Aa
I dont know what to do!
I really need some help i have so many loved ones addicted to perscription pills and i dont know how much more i can take. I want to make sure this is the correct way of doing this before i go in detail so could someone let me know if this is where i post my concerns.Please and thank you.
I just have to say, pray and turn to God. I too have felt "weak", and we are- we are human. Surrender to God's will and pray for strength to do His will. God loves us all and does not want you or your kids to suffer because of the addicts in your life. Addiction is horrible- it steals souls. I know, For i am the recovering grateful to God addict. All you can really do for anyone is pray for them- you can't change them. My heart goes out to you. A prayer : God
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (other people, addiction) courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (other people, addiction) courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Try and slow your brain down. You have to take care of you first and foremost and then the rest will fall into place. I know this is all very overwhelming but you have to make sure you are okay. Take an hour out of your week for now and try to go to an alanon meeting. You wont feel so all alone.........sara
your time is running out, I'm not trying to be mean. I know you know that. But your time is running out...some how some where you have to find the strength to let this man go and move on.
If your that close to paying off your house...maybe you can look into selling it and having a nice bit a cash leftover, there should be some money there...probably enough for you to leave and start a new life somewhere else.
I know you can do this, that is just something I am throwing out there, can you go to the priest or pastor? Is there anyone in the area you can go to for help?
If your that close to paying off your house...maybe you can look into selling it and having a nice bit a cash leftover, there should be some money there...probably enough for you to leave and start a new life somewhere else.
I know you can do this, that is just something I am throwing out there, can you go to the priest or pastor? Is there anyone in the area you can go to for help?
Thank you so much for your advice it really helps me and I agree i am weak and i have tried so very hard to be strong i wish i could just forget about him but i do love him so very much he is a wonderful person the best person i have ever met and let into me and my kids lives underneath his drug addiction i just dont want to give up on him. I talked to him today and he told me he has not done anything since tuesday that gave me a lot of hope that he will be able to do it and be a part of our lives again I will not let him come back as much as i want to until i know he is off of them but i dont want to completely give up on him. I do not love him more then my kids or he would be here with us right now i would not have everything shut of but my water n electric pull all my kids out of sports stop any family and friend activities that we use to do every weekend and have to borrow from friends n family to pay my bills so i dont loose my house i know im not the only person going through this how do they do it finacially i have a decent job i bring home about 300.00 a week and all i have is my house payment 400.00 a month my car payment 360.00 and now just my electric and water 250.00 some single income families have way more then that how do they do it? One of my kids becoming addicted is my biggest fear and thats why i will not let him back if he is not off of them i dont ever want them to think it is ok or a way to live. I know i really need to get help for myself to get through this and to be honest i dont know why i dont it seems like i always find something that needs to be done or i just flat put it off, i have no idea why i do this. I was on my way home from takin the kids trick or treating tonight and it was real quiet and i thought what happen to us all of us our laughs our talks every evening on our way home we use to blair the music and sing along tell stories of our day even trick or treat was not the same the kids didnt try and run off and me have to go after them they were ready to go home not long after we started. It seems like we are all so distant and none of us are happy anymore. When i talk to them and ask them why they always just say things are not the same anymore with him gone but they understand why i made him leave.
