared out of my mind, but I am determined to get my life back from a bottle of pills. I am only 40 years old so if I beat this addiction now, I have my whole life ahead of me. Thank you so very much for listening and posting, I have been reading this board for 2 days now and I think all your messages is what has given me the last push I needed to get this ball rolling.. I am so sorry for this long post, I have so much to say since this is my first time EVER talking about my addiction to pain killers......
just thin kbabes how your family would feel without you, they take advantage because you allow it, take time out for you, make yourself better then you will be happier to help, i understand i am the same as you, i let people use me, feel down take drugs, but they dont understand, its hard work but you must put you first please
Thanks for the kudos. I know about the run over by a dump truck feeling as I have been sooooooooooooo close to being off them before.. I too have a habit that is at least 10 years old.. I have come sooo close to being off them but never quite made it.. I feel quite a bit of hope this time around as I have NEVER flushed my best friends down the toilet.. LOL....
Congrats on deciding to get clean, and for flushing the rest of the Norco :) I really think it was for the best. I did the taper thing with my DOC, for weeks before finally stopping. I felt horrible during the taper, and then STILL had full blown withdrawal once I stopped anyway. I used for over 10 years, so that was probably a factor to my long, hard detox. You are going to feel like you died, and then someone keeps running over your body with a dump truck. However, many of us here have done it...and I never read one post of regret for coming out the other side clean. It's so worth it. Keep focusing on that, your body is getting clean..that will give you the strength to hang on tight for the ride. Keep posting, and you are in our thoughts.
I JUST FLUSHED ALL THE NORCO DOWN THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for guiding me to the health section, I still am very new to this site, I get lost easy here. I am getting w/d, but I am hoping that my new blood pressure medicine helps keep my pressure at a safe level. My high blood pressure and my tachacardia are my biggest concern. The more I talk to people the more I see that the best way to do this is to just flush what pills I do have left in the toilet tonight and cold turkey it tomorrow. Worst case would be that my pressure gets too high, I go see my Doc and level with him. I hope it doesn't come to that but if it does, so be it.. Today I cut my dose by 80% and am feeling very very crappy. I know tomorrow is going to be much worse. I am taking the Immodium as directed, but it doesn't seem to be working, any tips?? I wish there was a way to speed up time!!!!!! =(
Sorry posted the above while driving and using my blackberry its barely understandable but that is why
Confrats on day 3 but you are to early into this to write your self off as cured, I'm sorry but I made that same mistake when I was feeling better and it caused me to relapse. I find it weird that you say you are not having any WD symptoms what were u taking how much and how long, I am catholic and have faith abd rey to oraty a lot but u keep slipping up abd promise god or my dead dad that I will stop yet I still do it I just wish god was so almight that he would have never allowesd me to do this to myself :( also becarefukk with nyquil. U will soon get hooked on taking it every night to sleep abd it is full of acetophen spelling?, but it is toxic to ur liver. If you really want to Stop u will go cold turkey
Yes go to the top right of the page and you will see HEALTH PAGE click that and it will bring it up. I will have to pull my stationary bike out of the basement, good idea thanks.
I too am praying for you Mark. I keep telling myself that I can do this... This site is unbelievable, there are so many people here to offer advice. IBKleen was there for me in moments after my first post.. I have been looking for the "Thomas Recipie" that I have seen people talking about but can't seem to find it, do you or anyone else know what it is? I have also heart that physical activity will go a long way in helping the withdrawal symptoms so I spent 20 minutes riding my stationary bike. I am willing to try anything and everything because I WILL NOT spend the rest of my life chained to a bottle of pills. Good luck to you Mark and please keep in touch as it sounds as though we are starting our new lives together..
I just want you to know I am getting ready to fight the same fight you are beginning to fight. Today is my first day of the rest of my life. I do not know how much advise I can give at this moment, but just know you DO NOT stand alone in this fight. My prayers for your recovery are being sent.
