I am having trouble regulating my medication zanax and end up short at months en

[Desperately miserable]

I am finding myself in trouble with zanax and it is taking more tokeep me calm I take 3 1 mg. each day and I am finding I am getting used to it and it takes a few mroe daily now instead of taking my three it is taking about 5 to keep me on a even keel. I am suffering and hurting from panic attacks and shaking. I also take 60 mg of paxil and 10 mg of ambien and The paxial was uped this past week and that is when i noticed that the xanax wasn't working as well. I seem to have a mental taste in my mouth and am very irritable and moody. Please, help someone I need someone to talk to for advise and help. I just want to feel normal again. I have had a very stressful year with a divorce and am battling with my love for my husband who also say he loves me but 2000 miles are keepingus apart. he will very soon be my x. My son was beaten by his father and hospitalized and my x was arrested and dss got involved and he turned the tables on me yet again, and is acusing me of mentally abusing our 12 yr old he was arrested for criminla domestic violence with a high and aggrivated nature for beating our 16 yur old. So my plate is full and I am thinking my life is over, i have nothing to feel happy about and need help. Please email me at ***@**** thanks

[Thomas03]

I can't really add to what Dr. Bozian has said about your overall situation, but I can tell you what I know about Xanax tolerance and withdrawal. I had a horrific 2 1/2 year fling with Xanax, which was worse than my 30 years of Rx narcotic addiction put together.

There's a wicked irony to Xanax: people start taking it primarily to treat anxiety, for which it is quite effective. But the main symptom of Xanax withdrawal is anxiety indistinguishable from their original condition. Most people's initial reaction is, gosh, I still have this terrible anxiety, maybe worse than before, so I can't stop this drug. In fact, I need more.

People find themselves in this predicament one (or both) of two ways: they use Xanax as directed long enough that they develop a tolerance and experience withdrawal between regular doses; they use Xanax with increasing frequency and dosage and run out before their next refill.

I'm not suggesting that Xanax is behind everything you're feeling. You have a lot of real live causes for anxiety. I just wanted you to be aware of the sometimes deceptive nature of the drug.

If you should sometime in the future decide to discontinue the Xanax (a benzodiazepine type drug), consider switching to an equivalent dose of the slow-acting benzodiazepine, Valium, then slowly tapering over an extended period of a month or more. Valium leaves the body much more slowly than Xanax, which gives your brain a better chance to adjust to lowering dosages.

Good luck. Like the doctor, I hope you find someone to talk to who can help you through this crisis.

Thomas

[lisabet]

Although I don't have any personal experience with Xanax, I remember my ex sister-in-law got horribly addicted to it years ago.  She got to the point she literally couldn't function without it, which eventually led her to an out-patient rehab stint; she ended up losing her kids and her job because of this dependency.  Sadly, I've lost touch with her over the years, but the last time I saw her, several years after this incidence, she was working a minimum wage job, trying to go to school with public assistance, and looked 20 years older than her 30-some years. The thing is, we were once very close, and I KNOW she was crazy about her kids, but she eventually allowed the drugs to take over.  Although my addiction is with opiates, and not benzos, we're all in the same boat together, "and there by the grace of God goes I"....desperate, you DO have a lot on your plate, and I wish you the strength to overcome all these obstacles.  There's lots of good people and advice on this forum; don't know where I'd be without it the last 6 months. Keep posting and reading, and hopefully you will find some kind of insight by the experiences of others.  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[longtimegone]

WOW, I think the two best peeps on here just gave ya advise so anything I could say would be less. All I know is the longer I ate Xanax the more it took to get me to the point I was the week before. I wasn't really even into pills, I am an opiate junky but those Xanax did grab me by the balls for a few years. In fact they still grab me evry now and then. Enuff of my nonsense, I hope you get your family situation straight and wish you luck.

[longtimegone]

Hello my friends. I hvaen't said hey for a few days so thought I would.

[Thomas03]

Howdy, longtime! How hangs thy hammer? (lisabet wanted to know LOL)

Thomas

[lisabet]

OH THOMAS -- BEHAVE ALREADY !!!!!

BUT - well, since he mentioned it, Jim, you may as well tell us!!!!....smile.