I know i need to get my head together but it is so very hard i just dont know how to do it all i can do is work and work and work i had to open my availability so i could get as many hours as i can to make ends meet which has helped i get 40 + hrs a week but im still struggling i dont ever get to see my kids and im going to owe every bit of my taxes to people when i get them i just dont know what to do my head goes ninty mile an hour every day and night of my life, ( "what can i do to make more money?" "get a second job cant really do that because i already work 40 + a week and i dont have anyone to help me with my kids i cant leave them alone every day and night" "how am i going to get them there needs financially?" "get child support " "tried that got 150.00 but how long will that last and will i get more, get help from churches foot hills red cross" got help with half of my electric bill once from a church no one else has funds and the church cant help me again" " will i ever be able to give my oldest daughter her dream to have her own room?" "started it when i was with him but will i ever be able to finish it?" "Is my middle daughter gonna be able to play basketball next year after being so devistated tio have to quit this year?" the coach said not to worry bout the fee but how will i get gas money to take her to practices and games and what if i have to work who will take her?" "Am i going to be able to pay back my little boy the money he worked so hard for to start saving to get him a dirt bike that i had to borrow from him to pay my car payment?" "If i am able i dont have the money to put in with it that i promised him" "Am i going to have enough money out of my taxes to pay my bills uop in advance?" " should i let my house go?" " I only have about 3 1/2 years and its paid off there is a 2 year waiting list to get in low income apartments and if i rent a place im gonna pay about as much as i do no I cant live with family or friends my mom and my little sister are addicts so it wouldnt be much better my other sister has no room for us i have a aunt that lives in mich but shes a alcoholic should i just completly give everything up and go to a shelter?" " Will he be able to get off the pills and come back home to help put our family back together? If he does get off of them am i gonna be able to put everything behind me? If he quits will he stay off of them or will i end up goin through this again?"" How is this all going to effect my kids?""Will we ever be our selves again or has this changed us for ever?""How did i let this happen?" And i could go on and on! Maybe thats why i just cant seem to make the time to go get help cuz i feel like im going as much as my brain i just dont know!
I know i need to get my head together but it is so very hard i just dont know how to do it all i can do is work and work and work i had to open my availability so i could get as many hours as i can to make ends meet which has helped i get 40 + hrs a week but im still struggling i dont ever get to see my kids and im going to owe every bit of my taxes to people when i get them i just dont know what to do my head goes ninty mile an hour every day and night of my life, ( "what can i do to make more money?" "get a second job cant really do that because i already work 40 + a week and i dont have anyone to help me with my kids i cant leave them alone every day and night" "how am i going to get them there needs financially?" "get child support " "tried that got 150.00 but how long will that last and will i get more, get help from churches foot hills red cross" got help with half of my electric bill once from a church no one else has funds and the church cant help me again" " will i ever be able to give my oldest daughter her dream to have her own room?" "started it when i was with him but will i ever be able to finish it?" "Is my middle daughter gonna be able to play basketball next year after being so devistated tio have to quit this year?" the coach said not to worry bout the fee but how will i get gas money to take her to practices and games and what if i have to work who will take her?" "Am i going to be able to pay back my little boy the money he worked so hard for to start saving to get him a dirt bike that i had to borrow from him to pay my car payment?" "If i am able i dont have the money to put in with it that i promised him" "Am i going to have enough money out of my taxes to pay my bills uop in advance?" " should i let my house go?" " I only have about 3 1/2 years and its paid off there is a 2 year waiting list to get in low income apartments and if i rent a place im gonna pay about as much as i do no I cant live with family or friends my mom and my little sister are addicts so it wouldnt be much better my other sister has no room for us i have a aunt that lives in mich but shes a alcoholic should i just completly give everything up and go to a shelter?" " Will he be able to get off the pills and come back home to help put our family back together? If he does get off of them am i gonna be able to put everything behind me? If he quits will he stay off of them or will i end up goin through this again?"" How is this all going to effect my kids?""Will we ever be our selves again or has this changed us for ever?""How did i let this happen?" And i could go on and on! Maybe thats why i just cant seem to make the time to go get help cuz i feel like im going as much as my brain i just dont know!
After everything you have seen and been threw you will risk your kids lives over this man. I have no idea how you justify this. This isn't about you loving this man so much, this is about you being weak. My father was this guy you describe, he is was a pathetic loser. he is almost 50 and still can't get clean after hundreds of tries...hundreds..the best thing I ever did for me was to have nothing to do with him and it has been 10 years since I have seen him, which was an accident.
