I need HELP :(

Hi all
I'm new to this site, but i've read a lot of older posts questions ect...I am addicted to panafen plus (exactly the same as nurofen plus) 200mg IBUPROFEN & 12.8mg CODEINE PHOSPHATE. Over the last 4 years i've gone from normal use to approx 60-70 tablets a day...OUCH that's so dam embarrassing & shameful to even see that i've just typed that...
i've had a few good phases where i've tapered down (never got any lower than 8 tabs a day) had some awful withdrawal symptoms but they didnt last too long....i'd feel alive again....& then my knee, the original reason for starting them in the first place, would give me hell....& there i am....popping them like lollies again within a few weeks.

My question is this....how bad are the withdrawal symptoms if i just stop cold turkey?? i need to know from someone who has gone from the same daily dose as me to nothing overnite...actually i feel so alone at the moment, i would appreciate anything from anyone really.... i'm a single mum with a 6 year old daughter & a 17 year old intellectually disabled son. i am also blessed with my 20 year old daughter who wants to help but honestly she works fulltime, has a boyfriend, has a life lol & i don't want to lean on her too much....she's gone from 6 in the morning til 7 at nite anyway. Please someone....I don't want to die....i want to stop & still look after my kids.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  You wont be alone here as there is a ton of support.  You are on a high dose by the sounds of it.  I would really recommend tapering down some and then going cold turkey.  Tapering takes a ton of strength but you have done it before.  Look in the health pages and read the amino acid protocol.  We need some healthy supplements in our bodies due to the abuse.  You can get your life back and it is going to take alot of work but it is all worth it in the end.  It is normally slow at this hour as most are in bed so keep checking back as it gets busy in the morning.  We are here for you and will support you so lean on us okay?  glad you found this site.......sara

[hydrofoiled]

WELCOME TO THE WAY BACK!! DOMINOS RIGHT -AMINO ACID PROTOCOL.STUDY WHAT SUPPLEMENTS ARE FOR AND WHAT THEY DO...THE WANTING TO STOP VOICE IS THE NON-ADDICTED PERSON YOU USED TO BE CALLING YOU BACK...ITS THE MATCH THAT WILL START THE FIRE IN YOUR HEART TO START THE SHORT  ONSLAUGHT TO FREEDOM..2 TO 3 WEEKS OF DETOX IS SHORTER THAN 2,3,4, MORE YEARS OF ADDICTION !! REAL EASY MATH.THE GIFT OF FATHER TIME IS YOUR ALLI...GIVE YOUR BODY TIME..YOUR REWARD WILL BE THE REAL YOU BACK AGAIN...STAY CALM!! (QUOTE JOHN LENNONS #9 DREAM- I THOUGHT I COULD FEEL!!....(WHEN I WAS ABUSEING) KEEP POSTING.WE BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!

[pharma9]

All that ibuprofen is going to wreck your stomach and kidneys.You have to stop taking so much before you have a bleeding ulcer or your kidneys fail.Read the Thomas recipe and vitamins on the right of this page.Cut down your use immediately before any harm is done.Drink lots of fluids so the kidneys are well hydrated.I am a bit hesitant to suggest even tylenol at this time because your kidneys are probably stressed.Boy...you gotta stop girl....keep posting.

[Leee70]

First of all, thank you for your comments/opinions, your support is much appreciated. Well, last nite i didn't take any pain killers at all & i slept quite well, better than i had expected.
It is 9.45am in Australia at the moment & I managed to get up & get my kids off to school & do a little grocery shopping even, & i have still not taken any pills. I'm not kidding myself though...I know the first day is usually the easiest!
I have decided to take the tapering down way for now...I will however keep going about my day until I can go no longer & i will take HALF of what i would normally take & then i'm going to take each hour as it comes after that.
Thanx Again guys I will keep you posted....Lee :)

[Leee70]

is there any one out there? i'm in australia & the time difference is a problem i'm awake when you guys are all asleep lol
well, it's now 3.25pm & i took half the painkillers i would normally take (in one go) & i feel just normal mentally, physically i'm limping around...all the aches & pains are there but dull sort of if you know what i mean? like they're looming waiting to come on really strong & unbearable. I'll be ready for them though....
Lee.

[vicki595]

Lee~  It's 9:40 pm here (Monday)...Glad to hear you're tappering down from that toxic amount.   Hang on and keep posting as much as you can.  Even if the forum seems slow at times,it's just good to get those words out...

Best of luck and speak to you soon~

Vicki

[Leee70]

thank you sooo much vicki, i'm in tears rite now, can't exactly say why, probably just your kind words...i can be such a sook sumtimes!!

Lee

[vicki595]

Hey Sweetie...we've all been there and crying is good;very cleansing. You may find you do a lot of it!  Don't worry...stay positive. You're doing a great thing for yourself here.   Now...you make yourself a bit of supper...I'll be saying Good Night for now...

