I must confess

[cynicalslave]

So lately I've been feeling pretty crumby. I went to the doctor and discovered that I have a sinus infection and bronchitis. Naturally, he prescribed cough syrup that contained codeine. I was a little hesitant at first but I easily justified taking some because I've been pretty miserable the last couple days. Now codeine has never really gotten me high(unless taken in massive doses)but I still feel a little guilty. Codeine's antitussive properties are great, but it's a narcotic all the same. So I have consumed narcotics. Up until yesterday, I was two months clean. I wonder: should I start counting again when I'm done taking the cough syrup? I am sort of kicking my own *** over this. I'm generally too hard on myself, which is what I think fuels the cycle of abuse so much. In the past I would screw up and think: "Well, **** it I already used so it's too late to never use again so I might as well just use." I'm determined not start using again, so I'm cutting myself some slack and trying to stray from that flawed logic that non-addicts just don't seem to understand. Well thanks for reading(I needed to get that off my chest), any input is appreciated.

[Reverie]

heyyy congrats on the cat!!!
and i hope you feel better:)
Im glad your doing well with being clean, i look up to you for that.
take care,

Emilie

[cynicalslave]

Thanks for the input everyone. Yeah, last night I took a couple extra teaspoons, but it really doesn't do anything to make me feel like "ooh I want to do that again!" I weigh like 215 lbs and codeine is pretty weak as it is. But I did abuse it a little, so I don't know. I'm not too worried about relapsing because I've cut my ties with that sort of thing and I just don't have the intent to begin that lifestyle again. It's tricky cuz even in the hospital(when I had my appendix removed)the doc. started me on twice the normal dose of pain-meds. The sad thing is, if it was something stronger I know I would've abused the hell out of it. It's just depressing when you're reminded of what you are. But I'm not depressed, because I'm adopting a cat!!!!!!Ha Ha Ha thanks everyone. I'll be careful.  

[Sunnyd210]

I wouldnt restart ur clean time I would just take refusing's advice. If you start feeling like u are out of control flush the bottle. I personally wouldnt play with fire but thats just me. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon.

[scaredmom330]

I agree with all the above post...you are still clean, take the cough medicine as need, as directed and you will be ok...think positive...take care my friend and feel better soon.

[frustrated431]

i dont think you need to start your clean time over again. as long as you are taking it the way it is directed then you are not abusing it, therefore i personally believe you are still clean. keep up the good work and dont beat yourself up over it. please keep us posted and if you feel like your going to relapse from it PLEASE talk to someone it can save your life and your well earned clean time. GOODLUCK

[refusingbondage]

I just want to say be careful! I found myself in the SAME situation back in the middle of December - Bronchitis, got some cough syrup with codeine and I took it.  Started thinking the same way you stated above and It led to a few weekends of pill popping .. I am not blaming the cough syrup but it all started with that codeine.. the negative thinking, addict thinking.. etc.. Happily back on the wagon now - but I just thought I would give some caution.  You seem fine though.. your thinking and talking about it and you already know to be careful... Stay positive and keep clean!

[dominosarah]

I wouldnt start my clean time over either.....You are sick and bronchitis is nasty......Hope you feel better soon.......sara

[10356]

I see no reason why you would have to start your clean time again.. We all are going to need something sometime.. Are you abusing.. are you taking although you are better.. are you getting high.. is it all you can think about.. If no then do not beat yourself up.. I know I had bronchitis once and that syrup was the only thing that helped to stiffel the cough.. Hope you are feeling better soon.. sinus infections with a cough suck..... Tale care lesa