What happens when your oldest becomes a drug addict like the rest of them? How will you feel then? Will you miss this guy then? If I were you, I would go to a church, AA, NA, hospital, whatever you gotta do to get help someone to help you get rid of these people.
YOU CAN'T HELP THEM.
File a restraining order from this guy, he may not talk it well when you tell him it's done and to get away from your family.
what do you do when your 14 yr old boy and his friends have money and want pills to get high and your awesome BF buys them for them so he can shave some off the top?
that is what drug addicts do.
please let go and get rid of this guy, please get help..please
What happens when your oldest becomes a drug addict like the rest of them? How will you feel then? Will you miss this guy then? If I were you, I would go to a church, AA, NA, hospital, whatever you gotta do to get help someone to help you get rid of these people.
YOU CAN'T HELP THEM.
File a restraining order from this guy, he may not talk it well when you tell him it's done and to get away from your family.
what do you do when your 14 yr old boy and his friends have money and want pills to get high and your awesome BF buys them for them so he can shave some off the top?
that is what drug addicts do.
please let go and get rid of this guy, please get help..please
Well only a few more days till halloween and i just put some of my holloween stuff up yesterday and i still havent carved the pumpkin i have to snap out of this but i idont know how i use to love the holidays i feel like a awful mom. I cant believe he has not done anything yet. They opened a free rehab right here in town and he still wont go. He lost his job the other day because he stoled a 700.00 piece of work equipment. Can he not see that his habit is getting worse? I just dont understand it. I wish it would start getting easier for me or he would just go get help!
It is so very hard it was not this painful when my ex husband whom i was from the time i was 13 till almost 6 yrs ago and he is the father of my 3 kids. My heart hurts so bad not just because of what im going through but my kids loved him so much. It breaks my heart so much when they start talking bout memories they had with him just last night on my way home my little boy said mom i miss him so bad i said i know bub hopefully he will get help n come home soon (i havent told them he is n jail) then he went on to tell me that a certain place on our road, he showed me exactly where it was, that it had been rainin and he was lookin out the window and my bf went through a puddle n the water come up n got him wet and he said you got me wet then my bf said watch out here comes another one and he had a bottle of water n drinched him with it. My little boy laughed so hard n said mom i want him to come back. All i could do is cry! And its everyday that my kids talk about little memories like that it hurts me so bad.
I understand how hard it is when you love someone - it can be all-consuming when things like this are going on. It makes it hard to take care of our children and our self. I know you love him but you might have to consider just leaving him where he is and take the advice given earlier. You just cannot save him - your best chance of saving him is leaving him locked up rather than bailing him out. I know how easy it is for me to say that while you are the one who is hurting, but it will get easier every day. Perhaps you could meet some new people...clean people...and start focusing on you and your children. It is so hard...so I feel for you dear.
I talked to him late last night and he said he had been asleep because he felt like crap that he hadnt done a perc all day just 3 of his med and he was gonna get ready to go back to sleep so he didnt get one i was so happy and then not even 10 min later i got a phone call and it was him he said he was going to jail and needed 400.00 for a old warrent to get out would i please call my brother n law and see if he will get him out i was so hurt and angry i thought for one you lied to me because he said he was going back to sleep and he got pulled over coming out of a drug dealers road and for another i have been having to get money from my sister and brother n law to pay my bills because of him how could he even ask me to do something like that!!! But i feel so bad for him being in there my sister said that might be the best thing for him but our jail is bad here you can get just as much in there as on the streets or maybe it would be. And why did he lie to me he has been being honest with me since we split up??? I wish this would all just go away! I try really hard to just focus on me and my kids but its so hard when stuff like this happens.
well he still hasnt gone to rehab and i am still without him i just wish this would start getting easier i miss him so much. I still have not had any luck with help payin my bills my sister said she would help me as long as she could.I will keep prayin that he gets help. Thanks for your advise janet19.