Speak to you soon~

Vicki   xo

[MistBrown]

You doing the hardest thing you have probably ever done!! Just take it one day at a time, and everyday wake up with hope. Be it something small at first, but that will lead the way for you! You will feel better, you will. Just take your vitamins, drink some green teas, and get your body back. I thought I was participating in life all along with my pill addiction, but I wasn't. I was just acting a part, and I've missed a whole lot of things, so get out there and start living life without that crutch! Keep us posted, were here! Carpe Diem

Misty

[Leee70]

Im proud to say that i the last 48 hours I have consumed only around 35 tabs which is a quarter of what i would have normally taken & even though i feel like crawling into bed & sleeping (i can't!) i feel a sense of strength & positivity flowing thru me....I'm still just taking each hour as it comes.....

[dominosarah]

Way to go on tapering down!!!  You may feel achy for a bit and that is common.  Take hot baths or showers.  Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids.  Stay positive like you are and keep posting.  Your doing a really good thing here........sara

[Leee70]

Thank U Sarah! I've been drinking loads of water & i've not mentoned it b4 but i actully take a LOTT of vitamins.
I have them all ready (15 days worth) in on of my daughters bead boxes with the little compartments lol...i take a handful after brekky every morning & they are....fish oil, glucosamine, calcium, vit D, vit C, vit B complex, a multi vitamin, celery & juniper tabs & a herbal PMS one that has lotts of good stuff in it....even on really bad days they are the one thing i've never let slide. I think they're sparing a little from feeling worse also. But, like I said one hour at a time....I've only taken 6 tabs since i got up this morning!!!!
I've got music on & cooking dinner (it's 6.10pm wed nite here at the mo) i'm limping& feeling my knee but i feel better than i did when i was alone earlier when my kids were at school i just wanted to sleep. So in approx 54 hours i have only taken 41 tabs!!! i'm am aiming to try & get thru 2nite with no tabs. I had a terrible restless nite last nite so i'm hoping it's all caught up with me & i'll pass out...lol one hour at a time!!!

[dominosarah]

Sleep is an issue when coming off pills so just know that this is normal and will get better.  Many of us found our pain actually got better once we stopped.  Your mind may tell you something else for awhile.  You sound good and strong.  Keep taking those supplements.  Our bodies need something healthy in it.  The more you can stay up and keep moving the better.  I am proud of you girl!!!           sara

[Leee70]

Good Morning all...it is 8.20am in aussie rite now. So i almost made it thru the nite...i got to 5.00am & i got up 2 go to the toilet & i could barely walk, my whole body but especially my knee. i took 5 tabs (pretty good compared to my usual dozen or so).
To be completly honest if i didn't have to get up a few hours later 4 my kids, i would have just crawled back into bed & gone back to sleep despite the pain, i was tired enough.
SO that means in 24 hours i have only taken 11 TABS!!!!! I am hobbling around like an old woman but its ok i'll just move slower!! i am thankful for just pain & no anxiety or depressing thoughts yet....PAIN i can handle ten times better than the **** that goes thru my head sumtimes....i'm going to take my little one to school soon & then i'm gonna come home & soak in the bath for as long as i want!!!! love to you all  xo

[Leee70]

It's 4.00pm & i have taken only another 5 tabs today & that was so i could pick up my daughter from school or i would have just made myself suffer....that's not to say that i'm not suffering trust me my body is screaming at me...i feel 80 years old rite now. But mentally i'm doing fine & as i said b4 that is more important to me....i am so determined & not only that, i've noticed i'm actually looking forward to things that normally i'd be dreading like my 40th in june....sons 18th in sept....my daughters 21st in november AND my little one turns 6 in a few weeks & she wants to have a party here....i'm looking forward to it all as a clean straight mum....   :)  

[dominosarah]

You are sounding so positive!!!  There will be some bad days in here too so dont get down.  Keep looking at the prize and that is you living clean and free~~~~Proud of you   sara

[MistBrown]

Doing good today? Just checking.

[Leee70]

Doing ok thanx....feel like crap but still strong in the head thank goodness  :)

[dominosarah]

You will feel like crap body wise just keep the mind strong like you are doing.  Keep it going........Let us know how you are doing...sara

[Leee70]

It's 8.20 fri nite here in oz, and i am very proud to report that i have taken only 15 tabs  today...feeling very irritated, my kids are being SO good though god love 'em....i really did not think i would have been able to cut down to ....what.....20% of my daily intake in 5 days & still look after my kids....i am only just barely doing it at the mo but they're good. My house looks like a bomb has hit it but i could give a ratts **** about that rite now!!
the restlessness in my legs is driving me nutts but ive been massaging them....the same 'restless' type pain that kills my legs i'm feeling in my lower back as well...i just want some1 to grab both feet & another to grab my arms & just stretch me in opposite directions!!!!!
I've just taken some herbal sleep aids & i'm having a cup of chammomile tea...goodnite all :)

[Leee70]

Good morning all (9.20am in oz).....had an awful nite....my legs!!!! And...i can't believe how awake i was! i was so tired but i just couldn't sleep....i have read that tons of times from others in the same struggle so expected it just didn't think i would be THAT awake.
I feel like a zombie rite now & wishing my house didn't have stairs!!!! hate stairs!!!!
I have taken 5 painkillers this morning....i just want to STOP at this point the way i feel i mite as well be going cold turkey but i have no-one to look after my kids....very frustrating!