Wow, you are all so supportive, it is so wonderful to know that so many of you care and are willing to share your stories. I have been to so many seminars on the fundamental of addiction because 2 of my family members have suffered the same fate. You wouldn't believe if it I told you how many counseling sessions I sat through for those family memebers because everyone else had written them off. I don't think I will ever understand why we put ourselves in this situation. I know a lot of people recommend going cold turkey but for me it is going to be a weaning. With my high blood pressure, I need to be extremely cautious. I also have a rapid/irregular heartbeat so I am going to take my blood pressure/pulse more often than I already do. Thank God my doc just switched me from a calcium channel blocker to a beta blocker because FINALLY after all these years my blood pressure and heartrate have come down to a normal range. That too will help with the W/D's. I had always worried about my pressure/pulse, now that is one thing I don't have to be so worried about. Today has started off good and I have a lot to do to keep my busy, thank goodness its air conditioner season as I already started sweating!!
oh and the only thing ive taken the past couple of nights is nyquil... i dont even really think that i need it but since i had a horrible experience last time with the w/d and insomnia i figured it would help me through the night the first week :o)
i joined in feb and was desperate for help...deep down inside i didint want to let it go and i know thats why i relapsed. You sound like you really want to be sober :o) I know God will help you get through this and I will be praying for you :o)
Hello. Im so happy to hear that you have finally made the decision to stop!
I am on my third day (10-15 vics a day) i have tried so many times and the one thing that scared me so much was the withdrawl symptoms and how i would be able to function without them. Im 25 and started taking them when i was 18, off and on for a few years up until about 3 yrs ago i found myself literally not being able to function without them. To make a long story short i just wanna tell you that i am living testimony that with GOD it IS POSSIBLE. I logged on 1 week ago and tried to find a testimony of someone that had gone through the withdrawls with just prayer... since i found nothing i then promised God that if he would help me go through the withdrawls with no pain, insomnia or cravings i would post and try and help others going through the same problem. Ive always been a believer but never really felt like God was gonna take my addiction away... i guess it was really because i didint want to let it go. Like ive read on this site you have to really want to give it up, God will see your heart and i promise he will help!!! im on day 3 with no withdrawl symptoms!!! remember the only way out is through!!! pray to God with all your heart...all he has to see is your desire!!! you have nothing to loose!!! im sooo happy that im finally DONE with that disgusting habit and am proud to say I did it! there is light at the end of the tunnel you can do it!!!
I am on my third day (10-15 vics a day) i have tried so many times and the one thing that scared me so much was the withdrawl symptoms and how i would be able to function without them. Im 25 and started taking them when i was 18, off and on for a few years up until about 3 yrs ago i found myself literally not being able to function without them. To make a long story short i just wanna tell you that i am living testimony that with GOD it IS POSSIBLE. I logged on 1 week ago and tried to find a testimony of someone that had gone through the withdrawls with just prayer... since i found nothing i then promised God that if he would help me go through the withdrawls with no pain, insomnia or cravings i would post and try and help others going through the same problem. Ive always been a believer but never really felt like God was gonna take my addiction away... i guess it was really because i didint want to let it go. Like ive read on this site you have to really want to give it up, God will see your heart and i promise he will help!!! im on day 3 with no withdrawl symptoms!!! remember the only way out is through!!! pray to God with all your heart...all he has to see is your desire!!! you have nothing to loose!!! im sooo happy that im finally DONE with that disgusting habit and am proud to say I did it! there is light at the end of the tunnel you can do it!!!
