I broke down.....I feel so low

I finally broke.....I couldn't take the shaking, moodiness towards my daughter and the pain that I was having. I took 2 350mg soma's. Is this terrible??? Does this set me back to day once even though I did not take a hydrocodone? I feel like a completely loser, I hate myself right now. (I just wanted to let everyone know that the Soma WAS doctor prescribed and not gotten illegally). But still....I feel like such a low life.....I hate myself right now....I really do.....I was doing so well....what happened???

Danielle

[Radiostar55]

Don't beat yourself up over it..Look at the bright side..You didn't take any oxy!  Oxy and Soma were my DOC too..So get back on your horse, give your daughter a Hug and Move Foward..You can do it!!  48 days clean for me..And feeling Great!

G

[cleanmom]

Oh, sweetie, you are not low or a piece of crap, you are someone who sounds like they need more help than they are getting. Have you thought about seeing a therapist, or finding someone to care for your daughter for a couple hours a day so you can focus on your recovery and go to some meetings? Caring for children is tough to begin with especially if you dont get much help, throw withdrawal into the mix and i think its almost asking for it. It has been very hard for me, the depression part, and my son being so sick, but in the long run your daughter wont suffer nearly as much. You HAVE NOT failed. Get some extra help and keep going. We are here, i am here for you. Talk to me anytime you need. Luv, Jacky

[DanielleLeigh]

I want God to forgive me. When is God going to get to the point where he is sick of hearing all of my excuses and puts his hand out and says "No more My child, I am through with you". Does that happen? How many times do I have to ask for forgiveness before he gives up on me??? I am so ashamed.

[Radiostar55]

God will NEVER give up on YOU EVER!!  Don't give up on yourself..Remember it's not we we accomplish in Life...It's what we overcome!!

G

[cleanmom]

God will never give up on you, so dont you give up on you either. Check you inbox i sent you a message.

[sweatinit]

Hi Danielle,
First of all, please remember you're human and God already knew that you were going to have a weak moment before you did. The good news is... he will never leave us or forsake us. did you hear that? NEVER...
The struggls we are going through now will be used for his good someday. Hang in there and keep fighting!
Wish i could give you a huggie right now...lol
Read Jeremiah 29:12-14
I'll bet that will make you feel a bit better.

[wandee18]

Hi Danielle, I'm new to all this but not new to what God can do, HE is hearing you and HE will help you and HE will never give up on you, just don't give up on yourself.

[Greatgreebo]

I'm not religious in the least (recoverying Catholic)..but I do remember a lot of what the nuns used to tell us in school...and two of those things were:

God forgives those who forgive themselves.

God helps those who help themselves.

So-It's pretty simple. You need to forgive yourself, You need to decide You are going to move on and continue to get clean and after you do these two things everything else will follow in suit.

Pick yourself up. dust yourself off and keep at it. No use crying over spilled milk because you can't change it!
Stay strong,
Greebs

[avisg]

You are fine i would get rid of the soma people do have problems with them.... Get back to positive thinking

[arnsmom]

God is the only one who NEVER gives up on us. We are the ones that  beat ourselves up when we stumble and fall....he is the one reaching down to carry us along the way.

I understand how you are feeling. We have all been there, thats why we are supporting one another.

Dont crucify yourself for what happened....just dust yourself off and start over again. <3

[gnarly_1]

Hi was reading your posts both of them....there was a time in my life that I callled
somas beer igniters  I would take one then drink on it...I never developed a problem
with them but know plenty of people that have.....if I where you Id get ride of them
if your taking one for pain its one thing....but if your taking 2 for a buzz its another
as for God...ive been a practicing Christian for a long time ...Gods grace is infanet
Jesus came to set the captives free...and theres not much more captivating then
addiction ....he will forgive you every time you ask...its not what we do or dont do
but the power of what he did on the cross that brings forgiveness he died for ALL sin
not just some ...past present and future are all covered by his sacrifice and his grace
is immeasurable so go to him...he is waiting with open arms and he will forgive you
there is no shame in Jesus eyes only forgiveness and by his grace we are saved
so pick up where you left off and move past it ...take your thoughts captive and analyze them am I being rashanel or is this the addict in me thinking? first its a thought then an obsession then it becomes an action ...you need to break your train of thought b/4 it gets you in trouble...you can do this with God all things are possible good luck and God bless.....Gnarly