I need some help please!!!

[Erika_Ann]

I have arthritis and fibromyalgia and i am a 31 y/o female. So heres the problem. I just had some pins removed from my foot and now have  stitches so Im waiting for it to heal and get better and have no more medication left. Im so sick and tired of this rollar coaster of pills no pills. I detoxed about  a month ago and now i was on about 7 vic es a day until last night. Am I going to go through the same damn withdrawls as before? I cant go the rest of my life without pain med because of this disease. I have to have it sometimes and sometimes I dont need it at all. Sorry if Im rambling ive very frusterated. All I have to my name is paxil cr. Will that help at all with anything? I have no insurance so i guess i will do this cold turkey. Im scared and alone. Any advice would be great. Your all so wonderful and supportive here. I just need a shoulder right now.
Thank you for any imput you may have as for what for me to do. Oh, and Im on Enbrel. (doc its a shot I give myself 2 times a week) for the arthritis!
Oh, so much fun!!!!!
Erika

[vettezr1]

I have been in chronic pain from many surgeries over the years.
Many of us here have been faced with chronic pain and then the WD's when we get feedup with the pill game. I just went to what is suppose to be a very good pain managment clinic today in Conn.
No lie the doc tried talking me into taking a script for 280 Oxy's. Her thinking was I have no trace of an additcive personallity, however I am not imune from WD if I stop taking the Narc's. So I declined her offer. That said, she did try to help anyway and talked me into trying something called Topamax.
Its non Narcotic and has no dependency and if you look it up on the web it seems to be targeted for what you have?
Paxil I don't know maybe someone else can help.
To all the Extreme sports guys here I will let you know if this works, We are now getting ready for Dirt Bike season.
Oh and she also told me that if I had tappered off the meds instead of the CT route I would not have suffered so much!!!!
So maybe there is something to the taper method. To late for me but maybe someone else reading this will benifit.
Good Luck.

[Erika_Ann]

thank you for the encourgment. I think when I get insurance that will be the first thing i do is go see a pain mgmnt doc. Do you think that is a good idea for me? I appreciate your fast response. Its nice to know I can count on someone.
Thank you so much
Luv-Erika

[vettezr1]

Pain Doc can be good if you have an open mind and and are willing to be honest with them. Some people need Narc's for pain and will the rest of there lives. It was my choice not to use Narc's becuase they made me sick and its pretty hard to race Jet Ski's and Dirt Bikes, when you are numb from Narc's
I am trying this other Med and will let everyone in pain know if it works. I also accept that I will never be 100% pain free.
As far as the WD you fear, think of it as a bad case of the flu
I did the cold turkey route becuase its my personality, tough guy stuff. But if you are scared or hurting maybe you can go to
ER and ask for help,??? I wish I could offer more but others here will jump in.

[dancinginthedark]

I'm craving those 5 fiorinal sitting on the bathroom counter so I cleaned the kitchen, read through most of these posts & alas, am waxing philosophical!  Apologies in advance.

On this forum there is much discussion on the struggle to stay sober, the common view holding that ongoing sobriety is more difficult than striking that beast the death knell.  While my personal experience certainly validates this assertion, I wonder why this is so.  One explanation proffered is that we start to delude ourselves, believing we can "have just one".  LOL.  But *why* is this so?  If that destructive substance has finally & agonizingly vacated our beleaguered bodies, why then do we sit our ass back on the fire?  Is the craving inherently physical, or psychological?  

Naturally, such questions have been pondered at great length by the scientific community, so what the heck do we know?  Probably a lot more than textbooks and pontificating theorists.

I feel I'll have a better shot at sobriety if I can start to understand what is driving my craving car.

Besides, I'm a firm believer a rousing discussion is good for the soul.:-)

Bring it on.....

Dancing in the Dark but Looking for the Light

[Chezz2]

Dancing,

I love a rousing debate as well. Except when the constant use of 10cent words gets in the way of the direction of the sentence. Perhaps 5cent words would do better.  It might also conceal the authors unfeazable bout at trying to conceal their zeal for recognition. ;)

Chezz

[dancinginthedark]

Jeez, I'm really insulted.

I thought I was using 25 cent words.

Thanks for the tip.

