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I have a really bad cocaine problem
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I have a really bad cocaine problem

OK, so here goes.

I've been abusing cocaine for years now. It started with just minor dabbles in high school, and then evolved into major weekend binges and party nights with friends throughout college and my early 20's. Now, I am in my late 20's and I have been abusing it at least once--but usually more--a week, for a very long time.

I know that I need to quit but it's really hard when many of your loved ones (including roommate, siblings, friends, girlfriends) are also addicted to it. I feel as if I'm trapped in my situation and no matter how much I'd like to quit, somebody is always bound to produce a bag of it, offer me a line, or suggest that we pick some up. Also, I don't have the insurance or the money to just head over to a rehab clinic for a week or more.

The reason why I've become very concerned is because of the condition of my nose. One of my nostrils would always bleed if I ever took a line with it. The opposite nostril was practically invincible and never seriously bled even after days of binging. You may think this sounds crazy--and it is--but I've been abusing cocaine for over 10 years using the one nostril over and over to take all of my lines.  

It's no surprise that I have a hole between the walls of my nostril that is the size of a nickel. Up until recently, I've just ignored the pain and recuperation of any nasal issues, like the bloody boogers that form after a binge. But a few days ago, my nasal passage seemed to be clogged indefeinitely. On the outside, my face still looks fine, but I've had major problems inhaling properly using my nose for the past 4-5 days. I've stopped doing it ever since it happened. I'm really afraid that I've cause some serious permanent damage to my nose.
Does anyone have any tips, related stories, or advice? (other than 'go see a doctor' or 'stop doing it')
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20 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_n_tn
If anybody has any referral numbers, hot-lines, doctors or clinics they'd like to recommend, I am in the New York City area. Thanks everyone in advance.
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Avatar_n_tn
Damn, I'm so sorry.  And I don't really know anything about that.  Sorry I am of no help, I just wanted to tell ya that I'm sure if you look up coke addiction, something will pop up and wanted to tell you good luck.  I'm here for ya if you need someone to talk to :) I'm going through a pill addiction and it's the damn pits!!! Take care and praying for ya, Lil.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you. Very kind of you. Good-luck battling pill-addiction. In a way, I've become dependent on downer pills myself, usually only to suppress crashes-after-coke-binges.
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Avatar_n_tn
You are very welcome!!  This forum and everyone on here is great.  Without them, I don't think I would be here today.  You should wait and see what alot of the people post back to ya, I'm sure there is someone that has some advice on this subject.  Have a good nite and I'll be praying for ya!!  Take care, Lil.
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Avatar_n_tn
My nose is still FKED up. Deviated septum, hole in nose as well. Used it to (How Ingenious of Me) get off Hydro, OPPS didnt work, had to go cold turkey. I was using Cocaine for about 3 months straight, and i used all the nasal flushes, sprays, ect, fken  disgusting in retrospect, lost myself, went to Doc off the record had, Ryno, sino titus, blablabla, he told me stay off the chit. So i did, man it was SOO painful for the nose after a while, but then would take some pain pills, yea, What a Losser I was.....Drugs, and she'e a *****! You will not really go thru any major W/D w/ the White, just a couple of off days is all. A mind thing, google it. Well here in Miami it's a very common occurance, Hense the term, "This city was built by the Cocaine Cowboys", It;s true.
Anyhoot: study, forget the social life for a bit as you go into cognito. Say no to that chit, have a drink, hold it, nurse it,  don't have to drink it, whatever I know you are studying, drinking, partying, It;s cool; to say, " No thaks, that ***** is a killer!"  

concentrte on tour education, thats your ticket!

Late

Choo
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Avatar_n_tn
As Scarface would say, " Take it Easy"  with the accent, of coarse

Choo
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Avatar_n_tn
Haha thanks for your honest advice. I wish it were that easy for me to say "no". If it were just a few clubs or friends that I had to avoid to escape the scene, I'd really give my best efforts. Presently, I'm surrounded by this "chit" all around me at home, at my girlfriends home, with friends or even (occasionally) at work with some very secretive co-workers. It's become almost a non-issue to even argue if I'll be in the vicinity of another round of binging. This is why I've turned here.. maybe just soul-searching or just trying to garner some earnest support.

I've only just joined this website about an hour ago and I'm really surprised about the support I've already gotten this late at night. Thanks everyone.
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Avatar_n_tn
I ain't telling you what to do, but shooting you ideas. Do Some Soul Searching!
Look at your life, your goals and think what they are and surround yourself with the people that will get you there, selfish, but sometimes in life you have to be! You know what you have to do,and know how to get there, just have a struggle with really growing up, as I do. I still want the "life",  clubs, adrenaline rush, ect. You seem like a very intelligent person, and you know you have the answers, just want to affirm them.

So, don't beat yourself up, move on to greener pastures, protect your interests and become obsessed and "The World is Yours"

Just a blip in the grand scheme of things!

Good Luck, You can DO IT!

Choo
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Avatar_n_tn
Say it with me, " That BIOTCH is A KILLER, No THANKS", LOL  

I'll have a RED BULL and Vodca please! ROCKS with a twist of lime

Late

Choo
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Avatar_n_tn
loose the friends then you will lose the drug sorry there is no other way.  The don't want to see you clean if their using believe me.
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Avatar_n_tn
Last word,

Not saying out of the fire into the frying pan, don't leave that on me, as i said, "just shooting ideas" Sex is good too, also golf,...Whack the chit out of the ball, you get the idea!

