I can't thank you guys enough!!!

Thank you guys so MUCH!!!  Am on day 4 1/2  :) of  oxy CT.    Didn't think I'd get to post on this site ever again!!  Thank you all so much for whatever you did to get Med Help to allow me back on.  I shouldn't have been off'ed; that was ludicrous and so upsetting!

I really got attached to my online community!  Thanks so much for everything. I don't know HOW you did it... seems like a true miracle, really, BUT Thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting me back on!!!

Much Love to all of you who helped with this.  I'm curious...how'd you do it?

Back to the addiction issue....feel almost normal today.  My brain keeps missing the feel of ANYTHING chemical and that's driving me crazy!  Can't believe how consuming my pharmaceutical fantasies are!  I know they will dim. At least I pray to GOD that  they will.  I don't want to feel this way ever again.  Am feeling kind of depressed that I could miss something so awful!  WTH????           TODAY,  I will not go see Dr. Feel Good or   Mr. Drug Dealer.  TODAY, I will stay totally clean and sober!  Thank you guys so much!

[gnarly_1]

HI ....im so happy we could straiten this out for you vicki sent ne a message stating what happened I cut and pasted your post to the moderators and told the it looked like an honest mistake and you where new here and to see if there was a way to reinstate you...im so happy it worked good luck on your road to sobriety......Gnarly  

[Dav125]

Your back!! Amazing how these things can happen,,isn't it??:):)

[wantoutofhell]

TRULY AMAZING. IT was literally like a MIRACLE when I read the email from Vicki saying I was back on!  That they'd fought the battle and won!

Amazing.  I have no idea how it was done...  but I can't believe it.  I really, really needed a miracle... and I got one.  From here!!!!!!!

Maybe everything does happen for a reason!  Truly inspired....

It may seem small... but it's NOT at all small to me! I love you guys!

[QRSED]

I dont know what happened but Im very happy to see you post again.  I'm about 2 days behind you and have been reading your threads for inspiration to keep on going.  I am determined this time to do it because this is the longest I have gone without a pill for what seems like forever and I dont want to do this again.  You are right when you talk about this site and its qualities, it has truly helped me.  Good luck to you and keep looking forward cause I'll always be chasing you.

[vicki595]

Simply amazing how that happened Dave...

So,almost normal? Good!  I love that term: Pharmaceutical Fantasies...that's your addict brain talking to you. Don't listen.  Also, you may have dreams about pills and they're very vivid!  Pay close attention to them though. I have a theory that our behaviour in our dreams dictates our reality.  So,if you have a pill dream share what you did in the dream..it's interesting ...

You sound good!  So,that tells me you can think about recovery care? Aftercare? You're going to need it!

[trdofbeingtrd]

More than one person messaged the moderators and told them about your problem.

You have people here who want to help you and know you were misunderstood. I think that Claire the MH Moderator took care of you because of the people who let her know what was going on.

I am glad it's taken care of. The people who post to you are giving you great advice and support. Thank you for posting and wanting to change.

[wantoutofhell]

Wow... I so hope I'm better in reality than in my dreams!!   I DID have pill dreams!  There were pills rolling around the floor of my car.  I grabbed the only one I could... and was bummed it was only a soma, but grateful for something. Anyway I took it!!!!

So GLAD IT WAS ONLY A DREAM!  But, what does that say  about me?  Am afraid to hear!

[carson1975]

Glad u got to stay and your feeling better ! Just keep going and going just like that energizer bunny ! I'm so proud of u !! U got this . I've been having dreams to I think our brains r playing games with us! Good luck to ya and god bless

[dominosarah]

Those dreams will lessen with time.  It is just your brain playing some real nasty games with you.....

[wantoutofhell]

Thanks for the support and back at you guys!  About aftercare?  Definitely will be going to NA!!!!  Have been in AA for years and my AA sponsor knows what's going on with me.  Well, maybe not the TOTAL extent of it.... but he does know I've been on pain killers for pain. AND he knows I stopped because I felt I was losing control of it.  

The people I've been most honest with are right here!  However, the serious pain is really flairing up and I feel like SCREAMING.  Ibuprofen doesn't touch it!  Not even 800 mg!  AAAHGH!!!!  So frustrated and depressed about that!

[vicki595]

It's only my opinion but I think when we stop "using" in our dreams it's a very good sign that we have reconciled the addiction. By no means cured or all better...just coming to terms with it and moving on.  We're very raw in our dreams yet we still have logic,morals,etc...just what I think,it could be totally not true who knows? I just think it's a positive sign...

"Only a Soma"...I'm laughing. You need to change that thinking. Soma is addicting,too!!

Yes...again, a lot of people saw what happened and knew what to do...we seem to take care of our own here..

[wantoutofhell]

I think you are right. I now have said "NO" to a drink for years in my dreams!!!  Not at first though! :) I'd always wake up panicked and think I'd relapsed and was always SO RELIEVED to be sober!

[gnarly_1]

HI ....im so happy we could straiten this out for you vicki sent ne a message stating what happened I cut and pasted your post to the moderators and told the it looked like an honest mistake and you where new here and to see if there was a way to reinstate you...im so happy it worked good luck on your road to sobriety......Gnarly  

[wantoutofhell]

Thanks for taking action for me, Gnarly.  I can't even begin to express my appreciation.  Also, thanks for saying "this is not a game you're playing"....  it really slapped me in the face.  I needed that desperately!  Thanks a million and God bless!  :)   Day 7 1/2 is SO MUCH BETTER!  :) :) :)

[wantoutofhell]

Day 8 1/2 is the BEST YET!!!! :)

[wantoutofhell]

Oops... I mean 9 1/2... hard to believe!  Still waiting for math skills to return! :)  Very grateful!!!!!   Thanks to all of you!

[Me1025]

Glad to hear your doing well! thanks for all of your support to me as well! I'm having a rough day today, hoping for better tomorrow! God bless and your in my prayers.

[wantoutofhell]

Thank you so much Mel.  You are in my prayers as well.  I hope the rough day has gotten better...  I notice that you wrote 9 hours ago...  maybe you've slept and are into a new day.  I hope so.  I DO know, that the rough patches pass!  Thank you back for YOUR support.  I really appreciate it!  We're in this together all of us.  What a wonderful group of people.