Dancing

[Chezz2]

Well at least you are still Dancing!
Hopefully you have a smile to go with that. Cause you are right, they were worth a quarter. I forgot about inflation. ;)
I figured if anybody would get it, it would be you. :)
I like you writting and views. Just thought a little fun was in order...
...and like I said, you stillllll dancing>>>>>>>>
Chezz

[Chezz2]

Dancing,
I just read below about your current situation. Sorry to hear about that. I hope you got the humor in my post. I definetely wouldn't have gone there knowing where you are at right now with the F.
I hope you are doing alright. I am here to listen if you need an ear to lean on...
Chezz

[dancinginthedark]

Well, ya shure like toque the wind out of my sales cuz I had in my hed ritten a new won that was fur ppl who are cheap abowt wurds.

It sizzled kinda like stake on thu BBQ.

I ment 25 cent wurds cuz I ment I wuz triying two rite reely reely big wurds.  Guess you dint get my meening n I forget n'flation. :-)

:-)

With that said, dare you opine?  

BTW; I too have always enjoyed your posts.

Does this mean we are betrothed?  I mean, uh...goin' tugethu??

Dancing Faster Than Some!

[Chezz2]

Dancing,

Good post there girly. I think we will have to wait for matrimony though!!!! ;) ;(

Hope you are getting along alright without the F.

Chezz

Your posts make people think. That is endearing. Although I must say, inflation is a *****. he hee ;)

Dancin' with the lights on!

[Nod]

I suffer from a somewhat rare form of arthritis as well.  My spine, shoulders and hips are trying to fuse together. Neat! I'm 38 and been fighting it for 13 years now and winning the battle. Most of the time I look and feel pretty normal, when have flare ups I'm basically crippled. Can be a ***** on the mind going from one extreme to the other.  

The doc is right, Enrel will help but it is also good to combine this with methotrexate.  Have heard this combo can be very good & don't believe the Methtrx8 if real expensive but I could be wrong  You should also get on a NSAID like celebrex or vioxx.  All non addicting.  If you get insurance and still struggling, Remicade transfussions are another option but its expensive.  I still haven't felt like I need to go that route yet.  

Hang in there, as many with RA, Fibro or related auto immune diseases say "I know how it feels!"  Nod

[hippy]

hey there erika,
finding a good addiction doctor/ pain management doctor
would be a good start, im sure you are doing  something
regarding this part of the solution.
one of the most helpful things is the encouragement we get
from each other.
reaching out to share our experence  and anything positive
with others  is quiet helpful.
i hope you find some answers here at this fourm along with
encouragement.
as we get on the road of change , things get better little by little.
some days tho it seems like we take 1 step foward and 2 backwards
we need to stay focused on what we need and want to acheive,
in this road of frustratyion and suffering.
hopfully there is good things in your future.
keep posting and asking questions
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
i hope your feeling better

[dancinginthedark]

Erika,

I've been thinking about you & wondering how you are faring limping around.  You must be feeling pretty miserable.

Well, we're here for you so please let us know how you're doing & hang in there!

Or at least me!!!

Best,

Dancin'

[hippy]

how are you doing tonight
peace!!!!!!!hippy

[dancinginthedark]

Hey there,

I've been so long enjoying your posts, especially your poems.  I'm delighted to have officially made your acquaintance!

How am I doing tonight?  Good question.  Still buzzing from fiorinal & trying not to think how I'll fare for the next 4 days.  Today, I've done little but research addiction/fiorinal & bop back to this forum.  As I'm sure you know, you can't c/t off fiorinal & I am NOT someone who can taper.  I have tried as many times as I've refilled my scrip & I think today, finally, after I don't know how many yrs.,I finally realized I just can't do it.

Since I've done this virtually every wk., I'm not concerned about seizures, espec. since I've been on neurontin for 3 wks. Perhaps I don't have them because I have so much F floating around my system.  Or, enough to keep me going until my next refill. Without it, I'll just be lethargic, listless, sleep too much & have a MO-FO headache.  

Twas ever thus...:-(

They say the danger of seizures disappears after 5 days & I *so* much want to just end this madness.  It's exhausting.  I'm UP for 2-3 days & DOWN the duration.  My doc is adamant that I continue the detox & all the literature concurs.  But he doesn't know I binge & I haven't the heart or courage to tell him.  