If you have never been a drug user it is hard to understand why. Drug addiction gets a hold of us and draws us in so deep and it is not that easy to stop. We go through pain, and despair daily, it has such a hold on us that it is not easy to get rid of. Getting clean is a long and difficult struggle. It takes all your inner strength to try and get clean and stay clean. It is horrible, BUT IT CAN HAPPEN! But as long as your bf is not ready to get clean there is nothing you can say or do to help.
You have searched and found a way for it to happen detox/rehab with the state. That shows how much you want it to happen.
I feel for you so much, going through this alone can't be easy. I am sure you have found yourself being stronger than you thought you could be. Being alone is not easy, it gets lonely, no one to share with and be beside you. However you are doing what you have to do for you and your children and in the long run you will know you made that right choice. Right now all you can do is work on making a better life for you and your children. Try to find some happiness and then that happiness will rub off on your children. You now have all the time that is spared to be with your children, helping with homework or just talking as friends. You have more than you think in them.
I would love to make your misery go away and for your life to grow and flourish. But you are the only one who can do this for yourself. Right now you are doing what you have to do without your bf around and if he keeps refusing help stick to your guns. One day hopefully he will come around and see your side of the story.
I wish you lots of luck and will be praying for you.
You have searched and found a way for it to happen detox/rehab with the state. That shows how much you want it to happen.
I feel for you so much, going through this alone can't be easy. I am sure you have found yourself being stronger than you thought you could be. Being alone is not easy, it gets lonely, no one to share with and be beside you. However you are doing what you have to do for you and your children and in the long run you will know you made that right choice. Right now all you can do is work on making a better life for you and your children. Try to find some happiness and then that happiness will rub off on your children. You now have all the time that is spared to be with your children, helping with homework or just talking as friends. You have more than you think in them.
I would love to make your misery go away and for your life to grow and flourish. But you are the only one who can do this for yourself. Right now you are doing what you have to do without your bf around and if he keeps refusing help stick to your guns. One day hopefully he will come around and see your side of the story.
I wish you lots of luck and will be praying for you.
I just dont understand i feel so hurt one minute angry the next then im happy i feel like a roller coaster when will all this stop how can he say he loves us but still choose not to be with us why wont he just get help he is sleeping in his car he has no one why not choose us we love him so much!Is he seeing someone else or is it just the pills that make it so easy for him to go days without seeing us i miss him so much! I do ok when im working or keeping myself busy but the minute i go home all i think about is him wheres he at what is he doing is he with someone else is he doing a pill right now i cant sleep cause when i lay down to sleep all i think is about him. what if he dont want to get back with us thats why he dont wanna stop with the pills what if he stops with the pills am i gonna be able to put everything behind me? Gosh so many questions and i could go on and on! I hope and pray this gets better soon!
well it has been since the 10 of this month and i feel like im goin crazy i feel like i am all alone and i am so lost i miss him so much i just dont understand one minute he cares the next he dont i have not let him come back and i told him he couldnt unless he was in rehab for atleast six months and was clean for at least four months after getting out it has been so hard i have no idea how im gonna make ends meet my phone,computer, and my tv has been shut off the day before my electric got shut off i found a church that helped me pay it i live in a very small town i have been everywhere looking for help we dont have many servises like that i even went to surroundin counties i was able to get food stamps which is wonderful and i have been up to the court house every time i get a chance begging them to make my kids father pay child support that worked some we have a court date november the 15 but that is nothing i can count on he is 17,000.00 behind and this will make the 3rd court date in the last 2 years and i have only got 1000.00 since then i found a job for picking and packaging walnuts its only for the month of october but he said my kids could help me i also found a job helping tearing down a old house both places said that i could do it arround my work schedule at my full time job. i only have a like 3 or 4 more years and i have my home paid off i cant loose it.