Late

Choo
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Avatar_f_tn
go to your local welfare office and apply for insurance through them once on they will pay for everything rehab outpatient halfway house etc.if you really want to quit it will be the hardest thing to do but you have to leave everyone in your life and save your own start new and fresh i know this is hard i recently did this from an opiate addiction its lonely but im meeting new people last week i dreamt about my user friend of 19 years almost every night but still i havent called her its whats best for me .i wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery:)
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Avatar_n_tn
i feel for you, i;ve been there, after my husband and i split up i went back to being a teeanger so to say, it started on weekends like you, a few yrs later, BAM its everywhere!!!!! even ehwn my b/f and i would say "not this week" someone would come over w/ some. we couldnt get away from it, irt was everywhere we went, including work. so i can understand your situation. i was abusing pain pills to, hell when your up all night and have to go to work, a few hydros get you thru the day, very selfdestructive behavior.  for "us" it took my younger brother graduating to crack and bringing to our home that made us WAKE UP....i watched him lose EVERYTHING!!!!! job, house, hell last time i went to his house, it was empty cause he pawned all of his **** (even his dvd movies for $1 each) i held it together for yrs on coke, but watching him on crack was a wake up call. i too have a hole the size of a nickel, last winter i was in the ER 3 times w/ a horrific sinus infection, and as soon as it cleared up, i went right back to that ****. even though every time i did a line, i payed all night w/ severe sinus pain.
my point is that i know where you are right now, we moved, out of state. left EVERHTING behind, including m,y children. they are w/ their dad but will move here this summer. it was the HARDEST thing i have ever done. but thr only way for us to "get away" from it cause it was in every facet of our lives.
today its been 4 months since i've touched that ****, and am working on my pill addiction, which is my primary problem. we go to bed every night at 9pm and are up at 6am. we are finally living a healthy live. sometimes you have to "walk away" from everything to succeed. but i will tell you its hard to do, but better than slowly killing yourself w/ that ****. cause thats what your doing. my sinuses will never by healed. but they'll never have anything go up them again.
good luck and please let me know how your doing...
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186166_tn?1385262982
don't waste your time on a week long rehab...don't think it will do you any good.  you will not go through physical w/d's from cocaine.

you will NEVER be able to kick this addiction without changing your surroundings...and if that means moving...getting a NEW g/f...changing friends...whatever...then that is what you have got to do.  if cocaine is your life...and is all around you...then change your life.

#1  desire
#2  committment
#3  change surroundings
#4  join a/a - n/a or any support group or 12 step program

let's see just how bad you want to stop...let us know what you are going to do to make this happen...

good luck,
kim
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Avatar_n_tn
great advise!!!! thats what we did, and your right there are no physical w/d's from it. it is very mental and its almost IMPOSSIBLE to say NO, when its put under your nose, literaly. god, i wish my brother would take this advise, he's losing his life to crack and i worry so much. but he's back home 1300 miles away, and his little girl is in such turmoil. its soo sad. i dont even know him anymore, and he was so successful with his job and life before he found crack, he lies and steals and is killing himself. they do like $500 a night of that ****. i wait for a phone call, with bad news. i hoped me changing my life style would help him wake up, but as of yet he's in denial, thinks he's in control.

luv ya girl
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186166_tn?1385262982
good morning girlie...

my son, davis, became addicted to crack too.  found it was alot cheaper than the coc.  this addiction nearly destroyed his life...and ours too.  it is amazing how this drug turned him into someone that i no longer knew...or even wanted to know.

all the rehabs, probations, jails, court appearances, and the threat of long term prison sentence (he was facing 15 years at just 18 years old) could stop this addiction.  that is until 'HE" decided he had had enough.  that is when things began to change.  when he came to us and asked for long term residential treatment, we knew that he meant business this time.  he gave up his "life" so to speak...left everything and everyone...friends, family, and his lifestyle...got on that plane and never looked back!  he was fortunate that the court system went along with this and that we could afford to do this for him.  he spent almost 14 months there and i not only got my son back...i got a new and improved young man!

sorry about your brother...crack is hell...i know from the "other end".

huggs,
kim
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Avatar_n_tn
ya my brother is no longer "my brother" i dont know who he is. it really breaks my heart. i tried to help him while i was there, but soon realized i was only enabling him. i tried to IM you but you werent signed in???
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Avatar_n_tn
Sad,

Welcome!

LIZZIELOU has the most sound advice for you here.

If you want to prolong getting a new life, like I have--10 years of misery trying to stop (opiates mostly,) without help--then blow off her advice.

If you're lucky you'll survive long enough to lose several jobs, become unemployable,  chalk up some jailtime, ruin every relationship you got left, and lose every material item you got left, only to straggle back to the simple advice she's given you here.

Best of Luck to you,

--Athena
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Avatar_n_tn
Haha. "That BIOTCH is A KILLER, No THANKS"

Great... I can see myself slowly moving from this addiction to an entirely new one--alcohol. Although presenting a whole new package of issues, it might actually have a great effect on this ripped-apart nose of mine.

Thanks for your straight-forward and humorous tips.
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371592_tn?1198786467
Miami.. but seriously, I need to stop hanging out with this white *itch. Help
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