Sometimes I feel as though I'm pushing a rock up a hill with a rope.  But I know I will get thru this & I cannot begin to tell you how supportive I find people like you.  I guess I'm just having a bad day as too many harsh cold realities have come to steal me from my F induced reverie.  

How are you?  You are always so positive, kind & inspiring.  Tell me how you are doing and how you keep such a strong and focused spirit.

Best wishes, Hippee

Dancing in the Pitch Black (Today!)

[teeitup]

Hello Erika-Ann, sorry your have a tough time right now. I'll be thinking about you!

Finshed - Check your email bud!

Teeitup!

[Erika_Ann]

You all made me cry. What support I have. THank you from the bottom of my heart. What would I do without all of you? (i wouldnt be here) Honestly. I was seriously thinking of suicide last night and I know deep down inside its not the answer but arthritis is so hard to live with. And Im so tired of fighting it. Im sorry im feeling sorry for myself right now. You all care so much and i hate not being able to just give all of you a hug. It drives me nuts!!!!
You all mean the world to me!
Miss you Dancin............ Im here for you too!
Love all-----
Erika

[Chezz2]

Erika,

You will make it. You just have to stand strong, believe in yourself, and reach out when times get tough.
You have already been doing all of the above. So continue and things will seem to get a little wasier as time goes by.
Some days will be worse than others. But one thing is for sure, you have support, and a backbone of people here to help get you through it...
Chezz

[Erika_Ann]

Wow that was nice. THank you sweetie. THat was so incrediably thoughtful of you!
I need all the support I can get right now. I appreciate it so much and thank you for the time you took to write to me
Love, Erika

[percsnomas]

Erika, i was checking in before i check out from work and read your post.  I'm soooo sorry things are so rough for you right now; and as Chezz said, things will improve and you certainly will make it.

When you are feeling really down(like last night), just walk over to your computor(real or imaginary), and put your hands on each side of the monitor.......and FEEL the hugs coming through.

We really are here for you!!!!

Please Hang in There

percs

[dancinginthedark]

Hey there cupcake!

I'm in fiorinal detox hell & about to toss my cookies but there is NO WAY I'm going through this hell if you're going to bail on me!

You hang in there & I will too.  I'm having cotton candy thoughts while Buddy Rich plays a solo between my ears.  Just keep thinking of this as a character enhancing exercise. :-)  Think of it as another chapter in your memoirs.  It won't sell if there ain't no drama!  I mean, what the hell kind of movie will it be without some real suffering?  Hmmmm???? :)

Bah....

I'll hang in there if you do! Deal?  Good.

Take care & write me if you need to.  ***@****

Judy

And don't worry about me having a seizure.  I'm on plenty of neurontin which is an anti-epileptic.  Just find me a new head please!!!!

[hippy]

hey the erika,
me , how do i be  me,
well i have found that it is esier to beleive the best
in everything and everyone. than the latter
i once got a futurne cookee and in side it read
THE MORE YOU GIVE THE MORE YOU GET. i had it enlarged and printed on a tee shirt.
not to say all has always been great, i also have a tee shirt i made that says  
WHEN IT RAINS PEOPLE GET WET.
both sayings are part of my reality.
one is about how to live and one is about
accepting life on life's terms
any way ,  peace to you and keep you head up high.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!hippy

[Chezz2]

Erika,

I know where you are coming from, cause I have been there before. It gets tough sometimes, especially when narcs are involved. The emotions we feel, the spinning of things in our heads, and the depression that follows is tough. To have someone there just to listen can be the best medicine of all sometimes.

I needed someone there to listen a month or so ago when my Mom died. It was so hard, since she died in a fire the day before I was supposed to move, and had a 2000 mile drive to head out on the next day. I remember wishing I had a way to be on here, or communicate with my online friends who have been there with me throughout all the stuff I have been through in the last year. Then to follow it up with my Uncle taking his life by laying himself on a fire pit, was just WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY to much for me to handle.
There was nothing any body could do to make it "better" or go-away.
I just needed someone there to             listen........ Sometimes that is all we need. Someone else to listen and validate what we are going through.
I am glad I could help you,
Chezz

[dmess68]

I am responding to Erica.  My name is Donna and I have been an addict for three years.  I have chronic pain as well and I just wanted you to know what my experince has taught me.  Please do not dexot alone.  There are many alternatives for you, one is charity care.  Every hospital has it in one form or another.  Because of your addiction, you may have a heart attack, you may have a stroke.  The dextox unit will give you medication to stop hard withdrawl, I know, I went to dextox from oxycontin.  I took 200-400mgs a day.  If you need any help please e-mail me @***@**** I will be happy to help you.  Good Luck!