and he is not a bad person he is one of the most wonderful caring kind hearted people i have ever met in my life and i love him so much he just has a very bad drug addiction and i dont want my kids around it i have tried very hard to give my kids the life they deserve i love my kids more then anything and they are the only reason i do the things i do in life. i know they will be thankful of this when they get older and i dont ever want them to think the things he is doing is ok but it breaks my heart to see them cry for him and beg him to stop so he can come back home. and i know if he didnt have this addiction my kids would have the lives they deserve with him in it as well as me. i cant figure out why he wont just go to rehab he is sleeping in his car he has nothing to loose i even found him one that is state funded i pray everyday and night that he will just become the person i know he is and get help .
i dont have my internet so i dont know how often i will be able to get on im hopin to try and find a cheap internet company soon because it really helps me to have someone to talk to expecially all of you please will everyone pray for me and my kids to become stronger and that i find a way to make ends meet until i get my taxes then i should be able to pay up some of my bills with that and please pray for him he really needs it.
thank you all so much!
and he is not a bad person he is one of the most wonderful caring kind hearted people i have ever met in my life and i love him so much he just has a very bad drug addiction and i dont want my kids around it i have tried very hard to give my kids the life they deserve i love my kids more then anything and they are the only reason i do the things i do in life. i know they will be thankful of this when they get older and i dont ever want them to think the things he is doing is ok but it breaks my heart to see them cry for him and beg him to stop so he can come back home. and i know if he didnt have this addiction my kids would have the lives they deserve with him in it as well as me. i cant figure out why he wont just go to rehab he is sleeping in his car he has nothing to loose i even found him one that is state funded i pray everyday and night that he will just become the person i know he is and get help .
i dont have my internet so i dont know how often i will be able to get on im hopin to try and find a cheap internet company soon because it really helps me to have someone to talk to expecially all of you please will everyone pray for me and my kids to become stronger and that i find a way to make ends meet until i get my taxes then i should be able to pay up some of my bills with that and please pray for him he really needs it.
thank you all so much!
There are so many progams that help with food and shelter and safe houses for women. It is time to admit to yourself that this bf is dangerous to you and your children. If you don't think anything else for you, think of your kids. If you don't get your **** together and stay away from him you will be the one that loses. You are on the verge of losing your children to welfare. It would only take one phone call and it can all turn on you. You may not be the user but you are allowing this to happen to your children.
I am sure you love your children and let me tell you no man is worth losing your children over. It could be a neighbor or teacher or anyone to say one word to welfare. If your bf is coming around or if cops are looking for him it takes one complaint about you and your living arrangements to get one phone call that could ruin your life and your childrens.
Wake up he is a loser and will be nothing else. He is too far gone and same goes for you mom and sister. Death is on the way to all 3 of them and from the sound of it soon. Sad to say would probably be the best thing for you and your children.
Get a life, get out of it and get as far away as you can. Get food stamps from a different low housing property away from them in another city or best another state. Start your life fresh. Give you kids a new fresh life. I don't even know how you are holding down a job with so much drama going on.
Go to a church clergy anywhere and ask for help to start new away from all this. Move move move away as far away as you can get. he is not going to stop don't let him control your life so that you can be there for you children.
Your kids could have such a brighter future and who knows one may be a doc or lawyer one day. Give those kids a chance.
I am sure you love your children and let me tell you no man is worth losing your children over. It could be a neighbor or teacher or anyone to say one word to welfare. If your bf is coming around or if cops are looking for him it takes one complaint about you and your living arrangements to get one phone call that could ruin your life and your childrens.
Wake up he is a loser and will be nothing else. He is too far gone and same goes for you mom and sister. Death is on the way to all 3 of them and from the sound of it soon. Sad to say would probably be the best thing for you and your children.
Get a life, get out of it and get as far away as you can. Get food stamps from a different low housing property away from them in another city or best another state. Start your life fresh. Give you kids a new fresh life. I don't even know how you are holding down a job with so much drama going on.
Go to a church clergy anywhere and ask for help to start new away from all this. Move move move away as far away as you can get. he is not going to stop don't let him control your life so that you can be there for you children.
Your kids could have such a brighter future and who knows one may be a doc or lawyer one day. Give those kids a chance.
