I need to stay focussed!

[Sonrissa]

Today, in about 2 hours, I have my 6 month check up with my Orthopedic doctor. I am getting so anxious about it! This is where I used to get my pain pills. She is aware of my past issues with pain medication, and it is written in my chart. I made sure of that. However, my mind is going crazy thinking off all kinds of scenarios where I might be able to get her to prescribe to me. I'm even sitting here thinking I should just cancel the appointment! but! I can't! I must get through this, and be honest with my doctor! I must be honest about my pain levels. (Not much pain). Sigh! I hate this feeling, and I dread it. I need to be strong, focussed, and suck it up! I will get through this! Thanks for listening! I will report back. Need some thoughts for strength!

[BearsFan1966]

What an awesome job! Good work and I so know how you felt I had every excuse in the book! lol Be proud of yourself! we are so proud of you!!!!

[kyle505]

Now let's be honest...You knew in the back of your mind that if you'd done anything stupid you would have to answer to me, and that terrified you soooo much that pills were no longer an option. That fear is what elevated your BP and pulse.

I can't tell you how proud of you I am. Those moments really test us, and you did great. All the thoughts and worries and plans around getting meds are normal. I like the cat thing (think I told you that I did a fake cat bite once; worked like a charm). And from now on your doc visits will be much less stressful because they won't be filled with lies.
Great job.  
K (Mr. PC)

[ricart70]

Great job on not getting the script !    awesomsauce !!

[clean_in_ks]

Just now catching up and reading this.....for real?  Yellow tape and "road closed"...bahahaha!  GOOD JOB MissRissa:):)

[Pat1956100]

I don't know why but I never doubted for a second that you would get pills.  You have a very stubborn, strong streak inside of you and you should be proud of it.  I think you are wonderful.

[Sonrissa]

Why thanks Vic! I've never had a Moose hug before! I am just glad it's over! and I can stop fretting!

Oh, and Pat, so sorry, but if I had gotten a prescription, I surely would have mailed you half! (Just kidding) lol! Thank you

[Sonrissa]

When I drove up to the doctors office, I saw that they were repaving the parking lot. The driveway was blocked off with yellow tape and a sign that said, "Road Closed" I thought to myself, "well, how appropriate"!  They took me in right away, which was good so I didn't have to sit in the waiting room and continue to fret. The Medical assistant said my blood pressure and pulse were a little high. This is unusual cause I usually run low on my blood pressure. I know it was anxiety. While I waited for the doctor to come in, I kept bouncing my leg up and down on the table with the crinkly paper. I was thinking, "I could just tell her I fell down my stairs, I tripped over a cat, I fell down in the parking lot of the grocery store...."  Well, the doctor came bursting through the door, and I just took a deep breath and smiled. When she asked me what my pain level was, between 1 and 10, I honestly answered it was about a 3. When I was getting pain prescriptions, I would always say 7 or 8. Anyway, long story short (too late, I know), we discussed treatments for my arthritic knee. She is going to order some injections (yippie) of something called Euflexa, which is a gel that will help cushion my knee. My knee has about zero cartilage in it. I've had these injections before, and they really do help. I just always had pain pills to go with them! They last about 6 months. I just hope my insurance will cover them, as they are not cheap, and I can't afford this right now.

Anyway, I was out of there in 1/2 hour total, with NO pain pill prescription! I was so relieved that I drove my butt straight to the Starbucks drive-thru and ordered a Venti Salted Carmel Mocha Frappacino! It was wonderful!

Thanks so much for the replies of support and confidence in me! I truly appreciate it! Take care all!

[Pat1956100]

Just thinking of you.  Let me know how you make out and if you do end up with a script, you have to mail it to me.
lol
Hugs
Pat

[dominosarah]

Once you get in there it will be different and you will feel a sense of relief when you leave.  I am glad you were honest with the doctor before and yourself today.  Hope you are feeling better!

[weaver71]

I'd bet your bottom dollar you'll walk out that door jumping up clicking you heals together. The first time is always the hardest. I ain't just whistling Dixie. You'll. be sittin high on the hog, breaking your arm patting your back, and giggling till the cows come home. I have no doubt, this will be a positive after it is over.

[VICourageous]

This just reminded me of what I did..Well I told Drs, Dentist, Pharmacies, on & on..Well in my 10 month (I think) I had some BAD Body pain..I had a Dr appt that day. I go in and tell him how bad the pain was and Maybe just Maybe can he give me like 20 hydos since I have not had any of those since the late 90s. I told him that I would give them to my Hub to hand them to me As Needed..Ha!!! Is what he said..He just looked and smiled and said he was afraid my Addiction would just start right back up and that I would find them anyway or anywhere..He said I would be back in there in 3 months with a full blown Addiction again..I am SO Glad I told him the truth and he really gave me some great info and Support..He is 1000000% right and I would not want to go down this darn Road Again!!! Your mind is playing tricks and is playing that good ol tape back in the Brain..BUT once you leave without a scrip you will feel so so so good about You & Your Drs decision on this..Take a deep Breath and just go in with your chin help high..This here will pass.
Bless

[clean_in_ks]

It's great your chart is already noted....but I still "get" what your head is doing, girl.   I can tell ya when I left the dentist after being honest....I was just SO PROUD OF ME.....it was definitely "uncomfortable"....but since your doc already knows....what you are saying is you hate it that your addict brain Is "doing it's manipulative thinking thang" right
  
I'll just betcha....(or as you said the other day...."I'd just bet the farm"...haha) that once you get r done ( when your appt is over)...you'll be smiling, rockin out to your music and SO happy that you have, once again, reinforced "no access"..."no avenue"....."road permanently closed".....and that in and of itself will FREE you and give you a joyful giggle in your heart.  
You can do it...sure am glad you came on and shared BEFORE your appt......you're shining, Sonrissa!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to hear from you tonight~

[lizbuzz]

Sonrissa You got this I know how you feel  I had an dr appt last week I was so nervous I had my hubby go in with me which I never did cause I never wanted him to hear the lies I told to get my pills,but once she came in and asked how was I doing I took a deep breath and said I'm doing ok some pain but nothing I can't mange with ib...once you get through this next appt will be much easier..I'm praying for you....you got this!

[vicki595]

Hi! I have a thought. Take me with you and I'll tell her!   Okay, how about a note written to her that you hold in your hand. If you get tempted to ask for anything, just hand her the note.  It should say: "I hate pills. I don't want them. They make me sick and crazy and ugly and fat. Thank you."    

That will take care of it!   But, really, calm down and get the appt. over with today and don't worry...she won't give you anything anyway but I hate that you're having this struggle...

[Dane74]

Hey girlfriend!! I know exactly what your talking about our dang addict brains go hay wire when we can possibly have a connection to get pills!  You did great putting it in your chart and making the doc aware of your past problems with the meds, stay focused and remember how far you came, remember all that you overcame and keep the eye on the prize girlfriend!!!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!  Cant wait to hear  you report back with your VICTORY!