Hi. I guess by now, you at least know, you're not in this alone. The support you will get from this site will be immense. In my opinion, the first thing you should do is get better aquainted with how opiates work. It makes sense to know as much as possible about the enemy. There are some good pages to read in the HealthPages in the top right home page. Next try to use holistic treatments as much as possible. If you google herbs for opiate detox, the first site has a post be "mamapoppy" that I would try. Also google acupuncture for detox, sauna for detox, niacin for detox,hypnosis for detox, yoga ... and anything else you can think of that is a natural treatment. The idea, ultimately is to be drug free, not drug dependent and almost any "detox drug" will just be something else you may eventually have to detox from. I started with hypnotherapy and acupuncture when my now 20 year old son was shooting up as many as 20 80mg Oxy's a day (yes it can get that bad) and when he was physically able, added dry heat sauna's with niacin. Sweating the toxins out, that get trapped and stored in your fat cells will help prevent relapse. If you do this you also sweat out your nutrients, so you need to get very healthy in the diet, vitamin and supplement areas. My son's been clean for 8 month and feels great. This is not only, very safe, it is also an excellent first step toward the very mandatory behavioral modification aftercare-if you don't change your thinking patterns of living without drugs, you will almost certainly end right back here in the end. Best of Luck.
Do not Taper, go cold turkey. Either you want to stop being sick and tired or you dont!
I was on this forum 3-5 months ago I beleive posting my addiction to oxycodone and I made it to like 12 days and got mentally weak and staggered back into horrible cycle.
I know your pain we all do.
I hate myself and my life for relapsing but I am trying to tell myself it is going to be a reminder of how bad I need! and want to get clean!
I am going to tell you the first week is horrible, But each day holds a little glimmer of hope.
Each day will be so much better then the day before actually I take that back I remember day 6 being worse then day 5 but what ever.
What I am trying to get at is if you want to stop you have to just do it!
Tapering is going to prolongue the pain and suffering of WD's Which honestly stink but become a new challenge in all of our lives of soberity.
I got over the physical pain and said oh well I learned my lesson and wont do that again if I just take one on the weekends.
But good news is I bought a plane ticket to my familys lake house cottege in the middle of no were in Rushford Lake , Canadea NY. I will go threw detox up there if I can stop before then July-22.
You are going to have to just bite the bullet and do whats right. I feel bad for slipping but now I want to be clean much more.
I hope you really find peace in soberity. You sound like a good person. For the most part we all are but we get caught up in living these lives we were thrown into but some can do it sober and some cant. I found happiness in pills and then when the hapiness was gone it all turned to p00p.
Get well and for what it is worth I swear on my Grandfather and fathers grave that I will prove to them I can stop taking these drugs and will help all that are going through the same thing as I can!
If you go cold turkey you will thank me later, I promise you tapering is not what you want to do!
I was on this forum 3-5 months ago I beleive posting my addiction to oxycodone and I made it to like 12 days and got mentally weak and staggered back into horrible cycle.
I know your pain we all do.
I hate myself and my life for relapsing but I am trying to tell myself it is going to be a reminder of how bad I need! and want to get clean!
I am going to tell you the first week is horrible, But each day holds a little glimmer of hope.
Each day will be so much better then the day before actually I take that back I remember day 6 being worse then day 5 but what ever.
What I am trying to get at is if you want to stop you have to just do it!
Tapering is going to prolongue the pain and suffering of WD's Which honestly stink but become a new challenge in all of our lives of soberity.
I got over the physical pain and said oh well I learned my lesson and wont do that again if I just take one on the weekends.
But good news is I bought a plane ticket to my familys lake house cottege in the middle of no were in Rushford Lake , Canadea NY. I will go threw detox up there if I can stop before then July-22.
You are going to have to just bite the bullet and do whats right. I feel bad for slipping but now I want to be clean much more.
I hope you really find peace in soberity. You sound like a good person. For the most part we all are but we get caught up in living these lives we were thrown into but some can do it sober and some cant. I found happiness in pills and then when the hapiness was gone it all turned to p00p.
Get well and for what it is worth I swear on my Grandfather and fathers grave that I will prove to them I can stop taking these drugs and will help all that are going through the same thing as I can!
If you go cold turkey you will thank me later, I promise you tapering is not what you want to do!
I am glad you are committed but I won't sugar coat it, it is not going to be a free ride.