[Cheesburger79]

  Hey Lee.
    10:30 in Australia and 7 pm in Detroit MI, USA. Just wanted to say hi and let ya know theres another gal across the globe doing the exact same thing, and feelin like a sloth. I cut down from 15 painkillers Saturday and I'm on 8 today. I did a 6 pill drop in one day and felt like utter hell for two days-but-it got the ball rolling.
   I'm scheduling my taper now, one pill less every two or three days depending how I feel, and I too, am pumping my body full of vitamans, teas and all sorts of good stuff. I can't really eat though. I make myself have something when the dizzyness hits-no good, I know, But I'm drinking lots of fruit smoothies and protein shakes to keep my blood sugar somewhat up.
   Other than the eating and a vauge flu-ish feeling that really doesn't go away, I'm doing ok though. The slower taper seems to be the way for me to get clean, and I'm so glad were BOTH going for this! I have no kids, but if I keep this up I'll also have no money, health or quality of life-and I'm so thankful that reality finally slapped me in the face!
   No pinic, is it, my aussie friend? But, not that I'd wish this on anyone--isn't it good to know that folks of all walks of life and backgrounds around the world are in this fight and BEATING it with you and I? I take comfort in the fact that theres people who understand, so I just wanted to say hello, and congradulate you on what your doing!
   It sounds like you have a lovely family! What a great reason to kick this crap!
Signing out, and wishing you all the best for a bright future. Were in this together, Lee.
    Lots of Love from the Motor City, Lori

[Leee70]

Hey Lori, thanx so much for your words of encouragement even though you are feeling like **** also.....you made my day actually!
i'm trying to clean my house it's just not happening, i have no strength & then when i sit down my legs start going into spasms.....
You mentioned no kids....are you working & if so how the heck are you dealing with that you poor thing!? i have not started 'scheduling' my taper i'm a bit all over the place i'm just trying to make sure that i have less tabs (even just one less) as each day goes by.
I am suffering i guess because i did cut down by a drastic amount kinda strate away. i've gone from 896mg of codeine a day to 192mg & still reducing....I don't think my body is missing all that ibprofen though..... ugh freakin toxic
You are so right....there are a hell of a lot of people in the same boat as us.....it's alarming how many....thank god for this forum....i have gained a lot of strength from the encouragement & kind words from past & present users....i hope i can be of some kind of support to others in the near future....i'm still trying to figure out my own ways of staying focused....my heads in a cloud....hope this message finds you feeling well mate...talk soon :)

[dominosarah]

Lee you are a support for many of us here.  We all learn something from everyone on this forum.  Coming here being honest is the best quality you can have and that is what you have been.  You are on a fast taper so your emotions will be all over the place.  Keep posting like you have been.  You are doing great.........sara

[worried878]

I am thinking codeine is OTC in Australia??? In canada they mix tyhe otc codeine with tylenol to curb this high use///but doesnt always work...but even with this amount of ibuprofen...just not good at all!
I do know chronic pain...unfortunately I also know addiction as well...sometimes when when one starts taking 60-70 pills a day//it is not really about pain anymore...it is about addiction..and like u many will reach out as their disease of addiction is staring them in the face///and can not be ignored any longer
Ur DOC is not strong..codeine is way down the list in strength//but ur dose is very high///popping multiple pills/handfuls/ is ur habit each day..so this is hard to break//a habit is always hard to break...a prescription dose of tylenol/codeine here is 60 mgs of codeine in each pill....still..divides by 60 that would be be over 10 prescription pills here...but in reality..even tho u r taking 60 - 70 pills a day//ur true narcotic dose is very equal to mine at 100 mgs of hydro//or 10 pills a day
So this u can do....lots here have done way more..the health pages, including the thomas recipe, are full of great info
seeking support is crucial to recovery...keep posting....all hours of the night someone is here cos folks from all countries post here///addicts r not alone as they r everywhere//may be slow late at night///but when peeps can they will support u

keep postingt

[Leee70]

Codeine is very definately over the counter in OZ....There are two chemists rite by my house that sell a pack of 75 tabs for $10.00!!! They range anywhere form $10 to $16 a pack i unfortunately live near 2 discount chemists :(
That made it easy to maintain my habit.... i may feel like crap but i can honetly tell you rite now that i am NEVER going back....i have too much to lose.
Thanx for the support all :)

Leanne :)

[Leee70]

Thank you Sara, that means a lott xxx

[Cheesburger79]