I've been doing better the last few days; doing the old taper thing again on the hydros; just taking it a day at a time. Glad to hear from ya; taken any rides on your Harley lately? Hope you're doing well.  

You better watch that Thomas fellow - he's got a mean streak!!! (Which probably is one of the reasons I adore him!)....ha.

Take care.  Love, Lisabet

[Eureka]

I too have trouble with xanax.  I always end up using way more than I should but thinking that I will cut back the next day.  I am very upset because I am just fooling myself. Prescription drugs killed my mother and they are going to kill me too. I used to do street drugs but never had a problem stopping them.  Haven't done them in 10 years, but the vicodin and xanax are really ass kickers.  For the lady whose comment I think I am replying to - Good luck.  It is so difficult to overcome prescription drug addiction, especially when you have a lot of problems.  But I know it can be done.  I am not ready yet, but close.  I hate how much weight i have gained.  I have always been told I am very attractive and I have gained 30 pounds on xanax and vicodin and feel very bad about myself and I do stupid things when I don't realize how high I am.  Anyway, I plan to try NA.  And a lot of prayers. I am out of control and can't seem to help it. Maybe the paxil isn't the right medication for you.  I have been placed on Lexapro, a new antidepressant-anti-anxiety, and I love it.  No side effects at all and is a lot like Zoloft, only better.  It is really nice to feel at least normal is some respect.  Ask your doctor.  I don't think Paxil, Ambien and Xanax is a good combo.  Good luck again.  I will say a prayer for you.

Eureka

[longtimegone]

Good to hear that you are both still hangin in there. I **** up every other week and each time I pop in here you are both still clean. Much respect!! Well Lisabet, my hammer is hangin kind of heavy at the moment...lol I was gonna go home with this chick from the bar last night and take care of this problem but then they had to go and ruin everything. They turned the damned lights up at 2am and when I got a good look at her... lets just say I wasn't quite that drunk, in fact I don't think I have ever been that drunk. I don't suppose you have any advise in that department, huh? And don't tell me to beat it either...lol  Yeah I have been going out on the scooter almost every day. I was getting so ******* down just sitting in this house, I was going nuts. I have been feeling like a new man since I've been getting out again. Well ya'll take it easy, or how ever you like it as long as ya take it. I'm gonna get ready for work, its 1am already. Keep yer goodies dry and I shall talk to ya soon.
Big Jim

[Jerri2]

Well I slipped up again!Got ahold of 70 vic.ES and had em gone in a week!I'm back to dat 2 again!What is wrong with me?Why do I keep doing this?We know what the wds are like but just keep doing it over and over again.This time I had 27 days clean!And was feelong great!Now I feel like **** againand only have myself to blame!Why do we keep putting our hand in the fire when we know were going to get burnt?Hope everyone else is doing better than me.Just had to vent a little cause I know you all understand!!  Jerri

[rodewc]

That is a real bummer.. but do as you say.. not as you do.. and keep on keeping on. I have missed u. ~

[lisabet]

Jerri - I think we're cut from the same cloth...smile.  Seems like when I start doing a little "too" good, I slide back into my bad habits for awhile, get mad at myself and start over yet again. I'm sure there's a deep pshycological reason why we do this to ourselves :) Sooner or later Dr. Phil will have this on his show, and then we'll be totally enlightened.....smile.  In the meanwhile, don't be too hard on yourself, sweetie. At least you're trying.
longtimegone....Hey Big Jim, sorry to hear about your "predictament". You're gonna have to do what I do - sweep 'em out of there "before" the lights go up, and drag 'em off to a dark alley....heh-heh. Thanks for the laugh; if everybody would admit it, I'm sure we all have such "horror" stories (like the old joke goes, at least you didn't spend the night with her and have to knaw off your arm to slip away the next morning without waking her)...ha. But look, Jim, there's something to be said about "self gratification" (or as you so eloquently put it "beating it")...ha. 1) You don't have to get cleaned up to go out 2)you don't have to buy yourself dinner and drinks and 3)you don't have to go out of your way to impress yourself with good manners and brilliant conversation. See??? Sounding better all the time, isn't is? (Hello Hand)...heh-heh.  You all have a good day; I'm gonna get out of here before I get banned for being obscene.  :)   Love, Lisabet