[mrmichael67]

The previous poster brings up a very good point.  People who enjoy a large tolerance go through a much different experience than those who eat a handful of percs a day....or even twenty.  Now, don't get me wrong, twenty percs a day and you will get sick.  I was there and I am certainly not minimizing the experience.  It flat out sucked.  Before I went on methadone, I was on morphine and had progressed to the point where I could take almost two grams in one dose.  Now, that wasn't everyday, of course.  And, it wasn't all day.  That was just the max I could take at one time...no joke.  I could also function.  I wasn't just laying there all jammed up.  I was up and about my day.  The end of that was back in August.  The ensuing withdrawals that came on then are hard to explain.  I managed to drive myself to the clinic when I was around the 24 hr mark.  My stomach gave in around a half a mile from the clinic.  I threw up all day afterwards.  They mangaged to do my intake and get me dosed before I even saw the doc.  The doc didn't come in until later.  What happened is they took my blood pressure and it was sky high, like 220/110.  They had to medicate me, they said.  My body was going into a crisis situation.  Which is the point I am trying to make here.  If you have a very HIGH tolerance, seriously suggest medical help, especially if you are in your upper thirties to forties and up.  People have had major problems before.  The nurse told me I could have a heart attack if untreated.  I am not surprised.  I started taking meds for two herniated discs that resulted in two spinal fusions.  I have chronic pain to this day and take 110mg of methadone a day for it.  I am not saying everyone should get medical help.  If you have a ten pill a day habit and you go into withdrawal, you will be fine.....well, you know what I mean.  Every stage of tolerance (and the withdrawals that go with it) is miserable.  This is just for those who know they have a HUGE habit.....get medical help.  I am sure it took some time to get to where you are now.  Take a little more and do it right and safe.  I know how we all want it NOW.  Sorry for the long one.

[rodewc]

LOL at yr shirts.. I had one made that said "Part of witness relocation program" :) Have a gooooood wk end~

[Nod]

Hang in there!  You will make it!  Becuase your here, posting and asking for help, is the best sign in the world. You care about you and so do we.  Keep posting.  

Nod

[Kat49]

Hey Judes! I didn't know you were detoxing from your F! Don't mind me - I just got in from 12 hrs. at work and am braindead, but are you going through hard detox now?  I thought you had been tapering and on neurontin? The neurontin will definitely help you with detox, but I wasn't aware you were going to do it all the way! Kat

[hoping]

can anyone tell me what i can do to help the restless legs actually its worse than restless its like they wont hold still nor will my arms when i try to go through withdrawl from duragesic patches? i can handle all the other stuff but its sooo bad .im a type 1 diabetic 40 years old with  nerve damage  i use to take percocett for 5 years  getting off those was rough  even with the patch i was so use to taking all those pills but now my addiction is truely real not just in my mind im so scared its so bad when i try and stop i just cant stand the fact im addicted thank you guys so much for any advice

[mrmichael67]

Klonopin works pretty well at times for restless leg.  What I mean by that is some people get relief, some don't.  So can hot baths or a hot tub or a hot shower.  They are great for more than just rls.  How high was your dose?  I was on the patch for a while before I went on morphine.

[PING]

hi dancing, just got out of the hosptial, and read your post concerning neurontin, do you think they are helping? my dr gave me a scrip for them,300mg, said he had a few people on them, having good results, i am trying to taper off oxy's. so please let me know what you think, and anyone else wants to jump in on this, please do so. thanks very much.
                            lee.