  Good afternoon(night where you are-it's high noon in Detroit.), thanks for your response! I'm very glad to have made your day!
  Gah-codeine is over the counter where you live?! Sheesh, just keep going girl! Your doin great!
   I'm still on 8 today, and my body has adjusted to it (sortof-the brain is another story)after the dramatic drop in the beginning(just like you did) and tommorow I go to 7. No doubt I'll have that flu again a bit, but it's so worth it!
   I'm a beauty school student, but I honestly fell apart when my addiction got bad-I let so many things fall by the wayside...you know how you live in a fog on that stuff- I at least got terribly irresponsible. The saddest thing I guess for me is that the trigger for my first bout of problems with opiates was losing my dad to a sudden heart attack when I was 27. Then a couple months later my engagement fell apart(largely due to my ex fiances addictions)--so one of the things I'm really mad at myself about is that I've partially funded this awful habit with my dad's hard earned money-my interitance...that alone, when you take away everything else makes me feel like such a terrible person to have let this happen...so, in answer to your question, no, I'm not working right now, I'm off until I get well. And I also know that even though life can beat the **** out of you, it's no excuse to get addicted to drugs.
   I have alot of things to forgive myself for, and I'm working on that, like so many others. But I'm gettin there! My Dad was no angel himself, but he sure wouldn't want this for me-but I had to not want this for me, and now I have my head on straight after a very long time.
   And so, through all this nasty bussiness, the sickness and the stress of beating this thing, I just take heart in knowing I'm finally on the right track. I can still have a bright future if I get out NOW. So, Lee, thats my story-not so different than anyone elses, like I said were all in this together.
   Once this is over, I have ALOT of catching up to do in life!! But hey, I'm workin on that. And so are you!!
   So, don't sweat the small stuff. The chores will still be there-take care of YOU right now, and keep on truckin!
   Lotsa Love and we'll talk again soon! Lori

[fuzzypeach27]

Fuzzy here back on line again folks, sorry about that, Hi leee70. I was taking thirty of codeine phospoarate 30mg of codeine and 500mg paracetamol. I went cold turkey a month and a bit ago. Well done you for talking and admitting you have a problem. That was the big thing for me. Withdraws I believe depend on you, they are personnel. Systems and length of abuse and your ability for your body to recover. It took me a week for the physical and then when my wee monster realised it couldn't get it kicking the crap out of my body then it did a number on my mind. But Leee70 its not that bad, Its funny cos even though you sweat and all that you feel better. Every day, every minute, every hour, every second. you feel better. Its not impossible And would recommend it to any one.I was mixing the codeine with energy shots and red bull for extra buzz, or separating the codeine or partially melting it before i swallowed it. I was high as a kite every day for 3 years. What ever your decision make sure its for you, and you only. Keep posting

[dominosarah]

Nice to see you back fuzzypeach!!!

[kateashamed]

Hey Lee - I've been reading journey and your tapering down and my heart goes out to you girl. I'm also addicted to Panafen Plus and I live here in Australia, Adelaide. It's been almost 4 years and at the moment I'm taking about 18-30 a day. I also buy packs of 75 and I'm lucky if they last 3 days. It's 4.30am and I've been awake since 2am which is becoming a normal thing since I've been trying to taper down. I'm trying to take only 2 at a time and spacing them out for as long as possible. I took 16 yesterday and because of this 2am waking every morning I took 2 then another 2 at 4am. I feel like I've stuffed today up already! I'm planning my cold turkey and reading about other peoples plights on this site and I'm hoping this will help with a strategy.  I've got a diary; taking notes on what I should arm myself with so that when I go C/T like vitamins, valerian for help with insomnia and I'll even stock up with bananas coz they're easy to eat and full of good things. I've got a weeks leave in early April and I'm actually looking forward to getting off these things. I'm 45 so my kids are adults and they know about my problem. I feel bad that you are doing this while having to care for your little one. Does your family or is there anyone else who could help you through this process? I'm so glad that i found this site and I will keep posting here while I go through this process because i can see there are alot of really nice, caring people out there to help me through and I hope that I can be of some help to someone else. Take it easy everyone! KateX

[dominosarah]

How are you feeling today Lee?

[Leee70]

Hey all

5.45pm sunday nite here in oz & i am feeling ok. My body has gotten used to 15 tabs a day (it's been 3 days) i havent tapered below the 15 a day this weekend because my kids needed me to not be laid up on the coach all weekend....during the week when they are at school is ok to feel like that because i trudge around all day& make sure when they get home almost everything is done...tomorrow i am attempting to drop to 12 tabs in the one day will let you know how i go....
thanks guys i appreciate each & every one of you
Lee xxxx

[dominosarah]

Keep it going.  I am proud of you!!  will chat tomorrow night......gotta take care of my sick beagle tonight.......sara

[cleanmom]

It sounds like you are trying so hard and I am finding great strength and inspiration from so many on this site, keep it up and take it easy on yourself, i have a feeling this is a long hard road. I am cold turkey on day three now with two kids at home here with me and cant get myself any energy. I cant believe you can buy that stuff OTC over there, i would be so screwed if it was OTC here, LOL, but i see lots of strength in you, keep strong, God Bless, Jacky

[jt808]

ok well i never heard of taking those like that as dumb as it sounds if ur gona actually quit great be strong an really go for it, BUT if u dont u cannot keep eating that amount daily as i would NEVER say this but ur in a diff instance if u dont actually quit u need to switch to a diff pill one that wont have to take 70/80 a day belive me that is alot an i use to take alot as well but trust me i wouldnt just give that advice to just anyone but if ur not gona quit which i hiope u do but if not u really need to switch to somethn that will take ur pain away without having to take all those pills a day. good luck

[dominosarah]

Where are you tonight?