I hope you are doing OK, you sound very stressed. You need some live support where you live. Not the boyfriend or the sister or mama... They are your problem, go to a good church, regardless of your faith. Talk to the Pastor/Father (whatever) you have to get away from the problem and get plugged in to a strong network. Your son might miss him now, but he will love you for it later when he is older, being productive, living a normal life because his mom made the tough choice. Once you commit to it, it will get easier, tell the users to say on their side of town. You can do this, God Bless.. your friend, Andrew
well its been since friday i havent talked to him or seen him i dont know how to feel or think im tryin really hard to keep it together for my kids but im so scared im gonna break my kids r askin questions n it makes it really hard my little boy is takin it really hard he loved him so much. I feel like i am goin at this all alone i have no idea how im gonna pay my bills or take care of my kids but i have promised myself that im not letting him come back. Im scared im not gonna b able to stay stong. I dont have anyone reliable enough to help me with my kids to get a second job i already work 40 +hrs a weel. If they would make my kids dad pay child support that would make it a lot easier then all i would have to do is get us through it emotionaly we all love him so much i will never find anyone as good as he was to me n my kids!!!!!!!
and again thank u all so much for ur advise n support!
and again thank u all so much for ur advise n support!
Listen to these posts, do yourself a HUGE favor and learn from other people's experiences. You know how people say, "they have to learn things for themselves" NOT ALWAYS. You CAN learn from other's experiences, you can and you will if you let yourself. Don't end up learning the hard way. Think things are bad now? They can get much much worse. Save yourself and the kids. You have three years to pay off the house, there has to be help for you for that. There has to be someone in your church or community or doctor's office or kids' school who can point you in the right direction. But staying with him will just ruin everything even more because he doesn't want to change right now, he doesn't love himself enough and you can't do ANYTHING about that. You love him, and you can keep loving him. He's there, he'll be there, God willing, you just gotta love him from a distance. Maybe he'll come around but right now only have concern for your kids and for yourself. Don't have it be 5 - 10 years later and you are saying to yourself I wish I would have listened. I wish you such good luck.
Your kids deserve better. I am in the same boat with my bf. I have him an ultimatum and he is now in a methadone program and its like I got him (and MY life back). The person who said we attract like is right. All of us who are drug addicts have a temperament. We're loving, highly sensitive people...many of us are creative. There is a type. We flock together.
I'm 13 years clean so I can tell you that it can be done. My bf admitting (well, I knew before he admitting) that he was using just pissed me off at addiction again so I went looking for support and to support others.
Drive him to a treatment program and then you've done your part. Beyond that you don't owe him more. He owes himself more. If he won't go into a treatment to save his life then he is the type that will drag you under. I know you won't listen to any of us, so let me say this...
you will lose your kids if anyone finds out. be smart. he's not more important than they are.
God bless.
I'm 13 years clean so I can tell you that it can be done. My bf admitting (well, I knew before he admitting) that he was using just pissed me off at addiction again so I went looking for support and to support others.
Drive him to a treatment program and then you've done your part. Beyond that you don't owe him more. He owes himself more. If he won't go into a treatment to save his life then he is the type that will drag you under. I know you won't listen to any of us, so let me say this...
you will lose your kids if anyone finds out. be smart. he's not more important than they are.
God bless.
You need to break free, save yourself and your kids. Your mom and sister don't want to quit, neither does the boyfriend... he is pacifying you. Even if you have to get another PT job to cover the $400. You may can handle all the drama, but ur kids dont need it.
Let me share something with you, if the are chewing on fentanyl patches, it is only a matter of time before you will be attending funerals. Not to sound harsh, but this situation is deterioting quickly. Do some research online. One of the very 1st post I read was from a lady who had lost her partner to that.
