I can't keep doing this.

[Back2Me]

I just can't. This is awful. Back in day 2 again and feeling dreadfull. I'm sorrry but this has got to be my last time. I don't want to live anymore If it's going to be like this. I can't.

[bmdad]

I've heard of the ER sometimes prescribing clonodine if you go there and tell them you stopped taking your pain meds and are feeling bad. The er shouldn't forward anything to your doctor as long as you tell them you don't have a primary care physician.
Even without the clonodine you can do this. Just dig deep for that inner strength that we all have. I can't remember how many you said you were taking a day and for how long but for me day 3 was the hardest day physically and by day 4 I started feeling a bit better. Are you taking anything from the amino acid protocol? What about exercise? Be sure you are eating healthy and pushing the good fluids. Protein shakes will also help your body heal faster and also give you a boost of energy. Have you been keeping busy? I did jigsaw puzzles while withdrawing as it kept my mind from thinking about how bad I feel. I then framed the puzzles to hang up as a remember of the fight I fought. If puzzles aren't your thing,(which I didn't think they were mine either!) try and find something else to keep your mind occupied.
Keep fighting my friend. I know you can do this. Tell yourself every second of every day that failure is not an option. Keep fighting with everything you've got. It is so worth the pain and suffering we endure to get to the other side. I once had a year clean and it was one of the best years of my life. So please do not give in to the temptation. If you need anything, please let me know. I'm usually up late due to my back pain so if you need someone to message with late at night if you are having problems sleeping, just shoot me a message. I'm pulling for you!
Best of luck!

Brian

[misseslost]

ps : just to clarify i meant you will never win using painpills.....i think that you can definitiley do this ...you and me are at about the same point right now...im trying to put all the energy and time i spent involving pills towards getting off of them ....its hard though when it does not leave you with much energy at 8( lol but it gets better im told i already feel a bit better but trying to fight the urge to get more

[misseslost]

i hear that na meetings have helped alot of others on this site...it thats something you would be up for....im thinking right now its a vicious cycle and no matter what you will NEVER win...you will always need more and your tolerance will get higher ...there may be days you run out...its for sure a emotional roller coaster..i cant even imagine what it would be like to not have to worry about how many i have when im going to get them...i never though i could be like this and one day you are so deep you dont even know how you got there....i didnt even know i had such a big problem i was to high to pay attention...i dont know how to deal with life without ...maybe thats because i have not had enough experience dealing with life without painpills i dont know....thanks for reading my rambling good luck !

[Frivolousz21]

Maybe you need a consuler and do a taper?

look..i think CT is best....but you are at day 2..with at on of pressure....just a ton...

you sure you are mentally ready for this to be the end?

if not then give yourself a break...if you are not 100 percent ready...you won;t stay clean....maybe you need to give yourself a break..like they say in NA and go see a counselor...

[Back2Me]

I never got the pills from my doctor so that's not an issue.  I just don't want him cutting me off of my other meds that I do not abuse or take
regularly. But I never got
pain meds from any doctor except the er when I broke my ribs.
I just know this has to be the last time for me. I am going to make some very bad decisions if I have to do this again.

[martikadragoon]

woops... there wasn't supposed to be a To:    lol

[martikadragoon]

I think that the OP should talk to the doctor and be up front and honest about it. He needs to tell the Dr. that he noticed he was taking too many and that he wants to quit but is having WD really bad.

Then that medication needs to either have a note next to the name on his medical chart or even ask the dr to put it under "allergies" so they won't offer it at all.

I spoke to my dr. and was honest with him and he understood. He wasn't rude, and he didn't treat me like a lowlife or anything. It really helped take a little weight off my shoulders.

TTYL
Cindie

[shelley2703]

hi i am on day 11 and im starting to feel normal again..i still have a few withdrawal symptoms but not as bad as the first week omg it felt like extreme death i was a zombie i didnt believe i would come out of it but now i feel more active and im taking tons of vitamins..i pray never to go back on those norco's 10/325 i never knew those little yellow pills can be so addictive and so hard to get off but i did it cold turkey and stuck it out..i still feel my severe back pain which is why i had them in the first place but i cant live the way i was living on them for 4 years..so to all of you its possible to get through the withdrawals and cravings good luck

[bmdad]

I know in another post we mentioned clonodine to help with the sweats. I know you don't really want to tell your doctor what is going on as that is probably the only way to get it. Could you just tell him you decided to stop taking the pills and are feeling awful? He will then say it is due to withdrawals. Tell him you researched it a little online and read that some medication called clonodine can help. This could probably get it for you without having to fess up about and sort of addiction. The thing is you really need to tell him you don't ever want anymore. We have to cut off all ties for pills in order to be 100% successful. Just knowing you could go see your doctor to get a refill could make it very tough mentally. At least go to him so you can let him know you decided to stop taking them. Let him know you are going to try and deal with the pain with non narcotic meds. You said this is going to be the last time of going through this so what would it hurt?
Hang in there buddy. It will get better.

Brian

[misseslost]

well congrats on getting rid of 90 i prob would not have been able to do that. Great job i would have talk myself i will stop after i take these....keep up the good work and keep me posted good luck!

[Back2Me]

Well I got rid of all my pills this time ( well most of them anyway). Kept a handfull back for if I decided to taper instead of ct. But I had over 100 last week. Now I have about 10. So that is something that changed.

[mom037]

I understand your feelings.  I have been there.

Please keep posting....you have friends here.....and we will help you with no judgment.  We have all been in the same boat.....YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!

[RebeccaM]

I am sending good thoughts your way! I just finished day 1, I have asked for an online sponsor. Back2me....we can do this. I keep popping on here to read the posts, so if you want to message me please feel free, I'm in the same boat as you right now.   They say it will get better, that's what I keep telling myself every time it gets bad.

[petroglyph54]

I understand your words and I do feel what you say. So if it's got to be the last time then it is, that's good right? One thing for certain is that anybody around this site does know what yer sayin so you and I are not alone, I"m glad  I found this place, it does help me greatly. I hope you are feeling better soon, we all do!!

[GA Guy]

What are you going to do different. Nothing changes if nothing changes. What's going to make this time different?