[Leee70]

I'm here (9.15pm mon) lol and doing really well.
As luck would have it i got a call last nite from an old friend i did sum cooking & cleaning for last year & he wants me to start working 4 him again 2-3 days a week AND i started today!!!! SO need the extra cash...felt like crap but i did it...it was good to be moving it really helped because my legs are still giving me grief. I'm exhausted now! I don't go back until wednesday but i've decided tomorrow I'm gonna go for a really long walk while the kids are at school...have survived today on only 8 tabs....going to bed soon hopefully i can get thru the nite with none....wish me luck xo
PS- I hope your beagle is ok!?

[dominosarah]

That is great that you are back working some now.  That will make you feel better both physically and mentally.  You are doing so great with your taper.  I remember your first post and look at you now......amazing!!  I am really proud of you girl........sara

[dominosarah]

I meant to say reading this post from the beginning to now how far you have come.  Not enuff coffee yet this morning!!!

The beagle is feeling somewhat better.  She is elderly and just wearing out.  All i can do is just love her up and continue to spoil her rotten. I have been blessed to have her in my life~~~~~sara

[Leee70]

Morning all 8.15am Tues at the mo....WELL i did not make it thru the nite as i had hoped....i needed pain relief.....BUT what i want everyone to understand (i especially need 2 keep reminding MYSELF) is that i need to function to look after my children, i  mean I have an intellectually disabled teenager & a 6 year old & it is literally like having TWO 6 year olds to care for....i need to sleep and i need to get aound otherwise i would have just kicked it cold turkey & dealt with the pain got it over with.
SORRY.
Im just feling very teary because i couldn't get thru the nite & i went a little over my 15 tabs for the 24 hours....BUT i know, i know.... just 10 days ago i was goin thru a 75 pack a day & feelin helpless.....scared i wouldn't reach my 40th birthday....
Must go get the kids off to school...hope everyone has a good day...& goodluck to everyone who reads this that is going thru similar experiences to me.........xo

[Leee70]

It's 10.40pm tues nite....had a good day, have only taken 14 tabs today but i'm scared because i want to go to bed but i'm so awake....i'm feeling really anxious....i have a friend i'm very close to.... we tell each other everything.....but that friend is treating me like i'm a drama queen with this situation.....can't understand why i don't just stop!?! when i try to explain what i'm going thru...i feel like a drama queen....i need to stay focused....i'm so lucky to have my daughter though (the eldest, shes 20) she is a pure gem, she has NO idea what this feels like but she is so supportive & loving.....she is beautiful...talk about unconditional love. OK i am crying again.....been doin that off & on all day....gonna try to sleep now....
Love to you all      Leanne     xxx

[dominosarah]

Your not a drama queen....Keep doing what you are doing. Your daughter sounds wonderful...........talk to you tonight!!!           sara

[Leee70]

Thanx Sara....I HAD THE BEST NITES SLEEP!!!!! i'm so happy.....AND i got all the way thru with no pain killers (they should be called LIFE killers lol) problem is even though i'm happy & well rested i can barely walk (over did it yesterday)....i will need a few to walk my lil one to school.
To think just a fortnite ago i needed a handful of them b4 i even got out of bed!!!
I was SO afraid of pain....afraid of not feeling 'normal' lol Thing is rite now i've never felt more normal (mentally)......its gonna be a good day i just know it!!

LOVE YOU ALLLL xoxoxo
Leanne

[Trying_hard19]

Hello Lee.. I am on day 5 of a cold turkey from Oxy and Percs .. I am 6'2 and 230lbs.. my wife always said I was a "man's man" ..

Anyway.. I cried 3 hours today.. yesterday I cried about 1.5 hours..

I guess I am a drama queen too :)

At the rate this crying is growing, it could be non stop by friday.. lol.

Don't worry about your friends attitude.. I really believe that nobody could understand Detox unless they did it ..  Don't be mad at your friend, just understand that she doesn't understand, and there is no way she could.

Sounds like your doing fine to me.  Keep posting here. .

[Trying_hard19]

Sorry for the lousy writing in that last post Lee.

My hands are like claws. Each morning it takes 10 minutes for them to even become usable.

Withdrawal is painful.  I have pain in my hands, arms, back, legs (worst), feet ..  

I think its your brain, or the addiction telling you that it disagrees with your current choices. lol..

I have been told it will pass in a few more days.  

It could be that you will have pain in your knee when you are done, but it really wont be that bad..  Either way, you will need to learn to manage that pain without narcotics..  