You don't need to be Super woman, Or Super Wife, or Super Mom or anything else, but if you are going that route I can't talk you out of it. I will tell that once I broke down and told my family, I got support like I never imagined. They respected me more and were more willing that I got honest. How you keep that secret is beyond me. guilt is a killer and I hope that you don't go through it.
So you are thinking about tapering? WOW...I am going to sound like the person at the party you wish to hell would go home. Tapering is tough on a good day and I don't know a handful of people in all my years who have successfully done it. With tapering, all you are doing is spacing out the withdrawal process. It is so hard to do and especially if you are doing it alone. The best taper is done with a "buddy" who is not an addict and can hold the meds and dole them out per the schedule.
Okay, so how many do you have left? How many are you on now? What is the plan? And maybe some of us here can give you our experience and perhaps a plan that may work for you.
Saturday is typically a slow night so be patient for your answers. There are so many good members here who have been through it all and can give you great advise. Please stick around.
You don't need to be Super woman, Or Super Wife, or Super Mom or anything else, but if you are going that route I can't talk you out of it. I will tell that once I broke down and told my family, I got support like I never imagined. They respected me more and were more willing that I got honest. How you keep that secret is beyond me. guilt is a killer and I hope that you don't go through it.
So you are thinking about tapering? WOW...I am going to sound like the person at the party you wish to hell would go home. Tapering is tough on a good day and I don't know a handful of people in all my years who have successfully done it. With tapering, all you are doing is spacing out the withdrawal process. It is so hard to do and especially if you are doing it alone. The best taper is done with a "buddy" who is not an addict and can hold the meds and dole them out per the schedule.
Okay, so how many do you have left? How many are you on now? What is the plan? And maybe some of us here can give you our experience and perhaps a plan that may work for you.
Saturday is typically a slow night so be patient for your answers. There are so many good members here who have been through it all and can give you great advise. Please stick around.
Thanks for responding so quick. No I don't have a plan yet and telling anyone in my family isn't an option. To them, I am super woman and quite honestly, I am the glue that holds this whole bunch together, so there is no way I would share/burden them with this. I have been doing a lot of reading today on the subject so hopefully by tonight I will have some sort of plan worked out. I am going shopping tomorrow morning so that I will have the house stocked with food and I am going to stock up on some books too, that will help pass the time when I am not sleeping, that is as far as I have gotten with my "Plan".. LOL.. Not much, but its a start.. I tell you, just knowing how commited to this I am has given me a bit of strength.. I haven't felt this strongly about ANYTHING in a very long time.. I am just trying to figure out how I wean properly.. At some point this evening I should have some more time to surf the net so hopefully I can come up with a reasonable plan. Thanks again for responding so quickly, I have a feeling this board is going to be my best friend for a while..
Hi and Welcome,
Trust me or not, they know. You would be amazed how many people turn a blind eye BECAUSE you are functioning and they don't want to upset the apple cart, but they know.
But that is not why you are here. I can honestly tell you in all my years of addiction (my life), I have never heard of anyone dying from withdrawal unless they had underlying health problems.
Can you make it? You sure can but you will have to want this first and I need to suggest that you let your family know. Even if you think they didn't think something was wrong before, how are you going to explain this one?
You are going to have flu like symptoms for about a week and certainly there are supplements you can take to help it along but there is no way to escape the withdrawal process.
Do you have a plan?
Trust me or not, they know. You would be amazed how many people turn a blind eye BECAUSE you are functioning and they don't want to upset the apple cart, but they know.
But that is not why you are here. I can honestly tell you in all my years of addiction (my life), I have never heard of anyone dying from withdrawal unless they had underlying health problems.
Can you make it? You sure can but you will have to want this first and I need to suggest that you let your family know. Even if you think they didn't think something was wrong before, how are you going to explain this one?
You are going to have flu like symptoms for about a week and certainly there are supplements you can take to help it along but there is no way to escape the withdrawal process.
Do you have a plan?
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