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

I am sitting here also beating myself up--I feel like the Queen of relapse--If anyone can answer that million dollar question as to why we keep doing it please let us know! I had 35 hydro free days and now my life is a major mess! I can sooo relate-But we'll pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and try again!!
Peace and Many Prayers N.O. Lady AKA Mystere

[Jerri2]

Thanks for your response!I guess we all have these stupid relapses.But I cant figure out why!We know what the out come is and it isnt pleasent at all!!I guess thats why they call us addicts!We dont think at the time just shove the pills down our throats and wait to feel good for awhile!I wasnt even taking them for any kind of pain!How stupid can one get!But I guess alls we can do is pick ourselves back up and go again!I guess if we ever figured out the why we could get rich!!Hope you are all having a better day today!!  Jerri

[shubunkin]

I to am taking Xanax and Paxil. Only lower doses than you. I started at .5 mg 3 times a day of Xanax and am now down to .75 total a day. It was hard but I managed. I also cut my Paxil to 20 mg every 2 days. That was not as tough. You really seem to have several problems and decisions to make. I really feel going back to a destructive relationship is not going to help you. You need to think of you. And your children. I have found my strength through the Lord and said a many prayers and I beleive I have him to thank for bringing me where I am today. I am not sure if you are a religous person nor am I trying to push it on you but the book of Psalms really brings great comfort to me. Just remember you are a very special person and you and your children deserve the best. I will be praying for you and if you would like to talk my email is ***@**** Danielle

[Milo Redux]

Desperate - I was recently in the same place as you -- ran out early and really sweated it out. Thomas is right, Valium is best because of its extremely long half life in the body, so much safer than Xanax if you do run out. I made it through, but it wasn't fun, I can tell you that! Klonopin and Librium are two other meds that have much longer half-lives than Xanax, though Valium has the longest, can be divided most easily, and is best for tapering.
Thomas --Glad to see you back on this vastly improved board. Yep, I'm the same old Milo you may remember from years past. Now that we have some MDs who will actually answer questions and not threaten to shut down the board (our vital support system), I hope to post more regularly. Hope all is well with you, my friend. -- Milo

[Victoria45tx]

Wow. If you'd told me 3 yrs ago that I'd be sitting here posting a comment for help on a drug forum I'd have laughed in your face. That only happened to weak people who couldn't get a grip on life - not me. But here I am. And I need help. And man, has my outlook on drug addiction changed. I've become painfully aware that NOBODY is safe from the demons of addiction if exposed long enough.
Enough of that - My story: I turned an elegant & graceful flip in the bathtub 3 yrs ago and broke my shoulder. I stayed on Vicodin for the pain the following 5 months until they did a 2nd MRI & discovered the shoulder wasn't healing because it was indeed broken and not a torn rotater cuff as they'd previously diagosed. I had surgery and then another 8 mos. of vicodin during the healing process. Long after the pain stopped, I continued complaining of pain as an excuse to stay on the painkillers. Sound familar? Its now 3 yrs later and I've used every doctor, every pharmacy, every story & possible lie I can think up..to get the drug. At one point, I complained to the doctor I was having trouble sleeping (I didn't tell him it was because I was loaded up on Vicodin) He prescribed Zannax to take nightly. So now thats been added to the list of demons I've allowed into my life. I'm to the point that I am sick of myself..sick of my behavior..sick of the hazy days that have now turned into years so quickly..sick of my life and the disorganized mess it has become.
You people are brave. I've sat reading your commments for the past 2 hrs and wondered if I was brave enough to post this. I normally take 4-5 Vicodin ES per day and 2 zannax at nite. I've cut myself back to 3 Vics a day and stopped the zanax totally 3 days ago. Its now been 3 days since I've slept. Vicodin withdrawal hasn't set in yet since I've just tapered off, but I guess its the zanax thats making me pull my hair out..tossing, turning, jerky legs, restlessness, fragmented dreams. And I find myself wondering how the hell I ever got in this mess. I don't mean to sound like I'm making excuses as I take full responsibility for my actions. But I was naive about medications/addictions. My doctor never warned me what Vicodin use could lead to. I never heard a single word during those 12 months about the trouble I'd have eventually coming off of it. Would it have made a difference? I don't know. I only know that its feeling like my life will never be the same again now. How does one go about re-discovering the person you were originally meant to be prior to drugs?