I can't see my way out of the darkness

[shelliAS]

Hello, I stopped tramadol CT 2 months ago, and went from 4 hydros a day to 1 at the same time.  Sometime between the last 1 to 2 weeks, this severe debilitating depression came over me, along with severe anxiety.  I don't know if I can hold on much longer.  I have had depressive episodes in the past, but this is about to do me in.  I see a doc, and am on 2 ADs.  Apparently, it is not working.  I have no support system.  I am alone with this.  Only my child is keeping me alive, and I can't be a good mom to her.  She deserves better.  The tears just come.  I have prayed and prayed and I feel God has deserted me.  I hurt so bad.  I don't now how to get better.

Shelli  

[shelliAS]

Thank you so much for the support.  Has anyone had experience with EMDR for PTSD?  I am supposed to start it.  Maybe I have asked this question before, I get so muddled.  I wake every day just dreading opening my eyes.  I am trying to get out more, as I have been isolated.  I think that contributed.  I also wonder how much a role coming off the painkillers has had toward this.  I have numbed myself (unintentionally, but it happened none the less), and now no numbing.  I do take antidepressants and anxiety meds, but I feel as if I am going nowhere.

[laurel453]

Shelli...are you following these treatment for anxiety with some kind of therapy ?  I know very well how anxiety can make us feel and i really think that we must learn how to re set our minds and overcome our fears, meds can't do this for us.....

[wendy111]

call your dr. I too have gone throught depression and aniety and it took awhile to find the right combination of meds.  

I also made sure my DR. knew when something was not working or gave me crazy moods.  being an addict you know what being drugged feels like.

good luck it will get better

wendy

[shelliAS]

I am on Cymbalta and just started Welbutrin.  There is a huge anxiety component to this depression that is close to sending me over the edge.  

Shelli

[gnarly_1]

HI....man  I feel your pain I just went threw a horable depression myself about a week ago
im an addict but also diagnosed with bipolar disorder ...I always stay on my meds and normally I dont even know I have it...I have been hospitalized twice with it over 7yrs
but last week it took me down to places I never care to go again...it was my first episode being clean and it made everything seam more sever....I waited for a few days then finely went to my phyc dr to get my meds adjusted...over the last week I have been slowly coming out of it today im tired but no longer in that deep dark depression ...if your not snaping out of it and your on meds they may need to switch your meds around this is nothing to mess with if you need help get in for it...everybody I think goes threw some depression but when it becomes overwhelming and hopeless and dosent go away you need to get in and see your doctor....I have been lucky I live with this and it rarely messes up my life....but I have also learned to seek help b/4 it gets to out of hand
make sure you get to the doctor this week ...the meds take time to work so the sooner you on this the sooner you will feel better...I wish you all the luck in the world..and just know your not alone with this but it is treatable so get help.......Gnarly    

[avisg]

what ADs are u on ?