[Leee70]

Hey there! well done DAY 5!!!!!! that's brilliant....i can imagine what you are going thru even though i have tapered rather than go cold turkey....At first for me it was like cold turkey though i suppose because i dropped my dose hugely in the first few days rather than taper slowly i would have failed miserably otherwise i think....
Crying is good lol my tears have been happy ones lately as i HOPE yours are. I understand the hands thing....are your hands numb? I would wake up and need to shake the life back into mine...my little girl would squeeze my fingers for me lol she wants to be a doctor whe she grows up- get this - so she can look after mummy!!! (crying again-drama queen lol)
So do you have support thru this? i would assume your wife would be there but i have read sum posts where peoples addictions are a secret & their families are completely unaware....I hope you do & i wish you all the luck in the world...stay strong!!!
Lee.....PS walking is excellent i walked for about 2 hours yesterday, helps with the restless legs :)

[Leee70]

It's 8.45pm wed nite in oz, had an excellent day, my legs are still giving me grief BUT it's worse when i sit down lol so guess whose housework is up to date!?
AND only 13 tabs today i'm hoping that the days not ruined by a bad sleep....
I'm going to have long soak in the bath then hop into my nice freshly made bed lol, prop up my legs & read my trashy Jackie Collins novel until my eyes fall outta my head LOL

Leanne :)

[dominosarah]

I wrap up and get carried away with the trashy Danielle Steel books!!!!  If only those stories were true~~~~~~~~sara

Hope you are feeling good today.

[kateashamed]

Hi Lee,
I've been meaning to come back to this site to see how you've been since the weekend but I've been busy at work so by the time i get home i'm exhausted.  That's sooo good you've cut down to only 13 a day - I haven't managed to cut down as much as i want to unfortunately. I've been keeping track of the time and how many tabs I'm having for the last week and I'm finding it hard to get under 20 right now. I've got about 8 weeks till my deadline when i have a week off work and that's when i'm going c/t - fingers crossed I'll be down to 8ish a day by then. I'm glad you've got a friend that you can talk to - but as tryinghard19 says, no-one really knows what it's like unless they're going thru it themselves. My daughters boyfriend is really nasty and text me and said 'calm down and take some more codiene" because we don't get along.  Alot of people think its like taking panadol and can't understand how someone can be addicted - some even think it's funny....but they're just ignorant,  I don't think any one of us here knew the consequences when they started taking these things or we never would have started. I'm sooo glad that you're doing so well and I wish you nothing but the best...you can do it! Keep going with your plan but don't be too hard on yourself - you're doing great especially considering you have you're kids and home to take care of. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you!! It's strange - we've all got this shameful scary bond because we know what it's like...and we'll get thru this together!  Wishing you all well, and i'll be back soon. Kate X

[Leee70]

Hey there Kate i've been thinking about your sitiuation since I read your post first thing this morning...gosh i almost wish i could be there to help you!!!
I have a suggestion & you dont have to reply to this I just want you to take it on board....
You mentioned 8 weeks then going cold turkey....that's 56 days. Maybe you could start now by cutting down just a teeny half a tablet a day? 56 halves is 23 tabs.....just a thought babe...
I had the WORST sleep last nite arrrrgh i'm noticing a pattern 1 good nite 1 crap nite, oh well at least i'm home today in my nice clean house....no work til tomorrow.
Hope every one is doing well today.
Leanne :)

[Leee70]

OH MY GOSH my brain is mush lol 56 halves is 28 TABLETS!!!!! you got my drift though hey :)

[Leee70]

Dear Sara.....thank u SO much for checking in every day on me....this forum has saved my life....i log on as soon as i get up (dont neccessarily post anything every time) & the last thing b4 i go to bed, & everytime i hop on the computer thru the day (and nite).
thank u again for keeping me strong
Leanne xo

[dominosarah]

You are the one doing all the work and you are doing a fantastic job!!!  I am proud of you.  Keep it going........talk to you tonight, my time!!           sara

[Leee70]

Hi all it's 3.45pm friday arvo (weekend hooray!!!!) & i feel awesum!!
Worked today & got so much done i am moving a lot easier now & not so much like the old woman i was last week....still cannot sit for too long the restlessness in my legs is easier to ignore when i'm workin my butt off....
that feeling...the restless legs....i would not wish that on my worst enemy....it's not pain...pain i've learned to handle....it's more like torture....like ants crawling thru your bones or sumthing.....i'm sure most of you can relate....it seems to be the only problem i'm having.
I am down to 11 tabs in the last 24 hours!!!!!!

