Hello! I desperately need help!!! I have a very addictive personality, always replacing one addiction with another. Alcohol, then Crystal Meth for 4 years and now Hydrocodone for the last 2 years. I spend more $ buying Hydrocodone off the streets then I ever spent on Meth! I take 10-12 10mg hydros per day. In between the Meth & the Hydros, I was on antidepressants, which seemed to help me. I ran out of antidepressants and took a hydro, been addicted ever since.
My husband has no idea I take the pills. I hid the Meth use for yrs before finally asking for help & don't want to let him know I am addicted to something else.
How do I stop? I have no Dr. (haven't been in years). I can go see a Dr. (I do have insurance) but how do I find one that will help me? When I did a google search looking for a Dr. to help, I came across Suboxone. Should I ask for that to help me get off the Hydrocodones?
Any help will be greatly appreciated!!!
P.S. Reading on the internet today, it seems that Suboxone may be even worse to get off of than the Hydros? Thought it sounded like a "quick fix" but guess there is no such thing :(
Hi:) If you think that you will always be susceptible to becoming addicted to harmful substances, then suboxone may be a long term solution for you. If you are only looking to take it to be able to get off the hydros, I think that would be a bad idea....I think you could stop and detox off the hydros without suboxone. But after detox from the hydros, what will you do to make sure that you stay clean? NA/AA meetings? Therapy? Inpatient rehab?
How are your relationships with your family members? and your husband?
I think if you tell your husband what is going on, that you will feel like the weight of the world has come off your shoulders. I've heard here many times that "you are only as sick as your secrets". I know how alone it can feel when you keep everything to yourself. You need to have someone involved and helping you. I would start by asking your husband for help...or any family member really...parents, siblings...you want to be clean, and they will want to help you get there. If you have insurance, then you have options. You could make an appointment with a doctor, or with an addiction specialist. They would be able to advise you best after going through your history. You are making the decision to stop, so you have already taken a step in the right direction. There are some medications and vitamins and supplements that could make the withdrawals from hydrocodone more bearable... You can find info about "The Thomas Recipe" here on this site....a lot of great info on how to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal. And one of the most important things you need to do is to have an aftercare plan. So meetings, therapy, something.....especially with your history.
In regards to suboxone, the only way I think you would or should consider it, is if you think that you just cannot stay clean without it...or something similar like a methadone maintenance program...but that is something you need to research and get multiple opinions about...and even talking with more people here on this forum would help. I hope I helped you a little? I have not had experience taking suboxone for addiction maintenance or for assistance with getting off other substances, so I cannot give you any further advice for your situation really. I am on suboxone now, after a long 5 years taking very strong medications for a permanent injury and chronic pain. I will likely take suboxone indefinitely for my pain...I had a very high tolerance, and the medications just stop working after a while, and taking crazy large amounts with no pain relief just made no sense to me...I was able to get into a pain clinic in my area (there are hardly any resources where I live in Canada), and soon we will start alternative therapies also, like injections and nerve blocks, and maybe i can go to a lower dose of suboxone. The reason I am telling you this, is because I would not have gone on suboxone for any shorter amount of time...because it is very hard to get off of. I just feel like I am on a safer type and amount of medication now...20mg of suboxone as opposed to 100 mcg fentanyl patch with dilaudid for breakthrough. I hope I've been clear, please message me if you have any specific questions, and if I can answer them, I will. Good luck:)
Sounds to me like you should "refill" your antidepressant medication, sounds like you went off course for a bit (like we do), but you've said that they seemed to work for you, so why wouldn't you try this again? Unlike Optimus, you have no need for pain relief ant you are experiencing addiction behaviour (canuck lol), I've been clean and sober for 13 years, after getting off of coke,crack, heroiin, oxy's (for my back), alcohol. I turned it all in for a Teeter's Inverse Board for my back and AA/NA for my addiction. I hadn't read the big book , when I refused to take anything else in residential rehab. It would have been easy to do, many were replacing their drug of choice. I'm really glad that i didn't I had a son to get back to. He needed to see me clean, and I was at my bottom, simply, for me, I just refused to keep playing the same old game. I wish you the very best, I know how hard this is going to be for you. I guess that it's true, methadone etc. if for people that don't believe that they can quit without something. I have to agree wholeheartedly with optimus, I too believe that you can kick a Hydros with a doctor approved detox plan and lots and lots of the 12 steps. There's no easier softer way. I can tell you that I've been clean and sober for 13 years. I no longer go to meetings, but I did when I began for the first couple of years. I have my big book, and read it occasionally. I have a "normal" life now. I think that I am more appreciative of life, than I would have been without my addiction. Everyday clean and sober is now a blessing. Everyday that I wake up and don't have to use, is a God Send, to me, and my family. I wish you the very best decision making, of your life right now. Please feel free to contact me, should you need to talk, as I said , I used hard drugs for 20 years, so I will understand how you're feeling for sure. There are so many people on here that would be so happy to help support you through this, minute by minute, day by day. Have faith in us, until you can have faith in yourself again. Get to a meeting. There are woman's groups should you choose. In case you are The Child of An Alcoholic, there's a group for that too. Lot's of good stuff happening. You can do this!!!
I agree with optimus, some folks need to be on subs for a length of time to build an aftercare program, work the 12 steps, and simply practice living a comparatively drug free life. As a methadone addict, I am a bit biased, but I would choose subs over methadone, because subs have less potential for abuse.
That being said, at 100mg-120mg of hydros, if you have a strong support group in place and are already living a recovery lifestyle, you're only looking at 7 days of acute withdrawal. Within a few weeks you would be feeling pretty good and the detox would be behind you. Compared to coming off subs, that is a much easier path. There is no easy way to be opiate free. Deciding to quit is the hardest part. You are on your way.
I used subs for a high dose methadone addiction. I usually do not suggest subs unless a person is on a high dose of strong opiates. Aftercare, as mentioned above, is the most important part of sub or any detox program. We're cheering for you. Keep us posted as you go.
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