I hate withdrawal

[Eveleivibe]

Getting the runs, don't feel motivated, don't want to eat but feel hungry, got a creepy feeling in my skin especially legs, feel period pain type feeling, yawn, sneezing  n suicidal thoughts. Oh n tossed n turned most of the night feeling as restless as anything.
And this is sticking to the 15 x 4 taper. God know what this would be like with Zno Codeine.

On the up side i phoned the prescribed medications support service n they said they wont take my child they just want to help me, that i need to be open n honest n they'll ask the lady whos seeing me to call me this morning sometime.

Evey x

[laurel453]

she has  realized that she is an immature self centred b**** ( her words) which i agreed with her and  this is a first step to start making changes...

[castaway1]

Your three posts that got everyone "annoyed" at you were all deleted, thankfully. Perhaps you can think about what you said in those posts and realize why the people who tried to help you were "annoyed"? Perhaps your posting while drinking wine and doing codeine is part of the problem as well (do you really consider that "sticking to your taper")?

[laurel453]

for once i agree with you , eve..

now, try to keep yourself busy, the more you think about the doc, the harder ....i know it is not easy at all but what's your alternative? tormenting yourself ? break these thoughts by trying to keep busy and good luck tomorrow !!

[Eveleivibe]

What do you mean help others at my expense? Its me taking it not them n i am sticking to the taper so why are you all annoyed at me? I'm doing what I'm meant to do x

[Eveleivibe]

Im trying you know. You're all right. Im an immature self centred b***.
I'm truly sorry for the disrespectful things I've said. They're having a meeting 2moro to discuss whether i can have their service or not n if so, what treatment. Of course i don't want to lose my parents - just want them to back off a bit but when i try saying this they get hurt, shout or don't speak to me.
Yea i feel shame n guilt over all of this.

All ive thought about today was codeine, how to get it, where to get it n its tormenting me.

Evey x

[weaver71]

Sarah will get over it, she's working her recovery. Will you? How many sources of guilt and shame do you want to unravel? If you lose your manners with strangers trying to help, how often is your family the victim of your lack of self-control? Self-centeredness is a symptom of addiction, often not seen by the addict. Who do you want to take the codeine for? Does it help your kid, parents, work, or who? Do you think it's okay to help yourself at other's expense? Doubt you will respond to this, but I hope you think about it.