I don't know if anyone reading this read my first post but i mentioned i was being treated for depression.....10g Lexapro a day I was on as well as my disgusting painkiller diet & my handful of vitamins that i did then & still do....WELL just b4 i put my first post up i had decided to wean myself off the lexapro only so i could go back to the doc & ask for sumthing different (lexapro was making me gain weight). I have been so focused on kicking the painkillers that i just realised this morning i havent taken any medication for depression for over 2 weeks! & i feel so gooood??!!??
i wont go on but you know what i'm getting at i mean after all....i've been hooked on this poison for almost 4 years but i've only been treated for depression for the last 18 months....there was also sum talk of bipolar disorder in those early months but i don't really wanna go into that......could it be the painkillers were the problem all along....well i guess it will all work itself out in a few weeks when i'm clean of this crap...i will see how i feel & talk to my doctor.....it would be my dream to not need medication of any kind to get thru the day.....yes...that is my goal.   :)

[worried878]

long post....lots of responses but sometimes it is best to start a new one...glad u r hanign in there...so u r now off the codeine??? not sure as time reading all the posts is not here tonite...if u r still tapering remember to keep ur enthusiasm going///tapers can be difficult////is there anyway u can cut off those pharmists who seel the codeine so cheap?...like can u tell them u do not want them anymore and not to sell them to u again?  do u have any type of aftercare where u live?

[dominosarah]

Pills mess with us really bad.  Hopefully you will find that you will be okay without any meds.  If not tho dont hesitate to talk with your doctor.

Glad to hear you had a productive day and are looking forward to the weekend.  I get the pleasure of working all weekend!!!!  Yippee!!!              sara

[kateashamed]

Hi Lee - that's actually a good idea; cutting down half a day.  I'll give it a go!  I think my problem with the tapering off is the time between doses; if i can go 3-4 hours it should be all good but i definitely use it as some sort of crutch - like if something goes wrong I reach for the tabs and pop a few. Then that one extra dose can ruin the plan for the day.
I've also been trying to take 2 at a time instead of 3 - it's all a mind game.
Hey Worried878 - that is also a good idea (but also scary) to let our local pharmacys know that we want to be cut off.  I think if I get through my week of c/t that's what i probably need to do in case I have a moment!  But what do you mean by 'long post'? I'm new to this site and this is the only one I really look at and post to (due to time constraints) though I have read through many, including the older ones. It really helps with resolve and planning and support and just knowing we're not alone in this.
I'll start a new question in 8 weeks - It'll be "I'm going Cold Turkey - Help"!! lol - I'm actually looking forward to it - sort of!  Thanks Lee and Worried878 for your wisdom and care. KateX :0)

[kateashamed]

Hi Lee, I forgot to say - you may already know - but a couple of pharmacys have told me that from May 1 any more than a small pack of 24 will need a script. And this is the reason why I've made my decision to stop so I suppose it is a good thing.  I know it's a pain to have to go pharmacy surfing for the 75 pack let alone having to pharmacy surf for the 24 pack - I'd have to go daily!  Just thought you should know......Kate X

[Leee70]

Hi Kate
Yep i know about the new 'rules'  it's about time, the 24 packs shouldn't even be on the shelf really...
As far as letting the chemist know of my problem....i will do that if i feel myself getting weak again....i won't need to my daughter will. I didn't feel the need to mention it b4, but as you know my daughter is rite by my side with this....She has my atm card, she knows all my internet banking details, passwords everything, i can't even buy a loaf of bread without checking with her...when i do need money for petrol or whatever i give her the receipts ect....she's so good, dunno where she gets it from?!?!? LOL
Have saved a bit of money too which is always good.......down to 10 tabs this last 24 hours & feeling fantastic still having grief with my legs though....last nite they drove me insane so i got up got the deep heat rub & rubbed it in massaging as hard as i could then i wrapped my legs up nice & firm with heavy duty bandages (ur not supposed to do that apparently but i was desperate), from my ankles up to my thighs..it worked, i slept for hours after that, but i woke up& i was so hottt!! it's summer here lol so i unwrapt my mummified body & had a nice warm shower...i can cope with the legs during the day, its at nite when im tryna sleep & not reach for pain pills....have a great day all!! xx

[dominosarah]

It wont be long now and you will be totally off these pills.  You have done so well!!!  I know a couple people who wrapped their legs in ace bandages and it really worked for them too.  Hope today was a good one for you~~~~~~sara

[dominosarah]

Where are you girl?

[Leee70]

Hi Sara.....I'm here, I hurt my back a few days ago, was feeling just a little too invincible & moved some furniture to give the house a good vacuum, could hardly move for a few days, felt like I had run a marathon.
I stayed strong but I still havent gone over or under 10 tabs a day, been hovering on that amount for about 4ish days now.
I am proud of myself usually when i've attempted tapering in the past....this is a time where i would fail & the amount would rapidly climb back to that toxic amount I was on hmmm.....just 17 days ago!!!!! I posted that first post on the 1st feb....it is my goal to be completely clean by the 1st of March. Thanx for checking on me Sara...
Leanne xo

[violet29]

Hi Lee,

Your story is truly inspiring - I am glad to hear you are feeling better and getting some much needed rest :)

I have also stopped taking my antideppressants.  I am trying to come off of cocaine and ecstasy.  I just need to completely clean out my system and start over.  I am really looking forward to a new happy and healthy life.

That being said - I think its important to maybe check with your doctor regarding antidepressants.  There are supplements you can get 5-htp and L-tyrosine which may help, instead of the pharmaceutical stuff.

17 days way to go! Keep up the good work!