[theGolden1]

Dear Hoping .... any antiseizure med will help until things go back to normal. Just remember this is a temporary condition and whatever you take for RLS, you will have to quit also. I don't know about you .... but I don't want to aquire any new drug problems. Research the medication and be informed. I learned the hard way. I applaud you for getting off those pain meds. Heres to your health!! all my best, Goldie

Ericka ... this society gives us messages regarding pain. We feel ashamed of ourselves because we are in pain. As though it were some kind of weakness. This is wrong! You need a longlasting pain med that is affective, so you can forget about all this and live your life. I have fibromyalgia too and I have been trying to get off ultram. Last week I ran into a stone wall .... I'm having a flare up ... and trying to get through it. Take your pain meds regularly and work on lifting up your spirits. I have been advised to try shiatzu massage, and I'm going to do it! I know you will be ok ... email me if you want to and please be good to yourself ..... ***@****

[mrmichael67]

If used for only the time that it is absolutely needed, Klonopin would work fine for rls without it turning into a problem.  I do know many people don't get any help from neurontin or such either.  Many do.  I also know many of those drugs take three weeks or better to start working.  That is missing the ballgame.  The bottom line here is many people have rls and nothing helps it....out of the tub that is.  I have seen many people write here over time and a lot don't get any relief from restless leg at all.  I know some do get relief and some don't even get restless leg, myself included.  I know many here worry about benzo's and that is good.  But, very short term use will not cause physical dependence.  I mean a week, tops.  It just won't.  A good healthy respect of benzos is a very good thing to have, though.  I personally don't touch them.  I have used them for short term wd use and walked away unscathed.  I just don't like the way they affect me, so I generally don't use them.  Only when absolutely necessary.  For the restless leg, I would use anything to help if it bothered me that much.  I would go light and work my way up until I hit the one that worked.

[Chezz2]

I would have to agree with Mr.Michael on the use of ANY drug to help them get off of opiates. Be it benzodiazapines or Ultram, you should be fine and not have a problem if you use them for the 1st 5 days and NOT LONGER.
Some people are adament to "warn" people of the addict potentional of using ultram or whatever to detox. You are DETOXING, not trying to find a better drug to use.
So for those people out there warning people not to use this or that for detox, aren't seeing the whole picture. IF YOU USE THE DETOXING DRUGS FOR THE 1ST FIVE DAYS YOU SHOULD BE FINE!!!
If you get 100 Zanax, 80 Ultram, 100 Klonipin, ect. ect. ect. and you USE THEM ALL, OF COURSE you are going to have problems.
Just use good judgement and only get enough necessary to use for the 1st 5 days and you will be FINE.
Chezz

[straightjacket]

i know how much rls sucks , i have had it all my life wether giong thru wd or even when im clean ,i have tryed defferent meds and have found one that works great its called  levodop its non nar non addicting belive me if i could get a buzz or addicted i would not take it ,best of luck.

[Erika_Ann]

You all have really made me feel good. I miss you guys. THank you for all the support you have given me. This chronic pain with a past of easy addiction is really hard for me to seperate sometimes. It not easy just dealing with those issues but issues of depression as well. Why cant I just have one thing to deal with? (sorry Im feeling sorry for myself today) :(
the arthrtis is really hard enough to deal with. I cant stand the pain anymore. Dying is easy, but its living that scares me to death.
Luv you all------------------------------Erika

[dancinginthedark]

I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner about neurontin.  I've been in detox hell from fiorinal w/d.  I'd only wish this on Saddam Hussein!

I have found neurontin to be very helpful with my headache pain.  I also started on 300 mg. a day & found myself quite zonked for several days.  After that passed, I noticed not just a decrease in the frequency but duration of my headaches.  I was stunned because in 5 yrs., the only thing I ever found to work was fiorinal.  And I liked it!

There are 3 other ppl on our fiorinal addicts thread who have also had the same success with neurontin so you should look forward to some real pain relief.  My doc upped mine to 600 mg. a day after 5 days & I've had no side effects or drowsiness since.

Good luck!

Dancinm

[bsills]

I agree that things like Ultram can be used for relatively short periods during DETOX.  I mean, you don't want to be in so much pain that you immediately relapse.  I think that those of us with long term habits know that there is a secondary phase that lasts 30-45 days that can seem physically agonizing.  Depending upon your personal situation, you should consider medicating this phase as well.   The question becomes how to do so without trading one habit for another.  I do believe that it can be done by continually switching the use of mild opiates as much as possible, the more structurally unrelated to your opiate of choice, the better.