Worry about the things you can control, try not to even think about the things you can't. Things will get better quickly, you might lose a few "friends/loved ones" but I got a tell you, they aren't spending alot of time worrying about you. True/False? Just another perspective. I feel for you and am not in the middle of your situation as you are, so I have a little broader view. Best of Luck and God Bless.. You are a very strong lady who has been through a lot, you deserve better.
Let me share something with you, if the are chewing on fentanyl patches, it is only a matter of time before you will be attending funerals. Not to sound harsh, but this situation is deterioting quickly. Do some research online. One of the very 1st post I read was from a lady who had lost her partner to that.
Worry about the things you can control, try not to even think about the things you can't. Things will get better quickly, you might lose a few "friends/loved ones" but I got a tell you, they aren't spending alot of time worrying about you. True/False? Just another perspective. I feel for you and am not in the middle of your situation as you are, so I have a little broader view. Best of Luck and God Bless.. You are a very strong lady who has been through a lot, you deserve better.
Im so scared he has been out for the last 3 nights till 1 or 2 in the morning and has been way over doing it on the pills. last night he come home bout 2 in the morning we had a big fight cuz he bought 3 perc 30s and his med from his dr i made him leave. i dont want him to come back but i dont know what im gonna do to pay my bills i told him not to but now im scared. what do i do just make him stay gone n hope i figure out how to pay my bills or do i let him come back if he will im going crazy i also found out he is chewing fentanyl patches with my mom n sister i need him to be gone im going crazy but what if i cant pay my bills i only make about 1200 a month working full time n i have about 1600 in bills i dont think i can get another job but i gotta do something i cant keep letting me and my kids live like this.im so scared and confused.
I think you all so much for your advise it really did help to get it out. I do have one sister that is not a addict and some friends, I work alot and take care of my kids im sort of a loner when it comes to friends but the people I do have judge me and say im stupid for staying with him. But they just dont understand i love him so much and i dont want to give up on him. I thought giving him a ultamatum might make him see that he would rather have a life with us then the drugs I have done everything i could think of to help him. He says he wants help but yet he lies to me and keeps stuff from me and never sticks to what he says hes gonna do to get off the pills. He has read some of the post with me but i wonder if he does these things just to make everything ok for the moment. We talked this evening and he wants to pay our bills a head and take 2 weeks off and just stay at home to get off the pills i want to hope that he is sincere and that would work but he went almost a month off of them before and ended up right back on them. I told him i would get a second job to pay the bills if he would go to rehab or even to try staying home to get off of them but he and i are scared that will be too much i already work 40 + a week but with just that income wont pay the bills. My kids already know about his problem and my moms and sisters and with there dad he never kept it a secret from them.With my mom and sister they have seen them messed up on zanax and zomas so i just explain to them how dangerous it is and how bad it is im so scare that it being in there life by so many they will steer that way so i have knowledged them as much as i can about it and with me and my boyfriends situation they have seen a lot of tears from me and him and have noticed a big change in me they had questions of what was wrong and why. Before i got on medication for my nerves i cried all the time or i would loose my temper alot i felt they needed a explanation of why so me and him sat down and explained it to them was that wrong of me should i of kept it from them? I have litarally become absessed with there addictions i have called there drug dealers and threatened them. some it worked some not.Every minute of my day i think about it. With my mom and my sister i could stay completely away from them but i love them and my neice so much and i worry about my neice she is only 2 years old so i cant completely with draw myself from them.
I have a question that i would like to get from a addicts point of veiw and someone that is not a addict DO I GIVE UP ON HIM OR DO I KEEP FIGHTING TO SAVE HIM!!!!!!! And any advise of what i can do to help him or to be a stronger person to get out.
I have checked into some naranon meetings and i have found one close to me I plan to start attending them.
And again i am so thankful for you all and i know noone can tell me what to do but i think everyones thoughts will help me so much just knowing i have someone to talk to has been alot of help.I am so sorry to keep going on and on but i have keept this in for so long and i have so much inside me.I really feel lost.
Do u think because i am gravitated to drug and alcohol abusers that if he does get off pills i may not find myself loving him as i do know?