Violet :)

[babe3]

welcome, i am new here too. you are not alone. you deserve to be heathy and clean. good luck and keep coming back

[Leee70]

Violet29 & babe3 thanx heaps girls, i am still struggling with my back & legs but am down to 8 tabs in the last 24 hours.....lol nearly down to the amount it says not to go over on the pack warning (DO NOT EXCEED 6 TABS IN 24 HOURS)!!!!
Good luck to both of you as well & Violet i will talk to my doctor about the supplements, I am the vitamin queen lol probably why i've had the strength to stick with the tapering this time (failed a few times in the past)....

Love & Luck to you all
Leanne :)

[dominosarah]

I was just looking for this post!!!!  I am so happy to hear you are continuing with your taper....Wont be long now!!!  Keep it going as you are doing great!!!!          sara

[Leee70]

Havent been on for a few days, have been flat out....the guy i'm working for has friends coming from OS so have been there every day cleaning & stocking up the freezer with food....haven't worked this hard in ages i'm exhausted!!! in a good way though...
Well it's 5.25am wed morning (24th) here & i am very proud to announce that i have just gone my first 24 hours with NO pills! I had gotten down to 5 tabs the day before last & last nite b4 bed i was in agony, i had planned to take 3 & a half.....but i fell asleep!!! so i took NONE!!!
Admittedly i wouldn't normally be awake rite now lol but i was so excited i had to come & post this....this is like my diary, thats why i haven't started a new post i want to look back at this....Now i'm just going to take it easy today, not take any pills & if i find that i can't manage/handle my pain i will go to my doctor & discuss a way but i am never going to take anything with CODEINE in it ever again.....I don't wanna jump the gun or anything but i'm going to say it......I AM CLEAN!!!!!!!!!

[dominosarah]

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!  This is really great!!  I am going to do the happy dance, Minnesota style........sara

[jenny06xx]

hi lee congrats on being clean!!
your doing great so far ........i know exactly how you feel just been through it all myself !!
have you got yourself prepared with all the things you need for rls etc?
i found the only thing that helps with the restlessness (for me) was not to fight it to just get up make a cuppa come on here type my fingers to the bone moan at everything lol an boy did i moan !! then without realising the restlessness was gone so i could get a couple more hours sleep (not alot but enough)
ask everything you need to ask or want to know there is always someone here to help you through like they did for me!!
good luck stay strong!!
jen

[vicki595]

Lee!!!   Wow!!!    I'm really happy for you.   You are going to feel so much better without all that junk in your body...You'll be amazed!

Keep posting on your progress and how you're feeling each day...It shouldn't be too bad.   Keep taking all the vitamins!

Love~ Vicki

[Leee70]

Thanks everybody, I am in pain but i don't think it's going to get worse than this.....I actually think i'm this sore today because i was on my feet for literally 12 hours yesterday, i didn't sit down once (except to drive lol) so i'm going to take it easy today. I'm tired but i will not be tempted to snooze because i know that will bugger up my sleep tonite....my kids are so proud AND it's my little girls 6th birthday on saturday!!! plenty to keep my mind, body (& soul) occupied & content....
HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!!!!! xoxoxo

[cleanmom]

Congratulations! That is excellent! I have been following your diary here, you go girl!!!

[Leee70]

Day 4 & i'm in a very strange place (mentally)....i'm not sad or depressed, but i'm not exactly filled with joy either....i can't explain it.....all through the last month every day was a triumph because i had a plan & i stuck to it....now i feel like i'm going thru a bit of an anti-climax....
oh well i just have to ride with it lol i have been thru worse after all AND i'm cleeeeeean!!

[Amerra1]

Hi lee well done on your dettox.Just wondered did u see your doctor 4 blood tests to check your blood levels and kidneys etc..........

[susanr27]

Hi leee70! Ive read ure whole story and I'm so proud of u. I'm going through the same thing with nurofen plus. Ive been taking it for about a yr and 6 months & I've had enough. I need to get off this crap ASAP. I took 96 tabs on Sun, but yesterday & today I've only had 36. It's a huge drop in dose, & I don't usually take 96 a day. I was stable on 24 twice a day until I stuffed it up on Sun cause I wanted to feel high. I did start using this cause of headaches but instead I felt that high & I have been chasing it since then. I'm ashamed of my habit, & no one knows about it. I feel to embarrassed to talk to them about it cause I work in the health profession & I should know better. Plse help me through this! Anyone! Plse

[susanr27]

Hi leee70! Ive read ure whole story and I'm so proud of u. I'm going through the same thing with nurofen plus. Ive been taking it for about a yr and 6 months & I've had enough. I need to get off this crap ASAP. I took 96 tabs on Sun, but yesterday & today I've only had 36. It's a huge drop in dose, & I don't usually take 96 a day. I was stable on 24 twice a day until I stuffed it up on Sun cause I wanted to feel high. I did start using this cause of headaches but instead I felt that high & I have been chasing it since then. I'm ashamed of my habit, & no one knows about it. I feel to embarrassed to talk to them about it cause I work in the health profession & I should know better. Plse help me through this! Anyone! Plse