I need help

[jojolovesherboys]

Well I havnt been on here in a while. But things are at a all time worse. My bills got so backed up that my sons father decided to take my baby. I didn't even say anything.  Everytime I make it to day 2 or 3 and cave. How can I get through this. Any suggestions to help me get through day 3 will be great. He told me if I get myself together, I can get my son back.

[jojolovesherboys]

Well I took my last two pills today, tomorrow is my last work day, and I'm off this weekend. I hope to get through this. I will have my boys this weekend. But hopefully I will be ok. Yes I'm tired and drained emotionally. I will keep posting, this addiction maakes me seclude myself, but I just want to get clean. Its so hard. I feel like I'm about to loose it.

[motye51]

Good morning.....well, from what I read above, it's NOT so good of a morning.  But it can get better and you CAN get him back.  I know you've been having some trouble with detoxing....and I can't help but think it's BECAUSE YOU HAVE 3 YOUNG BOYS!!!  Maybe, getting their father to take them, temporarily, so that you can have a couple of weeks to work on yourself is the right way to go?  I can't imagine how your going to detox and run around, cook, run errands, school work, etc...  To me, its a set up for failure.  Maybe sit your ex down and tell him what you are trying to do. Employ him to help!  Ask him if he CAN take the boys for a couple of weeks, and you use this time to work on you!  You seem to be going in circles and it's time to stop!  You want to be the wonderful mother I'm sure those boys deserve, then start taking care of yourself and the start would be to detox!  I know, easier said than done, I hear ya, but if he's willing to take him b/c your "sick", then maybe he'll help to get you better? If not the father, how about your parents?

[ouchie1987]

Each time u cave it prolongs ur wd!!!! I kept doing that and eventually became discouraged then started taking them again.

Flush ur pills!!!!

[glassguy]

Get rid of pills the temptation is way to hard to deal with when you are a addict. You really have to try harder.GET RID OF ALL YOUR PILLS!!!!!

[jojolovesherboys]

Thank u so much. I need allt the prayers I can get. I am so tired, of living like this

[jojolovesherboys]

Thank u so much. I need allt the prayers I can get. I am so tired, of living like this

[PurrfectlyKrazy]

Hun.  The only way you are going to be successful is to get rid of all temptation...this means get rid of the drugs, get rid of any suppliers.  Otherwise you will continue to cave.  I know it is hell to work when you feel like cr@p but it is preferable to lying around and giving in to all the awful feelings.  Any time you feel like caving come here and ask for support....let us give you that support.  Once you are done with the WD's you can immediately get into some aftercare, NA meetings, Google...there are some great online support groups, Church...whatever works for you.

Hydrate tons....it will be worse for you if you don't.  Will pray for you

[jojolovesherboys]

Unfortunatly I caved. I had to clean for inspection and I was sick. So I'm starting again today, its hard because doing this and going to work is crazy. I want to be clean. I gotta push through being sick at work. Keep me in ur prayers

[Yesidid]

Hi Jojo. Been praying for you quietly from the sidelines here. I know that today had to be a big day for you - I hope you hung in there but no matter what happened today keep posting and keep trying. God Bless

[lulu747]

Honey my heart is a little broken for you.  I've watched your struggle and can feel your fear and loneliness.  You aren't alone.  You can make this better, you can heal.  I would recommend you throwing yourself into recovery like you've never committed to anything before.  Do 90 meetings in 90 days.  Look at it as a blessing that your son is with his father and use this time to GET WELL so you can be the mother that he deserves.  Don't worry about the past, or focus on the future, all you have is this moment RIGHT NOW.
All we have any control over in life is the choices that we make.  Make the choice to be the best you that you can possibly be.  You need SUPPORT.  Constant, daily, moment-moment support.  We will do all we can for you from here, but you need to get humble and walk into the rooms of NA/AA and ask for help.  You will receive it.
Please don't try this alone, it never ever works.
I really, really want you to succeed here.  Look at this as the chance to finally take your life back and become the person you were always meant to be.
I believe in you.  Believe in yourself.
Be gentle, be kind, and be proactive.
The only person that can do this for you is you.
If you leap, the net will appear.  It always does.
Have faith.
Lu

[61chevy]

One moment at a time.  Take deep breaths n stay focused on the outcome of being free.  U can do this!  Epsom salt baths, etc...   Look up Thomas recipe.  Stay busy n keep ur mind occupied.  Sending positive thots ur way.

[jojolovesherboys]

Day one, I'm scared, my anxiety is high, I'm tired, with no sleep. I hope to get through this

[jifmoc]

Jojo I agree with all the above. Gotta ask tho, why aren't you starting NOW?

[jojolovesherboys]

Thank u so much, I start tommorow, I did google my local n/a and I'm tryn to go today. My sons dad is comn to get his things, and I. Feel I will need a meeting after that. I hit an ultimate low. I know it will be hard but I will continue to post, I just need to make it past day 3.

[jugglin]

Hey hon.  Have you sought out aftercare?  There are many options out there and you can find one that works for you.  Celebrate Recovery is a great support thru church.  AA/NA has meetings all over at all hours.  Smart Recovery is an alternative to AA/NA. Therapy. Here is an article that offers suggestions: http://alcohol.addictionblog.org/5-alternatives-to-aa-12-step-meetings/
Google, Google, and Google some more. They key is that you seek a program that works for you.  You can not do this alone. Do not let guilt and shame keep you going down this path. SO many folks here have pulled out of the downward spiral and they are no better than you. They found a program of some kind that works for them. You owe it to yourself to live a beautiful life free from drugs and you can do this.  YOU CAN.
Come on girl, get back up, dust yourself off, get back to work. We have faith in you.  We do.
Hugs and prayers out for you girl!

[Bubulous]

You are sick and it is natural to be scared.  Slow down your mind and stop driving yourself crazy.  Don't worry that you have lost everything because you haven't and never will unless it takes your very life.  Also don't waste time trying to cognitively figure out how to beat this quickly because there is no quick fix.  What you must do you have already started doing.  You have realized you have a problem.  Now truly realize you are powerless over this problem.  Powerless, that is it!
You have to start learning the three d's which is one of the basic training tools you can use that in the beginning is difficult yet crucial.
Delay yourself from taking or thinking about pills starting off at short time increments while you are doing this Distract yourself by walking, stretching, drawing, talking to someone etc then Decide what to do next.  If the answer is take a pill.... start all over.  I know this sounds basic but it does not only just apply to addiction.  It can be applied to a lot of other aspects of your life and growth so you can consider yourself to be multitasking while you are doing it.

[jojolovesherboys]

Financially, treatment is not an option. I'm. So scared right now. My life is falling apart. What happen to me. The pills have taken over my life.

[Bubulous]

Do you have the option of going to treatment?  I am sorry that you lost your son and that may give you just enough motivation to stop long enough to get him back but then you will need a new reason to stay clean.  I am not bashing you, I did the same thing for the longest time.  I could summon enough will to just barely hold my life together and keep my family but will alone was not enough to hold it together and I ultimately lost my family.