Should i try the naranon meetings before seeking a counsilor?
Thanks so much for all of your help!!!!
I have a question that i would like to get from a addicts point of veiw and someone that is not a addict DO I GIVE UP ON HIM OR DO I KEEP FIGHTING TO SAVE HIM!!!!!!! And any advise of what i can do to help him or to be a stronger person to get out.
I have checked into some naranon meetings and i have found one close to me I plan to start attending them.
And again i am so thankful for you all and i know noone can tell me what to do but i think everyones thoughts will help me so much just knowing i have someone to talk to has been alot of help.I am so sorry to keep going on and on but i have keept this in for so long and i have so much inside me.I really feel lost.
Do u think because i am gravitated to drug and alcohol abusers that if he does get off pills i may not find myself loving him as i do know?
Should i try the naranon meetings before seeking a counsilor?
Thanks so much for all of your help!!!!
Hi Help us,
I was really sorry to read your sad story.
I hope it helped you just a little to be able to put it all down on paper and get it off your chest.
You say that you have no-one else to talk to. Do you have a friend perhaps, one who isn't into drugs at all, and who you trust. Opening up to someone else and getting a little support can be a great thing. If you don't, then at least you know you have a lot of friends right here that you can turn to at any time.
You've been given a lot of good advice. Sadly the others are right. You cannot change your partner unless he decides to do it himself. Threats like telling him to get clean by September won't work. He needs to want to do this for himself. My only suggestion would be that you might encourage him to read some of the posts on this site. Specially the success stories. A little inspiration might at least make him begin to think.
Meantime, you've got so much going on that of course your brain can't handle it. I'm sre this situation, that's been going on so long has damaged your confidence, motivation and self esteem. If you can afford it, you could go back to your doctor and ask him to refer you to a counsellor. You need to begin tackling all the conflicting emotions in your mind.
As the others say, you must put yourself and your children first just now.
Once you've had a chance to mull over all that the other posters have advised, come back online, and we'll be more than happy to answer any questions that we can, or just listen to you if that is what you want.
Thinking of you.
Take care
I was really sorry to read your sad story.
I hope it helped you just a little to be able to put it all down on paper and get it off your chest.
You say that you have no-one else to talk to. Do you have a friend perhaps, one who isn't into drugs at all, and who you trust. Opening up to someone else and getting a little support can be a great thing. If you don't, then at least you know you have a lot of friends right here that you can turn to at any time.
You've been given a lot of good advice. Sadly the others are right. You cannot change your partner unless he decides to do it himself. Threats like telling him to get clean by September won't work. He needs to want to do this for himself. My only suggestion would be that you might encourage him to read some of the posts on this site. Specially the success stories. A little inspiration might at least make him begin to think.
Meantime, you've got so much going on that of course your brain can't handle it. I'm sre this situation, that's been going on so long has damaged your confidence, motivation and self esteem. If you can afford it, you could go back to your doctor and ask him to refer you to a counsellor. You need to begin tackling all the conflicting emotions in your mind.
As the others say, you must put yourself and your children first just now.
Once you've had a chance to mull over all that the other posters have advised, come back online, and we'll be more than happy to answer any questions that we can, or just listen to you if that is what you want.
Thinking of you.
Take care
Get to an ALAnon meetings, they will help you and show you a good way to get through this.
Wow, you are going through alot of stuff right now. The best thing for you is to concentrate in you and your kids. I nkow that is esier said than done. But from personal exsperience i di better when my family backed off from always bailing me out of situations. They told me they would always be there for me but would no longer enable me and my addiction. I am not saying that is what you are doing. But you should distance yourself safely from all of them. Your children need to see that you do not approve of any of the behavior your family is showing. Let them all know you are there for them but will no longer put up with their drug habits. Just do the best thing for you and your kids. Your family will see that you mean bussiness when you do this. I wish you and everyone in your life the best of luck.And just know you can always come here for support and advise.
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