[tigerisback2002]

Last Tuesday I got that call that anyone hates to get.  My daughters 23 year old boyfriend that has been addicted to Crack, Heroine and Oxy Cottons for years had died.  Today I received a call from a girl that has been friends with my daughters since they were little girls.  She informed me that she is addicted to Oxy Cottons.  She has chronic pain due to Sarcoma Cancer and she cannot get through the withdrawals at all.  She is talking about coming here  to be with me and my concern is that I know that she needs medical help to come off of this.  I explained that addiction is not a moral issue.  I am a recovering alcoholic so I do understand addiction just not too informed on oxy cottons and other drugs other then alcohol.  I dont' know if this is appropriate for me to be sharing with you but I needed somewhere to turn since she could be coming to Florida from Maine and she is not open to rehab.  She is due to graduate from College if all goes well and she can make it.  She is 27 years old and I will tell you folks that I am scared to death since I am still dealing with the loss of Roy.  I have no regrets since I did give all that I could to this young man.  I told him that I would walk through it all with him but he opted to keep using so he is gone.  I know that I can't save the world but I can educate if I knew what to say or do.  I am so glad that I did find this site as it was very helpful to read what had been posted there.  Addiction is addiction and it kills...I know that I can't save the world but I also know that I have to know that I did try with those that I love.  Thank you for allowing me this time to reach out to you.  Love and "Light", Barbara

[Thomas03]

"Sarcoma
A malignant tumor of muscles or connective tissue such as bone and cartilage."

What is this young lady going to do for pain management if she detoxes from Oxy? If this is a malignancy, isn't the pain only going to get worse? She may need to go to something stronger, not weaker.

Thomas

[tigerisback2002]

To Thomas,

I don't know what she is going to do...the bottom line is that she is abusing the drug.  She is addicted.  She will not come clean and tell her doctor so I don't know what to do with it at all.  I do know that she cannot just go cold turkey.  She has tried that and it darn near kills her from what she has told me.  She has been in remission with the Sarcoma but suffers chronic pain.  I guess I am wondering if it is real pain or psychologically an issue.  Addiction to Alcohol is bad enough but I can't imagine having the addiction to Oxy.  I have been reading all that I can on the net here and sent her many of the sights that I have located including this one.  She is saying that she can't go to rehab and drag he name through the mud.  You know and I know that it is never dragging your name through the mud when you are trying to overcome addiction.  Thank you for your response and I can't really say what she can or will do.  I do know that I am afraid for her.  She has admitted to herself, me and her mother that she is abusing the pills.  What to do from this point is beyond me but thank you so much for your feedback to me.  Sincerely and God bless you Thomas, Barbara

[Thomas03]

As you told this young lady with chronic cancer pain, addiction is not a moral issue. Would you not agree that how we treat those among who suffer, perhaps terminally, from diseases and conditions such as cancer is indeed a moral issue?

I guess I'm trying to dispute your premise that her abuse of her medication is the bottom line. I say, where there is disease and suffering, the relief of both to the greatest extent possible should be everyone's bottom line.

How does your friend benefit from sobriety if her days are filled with pain? I see chronic pain sufferers on this and other forums every day who are determined to quit narcotics with absolutely no idea how they're going to endure the agony which will surely be the most prominent result of their detox.

Sobriety is not a panacea. Certainly, your friend needs to learn to take her meds responsibly. And this won't be easy. But it's not impossible, especially for someone with Sarcoma as an incentive.

I truly hope your friend's disease stays in remission. But we all know how fleeting this can be when it comes to cancer. I'd like to see your friend and her doctor determine just how much pain she is in and how best to treat it. For chronic pain patients taking OxyContin responsibly, the biggest problem with Oxy habituation is running out.

Your friend is lucky to have someone like you to stand by her. Best of luck to both of you.

Thomas

[tigerisback2002]

Thank you Thomas...I fully grasp what you are saying to me.  I haven't heard anything more from her so it could be that she is doing what she needs to do with regard to the abusing of the meds.  I appreciate your feed back and do hope that this can be put into a more realistic level of living for her.  I can tell you that she is having a very difficult time and how I know that is the fact that she called me and wanted my support.  She will have to find the solution and I so hope that the information that I have passed on to her will help her out in some way.  God bless you and thank you so much for responding to my need of support and better understanding coupled with a different perspective where and when possible.  Barbara